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11 Secrets to Becoming Successful at Anything You Can Imagine

11 Secrets to Becoming Successful at Anything You Can Imagine

You’re here because you want to be successful. But why aren’t you there yet? What is stopping you?

I’m here to tell you. Success is not by accident, far from it. But there are some proven ways to achieve it.

In this article, I’ve done the heavy lifting for you of finding out the 11 actionable steps you can take to become successful.

Once you follow these, you’ll not only become more successful, but be able to apply them to any goal you set for yourself.

So here are 11 secrets to becoming successful at anything you can imagine:

1. The Math Formula That Explains Success

There’s a really smart psychologist called Kurt Lewin who summarized why we act the way we do, through a simple formula.

I’m simplifying his theory, but the basic equation he came up with was:

P = F(P,E)

Translated, what he surmized was:

“Behaviour is a function of the person and his or her environment.”

Now academic theories are great but how does this equation help you?

Think of it this way. When you have a really important deadline, where are you more likely to be productive?

In a quiet room at your local library or sitting on the couch with the TV on?

Quite clearly, the former.

Where we are, affects the way we behave. Some places more so than others, but you get the idea.

What you should do now:

If you want to be successful, put yourself in environments that are likely to create the behaviours you want. Here’s some ideas:

  • If you want to get more in touch with religious or spiritual practices, go to a temple/place of worship once per week for 30 minutes and meditate there.
  • If you want to improve your strength and stamina, go to a gym class everyday instead of trying to workout at home on your own.

2. Create Your Own Success Formula

Have you ever started on a big goal or path, been really motivated but somewhere along the line – fallen off track?

One big mistake many people make that leads to falling off track is a lack of measuring their progress.

I used to do this a lot in the gym.

I’d spend hours and hours each week making the effort to get there and workout. I’d share the classic photo of me at the gym doing my workout – but you know the truth?

I wasn’t really feeling all that good about it!

Every time I stepped on the scales, I’d dread seeing the result. My progress was up and down and I didn’t understand why.

The fact was, I was leaving too many variables on the table. I failed to appreciate the importance of tracking.

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After working with a coach, I realized I needed to pay closer attention to my diet, workouts and sleep. I started tracking each one carefully and quickly noticed when I was eating too much, not lifting properly or getting enough sleep.

Previously, I would just walk into the gym, pick whichever weight I thought I’d bench pressed the week before or felt I could manage. It was completely random.

By tracking, I learned to ensure I was progressing 1% on the last time.

Can you guess what happened?

I progressed.

What you measure, you manage.

What you should do now:

Whatever it is you’re working towards, ask yourself – how can I track and measure my progress?

For example:

  • If you want to save money, track how much you are spending each week and how much you are saving. Aim to improve it by 5% each month.
  • If you want to learn an instrument, record a video each week of you playing the same song. Each week watch it back to see how you have progressed. Track how many hours you practice in a log.

3. The Key Habit That Multiplies Success

Measuring and managing your progress is important, but as one of my coaching clients once said: “In the absence of reflection, nothing changes”.

For example, let’s say you want to eat healthily and you start tracking your diet. You soon notice that you tend to overeat on weekends.

It’s great to track this but what are you going to do about it? What is the deeper underlying reason that you keep behaving this way?

When studying for my diploma in Neuro Linguistic Programming, one of the first things we learned was that every behaviour has a positive intention behind it.

We do things because they give us something in return. Uncover what those are.

What you should do now:

A powerful way to change unhelpful behaviours is to explore the intentions behind them. To look back and understand what is happening and what to do.

  • Each week, reflect and write down what you learned, what you avoided, and what you are going to change the next week.
  • Read books on self improvement, particularly in areas you wish to improve. For example, Brene Brown has great content on vulnerability.

4. A Simple Question That Doubles Your Commitment

This might surprise you. But are you trying to fail instead of succeed?

Often we fear committing fully to our success because we fear what it means to commit 100%.

One powerful idea I picked up (from Derek Sivers) was the concept of being a very clear absolute yes or an absolute no to things.

It’s a simple concept but one which creates immense clarity and saves you so much time and effort.

This creates space for two things to happen in your life:

The first is to avoid anything which is heavy and a chore. The second is to leave space and time for you to give everything to the things you are an absolute yes to.

Sometimes we do things half heartedly and this leads to stagnation and mediocrity.

But to succeed, you really do have to remain 100% committed in your intentions and actions.

What you should do now:

Ask yourself honestly:

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What are you an absolute yes to right now? And what things are an absolute no?

