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Last Updated on October 29, 2018

11 Secrets to Becoming Successful at Anything You Can Imagine

11 Secrets to Becoming Successful at Anything You Can Imagine

You’re here because you want to be successful. But why aren’t you there yet? What is stopping you?

I’m here to tell you. Success is not by accident, far from it. But there are some proven ways to achieve it.

In this article, I’ve done the heavy lifting for you of finding out the 11 actionable steps you can take to become successful.

Once you follow these, you’ll not only become more successful, but be able to apply them to any goal you set for yourself.

So here are 11 secrets to becoming successful at anything you can imagine:

1. The Math Formula That Explains Success

There’s a really smart psychologist called Kurt Lewin who summarized why we act the way we do, through a simple formula.

I’m simplifying his theory, but the basic equation he came up with was:

P = F(P,E)

Translated, what he surmized was:

“Behaviour is a function of the person and his or her environment.”

Now academic theories are great but how does this equation help you?

Think of it this way. When you have a really important deadline, where are you more likely to be productive?

In a quiet room at your local library or sitting on the couch with the TV on?

Quite clearly, the former.

Where we are, affects the way we behave. Some places more so than others, but you get the idea.

What you should do now:

If you want to be successful, put yourself in environments that are likely to create the behaviours you want. Here’s some ideas:

  • If you want to get more in touch with religious or spiritual practices, go to a temple/place of worship once per week for 30 minutes and meditate there.
  • If you want to improve your strength and stamina, go to a gym class everyday instead of trying to workout at home on your own.

2. Create Your Own Success Formula

Have you ever started on a big goal or path, been really motivated but somewhere along the line – fallen off track?

One big mistake many people make that leads to falling off track is a lack of measuring their progress.

I used to do this a lot in the gym.

I’d spend hours and hours each week making the effort to get there and workout. I’d share the classic photo of me at the gym doing my workout – but you know the truth?

I wasn’t really feeling all that good about it!

Every time I stepped on the scales, I’d dread seeing the result. My progress was up and down and I didn’t understand why.

The fact was, I was leaving too many variables on the table. I failed to appreciate the importance of tracking.

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After working with a coach, I realized I needed to pay closer attention to my diet, workouts and sleep. I started tracking each one carefully and quickly noticed when I was eating too much, not lifting properly or getting enough sleep.

Previously, I would just walk into the gym, pick whichever weight I thought I’d bench pressed the week before or felt I could manage. It was completely random.

By tracking, I learned to ensure I was progressing 1% on the last time.

Can you guess what happened?

I progressed.

What you measure, you manage.

What you should do now:

Whatever it is you’re working towards, ask yourself – how can I track and measure my progress?

For example:

  • If you want to save money, track how much you are spending each week and how much you are saving. Aim to improve it by 5% each month.
  • If you want to learn an instrument, record a video each week of you playing the same song. Each week watch it back to see how you have progressed. Track how many hours you practice in a log.

3. The Key Habit That Multiplies Success

Measuring and managing your progress is important, but as one of my coaching clients once said: “In the absence of reflection, nothing changes”.

For example, let’s say you want to eat healthily and you start tracking your diet. You soon notice that you tend to overeat on weekends.

It’s great to track this but what are you going to do about it? What is the deeper underlying reason that you keep behaving this way?

When studying for my diploma in Neuro Linguistic Programming, one of the first things we learned was that every behaviour has a positive intention behind it.

We do things because they give us something in return. Uncover what those are.

What you should do now:

A powerful way to change unhelpful behaviours is to explore the intentions behind them. To look back and understand what is happening and what to do.

  • Each week, reflect and write down what you learned, what you avoided, and what you are going to change the next week.
  • Read books on self improvement, particularly in areas you wish to improve. For example, Brene Brown has great content on vulnerability.

4. A Simple Question That Doubles Your Commitment

This might surprise you. But are you trying to fail instead of succeed?

Often we fear committing fully to our success because we fear what it means to commit 100%.

One powerful idea I picked up (from Derek Sivers) was the concept of being a very clear absolute yes or an absolute no to things.

It’s a simple concept but one which creates immense clarity and saves you so much time and effort.

This creates space for two things to happen in your life:

The first is to avoid anything which is heavy and a chore. The second is to leave space and time for you to give everything to the things you are an absolute yes to.

Sometimes we do things half heartedly and this leads to stagnation and mediocrity.

