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Last Updated on November 27, 2020

The Secret of Success to Achieving Anything You Want Revealed

The Secret of Success to Achieving Anything You Want Revealed

You’re here because you want to find a secret of success. Where’s it hiding? Why do some people seem to know all the secrets while others continue floundering?

I’m here to tell you that there are some proven ways to achieve success and become wildly successful.

In this article, I’ve done the heavy lifting to discover 11 secrets of success you can take to become a successful person.

Once you follow these, you’ll not only become more successful, but you’ll be able to apply them to any goal you set for yourself.

1. Use This Math Formula

The psychologist Kurt Lewin summarized why we act the way we do through a simple formula, and everyone can use this formula to up their chances of walking the path to success.

I’m simplifying his theory, but the basic equation he came up with is as follows:

B = f(P, E) where an individual’s behavior (B) is a function (f) of the the person (P), including their history, personality and motivation, and their environment (E).

Translated, what he surmised was:

“Behaviour is a function of the person and his or her environment.”

Now academic theories are great, but how does this equation help you?

How to Apply It

Think of it this way. When you have a really important deadline, where are you more likely to be productive? In a quiet room at your local library, or sitting on the couch with the TV on?

The answer is going to depend on how you work best—in silence or with background noise.

Where we are affects the way we behave, but it is all dependent on our personality.

If you want to use this secret of success, put yourself in environments that are likely to create the behaviors you want. For example, if you want to improve your physical stamina, a gym is probably better than your bedroom. If you want to improve your spirituality, a yoga/meditation studio may be a good choice.

2. Create Your Own Success Formula

Have you ever started on a big goal or path and been really motivated with your secret of success, but somewhere along the line you fell off track?

One big mistake many people make that leads to falling off track is a lack of measuring their progress.

I used to do this a lot in the gym. I’d spend hours and hours each week making the effort to get there and work out. But I wasn’t really feeling all that good about it!

Every time I stepped on the scale, I’d dread seeing the result. My progress was up and down, and I didn’t understand why. The fact was, I was leaving too many variables on the table. I failed to appreciate the importance of tracking.

After working with a coach, I realized I needed to pay closer attention to my diet, workouts, and sleep. I started tracking each one carefully and quickly noticed when I was eating too much, not lifting properly, or not getting enough sleep.

Essentially, what you measure, you manage.

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How to Apply It

Whatever it is you’re working towards, ask yourself: how can I track and measure my progress?

For example, if you want to save money, track how much you are spending each week and how much you are saving. Aim to improve it by 5% each month.

If you want to learn an instrument, record a video each week of you playing the same song. Each week watch it back to see how you have progressed. Track how many hours you practice in a log.

3. Explore Intentions Behind Actions

Measuring and managing your progress is important, but as one of my coaching clients once said: “In the absence of reflection, nothing changes”.

For example, let’s say you want to eat healthily and you start tracking your diet. You soon notice that you tend to overeat on weekends.

It’s great to track this, but what are you going to do about it? What is the deeper underlying reason that you keep behaving this way?

When studying for my diploma in Neuro Linguistic Programming, one of the first things we learned was that every behavior has a positive intention behind it.

We do things because they give us something in return. Uncover what those are if you want to utilize this secret of success.

How to Apply It

A powerful way to change unhelpful behaviors is to explore the intentions behind them. Look back and understand what is happening and what to do.

Each week, reflect and write down what you learned, what you avoided, and what you are going to change the next week.

Read books on self improvement, particularly in areas you wish to improve. For example, Brene Brown has great content on vulnerability.

4. Be an Absolute Yes or No

Is it possible that you are trying to fail instead of succeed? You may not realize it, but this may be the case.

Often we fear committing fully to our success because we fear what it means to commit 100%.

One powerful idea I picked up was the concept of being a very clear absolute yes or an absolute no to things. It’s a simple concept but one that creates immense clarity and saves time and effort.

This creates space for two things to happen in your life:

The first is to avoid anything which is heavy and a chore. The second is to leave space and time for you to give everything to the things you are an absolute yes to.

How to Apply It

Ask yourself honestly: What are you an absolute yes to right now? And which things are an absolute no?

If you’re reading a book you don’t like, put it down and start reading something more useful or interesting to you. It’s okay to not finish a mediocre book!

If you’re in a job that you really dislike, stop trying to force it and accept that it’s an absolute no. Think through what an absolute yes might be and start adjusting to make it happen.

5. Seek Advice From People Who Know More

The hidden secret behind many successful people is that they are not successful on their own. They have advisors, coaches, family members, and mentors all helping them along the way.