  • If you’re reading a book you don’t like, put it down and start reading something more useful or interesting to you. It’s okay to not finish a mediocre book!
  • If you’re in a job that you really dislike, stop trying to force it and accept that it’s an absolute no. Think through what an absolute yes might be and start adjusting to make it happen

5. Drastically Increase Your Brain Power

The hidden secret behind many successful people is that they are not successful on their own. They have advisors, coaches, family members, mentors all helping them along the way.

An unfortunate characteristic of our time is that we try to do things on our own too often. A much faster way however is to seek the counsel of wise people.

Who knows more than you? Who knows what works and doesn’t?

Find those people and ask them to share those fundamentals with you.

What you should do now:

For each area of your life that you wish to be successful in, come up with some ideas of who can help you along the way.

  • The first thing I would recommend is to hire an accredited and professional life coach. They can help you strategise better and achieve your goals faster than you would on your own.
  • If you want to learn a language faster, find a native speaker to tutor you once per week for 1 hour. It shouldn’t cost a lot and will speed up your progress a lot.
  • Subscribe to YouTube channels that share useful ideas and information. I’d also recommend others like TED talks, the SciShow, and Crash Course.
  • Develop your Digital Brain — this will drastically increase your brain power and boost memory.

6. Pick Up the Right Mindset That Shapes Our Lives

What do the world’s top psychologists recommend when it comes to being successful?

Is there a way of thinking you could download that makes you 10x more likely to win?

The short answer, yes!

It’s called a growth mindset.

Carol Dweck, in her seminal work ‘Mindset’, shares countless examples of the two mindsets people generally have – a fixed or a growth mindset.

Individuals with a fixed mindset have a generally rigid perspective on their talents and abilities. They believe that their intelligence and talent is fixed. Genetic. Unchangeable.

Individuals with a growth mindset have an open, more hope filled perspective on their talents and capabilities. They believe that they can learn new things and improve at the areas they are weak on if they put the time in.

I’m sure you can guess which of the two is a marker of success.

The growth mindset.

By always seeking to learn, no matter the position, emotion or outcome you have in life – you are constantly gaining insights and experience.

Even if things don’t go as you wish, and you fail miserably, the individual with a growth mindset seeks to learn first, rather than succeed or fail.

Do you see how valuable this is? How do you stop someone who always learns and grows from any experience or setback?

What you should do now:

Focus your goals more on learning and development than simple success or failure.

For example:

  • If you’re fearful of public speaking, focus on how you can improve, rather than be perfect at it. What can you learn? Who from?
  • If you feel you are not a very confident person, focus on how you can model those who are. Every master was once a beginner. What could make you a bit more confident today?

Think you’re too late to change? No way! Here’s the proof:

How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

7. Learn How Successful People Plan

I’m part of a private invite only mastermind group. Each week we share our insights, reflections and milestones with each other for accountability.

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Instead of setting a vague goal far off in the horizon, we challenge each other to make them time bound and manageable.

Want to be a successful entrepreneur? OK, what is 10% of that goal being achieved? How do you know when you are at 50%? What are the steps to get there?

A vague goal leads to procrastination and overwhelm.

By breaking your success down into clear steps and milestones, you allow yourself to celebrate the small wins along the way and feel more motivated.

Success takes longer than we think and this allows you stay focused along the way.

What you should do now:

Write your goals down and check if they are vague and general, or specific and time bound. Bring them closer to reality by setting them on a gradient. What is a clear sign of 10% progress being made?

  • If you want to be a successful YouTuber with 1 million subscribers – break it down. What does 5% look like? What do you need to do to achieve that? When?
  • Schedule these milestones into your diary so you don’t forget. Set up reminders everywhere so it’s not left to chance.

8. Understand the Benefits of Benevolence

I’ve broken down the 6 fundamental pillars of a meaningful life in one of my courses. One of them is contribution. It’s very easy to get stuck in the grind of our day to day.

And we all know that our existence is very fragile and limited. Who knows how much more time we have left?

So what are you leaving behind?

The money you’re making right now, what purpose does it serve beyond paying the bills?

What matters to you?

What you should do now:

Make a clear list on paper of causes you are interested in or care about. Research them and find some organisations or people to support.

This could be by:

  • Becoming an advisor and sharing your skills and expertise. In my company, we equip young people from low income backgrounds for life beyond the classroom. We have a group of experts on our advisory board who critique, challenge and support us. It helps us in a very meaningful way, and allows them to contribute too.
  • Making a monthly donation. Even something as small as $3/month, does make a difference.

