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Last Updated on September 23, 2020

The Secret of Success to Achieving Anything You Want Revealed

The Secret of Success to Achieving Anything You Want Revealed

You’re here because you want to find a secret of success. Where’s it hiding? Why do some people seem to know all the secrets while others continue floundering?

I’m here to tell you that there are some proven ways to achieve success and become wildly successful.

In this article, I’ve done the heavy lifting to discover 11 secrets of success you can take to become a successful person.

Once you follow these, you’ll not only become more successful, but you’ll be able to apply them to any goal you set for yourself.

1. Use This Math Formula

The psychologist Kurt Lewin summarized why we act the way we do through a simple formula, and everyone can use this formula to up their chances of walking the path to success.

I’m simplifying his theory, but the basic equation he came up with is as follows:

B = f(P, E) where an individual’s behavior (B) is a function (f) of the the person (P), including their history, personality and motivation, and their environment (E).

Translated, what he surmised was:

“Behaviour is a function of the person and his or her environment.”

Now academic theories are great, but how does this equation help you?

How to Apply It

Think of it this way. When you have a really important deadline, where are you more likely to be productive? In a quiet room at your local library, or sitting on the couch with the TV on?

The answer is going to depend on how you work best—in silence or with background noise.

Where we are affects the way we behave, but it is all dependent on our personality.

If you want to use this secret of success, put yourself in environments that are likely to create the behaviors you want. For example, if you want to improve your physical stamina, a gym is probably better than your bedroom. If you want to improve your spirituality, a yoga/meditation studio may be a good choice.

2. Create Your Own Success Formula

Have you ever started on a big goal or path and been really motivated with your secret of success, but somewhere along the line you fell off track?

One big mistake many people make that leads to falling off track is a lack of measuring their progress.

I used to do this a lot in the gym. I’d spend hours and hours each week making the effort to get there and work out. But I wasn’t really feeling all that good about it!

Every time I stepped on the scale, I’d dread seeing the result. My progress was up and down, and I didn’t understand why. The fact was, I was leaving too many variables on the table. I failed to appreciate the importance of tracking.

After working with a coach, I realized I needed to pay closer attention to my diet, workouts, and sleep. I started tracking each one carefully and quickly noticed when I was eating too much, not lifting properly, or not getting enough sleep.

Essentially, what you measure, you manage.

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How to Apply It

Whatever it is you’re working towards, ask yourself: how can I track and measure my progress?

For example, if you want to save money, track how much you are spending each week and how much you are saving. Aim to improve it by 5% each month.

If you want to learn an instrument, record a video each week of you playing the same song. Each week watch it back to see how you have progressed. Track how many hours you practice in a log.

3. Explore Intentions Behind Actions

Measuring and managing your progress is important, but as one of my coaching clients once said: “In the absence of reflection, nothing changes”.

For example, let’s say you want to eat healthily and you start tracking your diet. You soon notice that you tend to overeat on weekends.

It’s great to track this, but what are you going to do about it? What is the deeper underlying reason that you keep behaving this way?

When studying for my diploma in Neuro Linguistic Programming, one of the first things we learned was that every behavior has a positive intention behind it.

We do things because they give us something in return. Uncover what those are if you want to utilize this secret of success.

How to Apply It

A powerful way to change unhelpful behaviors is to explore the intentions behind them. Look back and understand what is happening and what to do.

Each week, reflect and write down what you learned, what you avoided, and what you are going to change the next week.

Read books on self improvement, particularly in areas you wish to improve. For example, Brene Brown has great content on vulnerability.

4. Be an Absolute Yes or No

Is it possible that you are trying to fail instead of succeed? You may not realize it, but this may be the case.

Often we fear committing fully to our success because we fear what it means to commit 100%.

One powerful idea I picked up was the concept of being a very clear absolute yes or an absolute no to things. It’s a simple concept but one that creates immense clarity and saves time and effort.

This creates space for two things to happen in your life:

The first is to avoid anything which is heavy and a chore. The second is to leave space and time for you to give everything to the things you are an absolute yes to.

How to Apply It

Ask yourself honestly: What are you an absolute yes to right now? And which things are an absolute no?

If you’re reading a book you don’t like, put it down and start reading something more useful or interesting to you. It’s okay to not finish a mediocre book!

If you’re in a job that you really dislike, stop trying to force it and accept that it’s an absolute no. Think through what an absolute yes might be and start adjusting to make it happen.

5. Seek Advice From People Who Know More

The hidden secret behind many successful people is that they are not successful on their own. They have advisors, coaches, family members, and mentors all helping them along the way.

