To love yourself is to experience happiness and security on a whole new level.
We search for love outwardly because that is how as children, we found love and security. It was rewarded to us when we did good things. But we didn’t grow out of this, we continue to look for love in other people but the truth of it is, the love you are looking for can only come from within. That is why someone else’s love is never enough for you to be truly happy and you can never feel safe if you are not comfortable with your own capabilities.
But how to be more confident and love yourself?
We practice self-love so we can push through our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines.
Learn to Love Yourself
Do yourself a favor. Take a deep breath, give yourself a little hug and start practicing the following tips on self-love:
1. Cast out of the Idea That You Have to Be Perfect
Perfect body, life, IQ… All of it. Perfection doesn’t exist and when you think it does on social media, it is often masking crippling mental health issues.
You are never going to be perfect. But the good news is, you already are perfect, in your imperfection.
2. Understand That Societies’ Expectations of You Are an Unrealistic Standard That Can Never Be Met
It is our human nature to always be hungry for more, even if you hit that unrealistic standard, you will always be unhappy because you want more.
Don’t compare yourself or your life to that unrealistic standard, it only leads to self hate and depression: The More We Compare, the More We Lose Ourselves
3. Live in the Moment, Just for a Moment Every Day
Take a moment to stop the endless pursuit and just look into yourself. See where you have come from and appreciate the beauty of the moment that YOU ARE ALIVE — Living, breathing, functioning human being and how much of a luxury that is.
4. Daily Gratitude
That is the key to happiness.
Start a gratitude journal, an Instagram channel, a blog or just spend 3 minutes each day, thinking of all the things you are grateful for — Your body, your life, your friends, your country, M&Ms, how great that old pan has lasted you, how that person on the bus let you off first…
When we get comfortable, we get ungrateful. Change that, show gratitude everyday.
5. Embrace the Fact That You Can’t Control Everything
The only thing you can control are things within your control and your reactions. Understand that you can’t control other people, their choices, their behavior just like you can’t control the weather.
Life isn’t about trying to control everything, it is about how you react to it. Instead of trying to control everything and everyone, do the best you can do and then put your hands up and say ” it is in the hands of the God’s now” and leave it to work itself out. Everything works itself out eventually.
6. Self-Care
Society has taught us that self care is selfish and god forbid, our greatest fear is being called selfish. In response, we work ourselves to death so everyone knows how Good we are.
But there is a cost to be “Good” in the eyes of society and that cost is your happiness. Get over trying to be “Good” and take care of yourself. Self care = Happiness.
Start to take up these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.
7. Check in with Yourself Emotionally
Find a chair, grab a coffee and ask what is going on with you today. How are you feeling? Feel that feeling.
Learning to actually feel your feelings instead of brushing them under the rug is the best way forward.
8. Face Your Negative Thoughts
Ask them: Are they true? Are they helpful? Are they kind? Before you say anything negative, ask yourself, does this thought benefit me in any way? Does this thought make me better in some way? Or is it just rude, belittling and cruel.
We are often most abusive towards ourselves mentally, which means one of the most important keys to happiness is to stop with the internal torture. The endless insults, belittling, the “you’re so this and you’re such a that”. Only use supportive and positive language in your head.
Try these 7 Powerful Ways to Stop Negative Thinking.
9. Tighten Your Circle
Your social circle affects your whole life. Learn about The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You.
You are an accumulation of the 5 people you hang out with, so have a look at who that is. Who are they? Are they positive? Loving? Supportive? Or are they negative, rude and abusive?
You don’t owe anyone anything so if someone is dragging you down like a really negative friend, an insulting boyfriend or a rather opinionated overbearing Aunt. You don’t owe them your time. Ditch, Avoid, Move On. It is your life.
10. Eat Healthier
What you put in your body affects your mental health. Not just biologically but if you eat something you consider bad, you sit and shame yourself.
Don’t shame yourself, life is too short to shame yourself for eating food. Take off the restriction on eating, stop dieting and eat like a human. Eat foods you like and eat natural foods. Your body will thank you.
11. Get to Moving!
Don’t just sign up to a gym and never go. Try out a new form of physical activity, find one you enjoy, that makes you laugh and you have fun. Then do that!
Dancerize, Zumba, spin, mermaid swimming… There is almost unlimited types of sports out there. Go try them and watch your happiness bloom!
12. Remember Who You Are
You have been through a lot and you have come through it, getting stronger and stronger every time.
I ask you to remember who you are. Adversity is your friend, it challenges you to make life interesting so you can get to the place you really want to go!
13. Give Yourself Permission to Love Your Body
Your body is a beautiful and wonderful tool for adventure. Your body isn’t designed to just be an aesthetic to please other people and society. It isn’t a fancy Vase. It is a tool so that you can do all the things you want to do in this life.
Climb, eat, travel, work, knit… Treat your body as if it was your child. With nothing but love and the understanding that it is perfect as it is.
14. Stop Finding Happiness in a Body Type
We are taught that we will be happy if we conform to the Ideal Body. You know that type, it changes every decade, an impossible beauty standard that is often airbrushed over.
No matter how much weight you lose, plastic surgery you get and many products you buy. Happiness cannot be found in a body because there isn’t where happiness live.
Happiness comes from self acceptance. From realizing that the reason you want a body is to feel safe, accepted and successful, so that you feel like you can do all the things you want to do.
Well, you can do anything you want no matter what your body looks like, so stop wasting time trying to conform to a diet type and actually Go Get Happiness. It is found within.