9. Don’t Work Hard (But Do This Instead)

The fact is you do have to work hard to achieve things in life. It takes long hours of work, over long periods of time.

But wouldn’t you much rather have fun and play, like you did as a kid?

One huge, secret hack I stumbled on early on in my career (with the help of a life coach I worked with) was playing over hustling.

I mistakenly believed I needed to work really really hard all the time to achieve success.

Don’t get me wrong. This is obviously true.

But in the back of mind it created a bit of resistance.

My to-do lists seemed endless. Just thinking about work drained my energy, let alone doing it.

So I did what so many of us do. Avoid, procrastinate, and delay.

Until I learned this little secret.

What if I replace the word ‘work’, and focused on ‘play’?

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I wouldn’t see it as hard, face crunching work. I’d see what I do as a fun game I was trying to win at.

There would be no hustle. Just a curious kid (with a beard) on an adventure.

What you should do now:

Where in your life are you making things mentally tiring and complex? How could you approach your work in a more playful and curious way?

For example:

  • If you want to build productive habits like journalling everyday. How could you make it more fun? Could you use glitter and crayons? Could you treat it like an art class in school?
  • One of my goals to be more active is to do 10,000 steps everyday. Sometimes, it seems like a chore. So I took my 5 year old niece with me and it immediately became a fun game of hide & seek.

10. Work Less But Do and Succeed More

Sorry to be cliche and quote Tony Robbins in my success article, but he said something powerful in a clip I saw recently:

Average people, major in minor things.

The moment I heard this, a surge of insight whizzed through my brain. Like all great ideas, it made total sense to me.

I kicked myself. If only I’d seen this sooner!

Which actions that I take, give me the biggest impact on my goal? What is easy to do, and achieves the most success?

What you should do now:

Not all action is created equal. Reviewing what you are doing, and where you spend most of your time in trying to achieve your goals.

For example:

  • If you’re trying to get lean and toned, what is the number one habit that has the biggest impact on your success?
  • If you’re trying to build a positive culture in your workplace, what simple thing can you do that has the greatest success?

11. Focus On Process, Not End Results

And finally, what if I told you success actually isn’t what you should aim for but something else instead?

I know, you’d be surprised right. Why would I dissuade you from trying to succeed?

Hear me out:

We focus on the success we want, and these are important – building a business, becoming healthier, more fulfilled, more positive etc.

However, these end outcomes will only keep us happy for so long. These things are not where your real value and growth lies.

By focusing on these end results, we dampen our efforts and become trapped in a fixed mindset of succeeding or failing. It sets you up for a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.

Instead, what the world’s top performers realize is that it’s much better to focus on the quantity and repetitions – not the outcomes.

Writing 1 book every year is more important than the perfect bestselling book. Making 100 cold calls every day to your target customers is more important than the perfect pitch.

What you should next:

Instead of trying to craft the perfect habit or result. Focus on improving the process that creates those outcomes.

For example:

  • If you want to become a great midfielder in soccer, focus on improving your skills and technique everyday. Instead of dreaming about the perfect high paid contract.
  • If you want to launch an acclaimed business, focus on creating the small viable product and selling to 1,000 customers first. Instead of trying to craft the perfect product no one really wants.

Conclusion

If you want to become successful at anything you can imagine, follow these 11 steps:

  1. Be in the best environments possible.
  2. Track and measure your progress along the way.
  3. Reflect regularly on what is going well and what needs to change.
  4. Ensure you have done all you can to stay 100% committed. Be hell yes or no.
  5. Have experts and advisors around you to help.
  6. Cultivate a curious and open growth mindset where you are passionate about learning.
  7. Create clear milestones of progress so you stay motivated and focused.
  8. Give back and contribute to causes you care about to create a strong sense of purpose to your life.
  9. Focus on enjoying the journey and having fun along the way. Not just when you achieve “success”.
  10. Spend your time and energy on the fundamental things which bring the biggest rewards.
  11. Let go of perfect outcomes and pay attention to improving your process to success.

Follow these steps, practice them every day and measure your progress. Gradually you’ll get closer to success in anything you want.

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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Keshav Bhatt

Writer, Social Entrepreneur, Accredited Life Coach & NLP Practitioner

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

How to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis (The Complete Guide)

How to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis (The Complete Guide)

Is there such a thing as a quarter life crisis and could it be the cause of you experiencing a lack of happiness and fulfilment in your life or career right now?

