Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 25, 2019

How to Find Purpose in Life and Make Yourself a Better Person

How to Find Purpose in Life and Make Yourself a Better Person

Some mornings, you may feel that there’s something deeper you could be a part of. You feel the pull towards something but you can’t exactly pin it down—it eludes you and frustrates you.

“What is my purpose in life?” You wonder.

You might have heard stories from writers or musicians who have felt their calling their entire lives; the Mozarts of the world who have pursued their passions from the moment they were out of the womb. Deep down you wish you had this “knowing” to pull you forward.

Frankly, you do: all it takes is a little digging to uncover the truth.

Think of uncovering your passion like the work of a master sculptor, slowly chipping away the stone to reveal the masterpiece underneath. Your life’s purpose is this masterpiece, simply lurking beneath the surface waiting to be released.

The fastest way about how to find purpose in life is through the art of introspection: diving into the deeper essences of who you are to pull out the pieces to assemble the purpose puzzle.

Think of your life’s purpose as a golden thread; for some, that thread comes in the form of a certain career or profession, while for others it looks like a way of being or expression.

Let’s use the analogy of an epic quest across the ocean to take you on your journey of uncovering your sense of purpose.

Why You Want This in the First Place?

Ultimately you’re trying to improve your life and live a meaningful life. You want more zest, more flavor, more fullness. In the strictest sense you want to become a better person. You want to wake up in the morning excited, jumping out of bed with a thirst for life that you haven’t felt since you were a child.

Advertising

Your purpose can be the driving force of this. Your purpose can be your connection to something larger, something that will allow you to make your mark on the world, to truly make a difference. Still, your WHY might be different. Before we even leave solid ground you need this as your anchor, just in case things get a little foggy. To find it just answer this question:

Why do you want to find your purpose in life?

Write down or remember whatever comes up. It might be some of the above reasons or it might be something entirely different. Whatever it is cherish it, nothing is too far left field.

The Tools for Your Journey

Before any great adventure, you want to make sure your tools and supplies are in working order. For this quest the tools are simple: You’ll need a pen and piece of paper, a working memory, and the drive to uncover what you set out to find. That’s it—you’re ready to set off.

Before we go, there are a few things you’ll need to embrace beforehand. Think of these items as the underlying code of conduct for your journey.

  1. I welcome the hard work and tiresome effort it will take to unearth my life’s great work.
  2. I know my purpose might not be directly obvious, but I will put in the time to find it.
  3. I believe finding my purpose is entirely possible.
  4. I know that finding my life’s purpose may lead to some drastic (positive) changes.
  5. I know that finding my life’s purpose will leave me with the power to shape my own destiny.

Once you’ve let the above affirmations settle, you’re ready to free your ship from the dock and set sail. Your tools are sharpened and your mind is prepped: congratulations! You’ve come farther than most people ever do.

Slaying the Inner Dragons

When you first set sail into uncharted waters there will be an initial resistance; a pervading fear, a fear of the unknown. If you feel this, great: you’re human.

The first dragon you might face will likely be your internal beliefs. They might try to stop you in your tracks, or tell you you’re crazy for trying to find your purpose in the first place. They might say harsh things like “you don’t deserve to have a purpose”, or “you’ll never find what you’re looking for”. What you have to know is that this inner dialogue isn’t true—it’s more afraid than you are. Its main goal is to keep you comfortable.

To combat your inner dialogue you have to first realize it’s happening. When you start to actually pay attention to the thoughts as they’re spiralling  then they lose their power. They get their evil force by operating below the scenes, so when you shine a spotlight of awareness upon them they lose their control over you.

Advertising

Once you’re familiar with these inner dragons it will be easier to slay them.

Next, you have to swing your sword of action. The best way to stop these beliefs from stopping your journey before it begins is to study them. To know them inside and out, and to act in spite of them when they occur. That way you build power: true soul-baring force.

Try this on for size: When you’ve come across a belief that is threatening to stop your journey, take a breath and look it square in the eye, then act anyway. You’ll know what actions to take after the next section, so hold tight. Just know that you’re going to act in spite.

This will teach you to develop your courage muscle, and its heart-centered courage will give you something to lean on throughout your uncertain quest.

