Advertising
Advertising

How Relaxing Music for Kids Can Help ADHD (+ Music Recommendations)

How Relaxing Music for Kids Can Help ADHD (+ Music Recommendations)

Think about it, that adrenalin-pumping playlist on your iPod motivates us to keep going with our workout far more effectively than any fitness coach; whilst that mix of soft, gentle piano music can really help us unwind after a long, tiring day. No matter what’s going on in our lives, it’s rare to find a situation that the right kind of music can’t instantly improve.

But what does any of this have to do with ADHD?

Just as music can drive us to work harder in the gym or help us unwind, choosing the right relaxing music for kids can prove to be a powerful tool for helping them to feel calm, focused and relaxed, even in situations where their ADHD is usually at its most prevalent.

Why medication isn’t always the solution

For our kids, living with ADHD can turn what would otherwise be simple, short tasks into spiralling, marathon ordeals in which they’re constantly drawn this way and that by a constant deluge of distractions and stimuli.

As we all know, the most commonly prescribed solution is medication, though that’s rarely the perfect answer to the complex and variegated puzzle that is ADHD.

For some parents, it could simply be a moral objection to medicating their children. For others, it could be that their child’s particular traits don’t quite tick the necessary boxes to qualify for medication; whilst for others yet, it could simply be that their current prescription doesn’t quite cut it when helping their young ones enjoy the kind of calm focus needed to complete tasks such as homework or defined activities.

Whatever the case may be, this is where music comes into its own.

The dopamine effect

Whilst numerous studies over the years have indicated a strong link between certain types of music and improved focus, particularly in children, what few of those studies particularly agree on is the exact reason why.

Advertising

That being said, there are two reasons which appear to make the most sense.

The first is that listening to music can increase our levels of dopamine, the “happy chemical” which helps with focus and paying attention which is deficient in many people with ADHD.[1] By naturally increasing our children’s dopamine levels, we naturally help increase their level of focus.

The second is the idea that we all have two distinct ways that we pay attention.

Conscious vs. Unconscious attention

In 2013, a scientific study was published noting the distinction between Dorsal and Ventral attention systems, more commonly referred to since as conscious and unconscious attention systems.[2]

The study looked at how our conscious attention system is used to focus our attention on the things that we actually want to focus on. For example, you’re using your conscious attention span right now to read this article. Meanwhile, your unconscious attention system remains alert in the background, scanning for anything that might be important and shifting attention to it.

That’s why even though you’re focusing on reading this article, you’re still likely to be distracted if someone enters the room or moves around behind you.

Like many things, this is likely to be a gift left behind in our DNA from our ancestors who would need to focus on particular tasks like hunting and preparing food whilst being ever mindful of the persistent dangers presented by their environment.

Just because our environment today is far less dangerous doesn’t mean our unconscious attention system ever switches off. It keeps working, zoning in on anything from a noise somewhere in the house that startles us to a co-worker eating so loudly at their desk that the sound of them devouring lunch completely distracts us from working.

Advertising

In children with ADHD, this unconscious attention system is constantly on the go, alerting them to any number of potential distractions and proving far more effective at demanding their attention when the task they’re attempting to use their conscious attention system isn’t the most exciting thing in the world.

How music helps children with ADHD to focus

This is where music really comes into its own. Along with increasing dopamine levels, it also gives the unconscious attention system something to focus on, thus negating its ability to distract.

Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that any music will do.

Pop the latest Katy Perry record on as your kids are trying to get their homework done or subject them to a blast of Metallica, and you’re highly unlikely to get the results you’re after.

The right notes

As we all know, we all feel differently depending on the type of music we listen to. Something upbeat, funky and lively makes us want to jump out of our seats and dance around.

Something slow, sad and dark makes us feel a little melancholy, whilst a pummeling rock song might make our adrenalin soar.

So when it comes to choosing relaxing music for kids, it has to be the right type. Chose something fairly monotonous, like generic white noise is unlikely to have much effect.

Choose something too energetic like pop or rock music, and your children are more likely to want to get up and move around. This is great if you want to motivate them to exercise but not so much if you’re trying to help them focus.

Advertising

It’s also worth noting that music with lyrics can be equally as distracting, the singing or rapping being picked up by the conscious attention system instead of serving as something to neutralise the unconscious system.

