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11 Secrets to Becoming Successful at Anything You Can Imagine

11 Secrets to Becoming Successful at Anything You Can Imagine

You’re here because you want to be successful. But why aren’t you there yet? What is stopping you?

I’m here to tell you. Success is not by accident, far from it. But there are some proven ways to achieve it.

In this article, I’ve done the heavy lifting for you of finding out the 11 actionable steps you can take to become successful.

Once you follow these, you’ll not only become more successful, but be able to apply them to any goal you set for yourself.

So here are 11 secrets to becoming successful at anything you can imagine:

1. The Math Formula That Explains Success

There’s a really smart psychologist called Kurt Lewin who summarized why we act the way we do, through a simple formula.

I’m simplifying his theory, but the basic equation he came up with was:

P = F(P,E)

Translated, what he surmized was:

“Behaviour is a function of the person and his or her environment.”

Now academic theories are great but how does this equation help you?

Think of it this way. When you have a really important deadline, where are you more likely to be productive?

In a quiet room at your local library or sitting on the couch with the TV on?

Quite clearly, the former.

Where we are, affects the way we behave. Some places more so than others, but you get the idea.

What you should do now:

If you want to be successful, put yourself in environments that are likely to create the behaviours you want. Here’s some ideas:

  • If you want to get more in touch with religious or spiritual practices, go to a temple/place of worship once per week for 30 minutes and meditate there.
  • If you want to improve your strength and stamina, go to a gym class everyday instead of trying to workout at home on your own.

2. Create Your Own Success Formula

Have you ever started on a big goal or path, been really motivated but somewhere along the line – fallen off track?

One big mistake many people make that leads to falling off track is a lack of measuring their progress.

I used to do this a lot in the gym.

I’d spend hours and hours each week making the effort to get there and workout. I’d share the classic photo of me at the gym doing my workout – but you know the truth?

I wasn’t really feeling all that good about it!

Every time I stepped on the scales, I’d dread seeing the result. My progress was up and down and I didn’t understand why.

The fact was, I was leaving too many variables on the table. I failed to appreciate the importance of tracking.

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After working with a coach, I realized I needed to pay closer attention to my diet, workouts and sleep. I started tracking each one carefully and quickly noticed when I was eating too much, not lifting properly or getting enough sleep.

Previously, I would just walk into the gym, pick whichever weight I thought I’d bench pressed the week before or felt I could manage. It was completely random.

By tracking, I learned to ensure I was progressing 1% on the last time.

Can you guess what happened?

I progressed.

What you measure, you manage.

What you should do now:

Whatever it is you’re working towards, ask yourself – how can I track and measure my progress?

For example:

  • If you want to save money, track how much you are spending each week and how much you are saving. Aim to improve it by 5% each month.
  • If you want to learn an instrument, record a video each week of you playing the same song. Each week watch it back to see how you have progressed. Track how many hours you practice in a log.

3. The Key Habit That Multiplies Success

Measuring and managing your progress is important, but as one of my coaching clients once said: “In the absence of reflection, nothing changes”.

For example, let’s say you want to eat healthily and you start tracking your diet. You soon notice that you tend to overeat on weekends.

It’s great to track this but what are you going to do about it? What is the deeper underlying reason that you keep behaving this way?

When studying for my diploma in Neuro Linguistic Programming, one of the first things we learned was that every behaviour has a positive intention behind it.

We do things because they give us something in return. Uncover what those are.

What you should do now:

A powerful way to change unhelpful behaviours is to explore the intentions behind them. To look back and understand what is happening and what to do.

  • Each week, reflect and write down what you learned, what you avoided, and what you are going to change the next week.
  • Read books on self improvement, particularly in areas you wish to improve. For example, Brene Brown has great content on vulnerability.

4. A Simple Question That Doubles Your Commitment

This might surprise you. But are you trying to fail instead of succeed?

Often we fear committing fully to our success because we fear what it means to commit 100%.

