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30 Amazing Tips To Make Your Personal Growth 10 Times Faster

30 Amazing Tips To Make Your Personal Growth 10 Times Faster

A new year is here, and most of us are reflecting on how the previous year has been; for some it has been a successful, for others, it has been average, while others can’t wait to start a new chapter. No matter how you feel about the past year, it is important to readjust and start mapping out what you need to accomplish this coming year. Most of us are familiar with New Year’s resolutions, like being more active in meetings, or leaving your dead-end job. The truth of the matter is that change is hard. However, by creating smart, practical goals, especially from this Quora answer by Shovan Chowdhury, you can change. Here are some fantastic tips to expedite your personal growth this year.

1. Do what you love.

Follow your own way. If you avoid following the crowd, you will find success.

Related post: 10 Things To Remember If You Want To Do What You Love For A Living

2. Learn from failure stories.

We tend to focus only on the success stories, and forget that failure stories have bigger lessons to teach. Understand why they failed, and learn from them.

Related post: 10 Famous Failures That Will Inspire You to Be a Success

3. Be ambitious, but also plan.

Ambition and planning go hand in hand. You need to think big, but also plan in smaller portions.

Related post: Study Finds People With Ambitious Goals Are Happier And More Satisfied

4. Follow your passion.

Chase your dreams and visions to the greatest depths and heights; they will surely bring you success.

Related post: Want to Find Your Passion? Follow These Steps

5. Be creative.

Creativity does not always come naturally; it is a conscious effort to be innovative, different, and better.

Related post: 42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself

6. Read self-help books.

Books such as The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell will condition your mind towards growth.

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Related post: 20 Self-Help Books To Better Your Life In All Aspects

7. Be practical.

It’s all about being realistic, while at the same time being positive and learn from your mistakes.

Related post: 11 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself Quickly

8. Avoid being materialistic.

Materialism breeds greed, which leads to failure.

Related post: 7 Reasons Why You’re Materialistic When It Doesn’t Make You Happier

9. Be a good listener.

Listening promotes better relationships.

Related post: How To Be A Good Listener Everyone Likes Talking To

10. Give it your best.

Always give everything you do 100%, but also know when to step back.

Related post: Never Force Anything. Give It Your Best Shot, And Then Let It Be

11. Create powerful habits.

Positive habits magically multiply personal success rates.

Related post: 10 Powerful Habits of Ultra Successful People

12. Stop trying to impress.

Avoid trying to impress people. Confident people have nothing to show off.

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Related post: 10 Reasons Why You Should Not Stop Being True To Yourself

13. Become a natural leader.

Improve your negotiation and communication skills.

Related post: 6 Traits to Become a Respected Leader

14. Understand work politics.

Knowing how to interact with others will enable you to know how to climb up the corporate ladder quickly.

Related post: 6 Tips for Becoming a Successful Workplace Leader

15. Don’t be an open book.

Avoid expressing everything, and be a little mysterious.

Related post: Anyone Can Be Romantic With These 30 Tips

16. Pursue an enjoyable hobby.

Hobbies will not only improve your quality of life, but also fast-track your career.

Related post: 6 Creative and Fulfilling Hobbies to Take Up After the Holidays

17. Teach others.

Imparting knowledge is one of the fastest ways to practice skills and even learn something new yourself.

Related post: 3 Types of people that are destined to succeed at almost anything

18. Spend time with great and creative people.

If you surround yourself with people you want to be like, it can only make you better.

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Related post: 7 Powerful Habits Of Insanely Creative People

19. Love yourself

Put your health, emotions, and family first.

Related post: You’re More Lovable If You Know How To Love Yourself

20. Be disciplined.

The ultimate tool to personal growth is being disciplined and consistent.

Related post: 15 Things Only Self-Disciplined People Would Understand

21. Continually improve your life.

You need to adopt a positive attitude to progressively make changes in your life

Related post: 10 Ways To Reduce Stress And Improve Your Life

22. Get the necessary skills.

Attend workshops, training sessions, and classes to get the necessary skills to take you to the next level.

Related post: 10 Highly-Desired Skills You Can Acquire By Self-Learning

23. Be curious.

Curious people tend to be more successful because they ask more questions and get to learn more.

Related post: Be Curious about the World

24. Keep fit.

Eating a good diet and working out regularly are good for your confidence, and will keep you mentally sharp.

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Related post: 9 Reasons Why People Are Not Able To Always Keep Fit

25. Do not procrastinate.

Do what needs to be done now, and not later.

Related post: 5 Ways to Beat Procrastination

26. Rise early.

You are most productive in the morning when your body and mind are fresh.

Related post: 6 Ways To Wake Up Early Without Feeling Tired

27. Do volunteer jobs

Volunteering will help you gain experience and recognition.

Related post: 5 Volunteering Activities That Can Improve Your Job Prospects

28. Help people.

Being able to give a hand is fulfilling, and important.

Related post: You Don’t Need a Reason To Help People

29. Have a career plan.

With a plan, you will know what you need to do to achieve your career goals.

Related post: Is Career Planning Really Necessary?

30. Kill the bad habits.

Stop wasting time and money partying too much.

Related post: 7 Bad Habits That Are Ruining Our Ability To Succeed And How To Break Them

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Christopher Jan Benitez

Christopher is a passionate writer sharing about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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