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Published on June 21, 2018

How Relaxing Music for Kids Can Help ADHD (+ Music Recommendations)

How Relaxing Music for Kids Can Help ADHD (+ Music Recommendations)

Think about it, that adrenalin-pumping playlist on your iPod motivates us to keep going with our workout far more effectively than any fitness coach; whilst that mix of soft, gentle piano music can really help us unwind after a long, tiring day. No matter what’s going on in our lives, it’s rare to find a situation that the right kind of music can’t instantly improve.

But what does any of this have to do with ADHD?

Just as music can drive us to work harder in the gym or help us unwind, choosing the right relaxing music for kids can prove to be a powerful tool for helping them to feel calm, focused and relaxed, even in situations where their ADHD is usually at its most prevalent.

Why medication isn’t always the solution

For our kids, living with ADHD can turn what would otherwise be simple, short tasks into spiralling, marathon ordeals in which they’re constantly drawn this way and that by a constant deluge of distractions and stimuli.

As we all know, the most commonly prescribed solution is medication, though that’s rarely the perfect answer to the complex and variegated puzzle that is ADHD.

For some parents, it could simply be a moral objection to medicating their children. For others, it could be that their child’s particular traits don’t quite tick the necessary boxes to qualify for medication; whilst for others yet, it could simply be that their current prescription doesn’t quite cut it when helping their young ones enjoy the kind of calm focus needed to complete tasks such as homework or defined activities.

Whatever the case may be, this is where music comes into its own.

The dopamine effect

Whilst numerous studies over the years have indicated a strong link between certain types of music and improved focus, particularly in children, what few of those studies particularly agree on is the exact reason why.

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That being said, there are two reasons which appear to make the most sense.

The first is that listening to music can increase our levels of dopamine, the “happy chemical” which helps with focus and paying attention which is deficient in many people with ADHD.[1] By naturally increasing our children’s dopamine levels, we naturally help increase their level of focus.

The second is the idea that we all have two distinct ways that we pay attention.

Conscious vs. Unconscious attention

In 2013, a scientific study was published noting the distinction between Dorsal and Ventral attention systems, more commonly referred to since as conscious and unconscious attention systems.[2]

The study looked at how our conscious attention system is used to focus our attention on the things that we actually want to focus on. For example, you’re using your conscious attention span right now to read this article. Meanwhile, your unconscious attention system remains alert in the background, scanning for anything that might be important and shifting attention to it.

That’s why even though you’re focusing on reading this article, you’re still likely to be distracted if someone enters the room or moves around behind you.

Like many things, this is likely to be a gift left behind in our DNA from our ancestors who would need to focus on particular tasks like hunting and preparing food whilst being ever mindful of the persistent dangers presented by their environment.

Just because our environment today is far less dangerous doesn’t mean our unconscious attention system ever switches off. It keeps working, zoning in on anything from a noise somewhere in the house that startles us to a co-worker eating so loudly at their desk that the sound of them devouring lunch completely distracts us from working.

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In children with ADHD, this unconscious attention system is constantly on the go, alerting them to any number of potential distractions and proving far more effective at demanding their attention when the task they’re attempting to use their conscious attention system isn’t the most exciting thing in the world.

How music helps children with ADHD to focus

This is where music really comes into its own. Along with increasing dopamine levels, it also gives the unconscious attention system something to focus on, thus negating its ability to distract.

Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that any music will do.

Pop the latest Katy Perry record on as your kids are trying to get their homework done or subject them to a blast of Metallica, and you’re highly unlikely to get the results you’re after.

The right notes

As we all know, we all feel differently depending on the type of music we listen to. Something upbeat, funky and lively makes us want to jump out of our seats and dance around.

Something slow, sad and dark makes us feel a little melancholy, whilst a pummeling rock song might make our adrenalin soar.

So when it comes to choosing relaxing music for kids, it has to be the right type. Chose something fairly monotonous, like generic white noise is unlikely to have much effect.

Choose something too energetic like pop or rock music, and your children are more likely to want to get up and move around. This is great if you want to motivate them to exercise but not so much if you’re trying to help them focus.

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It’s also worth noting that music with lyrics can be equally as distracting, the singing or rapping being picked up by the conscious attention system instead of serving as something to neutralise the unconscious system.

So, that’s all the types of music that *don’t* work, what about those that do?

Most experts recommend instrumental music, particularly classical, though various types of electronic and ambient music can also work pretty well.

Recommended relaxing music for kids to help with ADHD

The good news is that the web is full of relaxing music playlists that you can use to help your children focus, and many of them are available for free.

Below, we’ll look at just five really good options you can start with, though in time you may find it more helpful to play around with songs, soundtracks and soundscapes to discover which ones your child responds to best, and create your own playlists based on those.