To re-cap, when a limiting belief comes your way like “I don’t deserve to know my purpose” you’ll first shine your light of awareness on the belief, look it square in the face, then take action right over it.

Questions for the Great Dig

Now that you know why you’re doing this and how to overcome any hurdle, you’re ready for the turbulent seas. You’re preparation is done, the shore is now out of sight. All that remains is you and the seas of your soul.

Get ready to dive deep. Keep in mind that we’re going to analyze common threads in your life and the deep desires you have currently to give you a one two punch to finding your purpose.

Step 1: The Soul-Baring Questions

If you had all the money in the world, how would you spend your time?

What would your perfect day look like? Describe every detail.

Advertising

What activities set your soul on fire?

What do you love to do?

These should be enough to get you going. Don’t be afraid to dive deep with these questions, and write down whatever comes to mind.

Make sure you create some space to ponder these questions. Nothing is too outlandish, so do your best to turn off your mental filter. The best answers will come when you can turn off your self-judgement.

Once you have these answers in hand, we’re going to take a little stroll back into your memory to dig up some more answers.

When you’re a child, your life experience is more freeing, playful, and alive. Your whims direct your life and you’re more plugged into a deeper current. At this stage in your life, the outside world hasn’t shaped you dreams yet, you have direct access to your passions and purposes.

We all had things we loved to do as kids but ended up giving them up for the sake of practicality. What we’re going to do here is take a stroll through your memory banks and try to gain some glimpses of this childhood wisdom.

Step 2: Connect with Your Inner Child

What brought you immense joy as a kid?

What were you doing when you lost track of time?

Advertising

What did your parents have to drag you away from?

What did you love deep down before the world told you to get practical?

Once again, keep your mind in an open place. If you’re having trouble, it may help to look at a picture of yourself when you were younger, or grab an old stuffed animal or other item that sends you back into the memory banks.

Write to your heart’s contenteven use crayons if you have to!

Building Your Golden Thread

Now that you’ve braved the epic seas, the other shoreline is in sight. The last stretch of the journey is to string all the bits of randomness together and find the common themes. The digging is done—great work.

Your job now is to take a hard look at all your answers, and see if you can pull out any common ideas that are in both lists.

Maybe you’ve wanted be a writer since you were a child, and committing words to a page every day really sets your soul on fire. There’s a good chance that writing may be involved in your life’s purpose.

Maybe you’ve always been fascinated by the stars and the cosmos, reading textbooks on the subject in your spare time, and you’ve always had a deep connection to spending time outdoors. You could combine this into an excursion where you lead groups of people into the wild to stargaze and contemplate their place in the universe.

Let your creativity reign, and don’t fret if you can’t make a connection right away. Sometimes, it helps to sleep on it and let your subconscious work on the solution for you.

If you’ve done the work, then you’re on your way to finding your life’s purpose. When it’s there, you’ll feel it deep down in your bones.

More About Purpose of Life

Featured photo credit: Burst via unsplash.com

More by this author

Kevin Wood

Kevin Wood is a passionate writer who shares mental and spiritual advice on Lifehack.

How to Find Purpose in Life and Make Yourself a Better Person 7 Ways To Open Your Heart to The World 5 Simple Tips to Meditate Like a Monk The Minimalist Guide to Creativity Think Like A Genius: How Cleverness Can Save Your Life

Trending in Lifestyle

1 10 Comics About Periods That Only Women Would Understand 2 10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today 3 7 Best Tea for Bloating and Stomach Gas Relief 4 How to Learn Something New Every Day and Stay Smart 5 How to Enjoy Life In a Way Most People Don’t

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 2, 2019

10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

Plato knew that the body and mind are intimately linked. And in the late 1800s, the Mayo brothers, famous physicians, estimated that over half of all hospital beds are filled with people suffering from frustration, anxiety, worry and despair. Causes of worry are everywhere, in our relationships and our jobs, so it’s key we find ways to take charge of the stress.

In his classic book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie offers tools to ditch excessive worrying that help you make a worry-free environment for your private and professional life.

