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Last Updated on November 27, 2020

The Secret of Success to Achieving Anything You Want Revealed

The Secret of Success to Achieving Anything You Want Revealed

You’re here because you want to find a secret of success. Where’s it hiding? Why do some people seem to know all the secrets while others continue floundering?

I’m here to tell you that there are some proven ways to achieve success and become wildly successful.

In this article, I’ve done the heavy lifting to discover 11 secrets of success you can take to become a successful person.

Once you follow these, you’ll not only become more successful, but you’ll be able to apply them to any goal you set for yourself.

1. Use This Math Formula

The psychologist Kurt Lewin summarized why we act the way we do through a simple formula, and everyone can use this formula to up their chances of walking the path to success.

I’m simplifying his theory, but the basic equation he came up with is as follows:

B = f(P, E) where an individual’s behavior (B) is a function (f) of the the person (P), including their history, personality and motivation, and their environment (E).

Translated, what he surmised was:

“Behaviour is a function of the person and his or her environment.”

Now academic theories are great, but how does this equation help you?

How to Apply It

Think of it this way. When you have a really important deadline, where are you more likely to be productive? In a quiet room at your local library, or sitting on the couch with the TV on?

The answer is going to depend on how you work best—in silence or with background noise.

Where we are affects the way we behave, but it is all dependent on our personality.

If you want to use this secret of success, put yourself in environments that are likely to create the behaviors you want. For example, if you want to improve your physical stamina, a gym is probably better than your bedroom. If you want to improve your spirituality, a yoga/meditation studio may be a good choice.

2. Create Your Own Success Formula

Have you ever started on a big goal or path and been really motivated with your secret of success, but somewhere along the line you fell off track?

One big mistake many people make that leads to falling off track is a lack of measuring their progress.

I used to do this a lot in the gym. I’d spend hours and hours each week making the effort to get there and work out. But I wasn’t really feeling all that good about it!

Every time I stepped on the scale, I’d dread seeing the result. My progress was up and down, and I didn’t understand why. The fact was, I was leaving too many variables on the table. I failed to appreciate the importance of tracking.

After working with a coach, I realized I needed to pay closer attention to my diet, workouts, and sleep. I started tracking each one carefully and quickly noticed when I was eating too much, not lifting properly, or not getting enough sleep.

Essentially, what you measure, you manage.

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How to Apply It

Whatever it is you’re working towards, ask yourself: how can I track and measure my progress?

For example, if you want to save money, track how much you are spending each week and how much you are saving. Aim to improve it by 5% each month.

If you want to learn an instrument, record a video each week of you playing the same song. Each week watch it back to see how you have progressed. Track how many hours you practice in a log.

3. Explore Intentions Behind Actions

Measuring and managing your progress is important, but as one of my coaching clients once said: “In the absence of reflection, nothing changes”.

For example, let’s say you want to eat healthily and you start tracking your diet. You soon notice that you tend to overeat on weekends.

It’s great to track this, but what are you going to do about it? What is the deeper underlying reason that you keep behaving this way?

When studying for my diploma in Neuro Linguistic Programming, one of the first things we learned was that every behavior has a positive intention behind it.

We do things because they give us something in return. Uncover what those are if you want to utilize this secret of success.

How to Apply It

A powerful way to change unhelpful behaviors is to explore the intentions behind them. Look back and understand what is happening and what to do.

Each week, reflect and write down what you learned, what you avoided, and what you are going to change the next week.

Read books on self improvement, particularly in areas you wish to improve. For example, Brene Brown has great content on vulnerability.

4. Be an Absolute Yes or No

Is it possible that you are trying to fail instead of succeed? You may not realize it, but this may be the case.

Often we fear committing fully to our success because we fear what it means to commit 100%.

One powerful idea I picked up was the concept of being a very clear absolute yes or an absolute no to things. It’s a simple concept but one that creates immense clarity and saves time and effort.

This creates space for two things to happen in your life:

The first is to avoid anything which is heavy and a chore. The second is to leave space and time for you to give everything to the things you are an absolute yes to.

How to Apply It

Ask yourself honestly: What are you an absolute yes to right now? And which things are an absolute no?

If you’re reading a book you don’t like, put it down and start reading something more useful or interesting to you. It’s okay to not finish a mediocre book!

If you’re in a job that you really dislike, stop trying to force it and accept that it’s an absolute no. Think through what an absolute yes might be and start adjusting to make it happen.

