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You’re More Lovable If You Know How To Love Yourself

You’re More Lovable If You Know How To Love Yourself

We’ve always been told that in order to love someone else we must first learn to love ourselves. It’s so important to be able to establish a close bond with the most important person in your life – you. How you view and see yourself ultimately reflects in everything that you do and every relationship that you have. Self-love is when you find such peace in the deepest part of your being, and you genuinely enjoy being in your own company. I don’t think that many people know what it truly means to “love themselves” so I’m going to clarify exactly what I mean.

Be gentle with yourself

We tend to be our own best and unfortunately worst critics. We are often so hard on ourselves we forget to take a step back and give ourselves a little break. It is normal to feel sad, hurt and afraid. We shouldn’t be ashamed when these feelings arise and try to ignore them, or mask them with bad habits. Sometimes people think that these feelings are a sign of weakness, but in actuality they are a sign of strength. It’s very important to become mindful of this, and allow yourself to feel exactly what you are feeling. During times when you feel this way, remember that you are only human. Life is hard, but be gentle on yourself. You’re the only you out there.

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Let your experiences be as they are

Have you ever noticed that when you ignore your feelings or push them away they tend to come back with such intensity you almost cannot stand being in your own skin? It is overwhelming to feel unhappy feelings because they cause us to think and overthink. So instead, we somehow train our brains to completely push out those feelings so we don’t have to feel them.

Have you ever spoken to someone about a bad experience in their life that made them sad and hurt and they’ve said, “I don’t want to talk about it” or “I pretend it never happened”? This is a perfect example of someone who is not allowing themselves to feel the experience(s) for what it is or was. In the long run they are going to be causing themselves mountains and mountains of more pain. You must remember to feel your feelings as they come throughout every experience you have.

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Your feelings will tell you everything that you need to know in order to take care of yourself, you just have to listen to them.

You know how to make yourself happy

Nothing you do is defined by another person which is what makes your relationships so much more valuable and special. You don’t rely on your partner or anyone else for that matter to make YOU happy. You’re fine sitting at home on a Friday night in sweats watching TV all by yourself with a glass of wine and you are completely content.

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You’re independent and you move to the beat of your own drum. You don’t care if your partner goes out without you sometimes because you know you need that time alone for yourself anyway. You love having someone special in your life, but you know that they can only add value to your life because you are truly happy with who you are.

You appreciate your strengths

You’re mentally strong, compassionate, and you have the ability to be able to see things in a positive light. It’s one of your most valued strengths. In turn, this allows for you to see the positive qualities in others, especially your partner. You tend to notice the positive things about them rather than picking at their weaknesses.

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You know that sometimes you need help too

You recognize that everyone needs help sometimes and you aren’t afraid to ask for it. You also recognize the importance of making your partner feel needed in the relationship. If you can’t reach something on the top shelf in the pantry, you yell to your partner in the other room to come help you out. Same goes if you’re going through a rough time. You realize that you can’t always handle everything on your own and you have no problem leaning on your partner for love, help and support.

You don’t demand love & you realize you matter

Nowhere in your world do you demand to be loved or demand love in general. You know that love is give and take. You are selfless and give love to all of those around you. You’re so in tune with yourself and you find it easy to express how you’re feeling. You’re able to express yourself to your partner with ease. You know that your feelings matter, that you matter. You realize how vital this is for healthy communication with your partner.

It’s so important to realize the significance and importance of self-love. When you have learned to love yourself, you will notice how much easier it is for people to love you and for you to accept that love because well, you deserve it.

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Erica Wagner

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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