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An unfortunate characteristic of our time is that we try to do things on our own too often. A much faster way is to seek the counsel of wise people.

Who knows more than you? Who knows what works and doesn’t?

To get the most out of this secret of success, find those people and ask them to share those fundamentals with you.

How to Apply It

For each area of your life that you wish to be successful in, come up with some ideas of who can help you along the way.

The first thing I would recommend is to hire an accredited and professional life coach. They can help you strategize better and achieve your goals faster than you would on your own.

Another example comes with learning a language. If you want to learn a language faster, find a native speaker to tutor you once per week for an hour. It shouldn’t cost a lot and will speed up your progress.

6. Pick up the Right Mindset

What do the world’s top psychologists recommend when it comes to being successful?

It’s called a growth mindset[1].

Carol Dweck, in her seminal work Mindset, shares countless examples of the two mindsets people generally have: a fixed or a growth mindset.

Individuals with a fixed mindset have a generally rigid perspective on their talents and abilities. They believe that their intelligence and talent is fixed. Genetic. Unchangeable.

Individuals with a growth mindset have an open, more hopeful perspective on their talents and capabilities. They believe that they can learn new things and improve at the areas they are weak in[2].

Secret of success: have a growth mindset

     

    Having a growth mindset is a marker of success. By always seeking to learn, no matter the position, emotion, or outcome you have in life, you are constantly gaining insights and experience.

    Even if things don’t go as you wish, and you fail miserably, the individual with a growth mindset seeks to learn first rather than succeed or fail.

    Do you see how valuable this is? How do you stop someone who always learns and grows from any experience or setback?

    How to Apply It

    For this secret of success, focus your goals more on learning and development than simple success or failure.

    For example, if you’re fearful of public speaking, focus on how you can improve rather than be perfect at it. What can you learn? Who from?

    If you feel you are not a very confident person, focus on how you can model those who are. Every master was once a beginner. What could make you a bit more confident today?

    It’s never too late to change. Here’s the proof: How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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    7. Learn How Successful People Plan

    A vague goal leads to procrastination and overwhelm.

    By breaking your success down into clear steps and milestones, you allow yourself to celebrate the small wins along the way and feel more motivated.

    Success takes longer than we think, and this allows you stay focused along the way.

    How to Apply It

    Write your goals down and check if they are vague and general, or specific and time bound. Bring them closer to reality by setting them on a gradient. What is a clear sign of 10% progress being made?

    For example, if you want to be a successful YouTuber with 1 million subscribers, break it down. What does 5% look like? What do you need to do to achieve that? When?

    Schedule these milestones into your diary so you don’t forget. Set up reminders everywhere so it’s not left to chance.

    8. Understand the Benefits of Benevolence

    Contributing to the world in some meaningful way can make you more successful, but it can also help others become successful, so this is a great secret of success.

    And we all know that our existence is very fragile and limited. Who knows how much more time we have left?

    What are you leaving behind?

    What purpose does the money you’re making serve beyond paying the bills?

    What matters to you?

    How to Apply It

    Make a clear list on paper of causes you are interested in or care about. Research them and find some organizations or people to support.

    This could be by becoming an advisor and sharing your skills and expertise. In my company, we equip young people from low income backgrounds for life beyond the classroom. We have a group of experts on our advisory board who critique, challenge and support us. It helps us in a very meaningful way, and allows them to contribute, too.

    You could also make a monthly donation. Even something as small as $3/month does make a difference.

    9. Play Hard to Work Hard

    The fact is you do have to work hard to achieve things in life. It takes long hours of work over long periods of time.

    But wouldn’t you much rather have fun and play, like you did as a kid?

    Early in my career, I mistakenly believed I needed to work really really hard all the time to achieve success.

    This is true, but the endless “working hard” can create resistance. My to-do lists seemed never-ending. Just thinking about work drained my energy, let alone doing it.

    So I did what so many of us do: avoid, procrastinate, and delay. Until I learned this little secret: What if I replaced the word “work” and focused on “play”? There would be no hustle, just a curious human on an adventure.

    How to Apply It

    Where in your life are you making things mentally tiring and complex? How could you approach your work in a more playful and curious way?

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    For example, if you want to build productive habits like journaling everyday, how can you make it more fun? Could you use glitter and crayons? Could you treat it like an art class in school?

    10. Work Less But Do More

    Jim Rohn once said:

    “A lot of people don’t do well simply because they major in minor things.”

    Basically, this means that most people focus on small, unimportant things and don’t give the majority of their energy to the larger actions that make a real difference[3].

    For this secret of success, ask yourself which actions will offer the biggest impact on you goal.