One powerful idea I picked up (from Derek Sivers) was the concept of being a very clear absolute yes or an absolute no to things.

It’s a simple concept but one which creates immense clarity and saves you so much time and effort.

This creates space for two things to happen in your life:

The first is to avoid anything which is heavy and a chore. The second is to leave space and time for you to give everything to the things you are an absolute yes to.

Sometimes we do things half heartedly and this leads to stagnation and mediocrity.

But to succeed, you really do have to remain 100% committed in your intentions and actions.

What you should do now:

Ask yourself honestly:

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What are you an absolute yes to right now? And what things are an absolute no?

  • If you’re reading a book you don’t like, put it down and start reading something more useful or interesting to you. It’s okay to not finish a mediocre book!
  • If you’re in a job that you really dislike, stop trying to force it and accept that it’s an absolute no. Think through what an absolute yes might be and start adjusting to make it happen

5. Drastically Increase Your Brain Power

The hidden secret behind many successful people is that they are not successful on their own. They have advisors, coaches, family members, mentors all helping them along the way.

An unfortunate characteristic of our time is that we try to do things on our own too often. A much faster way however is to seek the counsel of wise people.

Who knows more than you? Who knows what works and doesn’t?

Find those people and ask them to share those fundamentals with you.

What you should do now:

For each area of your life that you wish to be successful in, come up with some ideas of who can help you along the way.

  • The first thing I would recommend is to hire an accredited and professional life coach. They can help you strategise better and achieve your goals faster than you would on your own.
  • If you want to learn a language faster, find a native speaker to tutor you once per week for 1 hour. It shouldn’t cost a lot and will speed up your progress a lot.
  • Subscribe to YouTube channels that share useful ideas and information. I’d also recommend others like TED talks, the SciShow, and Crash Course.
  • Develop your Digital Brain — this will drastically increase your brain power and boost memory.

6. Pick Up the Right Mindset That Shapes Our Lives

What do the world’s top psychologists recommend when it comes to being successful?

Is there a way of thinking you could download that makes you 10x more likely to win?

The short answer, yes!

It’s called a growth mindset.

Carol Dweck, in her seminal work ‘Mindset’, shares countless examples of the two mindsets people generally have – a fixed or a growth mindset.

Individuals with a fixed mindset have a generally rigid perspective on their talents and abilities. They believe that their intelligence and talent is fixed. Genetic. Unchangeable.

Individuals with a growth mindset have an open, more hope filled perspective on their talents and capabilities. They believe that they can learn new things and improve at the areas they are weak on if they put the time in.

I’m sure you can guess which of the two is a marker of success.

The growth mindset.

By always seeking to learn, no matter the position, emotion or outcome you have in life – you are constantly gaining insights and experience.

Even if things don’t go as you wish, and you fail miserably, the individual with a growth mindset seeks to learn first, rather than succeed or fail.

Do you see how valuable this is? How do you stop someone who always learns and grows from any experience or setback?

What you should do now:

Focus your goals more on learning and development than simple success or failure.

For example:

  • If you’re fearful of public speaking, focus on how you can improve, rather than be perfect at it. What can you learn? Who from?
  • If you feel you are not a very confident person, focus on how you can model those who are. Every master was once a beginner. What could make you a bit more confident today?

Think you’re too late to change? No way! Here’s the proof:

How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

7. Learn How Successful People Plan

I’m part of a private invite only mastermind group. Each week we share our insights, reflections and milestones with each other for accountability.

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Instead of setting a vague goal far off in the horizon, we challenge each other to make them time bound and manageable.

Want to be a successful entrepreneur? OK, what is 10% of that goal being achieved? How do you know when you are at 50%? What are the steps to get there?

A vague goal leads to procrastination and overwhelm.

By breaking your success down into clear steps and milestones, you allow yourself to celebrate the small wins along the way and feel more motivated.

Success takes longer than we think and this allows you stay focused along the way.

What you should do now:

Write your goals down and check if they are vague and general, or specific and time bound. Bring them closer to reality by setting them on a gradient. What is a clear sign of 10% progress being made?