5. Seek Advice From People Who Know More

The hidden secret behind many successful people is that they are not successful on their own. They have advisors, coaches, family members, and mentors all helping them along the way.

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An unfortunate characteristic of our time is that we try to do things on our own too often. A much faster way is to seek the counsel of wise people.

Who knows more than you? Who knows what works and doesn’t?

To get the most out of this secret of success, find those people and ask them to share those fundamentals with you.

How to Apply It

For each area of your life that you wish to be successful in, come up with some ideas of who can help you along the way.

The first thing I would recommend is to hire an accredited and professional life coach. They can help you strategize better and achieve your goals faster than you would on your own.

Another example comes with learning a language. If you want to learn a language faster, find a native speaker to tutor you once per week for an hour. It shouldn’t cost a lot and will speed up your progress.

6. Pick up the Right Mindset

What do the world’s top psychologists recommend when it comes to being successful?

It’s called a growth mindset[1].

Carol Dweck, in her seminal work Mindset, shares countless examples of the two mindsets people generally have: a fixed or a growth mindset.

Individuals with a fixed mindset have a generally rigid perspective on their talents and abilities. They believe that their intelligence and talent is fixed. Genetic. Unchangeable.

Individuals with a growth mindset have an open, more hopeful perspective on their talents and capabilities. They believe that they can learn new things and improve at the areas they are weak in[2].

Secret of success: have a growth mindset

     

    Having a growth mindset is a marker of success. By always seeking to learn, no matter the position, emotion, or outcome you have in life, you are constantly gaining insights and experience.

    Even if things don’t go as you wish, and you fail miserably, the individual with a growth mindset seeks to learn first rather than succeed or fail.

    Do you see how valuable this is? How do you stop someone who always learns and grows from any experience or setback?

    How to Apply It

    For this secret of success, focus your goals more on learning and development than simple success or failure.

    For example, if you’re fearful of public speaking, focus on how you can improve rather than be perfect at it. What can you learn? Who from?

    If you feel you are not a very confident person, focus on how you can model those who are. Every master was once a beginner. What could make you a bit more confident today?

    It’s never too late to change. Here’s the proof: How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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    7. Learn How Successful People Plan

    A vague goal leads to procrastination and overwhelm.

    By breaking your success down into clear steps and milestones, you allow yourself to celebrate the small wins along the way and feel more motivated.

    Success takes longer than we think, and this allows you stay focused along the way.

    How to Apply It

    Write your goals down and check if they are vague and general, or specific and time bound. Bring them closer to reality by setting them on a gradient. What is a clear sign of 10% progress being made?

    For example, if you want to be a successful YouTuber with 1 million subscribers, break it down. What does 5% look like? What do you need to do to achieve that? When?

    Schedule these milestones into your diary so you don’t forget. Set up reminders everywhere so it’s not left to chance.

    8. Understand the Benefits of Benevolence

    Contributing to the world in some meaningful way can make you more successful, but it can also help others become successful, so this is a great secret of success.

    And we all know that our existence is very fragile and limited. Who knows how much more time we have left?

    What are you leaving behind?

    What purpose does the money you’re making serve beyond paying the bills?

    What matters to you?

    How to Apply It

    Make a clear list on paper of causes you are interested in or care about. Research them and find some organizations or people to support.

    This could be by becoming an advisor and sharing your skills and expertise. In my company, we equip young people from low income backgrounds for life beyond the classroom. We have a group of experts on our advisory board who critique, challenge and support us. It helps us in a very meaningful way, and allows them to contribute, too.

    You could also make a monthly donation. Even something as small as $3/month does make a difference.

    9. Play Hard to Work Hard

    The fact is you do have to work hard to achieve things in life. It takes long hours of work over long periods of time.

    But wouldn’t you much rather have fun and play, like you did as a kid?

    Early in my career, I mistakenly believed I needed to work really really hard all the time to achieve success.

    This is true, but the endless “working hard” can create resistance. My to-do lists seemed never-ending. Just thinking about work drained my energy, let alone doing it.

    So I did what so many of us do: avoid, procrastinate, and delay. Until I learned this little secret: What if I replaced the word “work” and focused on “play”? There would be no hustle, just a curious human on an adventure.

    How to Apply It

    Where in your life are you making things mentally tiring and complex? How could you approach your work in a more playful and curious way?

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    For example, if you want to build productive habits like journaling everyday, how can you make it more fun? Could you use glitter and crayons? Could you treat it like an art class in school?

