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Anyone Can Be Romantic With These 30 Tips

Anyone Can Be Romantic With These 30 Tips

Romance: a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? Sadly, most of us have a tendency to get too comfortable and complacent in our relationships, turning what used to be fresh and exciting into a VCR rewind that becomes boring and monotonous.

A person can only do the same thing so many times before they get bored, so going on the same dates over and over again probably isn’t the best way to keep your love life exciting or mysterious. The good news? Anyone can be romantic. Apply these 30 tips if you’d like to make your partner say, “WOW!”

1. Is your partner sick at work?

Surprise them at work with hot cocoa or tea. If they’ve got a terrible case of the flu, you could even bring them a thermos containing Theraflu! One of my past girlfriends did this for me and I thought it was one of the sweetest things she ever did for me. Don’t underestimate the power of small, thoughtful surprises!

2. Make a mix tape/CD.

It’s old-school, but it still works (and your partner will think about you every time they listen to it!). 

3. Start every day with a hug and kiss.

This will release feel-good hormones in your body that will make you and your love feel super happy!

4. Write a love note.

Yes, you could send a text saying, “I love you,” but that’s too obvious. Given that most of us communicate electronically all day every day, taking the time to actually write a letter by hand will show your partner how thoughtful and romantic you are.

5. Write a love poem.

If a note is just too easy, step up your game by upgrading to a love poem! It doesn’t have to be a Shakespearean sonnet: it’s the thought that counts! If you’re a comedian, you could even make it comedic, because few things are more sexy than funny people.

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6. Go on a picnic.

Prepare a lunch or grab some take-out and enjoy a scenic lunch together. Bonus points if you plan it at a time the park will be quiet so you can enjoy some much-needed peace and silence together.

7. Never stop complimenting your partner.

Never stop complimenting your partner on your favorite things about their body, and if they’re looking super suave and sexy, make sure you tell them all about it.

8. Shoulder rub? Yes, please!

Who doesn’t love a good shoulder rub? Give your partner a nice massage if they look tense after work. If you’re lucky, they might return the favor. If you’re really lucky, it could lead to more fun activities!

9. Say, “I love you.”

It goes without saying, but in the hustle and bustle of the stressful life a lot of us lead, it’s awfully easy to forget the power of those three simple words.

10. Do you remember that one time…?

As the months and years go on, it can become easy to forget why we fell so hard for a person in the first place. Talk about that lovely day you met each other, laugh about that terribly embarrassing thing you said on your first date, and remind each other of your relationship’s Greatest Hits!

11. Surprise your honey with coffee or breakfast in bed.

This goes for you too, guys. Bring your partner a cup of coffee to help them start the morning energized with a quick caffeine hit (they will thank you for it!). If you’d really like to make them feel special, surprise them with a tray of their favorite breakfast foods. Two scrambled eggs, chopped berries, and a bit of yogurt would definitely do the trick.

12. Invest in a babysitter!

If you’ve got kids, I know life can get busy, but it’s in your best interest to find a way to have some alone time with the special person in your life. Can’t afford to hire a sitter? Ask a parent or trusted friend to watch your Mini-Me in exchange for a thoughtful favor tailored to their needs. For example, if you have a friend who hates cleaning, offer to come over and get things organized in exchange for a night of sitting. Sounds fair to me!

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13. Snuggle.

Just do it, trust me.

14. Be mindful of your partner’s interests.

Fellas: I know you might not be that into romantic movies, but if your partner really wants to go see one, it will mean the world to her. It’s just two hours and you will survive, I promise!

Ladies: Your man and his love of wrestling, Nascar, or whatever the case may be? Same goes for you!

15. Go to a movie (but don’t actually watch it).

Go to a movie together and make-out like love-struck high school teenagers. I wouldn’t advise this if you’re going to see Schindler’s List, but otherwise it’ll be tons of fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqaQA9GmaUk

16. “How was your day?”

Ask that simple question when your partner gets home from work to show them how much you care.

17. Focus!

Put down the phone, turn off the TV, make eye contact, and say, “What would you like to talk about?” Just because you’re hearing your partner’s words doesn’t mean you’re comprehending them. Taking a brief moment to do this will make them feel loved and important.

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18. Blast from the past.

If you’ve been together for a long time, think about some of the special places you went to in the early days of your relationship and revisit them in the present. I wager you’ll both be flooded by long-forgotten memories when you get there.

19. Why so serious?

Have tickle fights, go to a comedy club, make-out in a photo booth. Life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time, and laughter will help you grow closer to the person you love.

20. Before you go to work…

Tell your partner that you can’t wait to see them when you get back and give them a quick kiss.

21. Look at the stars.

Grab a blanket, a bottle of wine, and the hand of your dearest. Lay under the stars, relax, look at the constellations, have a drink, and talk about life.

22. Take up a hobby.

Dance class? Crafting? Gardening? Acting? A new language? Pick your pleasure. Figure out a hobby both you and your partner would enjoy and pursue it together to strengthen your relationship.

23. Ride a ferris wheel.

And don’t forget to get some cotton candy when you’re done!

24. Dress up.

Remember how when you were first dating and you spent hours agonizing over what you should wear? I’m not saying you have to take it to that extent, but some people do tend to let their style go downhill if they get too comfortable in a relationship. Turn the tables by dressing up as if it is your very first date together and you want to be certain you WOW them as much as possible.

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25. Schedule a “play” date.

Have kids? It might be tough the find the time for intimacy, so plan to get a sitter one-day-per-week so you can have some alone time with your partner. Go out on a date and then come home, where the real fun begins. I know scheduling might not sound sexy in theory but it is in practice, and believe me, there’s nothing like a little anticipation to spice up your love life.

26. Have a friendly competition.

Bowling, putt-putt, darts, pool, or even the Nintendo Wii all apply. Make a bet with your partner: the loser gives a full body massage to the winner.

27. Surprise your love with a thoughtful gift.

I’m not talking about the obvious occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s, and so on — and I’m not suggesting you need to empty your bank account either. But surprise your partner with a little gift that will be meaningful for them when they least expect it if you want to brighten their day! Or, if you’d rather surprise your partner with a fun adventure, check out these 15 surprising romantic date ideas.

28. Hold hands and go on a stroll.

Enjoy each other’s presence in silence and be happy that you have such a special person in your life.

29. This.

30. Be creative.

The other 29 tips should give you some inspiration that will help you be more romantic, but no one knows your partner better than you do. What makes him tick? What does she adore? How can you make their day and show them how much you care? Tell me in the comments (but more importantly, show them today!). 

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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