  • If you want to be a successful YouTuber with 1 million subscribers – break it down. What does 5% look like? What do you need to do to achieve that? When?
  • Schedule these milestones into your diary so you don’t forget. Set up reminders everywhere so it’s not left to chance.

8. Understand the Benefits of Benevolence

I’ve broken down the 6 fundamental pillars of a meaningful life in one of my courses. One of them is contribution. It’s very easy to get stuck in the grind of our day to day.

And we all know that our existence is very fragile and limited. Who knows how much more time we have left?

So what are you leaving behind?

The money you’re making right now, what purpose does it serve beyond paying the bills?

What matters to you?

What you should do now:

Make a clear list on paper of causes you are interested in or care about. Research them and find some organisations or people to support.

This could be by:

  • Becoming an advisor and sharing your skills and expertise. In my company, we equip young people from low income backgrounds for life beyond the classroom. We have a group of experts on our advisory board who critique, challenge and support us. It helps us in a very meaningful way, and allows them to contribute too.
  • Making a monthly donation. Even something as small as $3/month, does make a difference.

9. Don’t Work Hard (But Do This Instead)

The fact is you do have to work hard to achieve things in life. It takes long hours of work, over long periods of time.

But wouldn’t you much rather have fun and play, like you did as a kid?

One huge, secret hack I stumbled on early on in my career (with the help of a life coach I worked with) was playing over hustling.

I mistakenly believed I needed to work really really hard all the time to achieve success.

Don’t get me wrong. This is obviously true.

But in the back of mind it created a bit of resistance.

My to-do lists seemed endless. Just thinking about work drained my energy, let alone doing it.

So I did what so many of us do. Avoid, procrastinate, and delay.

Until I learned this little secret.

What if I replace the word ‘work’, and focused on ‘play’?

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I wouldn’t see it as hard, face crunching work. I’d see what I do as a fun game I was trying to win at.

There would be no hustle. Just a curious kid (with a beard) on an adventure.

What you should do now:

Where in your life are you making things mentally tiring and complex? How could you approach your work in a more playful and curious way?

For example:

  • If you want to build productive habits like journalling everyday. How could you make it more fun? Could you use glitter and crayons? Could you treat it like an art class in school?
  • One of my goals to be more active is to do 10,000 steps everyday. Sometimes, it seems like a chore. So I took my 5 year old niece with me and it immediately became a fun game of hide & seek.

10. Work Less But Do and Succeed More

Sorry to be cliche and quote Tony Robbins in my success article, but he said something powerful in a clip I saw recently:

Average people, major in minor things.

The moment I heard this, a surge of insight whizzed through my brain. Like all great ideas, it made total sense to me.

I kicked myself. If only I’d seen this sooner!

Which actions that I take, give me the biggest impact on my goal? What is easy to do, and achieves the most success?

What you should do now:

Not all action is created equal. Reviewing what you are doing, and where you spend most of your time in trying to achieve your goals.

For example:

  • If you’re trying to get lean and toned, what is the number one habit that has the biggest impact on your success?
  • If you’re trying to build a positive culture in your workplace, what simple thing can you do that has the greatest success?

11. Focus On Process, Not End Results

And finally, what if I told you success actually isn’t what you should aim for but something else instead?

I know, you’d be surprised right. Why would I dissuade you from trying to succeed?

Hear me out:

We focus on the success we want, and these are important – building a business, becoming healthier, more fulfilled, more positive etc.

However, these end outcomes will only keep us happy for so long. These things are not where your real value and growth lies.

By focusing on these end results, we dampen our efforts and become trapped in a fixed mindset of succeeding or failing. It sets you up for a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.

Instead, what the world’s top performers realize is that it’s much better to focus on the quantity and repetitions – not the outcomes.

Writing 1 book every year is more important than the perfect bestselling book. Making 100 cold calls every day to your target customers is more important than the perfect pitch.

