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4 Common Issues People Have That Kill Their Great Potential

4 Common Issues People Have That Kill Their Great Potential

The sad truth about life is that most people never even come close to reaching their maximum potential. Yes, it is true that some people are born with greater advantages and a higher potential, but does that really matter if we are unable to come close to reaching our own? Often, it is difficult for us to see the issues within ourselves that are holding us back. True self-reflection is not easy, but if you are able to do so, you are already way ahead of others on your self-improvement journey. There are 4 common issues that most people have that are killing their great potential – can you honestly look within yourself to see if any of these apply to you?As Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

1. Always Comparing Yourself to Others

Humans are social animals and as such we are highly influenced by the society around us. Because of this, comparing ourselves to others is inevitable. While we will never be able to entirely free ourselves from this, we can take steps to minimize it and even use it in our favor.

The problem with always comparing ourselves to others is this: success is personal. Success means something different from one person to another. So while you may be envious of a wealthy friend, your friend might be envious of your success with personal relationships!

Another problem is that making an apples-to-apples comparison can be damaging for your self-worth. If you just managed to muster the self-discipline to train for and complete a 5K run, comparing yourself to your friend who runs full marathons every 3 months might cause you to question whether what you are doing is ‘worth it’ or whether you are any good at all.

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So what to do about it? The first step is to be clear in your goals and really think about what constitutes success to you. Don’t accept the standard definition. Secondly, when it comes to these apples-to-apples comparisons, use it as motivation instead. Tell yourself this: “Wow, if that person, who is human just like everybody else, can accomplish that, I can too!”

2. Lack of Self-Awareness

While this appears at number two on our list, in terms of importance, it really should be number one. You cannot begin to improve yourself if you don’t know what you need to improve upon in the first place.

The dilemma is this: how do you solve the problem of lacking self-awareness when you don’t realize that you lack self-awareness in the first place (because you lack self-awareness)? It’s an infinite loop.

Well, since you’re reading this article, begin right now by asking yourself: “What are the aspects of my actions and personality that need to change for me to get where I want to be?”

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And if you really are unable to determine what those aspects are, get a trusted friend and ask him or her for honest and critical feedback on how others perceive you. Tell them not to hold back and don’t be surprised when the answer is not exactly what you want to hear, which leads us to the third problem…

3. Being Unable to Take Feedback

Fact: no one likes being criticized. Criticisms, more often than not, are a stinging blow to our egos and self-image. The most common reaction to being criticized is being defensive; we attempt to rationalize away our errors to soothe our bruised egos.

However, if we never learn to take objective feedback and improve ourselves, we will never reach our full potential. Honest feedback lets us know where we are lacking and how we can improve. It is a gift to be appreciated and not an insult to be scorned.

Here’s the rub: there is a difference between criticism and feedback. While the line is often blurry, in general criticism tends to devalue which is why it often feels so personal, while feedback focuses on how you can improve. Unfortunately, as we go through life, we will find ourselves receiving just as much (if not more) criticism than feedback.

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There’s no way around this fact, all you can do when it comes to criticism is to look for the little nugget of objective feedback contained within it. Don’t get defensive, and don’t take it personally. Remember that harsh criticism often reveals more about the critic than you.

As Oscar Wilde says, “criticism is the only reliable form of autobiography.”

So the next time someone gives you criticism or feedback, ask yourself: “How can I use this to improve myself and bring myself closer to my goals?”

4. Fear of Failure

Have you heard of the term ‘loss aversion’? People would naturally prefer to avoid losses than to acquire gains. While this may have been a necessary trait back in our hunter-gatherer days, this no longer holds true today. Yet, this nature continues to prevent us from taking necessary action in our lives.

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Shame is also strongly linked to the fear of failure. Psychologist Michael Lewis has called it ‘the quintessential human emotion’. When we fail, we feel shame: shame at letting others down, shame at letting ourselves down, shame at not being good enough. So how do we avoid this feeling? By avoiding taking action of course!

There is no question that our fear of failure holds us back. We fear the consequences of failure. However, more often than not, the consequences of failure are not as drastic as you imagine. The actual consequences are exaggerated by the expectation of shame. Remember the saying, FEAR is nothing but False Evidence Appearing Real.

This is a reason why entrepreneurs are so idolized in modern society; we see these people bravely face the fear (and reality) of failure over and over again and still come back swinging and wish we could be the same way.

The good news is, you can! I am not telling you to leap in blindly, but rather to do a proper cost-benefit analysis of an action to determine its validity. Ask yourself this question: “Am I avoiding this action because of real consequences, or is it just my fear?” “Are the consequences of failure really as drastic as I am imagining them to be?”

The issues identified here are simple to explain, but not easy to fix. Nonetheless, we hope that by bringing some of them to light you will be better able to recognize these issues within yourselves and begin the process of overcoming them.

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Ian Lee

Freelance Writer for Hire

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Last Updated on September 24, 2020

17 Ways Learn New Skills Faster and Enjoy the Process

17 Ways Learn New Skills Faster and Enjoy the Process

In the movie The Matrix, everyone was intrigued with the ability that Neo and his friends possessed to learn new skills in a matter of seconds. With the incredible rise in technology today, the rapid learning in the movie is becoming much more of a reality than you realize.

The current generation has access to more knowledge and information than any before it. Through the internet, we are able to access all sorts of knowledge to answer almost every conceivable question. To become smarter, it’s more about the ability to learn faster, rather than being a natural born genius.

Here are 17 ways to kickstart your Matrix-style learning experience in a short amount of time.