Happy relaxing guitar music for children

Popular Youtube channel OCB (One Conscious Breath) Relaxing Music offers a variety of relaxing soundtracks for children and grown-ups alike but we find this light, airy, acoustic-guitar-based video really works wonders in creating a gentle, relaxed environment conducive to improving focus.

Plus, it sounds all kinds of cheerful, thus increasing those all-important dopamine levels that can make all the difference to children with ADHD.

Classical music for kids

Available on Spotify, this carefully-selected playlist combines no less than 57 classical music tracks that serve as the perfect background soundtrack.

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Ranging from the delightfully uplifting to the peaceful aspects of the classical world, this rousing collection is particularly effective for helping to motivate our kids as well as help them focus.

Relaxing classical music

Speaking of all things classical, this is a 67 song playlist, again from Spotify which gently fades into the background, blocking out distractions as our kids’ conscious attention systems begin to work at their optimum best.

Peaceful, creative focus music

Jason Stephenson has amassed over 800,00 YouTube subscribers thanks to his vast array of guided meditations and musical collections designed to aid everything from getting a good night’s sleep to improving productivity.

Among all of his videos, this delicate combination of violin, piano, tympani drum, and bass proves to be particularly effective for engaging with reading, completing homework, or carrying out creative tasks.

Relaxing guitar music

As with many of the creators featured on our list, YellowBrickCinema are well worth checking out in more detail thanks to their large number of videos and playlists combining some of the most relaxing music on the Internet.

This three-hour video, full of gentle, intertwining acoustic guitars is so perfectly peaceful and soothing that it works just as effectively in helping our children study as it does in helping us to relax and unwind after we’ve put them to bed.

Happy instrumental music for kids in the classroom

Last but not least, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention this one; an hour of stirring, uplifting background music specifically chosen for its effectiveness in improving focus and concentration and ensuring that ADHD needn’t be a barrier to our children’s success.

If you want to help your kids focus, try the above music with them. Soon you’ll find them feeling calm and more willing to focus on what’s on their hands.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Chris Skoyles

Writer, coach, and trainee counsellor specialising in mental health and addiction.

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Published on September 21, 2018

11 Smart Pieces of Advice to Help You Thrive as a Single Mother

11 Smart Pieces of Advice to Help You Thrive as a Single Mother

Becoming a mother is one of the most difficult challenges a woman can take on in her life. Whether this happens the “natural” way, with the help of science, or through adoption, being in charge of nurturing another human being is a herculean task to take on.

Typically, when we think about parenthood, we imagine two parents sharing the responsibility and having each other to lean on. However, according to the 2016 U.S. Census Bureau, 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 are being raised by a single mother.[1] This is a significant portion of the population that often gets overlooked.

If you are one of these mothers raising your children on your own, you are undoubtedly aware of the additional challenges that motherhood has placed upon you, including the constant struggle to find sufficient time, energy, money, and support.

For single mothers who find themselves bogged down by their daily responsibilities and struggle to stay afloat, don’t be fooled by the belief that you have to do all. It is possible to thrive and live as a single mother if you take advantage of all available resources and adjust your priorities based on your situation.

1. Find your community and ask for help

As the sole caretaker of your kids, going through the successes and struggles of parenthood can feel isolating and lonely. You have probably developed a strong sense of independence because you’ve had to go at it alone.

Being self-reliant is necessary in many situations that you have to face, but do not fool yourself into thinking that you don’t need support from others. If you have family nearby, strengthen your relationship with them by visiting and talking more often. Find time to catch up with old friends or co-workers, and don’t assume they don’t want to hang out if they are not parents themselves.

Would you prefer finding mom friends[2] who have more in common with you? Use resources like apps, Facebook groups, and community events to meet local moms in your area.

After you have established a support group that you can depend on, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It is NOT a sign of weakness or incompetency to admit you can’t do it all, and others are probably more willing to lend a hand than you think.

If you feel uncomfortable burdening others, suggest trading favors such as taking turns babysitting. Because after all, helping is each other is what community is all about.

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2. Make peace with the past

Before you can move forward, you must make peace with your past and not let it define you or rule your life. Whether your journey to single motherhood was through divorce, death, or never having a relationship the father, it is crucial that you leave behind the feelings of abandonment or betrayal you may be struggling with.

You cannot change the past and the hurt you had to endure, but you can use the strength that you gained from overcoming those obstacles to work towards making the best life for yourself and your child. Learn from the past but live in the present and look towards the future.

3. Make plans and set goals

The daily repetition of trying to balance work and home life can make you feel like you are on operating on autopilot. However, it is imperative to set goals for yourself and to keep working towards self-improvement.

In your personal life, you can set a fitness goal (train for a 5k), a reading goal (read 20 books in a year), or a travel goal (take a trip to Europe). At your job, you can set career goals such as gain leadership experience, get a promotion, or earn a degree or certificate.