So, that’s all the types of music that *don’t* work, what about those that do?

Most experts recommend instrumental music, particularly classical, though various types of electronic and ambient music can also work pretty well.

Recommended relaxing music for kids to help with ADHD

The good news is that the web is full of relaxing music playlists that you can use to help your children focus, and many of them are available for free.

Below, we’ll look at just five really good options you can start with, though in time you may find it more helpful to play around with songs, soundtracks and soundscapes to discover which ones your child responds to best, and create your own playlists based on those.

Happy relaxing guitar music for children

Popular Youtube channel OCB (One Conscious Breath) Relaxing Music offers a variety of relaxing soundtracks for children and grown-ups alike but we find this light, airy, acoustic-guitar-based video really works wonders in creating a gentle, relaxed environment conducive to improving focus.

Plus, it sounds all kinds of cheerful, thus increasing those all-important dopamine levels that can make all the difference to children with ADHD.

Classical music for kids

Available on Spotify, this carefully-selected playlist combines no less than 57 classical music tracks that serve as the perfect background soundtrack.

Advertising

Ranging from the delightfully uplifting to the peaceful aspects of the classical world, this rousing collection is particularly effective for helping to motivate our kids as well as help them focus.

Relaxing classical music

Speaking of all things classical, this is a 67 song playlist, again from Spotify which gently fades into the background, blocking out distractions as our kids’ conscious attention systems begin to work at their optimum best.

Peaceful, creative focus music

Jason Stephenson has amassed over 800,00 YouTube subscribers thanks to his vast array of guided meditations and musical collections designed to aid everything from getting a good night’s sleep to improving productivity.

Among all of his videos, this delicate combination of violin, piano, tympani drum, and bass proves to be particularly effective for engaging with reading, completing homework, or carrying out creative tasks.

Relaxing guitar music

As with many of the creators featured on our list, YellowBrickCinema are well worth checking out in more detail thanks to their large number of videos and playlists combining some of the most relaxing music on the Internet.

This three-hour video, full of gentle, intertwining acoustic guitars is so perfectly peaceful and soothing that it works just as effectively in helping our children study as it does in helping us to relax and unwind after we’ve put them to bed.

Happy instrumental music for kids in the classroom

Last but not least, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention this one; an hour of stirring, uplifting background music specifically chosen for its effectiveness in improving focus and concentration and ensuring that ADHD needn’t be a barrier to our children’s success.

If you want to help your kids focus, try the above music with them. Soon you’ll find them feeling calm and more willing to focus on what’s on their hands.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Chris Skoyles

Coach, and trainee counsellor specializing in mental health and addiction.

15 Successful People with Autism Who Have Inspired Millions of People 15 Natural Insomnia Cures That You Haven’t Tried But Actually Work 10 Anxiety Relief Apps to Take the Edge Off When Stress Hits Hard 13 Ideas on How to Help Depression That Just Won’t Go Away How Relaxing Music for Kids Can Help ADHD (+ Music Recommendations)

Trending in Restore Energy

1 How to Sleep Through the Night and Get Good Rest 2 20 Best Guided Meditations for Sleep and Insomnia 3 How to Relieve Stress: 9 Quick Relaxation Techniques 4 13 Work Life Balance Tips for a Happy and Productive Life 5 7 Effective Ways to Cope with Stress

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on December 20, 2019

Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

Kate sits down to the dinner table and is eager to be a good girl and eat her dinner like her Mom and Dad want her to do. She is a sweet girl who wants the approval of her parents very much. It is not always easy though. During dinner, she stands up and starts to leave the table because she has to use the bathroom. Her Dad yells at her to sit back down. He tells her “we don’t just get up from the dinner table, we wait and ask to be excused after everyone is finished eating.” She begins to protest, wanting to explain that she needs to use the bathroom. Her father becomes more upset with her and yells at her that she is now talking back and she is not allowed to say another word at the dinner table until everyone is finished eating and then she can be excused.

Unfortunately for Kate, she can’t hold it, and she has a little accident because she is too fearful to say a word to her Dad. She doesn’t want to get yelled at anymore. She also knows that in her home, kids don’t have a say. What Mom and Dad say is like words carved into stone. They are strict beyond reason and they will not bend their rules. Therefore, Kate felt that she had no choice in the matter and when she could no longer hold it. There was nothing she could do about it.