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An unfortunate characteristic of our time is that we try to do things on our own too often. A much faster way is to seek the counsel of wise people.

Who knows more than you? Who knows what works and doesn’t?

To get the most out of this secret of success, find those people and ask them to share those fundamentals with you.

How to Apply It

For each area of your life that you wish to be successful in, come up with some ideas of who can help you along the way.

The first thing I would recommend is to hire an accredited and professional life coach. They can help you strategize better and achieve your goals faster than you would on your own.

Another example comes with learning a language. If you want to learn a language faster, find a native speaker to tutor you once per week for an hour. It shouldn’t cost a lot and will speed up your progress.

6. Pick up the Right Mindset

What do the world’s top psychologists recommend when it comes to being successful?

It’s called a growth mindset[1].

Carol Dweck, in her seminal work Mindset, shares countless examples of the two mindsets people generally have: a fixed or a growth mindset.

Individuals with a fixed mindset have a generally rigid perspective on their talents and abilities. They believe that their intelligence and talent is fixed. Genetic. Unchangeable.

Individuals with a growth mindset have an open, more hopeful perspective on their talents and capabilities. They believe that they can learn new things and improve at the areas they are weak in[2].

Secret of success: have a growth mindset

     

    Having a growth mindset is a marker of success. By always seeking to learn, no matter the position, emotion, or outcome you have in life, you are constantly gaining insights and experience.

    Even if things don’t go as you wish, and you fail miserably, the individual with a growth mindset seeks to learn first rather than succeed or fail.

    Do you see how valuable this is? How do you stop someone who always learns and grows from any experience or setback?

    How to Apply It

    For this secret of success, focus your goals more on learning and development than simple success or failure.

    For example, if you’re fearful of public speaking, focus on how you can improve rather than be perfect at it. What can you learn? Who from?

    If you feel you are not a very confident person, focus on how you can model those who are. Every master was once a beginner. What could make you a bit more confident today?

    It’s never too late to change. Here’s the proof: How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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    7. Learn How Successful People Plan

    A vague goal leads to procrastination and overwhelm.

    By breaking your success down into clear steps and milestones, you allow yourself to celebrate the small wins along the way and feel more motivated.

    Success takes longer than we think, and this allows you stay focused along the way.

    How to Apply It

    Write your goals down and check if they are vague and general, or specific and time bound. Bring them closer to reality by setting them on a gradient. What is a clear sign of 10% progress being made?

    For example, if you want to be a successful YouTuber with 1 million subscribers, break it down. What does 5% look like? What do you need to do to achieve that? When?

    Schedule these milestones into your diary so you don’t forget. Set up reminders everywhere so it’s not left to chance.

    8. Understand the Benefits of Benevolence

    Contributing to the world in some meaningful way can make you more successful, but it can also help others become successful, so this is a great secret of success.

    And we all know that our existence is very fragile and limited. Who knows how much more time we have left?

    What are you leaving behind?

    What purpose does the money you’re making serve beyond paying the bills?

    What matters to you?

    How to Apply It

    Make a clear list on paper of causes you are interested in or care about. Research them and find some organizations or people to support.

    This could be by becoming an advisor and sharing your skills and expertise. In my company, we equip young people from low income backgrounds for life beyond the classroom. We have a group of experts on our advisory board who critique, challenge and support us. It helps us in a very meaningful way, and allows them to contribute, too.

    You could also make a monthly donation. Even something as small as $3/month does make a difference.

    9. Play Hard to Work Hard

    The fact is you do have to work hard to achieve things in life. It takes long hours of work over long periods of time.

    But wouldn’t you much rather have fun and play, like you did as a kid?

    Early in my career, I mistakenly believed I needed to work really really hard all the time to achieve success.

    This is true, but the endless “working hard” can create resistance. My to-do lists seemed never-ending. Just thinking about work drained my energy, let alone doing it.

    So I did what so many of us do: avoid, procrastinate, and delay. Until I learned this little secret: What if I replaced the word “work” and focused on “play”? There would be no hustle, just a curious human on an adventure.

    How to Apply It

    Where in your life are you making things mentally tiring and complex? How could you approach your work in a more playful and curious way?

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    For example, if you want to build productive habits like journaling everyday, how can you make it more fun? Could you use glitter and crayons? Could you treat it like an art class in school?

    10. Work Less But Do More

    Jim Rohn once said:

    “A lot of people don’t do well simply because they major in minor things.”

    Basically, this means that most people focus on small, unimportant things and don’t give the majority of their energy to the larger actions that make a real difference[3].