According to popular psychology, a quarter life crisis is a crisis “involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life” which is most commonly experienced in a period ranging from a person’s twenties up to their mid-thirties.[1] It tends to occur after we have finished our schooling and study, when we have settled into everyday life, often at major points or life changing events when we feel we are at a crossroads. We know something must change but we don’t know what or how to begin. It can feel confusing and lonely.

The good news is this is quite a normal experience. With some insight and small steps, you can gain clarity and direction on a way forward.

Firstly, it’s important to realize you are not alone. LinkedIn surveyed thousands of 25 to 33 years olds; the data showed that 75% had experienced a quarter life crisis with the average age being 27.[2]

Our twenties and thirties are nothing like they used to be. There are so many pressures now for people in this age group including having a well-qualified career, a secure relationship and possibly a family. The prospect of owning a home of your own becomes important, yet each year seems to be getting further out of reach, putting further pressure on your income earning capacity and career choice.

Personally, I have experienced both a quarter life crisis and a mid life one and there are similarities between both. Change was instigated for me both times by a difficult life-changing event, because I didn’t understand what I was experiencing or how to change it. Hindsight is a great thing and I sometimes wish I’d had the insights back then that I have now.

When you become aware of what you are experiencing and acknowledge your feelings as perfectly normal, change and transformation flows with more ease as you begin to take the steps to find new direction, happiness and fulfilment.

Here you will find what I consider to be the complete guide. It contains the essential steps I have identified to get clear on your way forward and move through this period of your life with more certainty.

1. Stop Comparing Your Own Quarter Life Crisis to Your Friend’s

Comparing yourself with your friends and peers, noticing their life choices and achievements can lead you to feel inferior and this increases those feelings of pressure and anxiety. You only have to jump online for five minutes and scroll through your newsfeed to see images of couples with children, career and life announcements and they all seem much more satisfied than you.

The truth is that often what you see is not real and they could be experiencing their own crisis too behind the facade. This means you could be comparing yourself with something that doesn’t even exist. What is the point in that?

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If you want to make this easier for yourself, stop accessing social media platforms. You can remove apps from your phone so you have to physically log in. If you need to access certain platforms for work or business, stay away from your newsfeed, even unfollow connections until you have worked through this period of your life.

When you stop comparing, you will notice that the pressure decreases and you will feel more comfort in your current situation. This allows change to unfold at its own pace.

2. Let Go of All the Should’s

If you hear yourself say, “I should be” or “I have to”, you are attempting to live your life by other people’s standards. And now you are aware of this, you will be amazed at how often you use this language.

The thing is, trying to live to others’ standards will never bring you true happiness or fulfilment. Even the use of this language brings a feeling of self-judgement and stress without even taking the actions associated with it. And over time, continually living this way, you will start to feel like your life isn’t your own; and you will lead yourself deeper into crisis as your self-esteem suffers.

If you hear yourself using this language, stop in your tracks. Explore where the thought actually came from and who said you should be doing things that way. Let go of the need to judge yourself according to someone else’s standards and start to think about what you really want instead.

When you let go of all the “I should’s” and start to replace them with your “I wants,” you will notice the feeling of lightness as your self-esteems rises again.

3. Get Clear on What Is Important to You

As you begin to let go of what you thought should be important, you create space to get clear on what is important to you.

Most of the time, like the majority of people, you are living your life unconsciously and unaware of what is really important to you. This means you will find it difficult to make choices that will light you up from the inside.

Dr John Demartini, a long time educator and international expert in human behavior states in his book The Values Factor, that true motivation is inspiration and is present when we are fulfilling our values. And, when we are living according to our truest and most important values is when we are our most fulfilled.

This means it’s important to get ultra clear on your most important values. You can do this simply by looking at what you put most of your time and energy into currently, and the moments in your life when you have felt your most fulfilled. Those moments may have been at any point in your life and may even mean going right back to memories of childhood.

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As you get clearer on what is important to you, you will gain even more clarity on what you truly want for you.

4. Change Your Environment

Feeling stuck can often be exacerbated when we stay in the same place, because our environment can have a huge impact on our state of mind. And, when you are in a stuck state of mind, it can be difficult to see past what you have in your life right now.

This doesn’t mean you need to sell all your belongings and go to live in an ashram for a year, although this may be the thing that feels right for you, and if it is that is okay.

You can gain the same benefits by going on a holiday, going away for a long weekend or even just going for a few day trips into nature, the forest or the beach where you can feel a real connection with self.

