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Last Updated on November 27, 2020

The Secret of Success to Achieving Anything You Want Revealed

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The Secret of Success to Achieving Anything You Want Revealed

You’re here because you want to find a secret of success. Where’s it hiding? Why do some people seem to know all the secrets while others continue floundering?

I’m here to tell you that there are some proven ways to achieve success and become wildly successful.

In this article, I’ve done the heavy lifting to discover 11 secrets of success you can take to become a successful person.

Once you follow these, you’ll not only become more successful, but you’ll be able to apply them to any goal you set for yourself.

1. Use This Math Formula

The psychologist Kurt Lewin summarized why we act the way we do through a simple formula, and everyone can use this formula to up their chances of walking the path to success.

I’m simplifying his theory, but the basic equation he came up with is as follows:

B = f(P, E) where an individual’s behavior (B) is a function (f) of the the person (P), including their history, personality and motivation, and their environment (E).

Translated, what he surmised was:

“Behaviour is a function of the person and his or her environment.”

Now academic theories are great, but how does this equation help you?

How to Apply It

Think of it this way. When you have a really important deadline, where are you more likely to be productive? In a quiet room at your local library, or sitting on the couch with the TV on?

The answer is going to depend on how you work best—in silence or with background noise.

Where we are affects the way we behave, but it is all dependent on our personality.

If you want to use this secret of success, put yourself in environments that are likely to create the behaviors you want. For example, if you want to improve your physical stamina, a gym is probably better than your bedroom. If you want to improve your spirituality, a yoga/meditation studio may be a good choice.

2. Create Your Own Success Formula

Have you ever started on a big goal or path and been really motivated with your secret of success, but somewhere along the line you fell off track?

One big mistake many people make that leads to falling off track is a lack of measuring their progress.

I used to do this a lot in the gym. I’d spend hours and hours each week making the effort to get there and work out. But I wasn’t really feeling all that good about it!

Every time I stepped on the scale, I’d dread seeing the result. My progress was up and down, and I didn’t understand why. The fact was, I was leaving too many variables on the table. I failed to appreciate the importance of tracking.

After working with a coach, I realized I needed to pay closer attention to my diet, workouts, and sleep. I started tracking each one carefully and quickly noticed when I was eating too much, not lifting properly, or not getting enough sleep.

Essentially, what you measure, you manage.

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How to Apply It

Whatever it is you’re working towards, ask yourself: how can I track and measure my progress?

For example, if you want to save money, track how much you are spending each week and how much you are saving. Aim to improve it by 5% each month.

If you want to learn an instrument, record a video each week of you playing the same song. Each week watch it back to see how you have progressed. Track how many hours you practice in a log.

3. Explore Intentions Behind Actions

Measuring and managing your progress is important, but as one of my coaching clients once said: “In the absence of reflection, nothing changes”.

For example, let’s say you want to eat healthily and you start tracking your diet. You soon notice that you tend to overeat on weekends.

It’s great to track this, but what are you going to do about it? What is the deeper underlying reason that you keep behaving this way?

When studying for my diploma in Neuro Linguistic Programming, one of the first things we learned was that every behavior has a positive intention behind it.

We do things because they give us something in return. Uncover what those are if you want to utilize this secret of success.

How to Apply It

A powerful way to change unhelpful behaviors is to explore the intentions behind them. Look back and understand what is happening and what to do.

Each week, reflect and write down what you learned, what you avoided, and what you are going to change the next week.

Read books on self improvement, particularly in areas you wish to improve. For example, Brene Brown has great content on vulnerability.

4. Be an Absolute Yes or No

Is it possible that you are trying to fail instead of succeed? You may not realize it, but this may be the case.

Often we fear committing fully to our success because we fear what it means to commit 100%.

One powerful idea I picked up was the concept of being a very clear absolute yes or an absolute no to things. It’s a simple concept but one that creates immense clarity and saves time and effort.

This creates space for two things to happen in your life:

The first is to avoid anything which is heavy and a chore. The second is to leave space and time for you to give everything to the things you are an absolute yes to.

How to Apply It

Ask yourself honestly: What are you an absolute yes to right now? And which things are an absolute no?

If you’re reading a book you don’t like, put it down and start reading something more useful or interesting to you. It’s okay to not finish a mediocre book!

If you’re in a job that you really dislike, stop trying to force it and accept that it’s an absolute no. Think through what an absolute yes might be and start adjusting to make it happen.

5. Seek Advice From People Who Know More

The hidden secret behind many successful people is that they are not successful on their own. They have advisors, coaches, family members, and mentors all helping them along the way.