    For this secret of success, ask yourself which actions will offer the biggest impact on you goal.

    How to Apply It

    Not all action is created equal. Review what you are doing and where you spend most of your time in trying to achieve your goals.

    For example, if you’re trying to get lean and toned, what is the number one habit that has the biggest impact on your success?

    If you’re trying to build a positive culture in your workplace, what simple thing can you do that has the greatest success?

    11. Focus on Process, Not End Results

    What if I told you success actually isn’t what you should aim for, but something else instead?

    We focus on the success we want, and these things are important: building a business, becoming healthier, more fulfilled, more positive, etc.

    However, these end outcomes will only keep us happy for so long. These things are not where your real value and growth lie.

    By focusing on the end results, we dampen our efforts and become trapped in a fixed mindset of succeeding or failing. It sets you up for a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.

    Instead, what the world’s top performers realize is that it’s much better to focus on the quantity and repetitions, not the outcomes.

    Writing 1 book every year is more important than the perfect bestselling book. Making 100 cold calls every day to your target customers is more important than the perfect pitch.

    How to Apply It

    Instead of trying to craft the perfect habit or result, focus on improving the process that creates those outcomes.

    For example, if you want to become a great midfielder in soccer, focus on improving your skills and technique every day instead of dreaming about the perfect high paid contract.

    If you want to launch an acclaimed business, focus on creating the small viable product and selling to 1,000 customers first instead of trying to craft the perfect product no one really wants.

    Final Thoughts

    Choosing one secret of success to get your started will make it easier to achieve your short and long term goals.

    Follow these steps, practice them every day, and measure your progress. Gradually, you’ll get closer to success in anything you want.

    More on the Secret of Success

    Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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    Reference

    More by this author

    Keshav Bhatt

    Writer, Social Entrepreneur, Accredited Life Coach & NLP Practitioner

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    Last Updated on July 21, 2021

    17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd

    17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd

    If you are like most people, you probably have big goals and dreams that you would like to succeed in — you want to be the top in your career, live a healthy lifestyle, or flourish in your relationships.

    Everyone dreams of a positive future, but most people don’t realize the secret to a truly successful life:

    You determine your future in the way you spend your everyday moments. If you want to be a successful person, you must consistently develop good daily habits. As Aristotle pointed out:

    “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”.

    Building positive daily habits is a huge challenge, but can you imagine the amazing things you could accomplish with just a little commitment and determination?

    Creating lasting, healthy habits is the real key difference between people who are successful in life and those who are unsuccessful.

    You might be wondering which specific habits make the biggest difference. Not to worry, I’ve compiled a comparison list to help you get a jump start on a successful future.

    1. Successful people embrace change. Unsuccessful people fear change.

    Change is a constant for all of humanity, and it is important that you develop a positive relationship with it.

    When unexpected or unwelcome changes arise, ask yourself how you can embrace it instead of running away. A few practical ways to reverse a change-fearing mindset include:

    • Take a moment to recognize and address any fears associated with the upcoming change.
    • Communicate with a person you trust about your negative feelings toward change.
    • Practice positive thinking, which you can read about in the next section.

    2. Successful people exude joy. Unsuccessful people think, say and do negative things.

    A joyful, positive disposition can seem like a distant reality in today’s cynical world, but it may be easier to achieve than you think. All you have to do is notice the good things around you and practice being thankful.

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    Mindfulness and gratitude are not just buzz words – choosing a positive attitude can honestly change your life. Many studies have found that thankfulness leads to greater happiness. Furthermore, research indicates that gratitude may even have a lasting positive impact on the brain and overall mental health.[1]

    3. Successful people forgive others. Unsuccessful people hold grudges.

    As a human being, you have likely been offended or hurt by others plenty of times. Don’t give in to the temptation to hold a grudge. Let it go.

    Note that forgiving someone does not equate to giving up your boundaries (which are very important) or even admitting that the offending party is right. You should choose to let go for your own peace of mind.

    4. Successful people track progress. Unsuccessful people just criticize.

    Some kinds of criticism, such as constructive criticism, are good for personal and professional development. The kind of criticism I’m talking about is the pessimistic, nagging, unhelpful variety. This is the kind of criticism in play when you are unfairly harsh to yourself or others.

    Toss unfounded criticisms aside and consider tracking your “wins” or your progresses, no matter how small. Take mental notes or keep a progress journal.

    If you have a solid sense of what you have achieved, you will be less tempted to be hard on yourself.