What you should next:

Instead of trying to craft the perfect habit or result. Focus on improving the process that creates those outcomes.

For example:

  • If you want to become a great midfielder in soccer, focus on improving your skills and technique everyday. Instead of dreaming about the perfect high paid contract.
  • If you want to launch an acclaimed business, focus on creating the small viable product and selling to 1,000 customers first. Instead of trying to craft the perfect product no one really wants.

Conclusion

If you want to become successful at anything you can imagine, follow these 11 steps:

  1. Be in the best environments possible.
  2. Track and measure your progress along the way.
  3. Reflect regularly on what is going well and what needs to change.
  4. Ensure you have done all you can to stay 100% committed. Be hell yes or no.
  5. Have experts and advisors around you to help.
  6. Cultivate a curious and open growth mindset where you are passionate about learning.
  7. Create clear milestones of progress so you stay motivated and focused.
  8. Give back and contribute to causes you care about to create a strong sense of purpose to your life.
  9. Focus on enjoying the journey and having fun along the way. Not just when you achieve “success”.
  10. Spend your time and energy on the fundamental things which bring the biggest rewards.
  11. Let go of perfect outcomes and pay attention to improving your process to success.

Follow these steps, practice them every day and measure your progress. Gradually you’ll get closer to success in anything you want.

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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Keshav Bhatt

Writer, Social Entrepreneur, Accredited Life Coach & NLP Practitioner

How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Best Version of You Going Back to School at 40 Helps Create a New Golden Age: Here’s How 11 Secrets to Becoming Successful at Anything You Can Imagine 10 Popular Myths About Right Brain Left Brain Debunked

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

5 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Mental Attitude

5 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Mental Attitude

Cultivating a positive mental attitude starts with a realization — a realization that you’re not the only one who has struggled, who has survived, and who has started over again. You are not alone, and there is a way through the darkness. There is simple wisdom, which can be relied upon, to help.

Find support, but also learn self-care in how you treat yourself which is what positivity is all about. That self talk, that perception, that attitude you choose changes you and changes those around you.

According to New Stanford Study: A Positive Attitude Literally Makes Your Brain Better by Jessica Stillman,[1] Stanford researchers studies how the brain was impacted in achievement and learning when one felt or was positive about a subject. The result? Outcomes were much more favorable for that student.

We do well in areas we are positive about. But what if we can choose to be positive about, well, anything? That would change everything.

Positivity is not about just being happy, which is often the misconception. In fact, acknowledging a range of emotions is healthy. Positivity is persistence while using positive thinking strategies. It is sitting with your feelings; it is acceptance of what is; it is holding onto what makes you happy; it is purpose found in pain.

And the reasoning behind choosing to be positive — you get what you give. You receive what you believe.

Here’re 5 steps to cultivate a positive mental attitude. In part, they detail why it’s important to be positive as an understanding assists in the pursuit as much as the adoption of the mindset.

1. Know That You Can Change Your Attitude

There’s a Maya Angelou quote that goes:

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

When you choose positivity as your attitude, you select an attitude far more destined for resilient behavior than the alternative.

When you have a negative attitude, your brain gives itself permission to develop negative thinking patterns and in turn, difficult and dark emotions. You spend all your days ruminating, or worrying about the same thing over and over again, thinking that will solve it. Doing this will cause you to miss the answers rather than make the most of the moments in front of you.

In actuality, the first thing you need to do is calm yourself. It feels counterintuitive, but that means to release your troubled mentality. When you release what is bothering you, you choose a safer attitude. One that helps you to accept your emotions, accept what is happening and accept that you don’t have all the answers. You’re less afraid of that fact.

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Attitude is everything. It’s how we heal ourselves. It’s how we stay positive. It’s how we secure things. It’s how we overcome.

Without a positive attitude, we cannot persevere. Perseverance is the point of positivity.

A positive attitude is how we fuel willpower. Willpower is how we fuel positivity. It goes in a circle. They are interchangeable.