    How to Apply It

    Not all action is created equal. Review what you are doing and where you spend most of your time in trying to achieve your goals.

    For example, if you’re trying to get lean and toned, what is the number one habit that has the biggest impact on your success?

    If you’re trying to build a positive culture in your workplace, what simple thing can you do that has the greatest success?

    11. Focus on Process, Not End Results

    What if I told you success actually isn’t what you should aim for, but something else instead?

    We focus on the success we want, and these things are important: building a business, becoming healthier, more fulfilled, more positive, etc.

    However, these end outcomes will only keep us happy for so long. These things are not where your real value and growth lie.

    By focusing on the end results, we dampen our efforts and become trapped in a fixed mindset of succeeding or failing. It sets you up for a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.

    Instead, what the world’s top performers realize is that it’s much better to focus on the quantity and repetitions, not the outcomes.

    Writing 1 book every year is more important than the perfect bestselling book. Making 100 cold calls every day to your target customers is more important than the perfect pitch.

    How to Apply It

    Instead of trying to craft the perfect habit or result, focus on improving the process that creates those outcomes.

    For example, if you want to become a great midfielder in soccer, focus on improving your skills and technique every day instead of dreaming about the perfect high paid contract.

    If you want to launch an acclaimed business, focus on creating the small viable product and selling to 1,000 customers first instead of trying to craft the perfect product no one really wants.

    Final Thoughts

    Choosing one secret of success to get your started will make it easier to achieve your short and long term goals.

    Follow these steps, practice them every day, and measure your progress. Gradually, you’ll get closer to success in anything you want.

    More on the Secret of Success

    Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

    Reference

    More by this author

    Keshav Bhatt

    Writer, Social Entrepreneur, Accredited Life Coach & NLP Practitioner

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    Last Updated on October 16, 2020

    12 Ways to Get Back on Track When Things Don’t Work Out

    12 Ways to Get Back on Track When Things Don’t Work Out

    Life can be complicated. A few months ago, you felt like you were being extremely productive. You would visit the gym regularly, stick to your healthy eating habits, make achievements at your workplace, and were even getting quality sleep each night. You felt motivated enough to take on any task that came your way and even executed it to perfection.

    But all of a sudden, everything is dull and bleak. You got too tired of the hectic schedule and you slipped, making you go down a rabbit hole of demotivation and procrastination. Maybe you suffered from the loss of a relationship, an illness, an injury, or a significant setback. Now, you only find yourself thinking negatively because you feel as though all the progress you had made is now ruined.

    However, when things don’t work out, there are things you could do to get your life back on track. Many religions and traditions state that in the end, you will be happy. If you aren’t happy, then it is not the end.

    But how does one find the motivation to start all over again when things don’t work out? Simple: you go back to the basics.

    What Is Control?

    When things don’t work out, the first thought that comes to mind is how to begin from scratch. But before you start figuring that out, it is important to know what control is.

    Does control mean having a good work-life balance? Or does control refer to being a quick decision-maker?

    The thing is that control can be subjective. Having ‘control’ over your life is important, but it may not always mean the same thing for two different people.

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    Taking control of your life means that you are self-aware and confident enough to embark on new journeys. This control allows you to feel motivated enough to believe that if you invest your hard work into something, you will reap great results.

    While it is impossible to control all the external factors around you, it is possible to control how you feel about them. Taking control of your life begins with your thoughts and emotions—internal factors—which later translate into controlling your surroundings or external factors as well.

    When things don’t work out according to plan, we feel as if everything is out of control. To avoid this, we must remember that taking control is a choice that we make for ourselves and that we can exercise that control over our lives whenever and however we wish.

    12 Ways of Gaining Control When Things Don’t Work Out

    So, what do you do when things don’t work out and you feel as though you have lost control? You gain it back.

    Here are 12 simple ways you can get your life back on track.

    1. Reflect Upon Yourself

    A thorough life audit can clear your perspective. Since it enables you to focus on each area of your life separately, it gives you a better picture of where you stand at the moment. While you reflect upon your life, remember to include aspects such as your career, relationships, family, psychological and physical health, fitness, and overall motivation. This gives you more clarity regarding where you are and where you want to be in the future.

    While you could carry out this reflection yourself, there are also many tools available to aid you in this life audit process. The Wheel of Life focuses on a diagram method to evaluate your life, but there are also multiple different lists of questions available to assess your situation.