1. Deconstruct and Reverse Engineer

Break down the skill that you want to learn into little pieces and learn techniques to master an isolated portion. The small pieces will come together to make up the whole skill.

For example, when you’re learning to play the guitar, learn how to press down a chord pattern with your fingers first without even trying to strum the chord. Once you are able to change between a couple of chord patterns, then add the strumming.

2. Use the Pareto Principle

Use the Pareto Principle, which is also known as the 80 20 rule. Identify the 20% of the work that will give you 80% of the results. Find out more about the 80 20 rule here: What Is the 80 20 Rule (And How to Use It to Boost Productivity)

Take learning a new language for example. It does not take long to realize that some words pop up over and over again as you’re learning. You can do a quick search for “most commonly used French words,” for example, and begin to learn them first before adding on the rest.

3. Make Stakes

Establish some sort of punishment for not learning the skill that you are seeking. There are sites available that allow you to make a donation toward a charity you absolutely hate if you do not meet your goals. Or you can place a bet with a friend to light that fire under you.

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However, keep in mind that several studies have shown that rewards tend to be more motivating than punishment[1].

4. Record Yourself

Seeing yourself on video is a great way to learn from your mistakes and identify areas that you need to improve. This is very effective for any musicians, actors, speakers, performers, and dancers.

5. Join a Group

There are huge benefits to learning in a group. Not only are you able to learn from others but you’ll be encouraged to make progress together. Whether it’s a chess club, a mastermind group, or an online meet-up group, get connected with other like-minded individuals.

6. Time Travel

Visit the library. Although everything is moving more and more online, there are still such things called libraries.

Whether it’s a municipal library or your university library, you will be amazed at some of the books available there that are not accessible online. Specifically, look for the hidden treasures and wisdom contained in the really old books.

7. Be a Chameleon

When you want to learn new skills, imitate your biggest idol. Watch a video and learn from seeing someone else do it. Participate in mimicry and copy what you see.

Studies have shown that, apart from learning,[2]

“Mimicry is an effective tool not only to create ties and social relationships, but also for maintaining them.”

Visual learning is a great way to speed up the learning process. YouTube has thousands of videos on almost every topic available.

8. Focus

Follow one course until success! It’s easy to get distracted, to throw in the towel, or to become interested in the next great thing and ditch what you initially set out to do.

Ditch the whole idea of multitasking, as it has been shown to be detrimental and unproductive Simply focus on the one new skill at hand until you get it done.

9. Visualize

The mind has great difficulty distinguishing between what is real and what is imagined. That is why athletes practice mentally seeing their success before attempting the real thing[3].

Visualize yourself achieving your new skill and each step that you need to make to see results. This is an important skill to help when you’re learning the basics or breaking a bad habit.

Take a look at this article to learn how to do so: How to Become a Person Who Can Visualize Results

10. Find a Mentor

Success leaves clues. The best short cut to become an expert is to find an expert and not have to make the mistakes that they have made.

Finding out what NOT to do from the expert will fast-track your learning when you want to learn new skills. It is a huge win to have them personally walk you through what needs to be done. Reach out and send an email to them.

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If you need help learning how to find a mentor, check out this article.

11. Sleep on It

Practice your new skill within four hours of going to sleep.

Josh Kaufman, author of The Personal MBA, is a noted rapid learning expert. He says that any practice done within this time frame causes your brain to embed the learning more rapidly into its neural pathways. Your memory and motor-mechanics are ingrained at a quicker level.

12. Use the 20-Hour Rule

Along with that tip, Kaufman also suggests 20 as the magic number of hours to dedicate to learning the new skill.

His reasoning is that everyone will hit a wall early on in the rapid learning stage and that “pre-committing” to 20 hours is a sure-fire way to push through that wall and acquire your new skill.[4]

Check out his video to find out more:

13. Learn by Doing

It’s easy to get caught up in reading and gathering information on how to learn new skills and never actually get around to doing those skills. The best way to learn is to do.

Regardless of how unprepared you feel, make sure you are physically engaged continuously. Keep alternating between research and practice.

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14. Complete Short Sprints

Rather than to force yourself into enduring hours upon hours of dedication, work in short sprints of about 20-30 minutes, then get up and stretch or take a short walk. Your brain’s attention span works best with short breaks, so be sure to give it the little rest it needs.

One study found that, between two groups of students, the students who took two short breaks when studying actually performed better than those who didn’t take breaks[5].

15. Ditch the Distractions

Make sure the environment you are in is perfect for your rapid-learning progress. That means ditching any social media, and the temptation to check any email. As the saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.”

Before you sit down to learn new skills, make sure that potential distractions are far from sight.

16. Use Nootropics

Otherwise known as brain enhancers, these cognitive boosters are available in natural herbal forms and in supplements.

Many students will swear by the increased focus that nootropics will provide[6], particularly as they get set for some serious cramming. Natural herbal nootropics have been used for thousands of years in Ayurvedic traditions to improve the mind and learning.

Find out more about brain supplements in this article.

17. Celebrate

For every single small win that you experience during the learning process, be sure to celebrate. Your brain will release endorphins and serotonin as you raise your hands in victory and pump your fits. Have a piece of chocolate and give yourself a pat on the back. This positive reinforcement will help you keep pushing forward as you learn new skills.

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The Bottom Line

Learning a new skill should be exciting and fun. Whether you use online courses, real world experience, YouTube videos, or free online resources, take time to learn in the long term. Keep picturing the joy of reaching the end goal and being a better version of yourself as continual motivation.

More Tips on How to Learn New Skills

Featured photo credit: Elijah M. Henderson via unsplash.com

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