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30 Amazing Tips To Make Your Personal Growth 10 Times Faster

30 Amazing Tips To Make Your Personal Growth 10 Times Faster

A new year is here, and most of us are reflecting on how the previous year has been; for some it has been a successful, for others, it has been average, while others can’t wait to start a new chapter. No matter how you feel about the past year, it is important to readjust and start mapping out what you need to accomplish this coming year. Most of us are familiar with New Year’s resolutions, like being more active in meetings, or leaving your dead-end job. The truth of the matter is that change is hard. However, by creating smart, practical goals, especially from this Quora answer by Shovan Chowdhury, you can change. Here are some fantastic tips to expedite your personal growth this year.

1. Do what you love.

Follow your own way. If you avoid following the crowd, you will find success.

Related post: 10 Things To Remember If You Want To Do What You Love For A Living

2. Learn from failure stories.

We tend to focus only on the success stories, and forget that failure stories have bigger lessons to teach. Understand why they failed, and learn from them.

Related post: 10 Famous Failures That Will Inspire You to Be a Success

3. Be ambitious, but also plan.

Ambition and planning go hand in hand. You need to think big, but also plan in smaller portions.

Related post: Study Finds People With Ambitious Goals Are Happier And More Satisfied

4. Follow your passion.

Chase your dreams and visions to the greatest depths and heights; they will surely bring you success.

Related post: Want to Find Your Passion? Follow These Steps

5. Be creative.

Creativity does not always come naturally; it is a conscious effort to be innovative, different, and better.

Related post: 42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself

6. Read self-help books.

Books such as The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell will condition your mind towards growth.

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Related post: 20 Self-Help Books To Better Your Life In All Aspects

7. Be practical.

It’s all about being realistic, while at the same time being positive and learn from your mistakes.

Related post: 11 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself Quickly

8. Avoid being materialistic.

Materialism breeds greed, which leads to failure.

Related post: 7 Reasons Why You’re Materialistic When It Doesn’t Make You Happier

9. Be a good listener.

Listening promotes better relationships.

Related post: How To Be A Good Listener Everyone Likes Talking To

10. Give it your best.

Always give everything you do 100%, but also know when to step back.

Related post: Never Force Anything. Give It Your Best Shot, And Then Let It Be

11. Create powerful habits.

Positive habits magically multiply personal success rates.

Related post: 10 Powerful Habits of Ultra Successful People

12. Stop trying to impress.

Avoid trying to impress people. Confident people have nothing to show off.

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Related post: 10 Reasons Why You Should Not Stop Being True To Yourself

13. Become a natural leader.

Improve your negotiation and communication skills.

Related post: 6 Traits to Become a Respected Leader

14. Understand work politics.

Knowing how to interact with others will enable you to know how to climb up the corporate ladder quickly.

Related post: 6 Tips for Becoming a Successful Workplace Leader

15. Don’t be an open book.

Avoid expressing everything, and be a little mysterious.

Related post: Anyone Can Be Romantic With These 30 Tips

16. Pursue an enjoyable hobby.

Hobbies will not only improve your quality of life, but also fast-track your career.

Related post: 6 Creative and Fulfilling Hobbies to Take Up After the Holidays

17. Teach others.

Imparting knowledge is one of the fastest ways to practice skills and even learn something new yourself.

Related post: 3 Types of people that are destined to succeed at almost anything

18. Spend time with great and creative people.

If you surround yourself with people you want to be like, it can only make you better.

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Related post: 7 Powerful Habits Of Insanely Creative People

19. Love yourself

Put your health, emotions, and family first.

Related post: You’re More Lovable If You Know How To Love Yourself

20. Be disciplined.

The ultimate tool to personal growth is being disciplined and consistent.

Related post: 15 Things Only Self-Disciplined People Would Understand

21. Continually improve your life.

You need to adopt a positive attitude to progressively make changes in your life

Related post: 10 Ways To Reduce Stress And Improve Your Life

22. Get the necessary skills.

Attend workshops, training sessions, and classes to get the necessary skills to take you to the next level.

Related post: 10 Highly-Desired Skills You Can Acquire By Self-Learning

23. Be curious.

Curious people tend to be more successful because they ask more questions and get to learn more.

Related post: Be Curious about the World

24. Keep fit.

Eating a good diet and working out regularly are good for your confidence, and will keep you mentally sharp.

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Related post: 9 Reasons Why People Are Not Able To Always Keep Fit

25. Do not procrastinate.

Do what needs to be done now, and not later.

Related post: 5 Ways to Beat Procrastination

26. Rise early.

You are most productive in the morning when your body and mind are fresh.

Related post: 6 Ways To Wake Up Early Without Feeling Tired

27. Do volunteer jobs

Volunteering will help you gain experience and recognition.

Related post: 5 Volunteering Activities That Can Improve Your Job Prospects

28. Help people.

Being able to give a hand is fulfilling, and important.

Related post: You Don’t Need a Reason To Help People

29. Have a career plan.

With a plan, you will know what you need to do to achieve your career goals.

Related post: Is Career Planning Really Necessary?

30. Kill the bad habits.

Stop wasting time and money partying too much.

Related post: 7 Bad Habits That Are Ruining Our Ability To Succeed And How To Break Them

More by this author

Christopher Jan Benitez

Christopher is a passionate writer sharing about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

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  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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