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    2. Identify the Cause of Failure

    You had your life on right on track—then what happened? Before you restart your pursuit of motivation and productivity, you must identify the cause of what led to your downfall in the first place. This serves as an extremely important factor in the healing process, especially to ensure that you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

    If you dig deep enough, you will find that some common triggers led to your spiral of negativity. Once you reflect on these triggers and what causes them, avoiding them becomes much easier. This way, you can easily get your life back on track when things don’t work out perfectly.

    3. Be Confident

    Confidence is the key to your success, especially when it comes to having control over your life. While showing up for work every day is important, showing up to achieve something is much more important.

    When things don’t work out perfectly and continue to spread far beyond your control, it can be because of your lack of physical and mental confidence. To regain your confidence, think about the things that provide you with the most confidence and engage in habits that correlate to that. For instance, if you feel confident when you are physically healthy, go to the gym to retain your fitness.

    4. De-Clutter

    For a clear mind, you must have a clear plan. On average, every individual has around 70,000 thoughts per day. While it is impossible to keep a close record of every single one, it is highly recommended to list down some of the thoughts that are most important to you.

    This may be a thought about cooking pasta for dinner tomorrow or that work meeting you have been constantly rescheduling. Maybe it is a project idea you had right before you went to sleep, or maybe it is about that old friend that you thought of while you sip your coffee.

    This method of brain dumping will help you bring important ideas and tasks onto paper while making room for your mind to focus on each item individually.

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    5. Condition Your Mind

    When things don’t work out, you may think that you need to start building your good habits back again from scratch. However, that is not true. There are many habits and routines that one follows subconsciously—and you can easily make use of your current habits to restart different sorts of healthy behavior to gain control over your life again.

    For instance, if your current routine is to come home from work, change into comfortable clothing, and watch Netflix—you can use that to condition your brain into a new habit. By changing into workout clothes instead, you may be motivated enough to head to the gym before getting to that TV series.

    6. Start From Little Things

    Each droplet makes an ocean. When things don’t work out optimally in life, remember that you still have control over the tiny little things that are around you. This could be as insignificant as organizing your drawer or cleaning your house—but it will surely help you regain control over your life. Remember that even tiny things can accumulate into massive life-changing momentum.

    7. Be Patient

    When things don’t work out, it can be very tempting to get back on track as soon as possible. As a result, you may find yourself rushing through everything and trying to do too much too fast. However, it is time to slow down and be patient with yourself. If you have lost control over your diet, it is easier to get back on track by starting to track calories again instead of meal prep and strict diets.

    8. Remember Your Purpose

    Self-awareness is necessary. To regain control over your life after you have slipped once, you need to take a step back and reflect upon the purpose of why you wanted control in the first place. Even in the harshest of weather, trees still stand still. This is because they have strong roots—or a strong purpose.

    Magical sayings are essential for reminding yourself that even if you don’t know how what you’re hoping for will appear in your life, everything is possible—something that can be easily forgotten when things are not working out.

    When things don’t work out perfectly, go back to finding your purpose and why you started. Let that bring you back to gaining control over your life.

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    9. Time Management

    This is an important life skill that takes years to master but is necessary for getting your life back on track. One of the possible reasons why you slipped in the first place could be because you were too overwhelmed by your surroundings. If there are too many things on your mind at once, you are subject to a mental breakdown sooner or later.

    To avoid that, you need to focus on managing your time more efficiently and stressing yourself out less. While it is okay to engage in multiple projects, remember to be moderate with rationing your time, and be responsible enough to keep some time for your self as well.

    10. Create Healthy Boundaries

    Regaining control over your life requires you to prioritize the things that are most important to you and discarding the few that only stress you out. To do this effectively, it is recommended to set healthy boundaries around yourself that help you focus solely on the important things in life.

    11. Breathe

    When things don’t work out, it is okay to feel overwhelmed. One of the easiest ways to relax is by taking a long walk and reconnecting with the outdoors. Don’t focus on your speed, distance, or surroundings—just breathe and focus on yourself for this moment.

    12. Give Yourself Time

    When things don’t work out and you spiral down that hole of negativity, you could be quick to start blaming yourself for everything. As a result, you may also feel pressured to get back on track immediately.

    However, you need to give yourself time. Healthy routines are built through consistency and patience, constant reevaluations, and learning how to do things differently. Since this process may take time, you need to be kind to yourself.

    Final Thoughts

    While there is no single solution to getting your life back on track immediately, you should know that there are multiple smaller steps you can take towards achieving your ultimate goal. Just follow these 12 ways of gaining control when things don’t work out, and you will eventually feel the improvement in your quality of life. After all, having control over our lives is the key to feeling content.

    What You Can Do When Things Don’t Work Out

    Featured photo credit: Jamie Street via unsplash.com

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