Kate’s parents are an example of authoritarian parenting. They are strict, they are not emotionally engaged with their children, and they have very high expectations for their children. This type of parenting style leaves children feeling disconnected from their parents.

Kate wanted to communicate to her parents that she had to use the restroom, but she couldn’t even get her words out because her parents have such strict rules and demands of her. They did not care to hear what she had to say, because upholding their rules was more important to them. In their household, a child’s opinions and feelings do not matter.

This kind of strict parenting is not helpful for children. It can damage a child and leave them with low self-esteem, mental health issues, and doing poor academically among other problems cited by research in Parenting Science.[1]

What Does Authoritarian Parenting Look Like?

In the 1960’s, a researcher and theorist by the name of Baumrind established the well known theory of parenting styles. Those four parenting styles, which are well known today, are authoritarian, authoritative, passive, and neglectful. For proactive parents that are trying hard to be good parents, they will usually lean toward either authoritarian or authoritative.

Authoritarian parenting involves strict parenting and high expectations for children. This can sound reasonable and even like good parenting. However, the strict parenting is often characterized by lack of compassion toward the child, little to no flexibility in rules, and complete control sought over the child’s behavior.

Advertising

Parents who use this parenting style believe it is their job to control the will and behavior of their children. An article in Psychology Today explains how authoritarian parents operate:[2]

Authoritarian parents believe that children are, by nature, strong-willed and self-indulgent. They value obedience to higher authority as a virtue unto itself. Authoritarian parents see their primary job to be bending the will of the child to that of authority—the parent, the church, the teacher. Willfulness is seen to be the root of unhappiness, bad behavior, and sin. Thus, a loving parent is one who tries to break the will of the child.

For example, Jake has authoritarian parents. He wants to stay out past curfew on a school night because he has an opportunity to play in a jazz ensemble. He has been playing the saxophone for years and his ambition is to play in a college jazz ensemble.

With Jake still being in high school, his parents have a curfew. On school nights, it is 8:00 pm. This rule is instituted because his parents believe they need to ensure that Jake gets his school work done each night and that he needs to be well rested for school the next day. However, they don’t explain the why of their rules to him, they simply tell him that those are their rules. The jazz ensemble is practicing at 8:00 pm on a Thursday night and they have invited Jake to come play with them. It is a well known group and a huge opportunity for Jake.

Unfortunately, his parents say no. Their authoritarian parenting style is unwavering. He wants to discuss the opportunity and its importance, but his parents will not even entertain the conversation. They stop him mid-sentence and go over their rules again. There is no flexibility.

If Jake’s parents had been authoritative, they would have taken the time to hear out his case and would likely have granted him a later curfew for that one instance. They would see that, although they have a curfew, there are some instances when an opportunity is worth bending the rules. They would ask that he has his homework done before going to play with the group, and that he come home as soon as the practice was finished.

Authoritative parents have rules, but they are also flexible based on reasonable requests for exceptions. The authoritative parents are interested in how their children are thinking and feeling. Conversely, authoritarian parents are not likely to be interested in hearing their child’s thoughts and feelings, because they want to control the will of their child, not come to some middle ground.

Advertising

Here are some characteristics of authoritarian parenting:

  • They have strict rules that are unyielding and unwavering. This is often called “heavy handed parenting.”
  • They do not want input from the child about rules. They also feel that the child’s opinion does not matter, because they are the parent thus are the supreme authority over the child.
  • There are severe punishments when rules are broken.
  • There is an emotional disconnection between parent and child, because the parent is not interested in what the child thinks or feels. They are more interested in controlling the behavior of the child and having the child be compliant to their rules.
  • Children are expected to listen to their parents and follow the rules, there are no exceptions. A child that voices their objections will likely be punished for doing so.
  • The parents have high expectations, especially when it comes to compliance of their rules.
  • Parents expect that their child will be obedient and they do not need to explain the “why” of their rules and expectations. Compliance is expected out of sheer obedience, not because the child understands the reasons why the rules are set. Parents do not feel the need to explain why they set their rules.
  • There is a failure to have attached relationships between parent and child because of the overly dominant nature of authoritarian parents and their unwillingness to allow their children to have their own voice or free will.