    10. Work Less But Do More

    Jim Rohn once said:

    “A lot of people don’t do well simply because they major in minor things.”

    Basically, this means that most people focus on small, unimportant things and don’t give the majority of their energy to the larger actions that make a real difference[3].

    For this secret of success, ask yourself which actions will offer the biggest impact on you goal.

    How to Apply It

    Not all action is created equal. Review what you are doing and where you spend most of your time in trying to achieve your goals.

    For example, if you’re trying to get lean and toned, what is the number one habit that has the biggest impact on your success?

    If you’re trying to build a positive culture in your workplace, what simple thing can you do that has the greatest success?

    11. Focus on Process, Not End Results

    What if I told you success actually isn’t what you should aim for, but something else instead?

    We focus on the success we want, and these things are important: building a business, becoming healthier, more fulfilled, more positive, etc.

    However, these end outcomes will only keep us happy for so long. These things are not where your real value and growth lie.

    By focusing on the end results, we dampen our efforts and become trapped in a fixed mindset of succeeding or failing. It sets you up for a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.

    Instead, what the world’s top performers realize is that it’s much better to focus on the quantity and repetitions, not the outcomes.

    Writing 1 book every year is more important than the perfect bestselling book. Making 100 cold calls every day to your target customers is more important than the perfect pitch.

    How to Apply It

    Instead of trying to craft the perfect habit or result, focus on improving the process that creates those outcomes.

    For example, if you want to become a great midfielder in soccer, focus on improving your skills and technique every day instead of dreaming about the perfect high paid contract.

    If you want to launch an acclaimed business, focus on creating the small viable product and selling to 1,000 customers first instead of trying to craft the perfect product no one really wants.

    Final Thoughts

    Choosing one secret of success to get your started will make it easier to achieve your short and long term goals.

    Follow these steps, practice them every day, and measure your progress. Gradually, you’ll get closer to success in anything you want.

    More on the Secret of Success

    Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

    Reference

    More by this author

    Keshav Bhatt

    Writer, Social Entrepreneur, Accredited Life Coach & NLP Practitioner

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    Last Updated on April 14, 2021

    4 Signs You Have a Victim Mentality (And How to Break out of It)

    4 Signs You Have a Victim Mentality (And How to Break out of It)

    Are you someone who has succumbed to the victim mentality trap? Ask yourself, when bad things happen, do you take responsibility for them, or do you blame other people or the world?

    If it’s the latter, you likely have a problem with the victim complex. When challenges occur in life, it’s easy to let your emotions get the best of you and assume that the world is out to get you.

    It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself occasionally when life gets tough. However, if it gets out of hand, it’s easy to start floundering in victimhood.

    It is impossible to be the driver of your life if all you do is play the victim card. In the end, this is the fastest way to lose your power. You have two choices: believe that life is happening for you or to you.

    What Is a Victim Mentality?

    People who have a victim mentality believe that life happens to them rather than for them. As a result, they are quick to feel victimized when something doesn’t go as planned.

    Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others.

    At its core, a victim mentality is a form of avoidance. It’s a way of saying, “I refuse to take any responsibility for myself or my life.”

    As a result, you may avoid stepping outside of your comfort zone, making difficult decisions, or doing anything to improve the state of your life. In short, you remain stuck and paralyzed by fear. I think we can all agree that this sounds like a bad place to be.

    Steve Maraboli said it best:

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    “The victim mentality will have you dancing with the devil, then complaining that you’re in hell.”

    Unfortunately, there is a huge payoff to adopting this mindset. You are given the space to have a pity party, to ignore messy emotions, and to get sympathy from others. The fact that there are benefits of being a victim makes it difficult to move away from this habit.

    It’s only when you are ready to shift your perspective and see the events of your life as fully in your control that you can step into your power.

    How Do I Know If I Have a Victim Mentality?

    Let’s look at four signs that you have a victim mentality and find ways how to break free from it.

    You Catastrophize All Your Problems

    Individuals who catastrophize problems are always thinking the worst. Catastrophizing your problems is when you allow yourself to believe that even the smallest inconveniences are the end of the world and can be a sign of victim syndrome.[1]

    If you always assume that the worst will happen, the Universe will listen to you and give you precisely what you’re asking for. The next time you catch yourself thinking about how awful something is, work to put your experience into perspective.

    Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” This will help remind you that the outcome may not be as bad as you expect it to be.