When you change your environment, you can change your state and your mindset. You shift yourself out of focusing on feeling dissatisfied with your life right now and shift yourself into thinking about how your life could be.

5. Enter the Dream Room and Ask Yourself “What If?”

There have been many great stories created in The Dream Room.

Walt Disney has been named one of the most remarkably creative, and as you may know one of the most successful individuals of the 20th century. The methods he used for all his creations are still being used today. Each of his creations began in the place called The Dream Room, the place where anything is possible; where there is nothing too absurd, there are no limits and no judgement. This was a place for brainstorming or dream storming as it was called.[3]

I always like to call it the “What if” room, which is a place where you ask yourself the “What if?” questions. This is the place where you can create your own outrageous wish list of what you really want. It doesn’t have to be a physical room; it’s a room you go to in your mind’s eye. This dream space is expansive and the expansion can be increased when you also change your physical environment by going to a place outdoors where you can see the horizon.

Find your space, arm yourself with a journal and pen, and ask yourself these questions:

  • What if anything were possible, what would I do and what would I create for my life?
  • What if life was exactly as I wanted it to be, what would that look like and how would I feel experiencing that?
  • What if I were without fear, what would I aim for?
  • What if I couldn’t possibly fail, how can I see myself doing this?

Dream as you did when you were a child, when you knew without a doubt that anything is possible.

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When you embrace this and allow yourself to dream, you will begin to create the most exciting picture of your next chapter in life.

6. Be Patient and Let Go of Control

Human beings waste so much time trying to control how their lives evolve and if you attempt to rush this dream process, you will find it difficult to gain the clarity you are looking for.

Learn patience, remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day and you are creating your own private empire of what you want for you.

This means that your dream room vision may be created in one day, two weeks or even a year. However long it takes, make it okay for you.

Many of the answers you are searching for are locked in your unconscious mind, things you have forgotten over time while you have possibly been focusing on living the way you thought you should live.

As you start asking the right questions, your answers will begin to come little by little and, will often come when you least expect them.

Carry a small notebook with you or voice record on an app on your phone. Even keep a notebook by your bed for when you first wake up in the morning.

7. Ditch Your Perception of Life Always Being Perfect

Even if we create an exciting vision, we can often get in our own way by our fear of things not working out perfectly.

We see failure before we have even started and hesitate on something that powerfully lights us up on the inside because it’s not the perfect time. Before we know it, years have passed and we are still in the same place. This can cause an even bigger crisis in later years.

Life is always happening perfectly for us; the problem is our perception of perfection is imperfect.

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Over the years, we have made perfection mean everything it really doesn’t. As a society, we have chosen to see perfection as things always lining up perfectly, no mistakes, a flawlessness, always getting the right result and the outcomes we want.

Here’s the thing: the opposite of this is absolutely true.

Life happens perfectly for you all the time. This means all the mistakes you make, all the outcomes you don’t want and not getting things right first time, is absolutely perfect for you at the time. As you make these mistakes, the lessons and growth you receive are vital to you living the life you truly want in the long term.

If at any point, you feel your need for perfection is possibly holding you back, comfort yourself with knowing that whatever the outcome, it’s happening perfectly. You will be exactly where you are meant to be to enable you to eventually live the life of your dreams

8. Make a Stand for You

Often when we make a decision on our future, we can find those closest to us object to our plans, because they want what is best for us; they want us to be happy.

The thing is what they think will make us happy isn’t necessarily what will really make us happy, because their dreams and values are different to ours. This can often make us apprehensive and delay actioning our plans since we don’t want to disappoint them.

This brings to mind something an amazing mentor once said to me, he said, “dogs only bark at what they don’t understand”. To me, this means that if a dog barks, they are not quite sure what is happening and in that uncertainty, they sense danger.

Your loved ones are exactly the same. They don’t understand where you are heading because it’s possibly something they are not familiar with themselves. Or maybe it reminds them of past experiences of their own where things didn’t quite work out the way they wanted them to. They won’t be disappointed in you when you make a stand for what you want. They just love you and want to protect you.

Proudly make a stand for you and your dream. Reassure them that you love them and you will be okay with whatever happens, because life is always happening for you and you are grateful for their support in the life you are choosing.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, no one else’s life, desires or dreams can bring you happiness and fulfilment; only what is important to you and what you really want can do that.

By being patient and kind with yourself as you move through what can be your most exciting life-changing period, you will feel this crisis point end and find clarity on exactly what will light up your life.

More About Life Crisis

Featured photo credit: ZACHARY STAINES via unsplash.com

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