Positivity denotes willpower. You can be standing in a storm and feel completely calm when you use positivity. You stay grounded. You stand firm. You do not fall over. And you know what? Even if you do, you get back up again.

There is a Japanese proverb, “Nana korobi ya oki” which means fall seven times, get up eight. This means you do not stop; you keep going. You make it through the hard times to find the good.

A positive attitude is about understanding you have power over your problems. Once you understand that, you can change your attitude. You have to choose positive thinking first in order to reap its benefits. Once you’ve chosen to be positive, you can do anything.

2. Find Your Unique Meaning in Life

When you have lost it all, a positive attitude can help you regain it or to regain your strength. It’s the best way to live. It’s the best way to learn from life and love. When you are positive, you have a power that circumstance nor others cannot take from you.

Recognizing the power you have to carry on, to make the best of things, to keep going when everything inside you wants to quit is worth everything.

You can’t always have it all, but you can always have a positive attitude. This in itself helps you stand out, helps you to shine. It’s enough to save yourself (and others potentially) with. That power keeps you grounded and safe.

For example, say you lost someone to a disease. Instead of just thinking about the loss and seeing it as the end, a positive person may decide to contribute to a cause dedicated to that disease. In doing so, the positive person becomes a beacon of hope. They become a voice for something which in turn gives them power over their hardship.

This is how people keep going: Meaning. Meaning creates a power over our emotions, over our loss so that they do not define us.

According to the Mayo Clinic, positivity affects one’s stress levels and overall health.[2] It is that powerful. When you are positive about a situation, you are less stressful and more calm and able to reason better to solve the very problem in front of you.

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Cultivating this power is about realizing a sense of meaning can be derived from all circumstances, even senseless tragedies. People often contribute to something greater than themselves when they are searching for meaning, for purpose, for positivity, for power.

You don’t always have to have a reason for why something happens, but you can use whatever happens for a greater cause. It’s subjective, changing from person to person. That’s why no matter how much you want to derive meaning from an event, there are no outright answers about how to do that.

So, what do you do? Meditate. Listen.

“Whatever purifies you is the right path, I will not try to define it. Let go of your mind then be mindful. Close your ears and listen.” — Rumi

3. Be Absolutely Present

In life, you have control over your ability to be present in the moment, even if not control over everything. You have the moment.

Positivity is telling yourself that this moment is what matters. You can’t regret the past or see the future. The only way to be positive is to be here. What do you have right in front of you? Suddenly, your life shifts to gratitude.

Gratitude serves us in letting go of what we do not need. Listing what makes us happy is one way to stay present. What do you have right now that you can use? You have the tools to be positive.

Some techniques to getting there are through meditations or mantras. For example, “Nothing bad is happening right now” is an easy one to incorporate. Your past traumas can’t trip you when you ground yourself in the present, and your ability to reason further develops to the point that even if you can’t see the future, you know it will play out like this– with you empowered and in the moment, using all your wisdom and tools and positivity to persevere. That’s all you need.

Focus on the moment. In a blog about Mindfulness, Courtney Ackerman writes that one such exercise is to live in the moment to reduce worrying.[3] Think about the past and future in small, manageable doses. But focus mostly on the present, what is happening right here and now. This will reduce worrying and therefore stress as well as other negative emotions significantly.

This will allow you to be positive.

4. Practice Self-Love

Self-talk is the core of self-love, the core of what positivity is all about. Positive self-talk leads to self-love. And when our own cup is empty, we can pour into another’s. We have to help ourselves first before we can help others.

What we say to ourselves is how we practice positivity or put it into action.

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For example, there’s a children’s book called The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper where the train thinks, “I think I can, I think I can” the whole way through its travels. The result? It could because it told itself that it can.

Such a simple concept for a complex world. And yet, it works.

This is also how self-love works. What you tell yourself is powerful and makes its mark. Here are examples of things you could tell yourself to practice positivity:

  • I am enough.
  • I am worthwhile.
  • I can do this, I just have to hold on.
  • I will make it through this.
  • I am powerful.
  • I am unstoppable.