    You Feel Powerless

    One of the hardest things to deal with when you live with a victim mentality is feeling helpless. When bad things happen, it’s easy to feel like you have no control over the situation.

    When you find yourself in one of these situations, focus on the things that you can change. Finding something that you can control can help you feel like you have some of your power back, and that’s a big step.

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    Another way to break free from feeling powerless is to practice saying no. You don’t have to do everything that is expected of you. It is okay to put your own needs first.

    You Engage in Negative Self-Talk

    Self-doubt is intimately connected to a victim complex. Once someone falls for the victim mentality, they will subconsciously self-sabotage their best efforts so that they are congruent with their conscious mind.[2]

    If you believe that you aren’t worthy, you will always feel as if the world is out to get you. Destructive beliefs will nourish victim behavior to the point where putting yourself down becomes the norm.

    You Think That the World Is out to Get You

    If you feel like the world is constantly trying to hurt you or make you miserable, you know that you have spiraled into victimhood. Life isn’t out to get you. In fact, it’s always trying to work in your favor if you choose to adopt a growth mindset.

    Sometimes things will happen in life that are out of your control. It’s your job to decide how you are going to respond to those events. When you start seeing challenges as opportunities for growth, you start noticing that life is forcing you to level up, which is a blessing in disguise.

    How to Stop a Victim Mentality

    The first step to breaking out of a victim mentality is understanding and accepting that you have one.

    The next step is to shift your thoughts from feeling like a victim to realizing that you are a survivor. It’s incredibly freeing when you realize you are no longer a victim of your life circumstances.

    If you want to be a true survivor, you’ve got to focus your attention less on safety and security, and more on developing positive self-beliefs.[3]

    Survivors know that they are the CEOs of their lives, meaning that they take full responsibility for everything that happens, both good and bad. Also, instead of seeing the world through a black and white lens, survivors are open to new ways of thinking and behaving if it will support their growth and evolution.

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    1. Identify and Challenge Limiting Beliefs

    Beliefs are conditioned perceptions that are built upon old memories of pain and pleasure. These memories are based on how we have interpreted and emotionalized our experiences over time.[4]

    If these beliefs are disempowering in their nature, they lead to self-sabotage and a feeling of helplessness. If you want to stop being a victim, you first have to identify the critical inner voice that created feelings of victimhood and injustice.

    When did feelings of self-pity, low self-efficacy, and false blame first take shape in your life?

    A victim mentality can usually be traced back to one’s childhood, as a survival mechanism or as a learned behavior that we observed from our parents.

    When you start to understand why you feel the way you do, you take responsibility for thoughts and realize that you have the power to change and shift the narrative from one of a victim to a victor.

    For this to really work, you’re going to have to build up the courage to take action. For help with this, check out Lifehack’s Free Guide: The Dreamers’ Guide for Taking Action and Making Goals Happen.

    2. Take Responsibility for Your Life

    When you take responsibility for your life, you take ownership of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You design life on your terms because you know that you have the power to create your reality.

    The moment that you stop blaming the world is the moment that you shift from victim to victor. All of a sudden, life starts working in your favor because you chose to show up for yourself.

    3. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

    A victim mentality is grounded in a feeling of lack, as if there is never enough of something. The opposite of lack is abundance, which is where gratitude comes into play.

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    The quickest way to stop being a victim is to adopt an attitude of gratitude. Make a habit of asking yourself, “What am I grateful for today?”

    Gratitude is simply the conscious acknowledgment of what brings you joy in the present moment. When you stop obsessing about your own stuff and look at the bigger picture, you start to realize how lucky you really are.

    Take a look at these 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

    4. Think Positive

    A victim complex thrives on negative thoughts. The best way to shift from victim to victor is to change your thinking and take care of your mental health. Instead of looking for the bad in something, find the silver lining amidst every challenge.

    Your thoughts create your reality. When you start focusing on the good, you attract more positive things into your life.

    That is the moment at which you will open yourself up to live an abundant life of positive growth and change that has the potential to transform your life.[5]

    In the words of Martin Seligman,

    “Optimism is very valuable for a meaningful life. With a firm belief in a positive future, you can redirect your life towards what’s most important.”

    Final Thoughts

    If you’re tired of playing the victim, decide that you are ready to become the master of your life and then act on it. You are capable of great things if you believe in yourself and act on your beliefs. Now is the time to take back control of your life and move away from the destructive victim mentality that has been holding you back.

    More on Thinking Positive

    Featured photo credit: Remy_Loz via unsplash.com

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