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You’re More Lovable If You Know How To Love Yourself

You’re More Lovable If You Know How To Love Yourself

We’ve always been told that in order to love someone else we must first learn to love ourselves. It’s so important to be able to establish a close bond with the most important person in your life – you. How you view and see yourself ultimately reflects in everything that you do and every relationship that you have. Self-love is when you find such peace in the deepest part of your being, and you genuinely enjoy being in your own company. I don’t think that many people know what it truly means to “love themselves” so I’m going to clarify exactly what I mean.

Be gentle with yourself

We tend to be our own best and unfortunately worst critics. We are often so hard on ourselves we forget to take a step back and give ourselves a little break. It is normal to feel sad, hurt and afraid. We shouldn’t be ashamed when these feelings arise and try to ignore them, or mask them with bad habits. Sometimes people think that these feelings are a sign of weakness, but in actuality they are a sign of strength. It’s very important to become mindful of this, and allow yourself to feel exactly what you are feeling. During times when you feel this way, remember that you are only human. Life is hard, but be gentle on yourself. You’re the only you out there.

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Let your experiences be as they are

Have you ever noticed that when you ignore your feelings or push them away they tend to come back with such intensity you almost cannot stand being in your own skin? It is overwhelming to feel unhappy feelings because they cause us to think and overthink. So instead, we somehow train our brains to completely push out those feelings so we don’t have to feel them.

Have you ever spoken to someone about a bad experience in their life that made them sad and hurt and they’ve said, “I don’t want to talk about it” or “I pretend it never happened”? This is a perfect example of someone who is not allowing themselves to feel the experience(s) for what it is or was. In the long run they are going to be causing themselves mountains and mountains of more pain. You must remember to feel your feelings as they come throughout every experience you have.

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Your feelings will tell you everything that you need to know in order to take care of yourself, you just have to listen to them.

You know how to make yourself happy

Nothing you do is defined by another person which is what makes your relationships so much more valuable and special. You don’t rely on your partner or anyone else for that matter to make YOU happy. You’re fine sitting at home on a Friday night in sweats watching TV all by yourself with a glass of wine and you are completely content.

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You’re independent and you move to the beat of your own drum. You don’t care if your partner goes out without you sometimes because you know you need that time alone for yourself anyway. You love having someone special in your life, but you know that they can only add value to your life because you are truly happy with who you are.

You appreciate your strengths

You’re mentally strong, compassionate, and you have the ability to be able to see things in a positive light. It’s one of your most valued strengths. In turn, this allows for you to see the positive qualities in others, especially your partner. You tend to notice the positive things about them rather than picking at their weaknesses.

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You know that sometimes you need help too

You recognize that everyone needs help sometimes and you aren’t afraid to ask for it. You also recognize the importance of making your partner feel needed in the relationship. If you can’t reach something on the top shelf in the pantry, you yell to your partner in the other room to come help you out. Same goes if you’re going through a rough time. You realize that you can’t always handle everything on your own and you have no problem leaning on your partner for love, help and support.

You don’t demand love & you realize you matter

Nowhere in your world do you demand to be loved or demand love in general. You know that love is give and take. You are selfless and give love to all of those around you. You’re so in tune with yourself and you find it easy to express how you’re feeling. You’re able to express yourself to your partner with ease. You know that your feelings matter, that you matter. You realize how vital this is for healthy communication with your partner.

It’s so important to realize the significance and importance of self-love. When you have learned to love yourself, you will notice how much easier it is for people to love you and for you to accept that love because well, you deserve it.

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Erica Wagner

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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