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9 Things You Can Do To Completely Unleash Your Potentials

9 Things You Can Do To Completely Unleash Your Potentials

You may realize it or not, but you were born with great gifts and talents. How do you use them for yourself and the good of others is the story of your life. Will you reach your potentials in this story? Let’s see what you can do to unleash it!

1. Observe your Feelings

Let’s face it – you are the only person in the world that knows what you feel. Others may guess, speculate or ask, but they never know for sure. Sometimes you are excited, worried, feel pain and sometimes you are bored to death and want to dissemble this fact. Take responsibility for your feelings and observe when you feel unusually high or low and think why.

Take a sheet of paper and list last week moments that energized you and depressed you. Every week you can make such list and take one step away from “depressors” towards “energizers”. This will unleash your potentials step by step.

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2. Make Personality Test(s)

Observing your feelings is a great way to realize your uniqueness and potentials, however there are also many personality tests available that may help you discover your natural gifts and talents. Try Strengthsfinder, Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, or others. The key is to find your strengths, something you can build on effectively.

3. Listen when People Praise your Talents

As theologian Frederick Buechner said: ”Your calling is where your passions meet the world’s needs.” When you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, it is a good moment to ask how you can apply them to the world around you.

It may be as simple as asking your friends and colleagues to list your five strengths and one weakness. The next key question you have to ask yourself is, how you can grow in these areas even further.

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4. Be Courageous

When facing death, people usually regret the things they did not do, rather than what they did. Life is full of challenges and fears, but you may ask yourself few questions: Will I regret not doing this when I am old? Will I remember this in 10 years from now? How much it matters for me? Will I be able to look in the mirror if I don’t do this?

It takes courage to unleash your potentials and without bold moves you may be just spinning in circles.

5. Set Challenging, but Achievable Goals

Settings goals is a great way to trigger action and motivate. It sets the direction, next steps, unclutter your mind. Challenging goals stimulate the flow experience that so many people want. As some people say “a life without challenge and risk is not worth living.” The key to unleash potentials is to set stimulating, challenging goals that are achievable and not overwhelming.

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You may write down the goal and read it aloud. If it didn’t move or empower you, you didn’t want to take an action or didn’t know what to do, you need a different goal!

6. Everyday make a Small Step

As Lao-Tzu said “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” You may travel from East to West Coast with a car by seeing just a few miles ahead at any specific moment. This is also true to unleash your potentials. Don’t think for too long – discover your strengths and weaknesses, find the world hunger you may feed, set challenging goals for them, but at the end, use every day to make just a small step towards it.

7. Work on your Habits

Every day we make hundreds and thousands decisions, but most of them subconsciously. All these small and big decisions sum up to your life. This is why working on habits is so important. You may turn negative patterns into positive, and learn how to be thankful, how to deal with stress, have healthy and inspiring relationships.

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They won’t change overnight, but once formed they will positively impact hundreds of your decisions later on.

8. Let go of Bitterness

One of the biggest contributors to not unleashing your potentials is resentment. As Malachy McCourt stated “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Do not let others steer your life into negative thinking. Past already happened, future is unsure, so focus on here and now. Don’t let the past define your future.

9. Be Thankful

Our sensitivity increases in direct proportion to the positive responses we give to our impressions. If you are thankful, your sensitivity to positive aspects of your life will grow. You will see more opportunities, you will relax, your relationships will flourish.

You are living the only life you have, I hope you will unleash your potentials completely! I believe if you realize what you have, recognize how you can use it, let go the negative past and build positive habits over the steps you are making every day, you can achieve great things.

If your life has given you some other lesson, please do not hesitate to share it with me!

More by this author

Piotr Nabielec

Author, CEO, Consultant

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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