But to succeed, you really do have to remain 100% committed in your intentions and actions.

What you should do now:

Ask yourself honestly:

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What are you an absolute yes to right now? And what things are an absolute no?

  • If you’re reading a book you don’t like, put it down and start reading something more useful or interesting to you. It’s okay to not finish a mediocre book!
  • If you’re in a job that you really dislike, stop trying to force it and accept that it’s an absolute no. Think through what an absolute yes might be and start adjusting to make it happen

5. Drastically Increase Your Brain Power

The hidden secret behind many successful people is that they are not successful on their own. They have advisors, coaches, family members, mentors all helping them along the way.

An unfortunate characteristic of our time is that we try to do things on our own too often. A much faster way however is to seek the counsel of wise people.

Who knows more than you? Who knows what works and doesn’t?

Find those people and ask them to share those fundamentals with you.

What you should do now:

For each area of your life that you wish to be successful in, come up with some ideas of who can help you along the way.

  • The first thing I would recommend is to hire an accredited and professional life coach. They can help you strategise better and achieve your goals faster than you would on your own.
  • If you want to learn a language faster, find a native speaker to tutor you once per week for 1 hour. It shouldn’t cost a lot and will speed up your progress a lot.
  • Subscribe to YouTube channels that share useful ideas and information. I’d also recommend others like TED talks, the SciShow, and Crash Course.
  • Develop your Digital Brain — this will drastically increase your brain power and boost memory.

6. Pick Up the Right Mindset That Shapes Our Lives

What do the world’s top psychologists recommend when it comes to being successful?

Is there a way of thinking you could download that makes you 10x more likely to win?

The short answer, yes!

It’s called a growth mindset.

Carol Dweck, in her seminal work ‘Mindset’, shares countless examples of the two mindsets people generally have – a fixed or a growth mindset.

Individuals with a fixed mindset have a generally rigid perspective on their talents and abilities. They believe that their intelligence and talent is fixed. Genetic. Unchangeable.

Individuals with a growth mindset have an open, more hope filled perspective on their talents and capabilities. They believe that they can learn new things and improve at the areas they are weak on if they put the time in.

I’m sure you can guess which of the two is a marker of success.

The growth mindset.

By always seeking to learn, no matter the position, emotion or outcome you have in life – you are constantly gaining insights and experience.

Even if things don’t go as you wish, and you fail miserably, the individual with a growth mindset seeks to learn first, rather than succeed or fail.

Do you see how valuable this is? How do you stop someone who always learns and grows from any experience or setback?

What you should do now:

Focus your goals more on learning and development than simple success or failure.

For example:

  • If you’re fearful of public speaking, focus on how you can improve, rather than be perfect at it. What can you learn? Who from?
  • If you feel you are not a very confident person, focus on how you can model those who are. Every master was once a beginner. What could make you a bit more confident today?

Think you’re too late to change? No way! Here’s the proof:

How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

7. Learn How Successful People Plan

I’m part of a private invite only mastermind group. Each week we share our insights, reflections and milestones with each other for accountability.

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Instead of setting a vague goal far off in the horizon, we challenge each other to make them time bound and manageable.

Want to be a successful entrepreneur? OK, what is 10% of that goal being achieved? How do you know when you are at 50%? What are the steps to get there?

A vague goal leads to procrastination and overwhelm.

By breaking your success down into clear steps and milestones, you allow yourself to celebrate the small wins along the way and feel more motivated.

Success takes longer than we think and this allows you stay focused along the way.

What you should do now:

Write your goals down and check if they are vague and general, or specific and time bound. Bring them closer to reality by setting them on a gradient. What is a clear sign of 10% progress being made?

  • If you want to be a successful YouTuber with 1 million subscribers – break it down. What does 5% look like? What do you need to do to achieve that? When?
  • Schedule these milestones into your diary so you don’t forget. Set up reminders everywhere so it’s not left to chance.

8. Understand the Benefits of Benevolence

I’ve broken down the 6 fundamental pillars of a meaningful life in one of my courses. One of them is contribution. It’s very easy to get stuck in the grind of our day to day.

And we all know that our existence is very fragile and limited. Who knows how much more time we have left?

So what are you leaving behind?

The money you’re making right now, what purpose does it serve beyond paying the bills?

What matters to you?

What you should do now:

Make a clear list on paper of causes you are interested in or care about. Research them and find some organisations or people to support.