Here’re more examples for you: 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life. Add to this list with your own!

When you write these positive mantras, you start to feel them. If you write “I am positive about this situation” enough times, you will start to feel that positivity seep in.

Loving yourself is not going to be easy nor come overnight. There will be a mess of feelings, regrets, negative self talk and more that you will have to carefully tip toe through to hold your own heart. Your heart needs love, and often, we deny what it needs in pursuit of purposeless pleasures such as external rewards rather than internal motivation for a life well lived. We live for what others think of us, say about us, and sometimes, losing it all or going through hardship can teach us what we really need: ourselves.

Loving yourself needs to come from an authentic place, not a “fake it til you make it” mentality. It needs to be real. It needs to include those flaws and all. That’s all you can do to become positive about yourself. You have to start within and do the work necessary to heal and be healthy.

Try these 30 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself.

5. Avoid Toxic Positivity (Unhealthy Positivity)

Avoid the white knuckling type of positivity where you don’t acknowledge your struggles or pain (as they also serve you). You don’t just want to tell yourself to move on because that equates to repression.

Emotions are part of positivity. You want to sit with your feelings. You want to acknowledge them, give them a voice. Instead of telling yourself to move on, you let your emotions lead to a breakthrough that helps you cope with the changes of life.

The greatest misconceptions made about being positive is assuming one does not have to feel in order to change. Throwing away hurt, anger, grief, sadness, all those emotions we associate with being “negative” only thwart our growth and power. Positivity is USING these things to better yourself or the world around you because you’re not going to give in to them. They do not become you or your identity.

You don’t have to be the white knuckling soldier you’ve always been. You say your emotions, then follow up with a use or outlet for them. That makes your positivity profound.

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Positivity is not about wearing a mask; it is the opposite of a mask. It is freedom from negative thinking strategies such as jumping to conclusions, black or white thinking, worst case scenario assumptions and more. It’s acknowledging that there may be more strength or ability in you than previously assumed. And it’s worth it to find out.

Toxic positivity may suggest you simply put a smile on and act fine. That’s not real positivity. Healthy positivity is about showing up when you’re tired; loving when you are feeling loss; healing when you want to cling to your hurt. It’s realization that you are worth it, not worth writing off. And you care about the outcome, so you stay to sort it out. You don’t abandon or jump ship. You hold on. That’s healthy positivity.

So that one day you may say to others, “I see you. I feel you. I understand you,” because you have been where they are and got through it. It’s acknowledging the dark as much as the light.

It’s living so others may live; it’s all you need. It’s not an exact formula everyone can replicate, and no one can copy you either. Your story is important. You are meant to be here. You are meant to do well. It will be those thoughts that get you to the finish line. Thriving.

Final Thoughts

In every moment, you’re not going to want to be positive. There will be times when you want to throw in the towel. But even then, choosing your attitude, recognizing the power of positivity, being absolutely present, practicing self-love and avoiding toxic or unhealthy positivity will better your days and assist through your trials.

Being positive isn’t easy, but it’s worth it to see what is going to happen next. Just around the corner may be the change you need, but you’ll never know if you don’t hold on to find out.

Positivity is about being curious enough to stay for the outcome because you simply believe, hold onto and trust in yourself and some goodness in this world. That’s enough to keep one going, and enough to help them go from surviving to thriving which is where you want to be.

Everyone has low moments. There’s nothing to be ashamed of for that. You can feel negative emotions though without shaming yourself for them by practicing healthy positivity. These steps are how to cultivate a positive mental attitude.

That way you don’t live with regret. You live in the moment. You make the decision how.

You can start at anytime. Positivity can be like a switch of perception. Once you uplift yourself, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. And soon, you’ll be onto uplifting others which helps even more.

Positivity is contagious. It spreads like sunlight over the darkness. You can be the source of that sunlight. All you have to do is simple: Believe you can.

Good luck!

More About Positivity

Featured photo credit: Court Prather via unsplash.com

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