These are the top 10 tips to grab worry by the horns and wrestle it to the ground:

1. Make Your Decision and Never Look Back

Have you ever made a decision in life only to second-guess it afterwards? Of course you have! It’s hard not to wonder whether you’ve done the right thing and whether there might still be time to take another path.

But keep this in mind: you’ve already made your decision, so act decisively on it and dismiss all your anxiety about it.

Don’t stop to hesitate, to reconsider, or to retrace your steps. Once you’ve chosen a course of action, stick to it and never waver.

Advertising

2. Live for Today, Package Things up in “Day-Tight Compartments”

You know that feeling: tossing, turning and worrying over something that happened or something that might, well into the wee hours. To avoid this pointless worrying, you need “day-tight compartments”. Much as a ship has different watertight compartments, your own “day-tight” ones are a way to limit your attention to the present day.

The rule is simple: whatever happened in the past or might happen in the future must not intrude upon today. Everything else has to wait its turn for tomorrow’s box or stay stuck in the past.

3. Embrace the Worst-Case Scenario and Strategize to Offset It

If you’re worried about something, ask yourself: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Could you lose your job? Be jailed? Get killed?

Whatever the “worst” might be, it’s probably not so world-ending. You could probably even bounce back from it!

If, for example, you lose your job, you could always find another. Once you accept the worst-case scenario and get thinking about contingency plans, you’ll feel calmer.

4. Put a Lid on Your Worrying

Sometimes we stress endlessly about negative experiences when just walking away from them would serve us far better.

Advertising

To make squashing that worry easier, try this strategy, straight from stock traders: it’s called the “stop-loss” order, where shares are bought at a certain price, and then their price development is observed. If things go badly and the share price hits a certain point, they are sold off immediately. This stops the loss from increasing further.

In the same manner, you can put a stop-loss order on things that cause you stress and grief.

5. Fake It ‘Til You Make It – Happiness, That Is

We can’t directly influence how we feel, but we can nudge ourselves to change through how we think and act.

If you’re feeling sad or low, slap a big grin on your face and whistle a chipper tune. You’ll find it impossible to be blue when acting cheerful. But you don’t necessarily need to act outwardly happy; you can simply think happier thoughts instead.

Marcus Aurelius summed it up aptly:

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”

6. Give for the Joy of Giving

When we perform acts of kindness, we often do so with the expectation of gratitude. But harboring such expectations will probably leave you disappointed.

One person well aware of this fact was the lawyer Samuel Leibowitz. Over the course of his career, Leibowitz saved 78 people from going to the electric chair. Guess how many thanked him? None.

So stop expecting gratitude when you’re kind to someone. Instead, take joy from the act yourself.

7. Dump Envy – Enjoy Being Uniquely You

Your genes are completely unique. Even if someone had the same parents as you, the likelihood of someone identical to you being born is just one in 300,000 billion.

Despite this amazing fact, many of us long to be someone else, thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But living your life this way is pointless. Embrace your uniqueness and get comfortable with who you really are: How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

8. Haters Will Hate — It Just Means You’re Doing It Right

When you’re criticized, it often means you’re accomplishing something noteworthy. In fact, let’s take it a step further and consider this: the more you’re criticized, the more influential and important a person you likely are.

Advertising

So the next time somebody talks you down, don’t let it get to you. Take it as a compliment!

9. Chill Out! Learn to Rest Before You Get Tired

Scientists agree that emotions are the most common cause of fatigue. And it works the other way around, too: fatigue produces more worries and negative emotions.

It should be clear, therefore, that you’ve got to relax regularly before you feel tired. Otherwise, worries and fatigue will accumulate on top of each other.

It’s impossible to worry when you are relaxed, and regular rest helps you maintain your ability to work effectively.

10. Get Organized and Enjoy Your Work

There are few greater sources of misery in life than having to work, day in, day out, in a job you despise. It would make sense then that you shouldn’t pick a job you hate, or even just dislike doing.

But say you already have a job. How can you make it more enjoyable and worry-free? One way is to stay organized: a desk full of unanswered mails and memos is sure to breed worries.

Advertising

Better yet, rethink about the job you’re doing: What to Do When You Hate Your Job but Want a Successful Career

More About Living a Fulfilling Life

Featured photo credit: Tyler Nix via unsplash.com

Read Next