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An unfortunate characteristic of our time is that we try to do things on our own too often. A much faster way is to seek the counsel of wise people.

Who knows more than you? Who knows what works and doesn’t?

To get the most out of this secret of success, find those people and ask them to share those fundamentals with you.

How to Apply It

For each area of your life that you wish to be successful in, come up with some ideas of who can help you along the way.

The first thing I would recommend is to hire an accredited and professional life coach. They can help you strategize better and achieve your goals faster than you would on your own.

Another example comes with learning a language. If you want to learn a language faster, find a native speaker to tutor you once per week for an hour. It shouldn’t cost a lot and will speed up your progress.

6. Pick up the Right Mindset

What do the world’s top psychologists recommend when it comes to being successful?

It’s called a growth mindset[1].

Carol Dweck, in her seminal work Mindset, shares countless examples of the two mindsets people generally have: a fixed or a growth mindset.

Individuals with a fixed mindset have a generally rigid perspective on their talents and abilities. They believe that their intelligence and talent is fixed. Genetic. Unchangeable.

Individuals with a growth mindset have an open, more hopeful perspective on their talents and capabilities. They believe that they can learn new things and improve at the areas they are weak in[2].

Secret of success: have a growth mindset

     

    Having a growth mindset is a marker of success. By always seeking to learn, no matter the position, emotion, or outcome you have in life, you are constantly gaining insights and experience.

    Even if things don’t go as you wish, and you fail miserably, the individual with a growth mindset seeks to learn first rather than succeed or fail.

    Do you see how valuable this is? How do you stop someone who always learns and grows from any experience or setback?

    How to Apply It

    For this secret of success, focus your goals more on learning and development than simple success or failure.

    For example, if you’re fearful of public speaking, focus on how you can improve rather than be perfect at it. What can you learn? Who from?

    If you feel you are not a very confident person, focus on how you can model those who are. Every master was once a beginner. What could make you a bit more confident today?

    It’s never too late to change. Here’s the proof: How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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    7. Learn How Successful People Plan

    A vague goal leads to procrastination and overwhelm.

    By breaking your success down into clear steps and milestones, you allow yourself to celebrate the small wins along the way and feel more motivated.

    Success takes longer than we think, and this allows you stay focused along the way.

    How to Apply It

    Write your goals down and check if they are vague and general, or specific and time bound. Bring them closer to reality by setting them on a gradient. What is a clear sign of 10% progress being made?

    For example, if you want to be a successful YouTuber with 1 million subscribers, break it down. What does 5% look like? What do you need to do to achieve that? When?

    Schedule these milestones into your diary so you don’t forget. Set up reminders everywhere so it’s not left to chance.

    8. Understand the Benefits of Benevolence

    Contributing to the world in some meaningful way can make you more successful, but it can also help others become successful, so this is a great secret of success.

    And we all know that our existence is very fragile and limited. Who knows how much more time we have left?

    What are you leaving behind?

    What purpose does the money you’re making serve beyond paying the bills?

    What matters to you?

    How to Apply It

    Make a clear list on paper of causes you are interested in or care about. Research them and find some organizations or people to support.

    This could be by becoming an advisor and sharing your skills and expertise. In my company, we equip young people from low income backgrounds for life beyond the classroom. We have a group of experts on our advisory board who critique, challenge and support us. It helps us in a very meaningful way, and allows them to contribute, too.

    You could also make a monthly donation. Even something as small as $3/month does make a difference.

    9. Play Hard to Work Hard

    The fact is you do have to work hard to achieve things in life. It takes long hours of work over long periods of time.

    But wouldn’t you much rather have fun and play, like you did as a kid?

    Early in my career, I mistakenly believed I needed to work really really hard all the time to achieve success.

    This is true, but the endless “working hard” can create resistance. My to-do lists seemed never-ending. Just thinking about work drained my energy, let alone doing it.

    So I did what so many of us do: avoid, procrastinate, and delay. Until I learned this little secret: What if I replaced the word “work” and focused on “play”? There would be no hustle, just a curious human on an adventure.

    How to Apply It

    Where in your life are you making things mentally tiring and complex? How could you approach your work in a more playful and curious way?

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    For example, if you want to build productive habits like journaling everyday, how can you make it more fun? Could you use glitter and crayons? Could you treat it like an art class in school?

    10. Work Less But Do More

    Jim Rohn once said:

    “A lot of people don’t do well simply because they major in minor things.”

    Basically, this means that most people focus on small, unimportant things and don’t give the majority of their energy to the larger actions that make a real difference[3].