    5. Successful people share information, data and ideas. Unsuccessful people hoard.

    If you have useful information or generate brilliant ideas on the regular, your first instinct may be to keep it all to yourself for personal gain and solo recognition.

    Instead of hoarding bright ideas, share them with your team. Your talents will be on display for the team, and the team will be able to support you and make your ideas a reality.

    6. Successful people are humble. Unsuccessful people talk more than they listen.

    Humility is key. The ability to listen to other people, really listen and understand, is essential to success in both work and relationships — and to listen you have to be humble.

    Everyone has experienced the frustration of being in a one-sided conversation. When someone approaches you with a question or concern, put your own world aside for just a moment and give them the kindness of your full attention.

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    7. Successful people take risks. Unsuccessful people take the easy way out.

    The next time your heart is racing and you want to walk away, consider embracing the risk. You never know what might happen if you take a chance.

    Embracing risks looks like accepting the speaking engagement even though it seems a little scary. Success takes the courageous route, not the easy route.

    8. Successful people learn, improve and read every day. Unsuccessful people stop learning.

    Instead of binge-watching a show tonight, save an hour before bed to read a book and expand your mind.

    Unsuccessful people are afraid to be flexible – they don’t challenge themselves to learn new things. Avoid this pitfall by exposing yourself to new thoughts and ideas every day.

    9. Successful people handle problems well. Unsuccessful people act before they think.

    The next time you run into a problem or even an emergency, try to work through your initial panic reaction with a few deep breaths.

    Instead of acting rashly, think through your next actions as quickly but as logically as you can.

    Learning to handle problems thoughtfully is an absolutely essential tool in the successful person’s toolbox (that’s you!).

    10. Successful people accept responsibility for their failures. Unsuccessful people blame others.

    Along with a previous tip about humility, this is one of the hardest things you’ll ever learn to do – but also the most rewarding. When you’ve failed, you must fight the urge to pass the blame. Successful people are able to fail honestly and gracefully.

    And, hey, don’t feel bad about failing. Some of the most successful people in the world have failed too many times to count. It’s all a part of the process.

    You can check out this article for more tips on how to fail well:

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    How Failure Helps You To Succeed and Grow

    11. Successful people work with passion and commitment. Unsuccessful people have a sense of entitlement.

    A short and sweet lesson for you:

    You should never expect to achieve the things you want without working hard.

    Follow your passion and stay committed to pursuing it. Work hard and stick to your habits every day. You’ll earn your reward.

    12. Successful people spend time with the right people. Unsuccessful people think they already know it all.

    A lot of people miss out on useful relationships and information sharing because they think they can do it all alone.

    Spend time with people who inspire you, spur you to be a better person, and remind you that you can’t go it alone.

    13. Successful people make to-do lists and maintain proper life balance. Unsuccessful people waste their time.

    Ah, time management. Unsuccessful people never master the art of organization and planning.

    Here are a few tips for you when it comes to time management:

    • Make to-do lists. Seriously, this will help you. Make time to do it every morning, evening, or whenever you are able.
    • Keep track of your time. Are you happy with the way you are currently balancing things? What changes can you make?
    • Keep a calendar full of your long-term goals (see next tip).

    14. Successful people write down goals and think long term about their burning desires. Unsuccessful people get distracted every day.

    Why is it so important to keep a long-term goal calendar? Here’s the deal:

    The things you are passionate about today need a backbone.

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    Give your passionate ideas sustainability by writing down goals and staying on task instead of succumbing to distraction.

    15. Successful people compliment others. Unsuccessful people try to bring others down to their level.

    There is no greater confidence than saying “no” to sudden jealous or envious feelings and choosing to sincerely admire someone’s talents instead.

    Unsuccessful people live in a world driven by competition, but successful people know that building people up is far more rewarding than bringing them down.

    16. Successful people want others to succeed. Unsuccessful people secretly hope they fail.

    In the same vein as the point above, this tip is all about good intentions.

    Care for the people around you. Encourage them toward their successes. Hoping that others fail will not help you at all.

    17. Successful people know their purpose and mission. Unsuccessful people don’t know what they want to be.

    The last thing that differentiates successful people from unsuccessful people is one of the most important:

    Keep your mission in mind.

    Don’t be swayed to and fro by passing emotions and events. Know who you are and pursue your dreams wholeheartedly.

    Final thoughts

    Above all, stay confident. Truly believe that you can be and are successful. Strive to prove it in your day-to-day habits and activities!

    What are you waiting for? Choose one of the habits above and get started today.

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    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Berkeley University of California: How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain

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