Spend time creating a realistic plan to on how you can go about achieving these goals. Not only will working towards these goals make you a more well-rounded and successful person, they will bring more purpose and fulfillment to your life.

4. Look for role models

A great way to jump start your plans for the future is to find a role model or mentor who is further along in their life or career experience. This person can be a great resource when you need guidance on what types of goals to set for yourself and how to achieve them.

It’s also important to have people to turn to for encouragement during difficult seasons of life. Someone who has been through it before can provide the most genuine reassurance that tough times will get better and that staying positive is best approach.

5. Rethink your priorities

Single parents have twice as many responsibilities to take care of, so priorities and expectations must be adjusted accordingly.

Know that you are not superwoman and striving for a perfectly clean home, no dirty laundry, and home-cooked meals for your kids every day is not a reasonable expectation. It’s okay to take shortcuts sometimes, like serving your kids cereal for dinner or waiting until the next day to wash the dishes.

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Don’t compare yourself to anyone else and let go of the guilt that you feel for being the only parent that your kids can count on. Give yourself a break and don’t sweat the small stuff.

6. Make time for me time

Even though it can be difficult to find, making time for yourself is critical to maintaining your sanity and well-being. Without a built-in partner to take over, finding time to be away from the kids must be done intentionally and planned in advance.

If you are sharing custody, use the time away from your kids not only doing productive things but also making sure you are taking care of yourself. Sleep, exercise, and balanced diet are not things that can get pushed to the bottom of the priority list. Also make time for fun activities, such as hobbies and creative outlets.

Even though being a mother is the most important job you have, don’t let it be the only thing that defines you. Time for yourself is more difficult to find if you are the sole caretaker of your kids.

Use the resources that you have to devote time to self-care, and you and your kids will thank you for it in the long run.

7. Stay organized

With so many things to juggle, great organizational skills are an absolute must in order to keep everything moving smoothly. Use apps such as Mint for your finances, Mealime for meal planning, and Cozi as a family organizer for everything from appointments and shopping lists to after school activities.

Maintain constant contact if you are sharing custody so that it is clearly communicated who will be responsible for what when it comes to your kids. Follow consistent routines in the morning and nighttime so that your kids also know what to expect on a daily basis.

8. Be flexible (Don’t be a control freak)

Although it is important to be prepared and stay organized, things don’t always go according to plan.

When kids get sick and have to stay home or babysitters cancel at the last minute, allow for flexibility by having a contingency plan for childcare and with your employer.

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For example, make a list of people you can call when you need last minute childcare, or talk to your boss in advance about working from home when emergencies come up.

Most of all, don’t let unexpected changes stress you out and ruin your day.

9. Learn to say no (Don’t feel guilty)

Single mothers have limitations in time, energy and resources that families with two parents wouldn’t be able to understand. Because of these circumstances, it’s important you let go of feelings of guilt and stop trying to do everything and be everywhere.

You don’t have to say yes to every single birthday party your child is invited to. Your kids don’t have to be involved in sports and extracurricular activities every night of the week.

Limit the things you do to only the ones that are the most enjoyable and meaningful for you and your family. Doing more things does not make you a better mother; simply a more tired one.

10. Live within your means

When you have to raise your family on a single income, budgeting and spending within your means becomes more important than ever.

If you have outstanding debt that is accruing interest, make it a priority to pay those off as soon as possible. Outlining a budget is the best way to visualize how much money is being spent every month on various things and what is left over.

Find ways to save money on the necessities by looking for sales at the grocery store, buying some things secondhand, planning out meals.

After the necessary bills are paid, determine how much can be spent on luxury items such as eating out, vacations, and going to the movies.

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Don’t let finances be a source of anxiety for you and your family. Keep your bank account in good shape while teaching your kids how to spend money responsibly at the same time.

11. Spend quality time with your kids

The time you spend with your kids is so precious and much more limited as a single mother. Make the time that you spend with your kids count.

Rather than sitting in front of the TV, take them on fun and budget-friendly outings to the park, the playground, or a museum. Use meal times as the perfect excuse to ask them about what they are learning in school and the friends they spend time with.

When your kids ask you to play with them, look at it as a privilege and an opportunity to bond with them, rather than a distraction or waste of time. Be present when you are with them, with no work or multitasking on your mind. Your relationship with your kids will absolutely reap the benefits.

Final thoughts

Being a single mother is not an easy job. That’s why it’s important to use all the resources available to you in order to make this job a little bit easier.

Using technology, an organization system and a supportive community are just a few examples of things you should utilize to your benefit. It’s also important to shift your mindset and be more practical when it comes to things like priorities and finances.

Most of all, don’t forget about your own self care. Only when you take care of yourself can you best take care of the people you love.

Single mothers are some of the most hard-working people out there, and you deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life.

Featured photo credit: Alvaro Reyes via unsplash.com

Reference

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