Authoritarian parents are driven by a belief that they need to control their children. This means controlling their children’s behavior to an extreme. They are inflexible and don’t take into account the child’s desires, emotions, or well-being as being as important to enforcing rules to get the desired outcome. Authoritative parents on the other hand, seek to guide and direct their children instead of control. There is a distinction.

The Problems of Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting has many negative consequences to children. Children who are raised in homes with extreme authoritarian parenting are more likely to become dependent on drugs and alcohol, have lower academic performance, and increased mental health issues according to Parenting for Brain.[3] Children who are raised with authoritarian parents are also more likely to have lower self esteem, inability to make decisive choices, and have social skills that are lacking.

When a child is raised to be taught day in and day out that their voice does not matter, then that child will likely be ingrained with that belief. They will not value their own opinions because they have been taught that what they think does not matter and is of no value. This leads to poor self-esteem and low self-worth.

If a child doesn’t believe that their thoughts matter, then what they think about themselves overall is going to be affected. They will not think highly of themselves or believe that what they think, say, or do is of value. This will contribute to low self-esteem long term.

Social skills will suffer because a child who comes from an authoritarian home will be trained to believe that nobody wants to hear their opinion and that relationships are based on compliance.

For example, Judy is raised in an authoritarian home. She is now 18 years old and has her first boyfriend. Anytime that he asks something of her, even if she internally disagrees, she feels that she is supposed to comply and do what he says in order for him to like her and continue wanting to be with her.

Advertising

He wants to have sex. She does not feel that she is ready, but she will not voice this to her boyfriend because she doesn’t think that her opinion will matter or that he will want to listen to what she is feeling. She goes along with sex in their relationship to be compliant. She doesn’t want to be punished by disagreeing with not having sex. He says that they are ready for that next step in the relationship and she fears that the consequence of saying no would be that he ends the relationship.

Therefore, she doesn’t even voice her thoughts or feelings on the situation because she doesn’t think they have value or will be heard anyway.

She has been taught by her parents that her opinions and feelings don’t matter. She has learned from the past 18 years with her parents that what matters most is that she is compliant. She gets along with her parents best when she is doing exactly what they want her to do. This is why she feels the need to do the same with her boyfriend.

Going along with his decisions, being compliant, and not voicing her feelings will keep the relationship going and avoid conflict or punishment. The ultimate punishment in her mind would be that he ends the relationship.

With her opinions never being valued by those who she has loved the most (her parents), she has learned that she should not voice her opinion if she wants to keep the other person in the relationship happy. In her mind, because of how she has been raised, compliance overrides all else, and her opinion is meaningless.

However, her boyfriend is not her parents. He is understanding and would want to know how she feels. He wants a long term relationship with her and he loves her so much. His true desire is for her to be happy. He would never want her to have sex if she wasn’t feeling the same way that he was feeling. He would gladly wait and would want to hear what she thinks and feels about taking their relationship to the next level.

Authoritarian parenting methods can inflict great harm on a child. The child becomes emotionally damaged because they grow up believing that their opinions, thoughts, and feelings do not matter. Instead they are taught that compliance and being obedient supersedes all else.

Advertising

The Solution

The solution is to move from authoritarian parenting methods to authoritative parenting practices.

Authoritative parenting has been deemed as the best parenting method by researchers, according to Psychology Today. Parents who use authoritative parenting methods have rules for their children, but they are not looking for blind compliance. They recognize that having a relationship with their child is of great importance and therefore valuing the child’s voice, opinions, and thoughts is important.

Authoritative parents seek to guide and direct their children, but they do not seek to control the will of their child.

Parenting Coach Plan explains the foundation of authoritative parenting as the following:[4]

Authoritative parenting can be described as a style of parenting that combines firm limits and clear boundaries with fair and consistent discipline. Authoritative parents are also nurturing, highly-involved, and willing to speak openly with their child regarding expectations and the consequences for failing to meet those expectations. Rules are enforced and fair consequences are put in place for when those rules are broken.

Children raised in authoritative homes follow the rules because they understand the “why” of the rules. They are also bonded to their parents because they are able to talk to their parents openly. This bond helps nurture a positive home environment and a two-way relationship that can last a lifetime.

To learn more about how to be an authoritative parent and how to discipline a child using this parenting method, check out my article:

How to Discipline a Child (The Complete Guide for Different Ages)

Featured photo credit: Xavier Mouton Photographie via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next