    For this secret of success, ask yourself which actions will offer the biggest impact on you goal.

    How to Apply It

    Not all action is created equal. Review what you are doing and where you spend most of your time in trying to achieve your goals.

    For example, if you’re trying to get lean and toned, what is the number one habit that has the biggest impact on your success?

    If you’re trying to build a positive culture in your workplace, what simple thing can you do that has the greatest success?

    11. Focus on Process, Not End Results

    What if I told you success actually isn’t what you should aim for, but something else instead?

    We focus on the success we want, and these things are important: building a business, becoming healthier, more fulfilled, more positive, etc.

    However, these end outcomes will only keep us happy for so long. These things are not where your real value and growth lie.

    By focusing on the end results, we dampen our efforts and become trapped in a fixed mindset of succeeding or failing. It sets you up for a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.

    Instead, what the world’s top performers realize is that it’s much better to focus on the quantity and repetitions, not the outcomes.

    Writing 1 book every year is more important than the perfect bestselling book. Making 100 cold calls every day to your target customers is more important than the perfect pitch.

    How to Apply It

    Instead of trying to craft the perfect habit or result, focus on improving the process that creates those outcomes.

    For example, if you want to become a great midfielder in soccer, focus on improving your skills and technique every day instead of dreaming about the perfect high paid contract.

    If you want to launch an acclaimed business, focus on creating the small viable product and selling to 1,000 customers first instead of trying to craft the perfect product no one really wants.

    Final Thoughts

    Choosing one secret of success to get your started will make it easier to achieve your short and long term goals.

    Follow these steps, practice them every day, and measure your progress. Gradually, you’ll get closer to success in anything you want.

    More on the Secret of Success

    Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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    Reference

    More by this author

    Keshav Bhatt

    Writer, Social Entrepreneur, Accredited Life Coach & NLP Practitioner

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    Published on October 14, 2021

    How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

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    How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

    Do you ever worry about being exposed as a “fraud?” You’re not alone. It’s actually quite common for people to feel like imposters. In fact, approximately 70 percent of people admit to having experienced impostor syndrome[1] at some point in their lives — a Twitter poll found that 87 percent of people have experienced this.[2] Even successful and famous people like Tom Hanks, Howard Schultz, and Natalie Portman suffer from imposter syndrome.

    But, what exactly is imposter syndrome. And, more importantly, how can you silence it?

    Originally coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., ABPP, and Suzanne Imes, Ph.D., the term “impostor syndrome” describes symptoms that include being unable to internalize accomplishments and being afraid of being exposed as a fraud.

    The individual may also be plagued by chronic self-doubt and believe that they’re unqualified for success despite evidence to the contrary. Inadequacies, fears of failure, and disbelief that success is a matter of luck or timing are also common.

    If you don’t address this phenomenon, feeling like an impostor can prevent you from achieving ambitious goals. Moreover, those experiencing these feelings tend to over-prepare or procrastinate — which obviously hinders productivity and reaching goals. And, as if that weren’t bad enough, imposter syndrome prevents you from pursuing new challenges and opportunities.

    Do you feel like you’re suffering from impostor syndrome? If so, don’t beat yourself up. After all, there are effective ways to overcome these feelings in a healthy and proactive way.

    1. Don’t Hide It.

    “Firstly, acknowledge it,” advises Claudine Robson,[3] the Intentional Coach. “You give strength to imposter syndrome by letting it continue to peck away at your confidence unchecked.” It can only be banished if you acknowledge it as soon as possible and break the silence.

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    “Then you need to separate your feelings from facts,” Robson adds. “One thing imposter syndrome does very effectively is to mix up your perceptions of reality.”

    If you can, take a step back and look at the situation objectively. “Recognize when you should — and when you should not — feel fraudulent,” she says. Appreciate and acknowledge the task, intellect, and insight that have led to your success.

    You might even be able to take action by recognizing that the reason you feel fraudulent is that you’re new to a task. “That gives you a path forward; learning is growth, don’t deny yourself that.”

    2. Implement the STOP Technique

    In her book Cognitive Enlightenment, Melinda Fouts, Ph.D., outlines a technique to overcome imposter syndrome using what she calls the STOP technique.

    “STOP is an acronym for ‘silence the oppressive player,” Fouts explains in Forbes.[4] “You need to eradicate this tape that is playing 24/7, whether you are conscious of it or not. It plays loudest when we are tired, hungry, or feeling defeated.”

    Steps to implementing the STOP technique and rewiring your brain are as follows:

    To replace the tape of not good enough, you need a “launch sentence.” “I’m more than good enough” would is an example of a solid launch statement.