This could be by:

  • Becoming an advisor and sharing your skills and expertise. In my company, we equip young people from low income backgrounds for life beyond the classroom. We have a group of experts on our advisory board who critique, challenge and support us. It helps us in a very meaningful way, and allows them to contribute too.
  • Making a monthly donation. Even something as small as $3/month, does make a difference.

9. Don’t Work Hard (But Do This Instead)

The fact is you do have to work hard to achieve things in life. It takes long hours of work, over long periods of time.

But wouldn’t you much rather have fun and play, like you did as a kid?

One huge, secret hack I stumbled on early on in my career (with the help of a life coach I worked with) was playing over hustling.

I mistakenly believed I needed to work really really hard all the time to achieve success.

Don’t get me wrong. This is obviously true.

But in the back of mind it created a bit of resistance.

My to-do lists seemed endless. Just thinking about work drained my energy, let alone doing it.

So I did what so many of us do. Avoid, procrastinate, and delay.

Until I learned this little secret.

What if I replace the word ‘work’, and focused on ‘play’?

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I wouldn’t see it as hard, face crunching work. I’d see what I do as a fun game I was trying to win at.

There would be no hustle. Just a curious kid (with a beard) on an adventure.

What you should do now:

Where in your life are you making things mentally tiring and complex? How could you approach your work in a more playful and curious way?

For example:

  • If you want to build productive habits like journalling everyday. How could you make it more fun? Could you use glitter and crayons? Could you treat it like an art class in school?
  • One of my goals to be more active is to do 10,000 steps everyday. Sometimes, it seems like a chore. So I took my 5 year old niece with me and it immediately became a fun game of hide & seek.

10. Work Less But Do and Succeed More

Sorry to be cliche and quote Tony Robbins in my success article, but he said something powerful in a clip I saw recently:

Average people, major in minor things.

The moment I heard this, a surge of insight whizzed through my brain. Like all great ideas, it made total sense to me.

I kicked myself. If only I’d seen this sooner!

Which actions that I take, give me the biggest impact on my goal? What is easy to do, and achieves the most success?

What you should do now:

Not all action is created equal. Reviewing what you are doing, and where you spend most of your time in trying to achieve your goals.

For example:

  • If you’re trying to get lean and toned, what is the number one habit that has the biggest impact on your success?
  • If you’re trying to build a positive culture in your workplace, what simple thing can you do that has the greatest success?

11. Focus On Process, Not End Results

And finally, what if I told you success actually isn’t what you should aim for but something else instead?

I know, you’d be surprised right. Why would I dissuade you from trying to succeed?

Hear me out:

We focus on the success we want, and these are important – building a business, becoming healthier, more fulfilled, more positive etc.

However, these end outcomes will only keep us happy for so long. These things are not where your real value and growth lies.

By focusing on these end results, we dampen our efforts and become trapped in a fixed mindset of succeeding or failing. It sets you up for a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.

Instead, what the world’s top performers realize is that it’s much better to focus on the quantity and repetitions – not the outcomes.

Writing 1 book every year is more important than the perfect bestselling book. Making 100 cold calls every day to your target customers is more important than the perfect pitch.

What you should next:

Instead of trying to craft the perfect habit or result. Focus on improving the process that creates those outcomes.

For example:

  • If you want to become a great midfielder in soccer, focus on improving your skills and technique everyday. Instead of dreaming about the perfect high paid contract.
  • If you want to launch an acclaimed business, focus on creating the small viable product and selling to 1,000 customers first. Instead of trying to craft the perfect product no one really wants.

Conclusion

If you want to become successful at anything you can imagine, follow these 11 steps:

  1. Be in the best environments possible.
  2. Track and measure your progress along the way.
  3. Reflect regularly on what is going well and what needs to change.
  4. Ensure you have done all you can to stay 100% committed. Be hell yes or no.
  5. Have experts and advisors around you to help.
  6. Cultivate a curious and open growth mindset where you are passionate about learning.
  7. Create clear milestones of progress so you stay motivated and focused.
  8. Give back and contribute to causes you care about to create a strong sense of purpose to your life.
  9. Focus on enjoying the journey and having fun along the way. Not just when you achieve “success”.
  10. Spend your time and energy on the fundamental things which bring the biggest rewards.
  11. Let go of perfect outcomes and pay attention to improving your process to success.

Follow these steps, practice them every day and measure your progress. Gradually you’ll get closer to success in anything you want.