15. Try Minimalism
True happiness and love isn’t found in stuff, it is found in appreciating what you have and experiences. At the end of your life, you want someone to say how great your life was, how you did everything you ever wanted!
Not that you had a huge collection of stuff and you were a hoarder. Shopping for happiness is like having a McDonalds, appreciating what you have is a homemade wholesome meal.
Here’s an inspiring read recommended for you: If Money Can’t Buy Happiness, What Can?
16. Learn Continuously
Learn, read, experiment… Find what works for you.
Try. Don’t just read this and go, well I guess that is interesting and walk off. Pick one of these things and practice them.
Happiness isn’t a switch, it is a daily practice.
17. Clear up Your Environment
Clear out all those negative people on social media. All of those relatable memes about underachieving alcoholics.
What you put in your mind becomes your life, therefore it is only logical that you fill your mind with positive information, and you will have a positive life.
Try these tips: How to Declutter Your Life and Reduce Stress (The Ultimate Guide)
18. Stop Being Too Tough on Yourself
Don’t believe everything you think. There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life.
19. Be Around Supportive People
Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you. Let them remind you just how amazing you are.
You are an accumulation of the 5 people you hang out with, so have a look at who that is. Who are they? Are they positive? Loving? Supportive? Or are they negative, rude and abusive?
You don’t owe anyone anything so if someone is dragging you down like a really negative friend, an insulting boyfriend or a rather opinionated overbearing Aunt. You don’t owe them your time. Ditch, Avoid, Move On. It is your life.
20. Stop the Comparisons
Looking for ways to learn to love yourself? Remember this tip.
There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you.
21. Let Go of Toxic Relationships
End all toxic relationships. Seriously. Anyone who makes you feel anything less than amazing doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life.
22. Celebrate Milestones
Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved. This is a great way to love yourself and be happy.
23. Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone
One of the ultimate ways to love yourself is to try something new. It’s incredible the feeling we get when we realize we have achieved something we didn’t know or think we could do before.
24. Be Unique
If you want to practice self-love, embrace and love the things that make you different. This is what makes you special.
25. Meditate
Take time out to calm your mind every day. Breathe in and out, clear your mind of your thoughts and just be.
26. Follow Your Passion
You know that thing that gets you so excited but scares you at the same time. The thing you really want to do but have convinced yourself it won’t work. You should go do that!
27. Be Patient but Persistent
Self-love is ever-evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times.
28. Be More Intentional
Be mindful of what you think, feel and want. Live your life in ways that truly reflect this.
29. Treat Others With Love and Respect
It makes us feel better about ourselves when we treat others the way we hope to be treated. That doesn’t mean everybody will always repay the favor, but that’s their problem not yours.
30. Connect with People
Reach out to family, friends, healers, whomever you need to help you through the tough times. You are not expected to go through them alone.
31. Don’t Be Guilty for Saying No
Learn to say no. Saying no sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a smart person.
32. Forgive Yourself
You know that thing you did one time (or maybe a few times) that made you feel bad, embarrassed, ashamed? It’s time to let that go. You can’t change the things you have done in the past but you can control your future. Look at it as a learning experience and believe in your ability to change.
33. Try Writing
Head swimming with so many thoughts it’s giving you a headache? Write them all down on a piece of paper, no matter how crazy, mean, sad, or terrifying they are. Keep it in a journal, tear it up, burn it, whatever you need to do to let it go.
34. Turn Off and Inwards
Grab a cup of your favorite tea, coffee, wine, whatever your choice of drink, and sit down for a few minutes on your own. No TV or distractions, just you. Think about the wonderful things that are happening in your life right now, what your big dreams are and how you can make them happen.
35. Give Up the Need for Approval From Others
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” — Dita Von Teese
36. Be Realistic
There is no person on this earth that is happy every single moment of every single day. You know why? Because we are all human. We make mistakes, we feel emotions (good and bad) and this is OK. Allow yourself to be human.
37. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Creative
Get creative and express yourself in whatever way you like. Painting, writing, sculpting, building, music, whatever takes your fancy, and make sure you leave your inner critic at the door. There are no right ways to be creative.
38. Let Go of Past Trauma and Wounds
This can be a really tough one and it may be one of those times you need to turn to others for support. The truth is though, when we let go of things that have happened to us it’s almost like a weight is lifted off our shoulders. We don’t have to carry that around with us anymore. We deserve better.
39. Find Your Happy Place
Where’s the one place you feel totally at ease, calm, happy, positive, high on life? Go to that place when you are going through hard times, or imagine yourself being there. Think about how it feels, what it smells like, what it looks like.
40. List Positive Things About Yourself
The next time you are feeling happy and on top of the world make a list of your best qualities and accomplishments. It may sound a little corny, but it can be a wonderful reminder when you are having a day that’s less than amazing.
41. Get in Touch With Your Inner Dialogue
If it’s anything less than loving, encouraging and supportive, it’s time to make a change. You deserve to be spoken to in the same way you would speak to your best friend, sister, brother, daughter, or son.
Final Thoughts
When you learn to love yourself and practice self-love, you can develop a better relationship with yourself. This is integral if you want to foster a healthy bond with other people. Self-love doesn’t happen overnight, but you are bound to get better at it in time.
Even if you feel stressed, think of how much you’ve accomplished. Once you finally learn how to be good to yourself, you will be one step closer to being the best version of you.
Have fun! Get out there and do the things that light your fire. Enjoy them, enjoy being you and enjoy your incredible life.
Featured photo credit: Alisa Anton via unsplash.com