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    Put your launch sentence in prominent locations, such as your car’s dashboard or computer. How come? The reason is that as the tape plays, you won’t be able to remember your launch statement.

    Continue to say “stop” until you recall your launch sentence, says Fouts.

    Put your launch sentence into your own words and pontificate.

    While going about your daily tasks, like while driving or exercising, practice your launch sentence so you can recall it when you need it in the future.

    “I am told this sounds simple and it does,” she adds. However, this technique is challenging when your negative tape is playing. You will not want to replace the tape every day while your brain is rewiring itself. “It is these moments you can’t give up.”

    3. Distinguish Humility and Fear

    When it comes to hard work and accomplishments, there’s humility, and then there’s fear. In other words, having a high level of competence can lead one to discount its value occasionally. However, as Carl Richards wrote in an article for the New York Times,[5] “After spending a lot of time fine-tuning our ability, isn’t it sort of the point for our skill to look and feel natural?”

    The problem is that we feel unworthy from time to time. But, as Seth Godin explained in a blog post,[6] “When you feel unworthy, any kind response, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, the luck of the draw.”

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    Feeling worthy without feeling entitled is possible. And, finding the right balance between them is critical for overcoming impostor syndrome. “Humility and worthiness have nothing at all to do with defending our territory,” Godin continues. “We don’t have to feel like a fraud to also be gracious, open, or humble.”

    4. Keep a “Brag Sheet”

    When you were sending out college applications, did you build yourself a “brag sheet?” If not, here’s a clean description from Shawna Newman,[7] “A brag sheet is very similar to a student resume – it highlights your accomplishments, key experiences, leadership skills, and employment throughout your secondary education.” In short, “it’s a quick reference guide with all the details and achievements for someone trying to get to know you better.”

    While it may be awkward at first, you can apply the same concept when coping with imposter syndrome. Just compose a list of your accomplishments, activities, skills. That’s it. Just remember Godin’s advice and also be humble and gracious.

    As an added perk, besides being an effective way to talk myself up, I’ve also found that this has helped me stop comparing myself to others. Instead of harping about other people’s milestones, I’m honing in on what I’ve done.

    5. Celebrate Wins, Period

    Speaking of accomplishments, they shouldn’t be categorized as small or big. After all, you feel as if you don’t belong when you have imposter syndrome. So, the more you celebrate your wins, the more confident you’ll become.

    Furthermore, accept compliments without qualifying them and practice listening to praise every day. Finally, become kinder to yourself by saying at least one kind thing to yourself daily. And, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.

    6. Assemble a Legion of Superheroes

    “You know how corporations have a board of directors to — in theory — make them stronger, maintain checks and balances, leverage resources, and help advance the organization’s vision?” asks inspirational speaker, speaking coach, and creative consultant Tania Katan.[8] “Why not assemble your own board of directors to leverage resources to help make your career stronger, keep you in check and balanced, and advance your vision?”

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    “My friend Alison Wade, president of conferences, training, and consulting at Techwell, calls her personal board of directors her “front-row” — those are the people she invites to sit spitting distance from the stage, cheer her on, challenge her, and review her performance,” Katan writes.

    As for Katan, she calls hers a “legion of superheroes.” The reason? “I dig the idea of joining forces to do good in the corporate galaxy.”

    It’s important to have a diverse group of individuals who will defend you. Ideally, they should be varied in all dimensions, such as cultural background, way of thinking, and skills.

    Katan recommends that you meet together frequently, whether if that’s once a week or every quarter. “Share your experiences, fears, creative ideas, aspirations,” she adds. “Celebrate each other’s accomplishments.” You also need to both support and challenge each other. “Discover what you are capable of doing when you combine your powers.”

    7. Visualize Success

    Follow the example of a professional athlete by imagining yourself crushing that presentation or project. You’ll enjoy the relief from performance-related stress. And, more importantly, it can help you avoid focusing on the worst-case scenario.

    Final Words of Advice

    While there’s no single formula to cure imposter syndrome, the tips listed above are a start. After all, your success depends on your ability to fight the negative effects of it. For example, feeling unworthy over time can lead to crippling anxiety and depression if left untreated.

    If you’ve tried the above, then make sure that you speak to someone about what you’re experiencing, whether it’s a mentor, peer group, or licensed professional. And, above all else, there’s a place at the table for everyone — no matter what your inner voice is telling you.

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    How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome was originally published on Calendar by John Rampton.

    Featured photo credit: Laurenz Kleinheider via unsplash.com

    Reference

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