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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Keshav Bhatt

Writer, Social Entrepreneur, Accredited Life Coach & NLP Practitioner

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Last Updated on December 12, 2018

Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again

Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again

The statistics are dismal. A recent study has found that 69% of people feel trapped in the same old routine, and only 3 out of 10 people are happy with their lives.[1] People are feeling stuck.

Some are feeling stuck in their careers, feeling like they’re too far along one path to make a change.Some are feeling stuck in their personal lives. The toll of the daily grind sucks most of their time and energy. So their relationships, self-care, and personal goals get lost in the shuffle of the treadmill existence.

When people come across these challenges of feeling stuck, the feeling sometimes doesn’t go away. It often intensifies as time goes on. As the stuck feeling intensifies, some people choose to settle. Subconsciously, without even realizing it, they end up pushing their dreams and goals further and further down.

Others, if the feeling of being stuck intensifies to an unbearable point, choose to make changes. They may choose to pivot in their careers, even after years at a successful job. They may end up making big changes in their relationships, or start putting their fitness at a higher priority. They may make drastic changes to finally feel free. These changes can be incredibly difficult to make, especially if a person has lived many years in a certain lifestyle.

Feeling stuck is NOT fun. I’ve been there. I get it.

Why Are You Feeling Stuck?

People feel stuck once in a while. There are many causes of feeling stuck. Many people work toward goals that don’t actually align with who they are at the core or what they truly desire. I call these “False Objectives”.

Living a life of False Objectives can cause people to feel very stuck and frustrated. People can build lives that are very “successful” according to society; but if you’ve built your life based on False Objectives, you’re not going to feel fulfilled. You’ll end up feeling stuck.

Another cause of feeling stuck is not knowing who you are. If you don’t understand how you’re innately wired – your strengths, your gifts, your talents, your passions – it’s tough to make decisions that enable you to maximize those. It’s tough to reach your full potential if you don’t know who you are.

You can feel stuck if you’re doing work that doesn’t allow you to maximize your innate strengths. If you’re doing work that doesn’t bring out the best in who you are at the core, you’ll likely feel some dissatisfaction and you won’t reach your full potential.

Other people feel stuck because they haven’t surrounded themselves with mentors or peers who have achieved what they want to achieve. They stay in certain routines while craving to do life differently. As Jim Rohn says,

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“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

If your goal is to run a marathon and you’re spending most evenings and weekends drinking beer with your coworkers, you’re probably not going to run that marathon. If your goal is to live a location-independent lifestyle and work anytime from anywhere, but everyone in your social circle is at traditional jobs; it’ll be tough to break free from the 9-5 mentality.

How Feeling Stuck Screws You up Secretly

Feeling stuck screws up people’s lives. The consequences of feeling stuck can range from mild to severe. People may feel a mild discontentment with life and end up succumbing to the idea that life is “okay,” and settle. (Nancy’s story will resonate with you.) They may never reach their full potential, their highest levels of happiness and satisfaction. And they may not make the impact on the world that they could make, and have a looming sense that there could be “more” to life.

Often, though, the feeling of being stuck comes with much larger consequences. Feeling stuck can hinder career growth and contribute to disrupted marriages. It can lead to huge midlife crises.

The feeling can (and frequently does) increase as the years go on, leading to significant regrets about unfulfilled dreams. In fact, the number one regret of the dying, according to Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, is, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” She writes:[2]

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Many people had not honored even a half of their dreams, and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”

    How to Approach Life Differently

    Thankfully, some highly effective strategies can prevent you from feeling stuck. Using these strategies can help you avoid significant problems in your life. It’s different than conventional living, and it works.

    Commonly, people live with many set routines. While certain routines are helpful, becoming stuck in the daily grind routine can get frustrating. Many people eat roughly the same foods each week, go to the same place each day, talk to the same people, keep the same commitments, and end up living life on autopilot.

    It’s tough to feel like you’re progressing forward when each day is spent doing the same uninspiring routine. In order to avoid feeling stuck, it’s important to live intentionally. It’s crucial to live in the driver’s seat of your life and get out of autopilot mode.

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    First, ditch the False Objectives. Just because everyone in your family are doctors doesn’t mean that’s the best path for you. Just because all your friends are married with a big house, a white picket fence, and 2 kids doesn’t mean that’s the best path for you. Just because everyone you know works 9-5 doesn’t mean that’s the best path for you. It’s not easy to design your life intentionally, but it’s critical in order to avoid feeling stuck.

