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55 Ways to Make Peace of Mind Right Now

55 Ways to Make Peace of Mind Right Now

Do you need more effective ways to make peace of mind?

If not, you are in the minority, as most people live so stressed out that they have forgotten what peace of mind feels like.

I’m not joking.  American Psychological Association research suggests that 77% of people have physical symptoms associated with chronic stress. When chronic stress begins to manifest physical symptoms, peace of mind is a world away.

We need to get back to basics. Our top priority should be living with an abiding sense of inward calm. We need to learn what to do to consciously create peace of mind.

Toward this end, I’m offering the following list of ways to make inner peace quickly. I created the list myself and filled it with things you can do, inwardly and outwardly, that naturally bring peace of mind.

Everything on the list is simple and easy to do, although many of the items are psychologically profound and backed by research. Enjoy!

55 Ways to Get Peace of Mind Right Now

1. Breathe in four counts, hold your breath four counts, and exhale four counts. Repeat.

2. Take a pen and write out your thoughts until you go blank.

3. List three unrealistic expectations and let one of them go.

4. Accept that life is difficult.

5. Commit to putting forth your very best effort today, tomorrow, and forever.

6. Write down your top 3 greatest blessings in life.

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7. Tell a friend or loved one how much he or she means to you.

8. Sit on your porch, do nothing, and resolve to do it more often.

9. Give yourself permission to do nothing for a while.

10. Stare at clouds for a few minutes.

11. Float above your life in your mind’s eye.

12. Expand your physical vision to include the periphery, and just notice everything for a few minutes.

13. Give five bucks to a charity.

14. Imagine a protective bubble all around you.

15. Place your hand over your heart and feel it beat. Be glad to be alive.

16. Dry skin brush!

17. Make a choice to have a positive attitude, no matter what, for the rest of the day.

18. Be grateful that you don’t always get what you want.

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19. Think about what you would do with your life if you knew you’d never be rich.

20. Let your body do whatever it wants for a minute (nothing illegal, please).

21. Smell a fresh flower, deeply.

22. Listen to your inner critic as if you were best friends.

23. Notice where you are holding tension in your body, make it more tense, and then relax.

24. Tap on your upper check bone for a few seconds (either side).

25. Go outside and touch something 100% natural. Really feel the texture.

26. Look around you and quietly label each object you see. Realize how simple things really are.

27. Smile the goofiest smile in the world, imagining how you look.

28. Think of a difficult problem while listening to inner clown music.

29. Ground yourself. Imagine roots extending beneath your feet to the center of the earth. You are connected to the planet.

30. Hum a deep, slow hummmmmmm….

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31. Give yourself a scalp massage with all 10 fingers and really feel it.

32. Realize you will always possess your greatest personal strength.

33. Count from 10 backwards to 1, hearing an imaginary echo after each count.

34. Feel the bare earth beneath your feet and realize it is holding you.

35. Practice thought labeling: say to yourself, “I am having the thought….” Wait for a thought. Repeat. (This is my personal favorite peace of mind technique.)

36. Resolve to stop fixing other people.

37. Stop pretending you don’t care what other people think!

38. Decide to say no.

39. Decide to make others earn your trust.

40. Write a list of every problem that worries you. Then, filter out the ones that aren’t really your responsibility or under your control.

41. Hydrate (dehydration causes stress).

42. Choose to live within your means.

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43. Understand the difference between your wants and needs.

44. Sincerely apologize to (you know who).

45. Ponder the vastness of the universe and realize how small your troubles are.

46. Give up the pursuit of that quick fix for a challenging problem and commit to solving it at a deeper level.
 (46. Give up that get-rich-quick scheme, too.)

47. Spend some no-agenda time with a child.

48. Listen to white noise and notice how relaxing it is.

49. Write down the best piece of advice you have ever gotten and apply it.

50.  Brush your dog.

51. Close your eyes and allow the sunshine to warm your eyelids.

52. Give yourself the freedom to admit when you’re wrong.

53. Look at other people and realize they are people just like you — with their own hopes, dreams, fears, and struggles.

54. Accept that there will always be someone richer, smarter, and more X….

55. Decide to save money for the rest of your life.

Do you have a favorite peace of mind tip? Share it in the comments!

More by this author

Mike Bundrant

Co-Founder @inlpcenter, which offers NLP training and life coach certification to students in over 70 countries.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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