    Remember, the majority of people feel stuck. So, if you’re doing things like the majority of people, you’ll likely feel stuck, too. You’ll need to think differently and create your life differently.

    Two Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day

    In order to intentionally design your life, avoid falling prey to False Objectives, and prevent feeling stuck, there are questions to ask yourself every day. These questions can help you stay focused on what matters most to you, help you avoid feeling stuck and frustrated, and create the best life possible.

    1. Why am I going to do what I’m going to do today?

    If you’re showing up to work each day and giving your years to your job, it’s important that your “why” is deeper than “to pay the bills.” Knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing can help you make choices that inspire and motivate you.

    By asking yourself why you’re going to do what you’re going to do today, you will be living intentionally. In today’s incredibly busy, easily distracted world, living intentionally and focusing every day on what matters most is unique.

    When you choose to ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing every day, it will help you stay focused on what’s truly important to you. This can prevent you from getting stuck.

    2. What would future want me to do today?

    Imagine yourself, in the future, as the best version of you. What would that version of you want you to do today? Making decisions from the viewpoint of the future you can help you move forward and prevent the stuck and frustrated feeling.

    When you make decisions from the viewpoint of future you, you will develop perseverance and reap the benefits of delayed gratification. Today’s society is very focused on instant gratification, but a lot of great things in life take time and effort. Learning to take small steps forward by making decisions from the future you’s standpoint can help you progress toward your biggest goals and dreams.

    How to Get Unstuck

    After asking yourself the two questions, work on the plan to get unstuck. I’ve personally tried these strategies and they work for me.

    1. Choose goals you truly desire to accomplish

    This might sound obvious but we all get sucked into False Objectives at times. When you’re setting goals in your career and your personal life, make sure they are goals that matter to you.

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    Working hard toward big achievements that don’t align with your values, priorities, and who you are at the core is a fast-track toward feeling stuck.

    Learn about your strengths, your gifts, and your passions. Choose goals that align with who you are at the core, and work toward goals that align with your inner strengths and gifts. This will help you maximize your potential and minimize the stuck and frustrated feelings.

    2. Watch your mindset

    Often, we think we’re stuck, but the problem is our mindset. Being mindful of our mindset and self-talk is important to living a life of freedom and fulfillment. Work on rephrasing your self-talk in order to improve your mindset.

    For example, if you tell yourself, “I could never start a business,” rephrase it to, “I don’t know how to start a business YET, but I can learn.” If you find yourself saying, “I don’t have enough money to travel,” tell yourself, “I don’t have the money right now, but I can make a plan to save money to travel. Rephrasing your self-talk can help you see opportunities and possibilities instead of feeling stuck.

    Occasionally, even the most driven people have days where they feel unmotivated. Check out this article for tips to get motivated when you feel like doing nothing:

    What Motivates You And How to Always Stay Motivated

    Those tips can help you break free from the rut.

    3. Get out of your comfort zone and add some excitement to your day

    Shaking up your daily routine and adding some excitement to your days can help you get unstuck.

    While breaking out of your daily routine can be uncomfortable, it can be a great way to invigorate your life. You can start by getting out of your comfort zone in small ways. Here are 10 ways to step out of your comfort zone and overcome your fear. As Brian Tracy says,

    “Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”

    Getting out of your comfort zone and experiencing growth can help you to continue to move forward and prevent you from getting stuck.

    4. Surround yourself with people who have done what you aspire to do

    It’s easy to get stuck if you’re trying to accomplish something and you’re struggling to believe it’s possible to accomplish it.

    Instead of letting yourself be isolated and stuck, commit to learning from people who have done what you aspire to do. This can help you believe it’s possible to achieve the same goals. It can also help you to be inspired to progress forward instead of staying in stuck-land.

    You can seek out a mentor, or even read inspiring books or listen to motivating podcasts by the people who have achieved your biggest goals and dreams.

    Final Thoughts

    It’s frustrating to feel stuck. But you don’t need to stay stuck if you know the right ways to break free from the rut.

    Practice living intentionally by asking yourself the 2 critical questions:

    • Why am I going to do what I’m going to do today?
    • What would future want me to do today?

    When you constantly reflect about what you truly want and whether you’re doing the things that lead you to what you desire, you’ll feel less stuck gradually.

    Featured photo credit: Krists Luhaers via unsplash.com

    Reference

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