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Last Updated on December 1, 2020

The Secret of Success: 10 Tough Things to Do First

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The Secret of Success: 10 Tough Things to Do First

Eat the ugly frog first.

I enjoy tossing that line out when I give a speech, often accompanied on the big screen by a photograph of a large and exceedingly unattractive reptile. But it is based on the truth that if you eat an ugly frog for breakfast, the rest of the day will be much better.

This gets to the heart of procrastination and its counterpart — self-discipline.

Procrastination is more than the art of keeping up with yesterday. It is the active avoidance of doing things that are dull, tedious, disinteresting, boring or stressful. Yet life and business have a lot of these elements. I ran a publicly traded semiconductor company for 37 years, and there were days I did not want to look at the latest financial numbers or help debug production facility equipment issue. But those were my ugly frogs, and I ate them with gusto.

Discipline overcomes procrastination because, and I note in my book Tough Things First, discipline is doing what you don’t like doing and doing it well.

If you have 10 things that need to be done, and you put off the one thing you dislike, it still needs doing eventually. Yet while you do the other nine tasks, the single unpleasant one weighs on your mind, drains your enthusiasm, zaps your motivation, saps your energy, and generally makes you miserable.

Contrarily, if you do the tough things first, if you eat your ugly frog for breakfast, the other tasks fly by. You are liberated from delay, freed from anxiety, and joyful in all other pursuits. I have discovered that my personal productivity rises 20% when my disagreeable task is in my “out box”.

This is not just a business prescription. Life is loaded with ugly frogs. This is why New Year resolutions are always made (because the tough things have fallen by the wayside) and quickly abandoned (because they are still tough things). Yet each procrastination creates a drag on your body, health, mindset, willpower and spunk. Each ugly frog you avoid ingesting is the one you see on your breakfast table the next morning. They simply don’t go away, and they spawn newer and uglier frogs.

Soon enough, you cannot wade through your breakfast nook for the thicket of frogs you have allowed to accumulate.

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Here is a personal case in point. My partner and co-founder Warren led a frog-free life. This included his health habits. He was not one to diet or exercise, and he smoked relentlessly. His life was not devoted to eating the ugly frogs necessary for good health. He died at age 69, while I’m still running strong at age 81 in what can only jokingly be called “retirement”. Truth be told, I’m working harder and enjoying it more than ever.

What ugly frogs do you have in your cupboard? Here are 10 frogs you should swallow.

1. A Rigorous Daily Exercise Program

I once saw a stand-up comedian who said he didn’t exercise because “it is boring, and it hurts.” That’s two ugly frogs on one plate!

But your body and mind are an interrelated system, one in which maintenance is critical. A “healthy mind in a healthy body” is the oldest of adages and was written because it is a core truth.

And here is the fun bit:

Exercise makes all the other tasks easier and more enjoyable because the body and mind are fully ready to take them on.

2. Eat Three Healthy Meals Each Day

I have had employees for who donuts were a primary food group. Some salesmen live on fast food while on the road. Others think whiskey and fried chicken is all they need for dinner. And none of those people excelled.

As with exercise, the body – and thus the mind – cannot operate well enough to do the tough things ahead, and this enables procrastination. This in turn allows the ugly frogs in your life to gather and breed.

Here’s some nice advice for you: 9 Simple Healthy Eating Rules for Busy People

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3. Do the Task You Dread First

Not second. Not after lunch. Not “when I can get around to it.” But now!

Before anyone else has had enough coffee to speak coherently, when you awake, write down the 10 things you need to get done and order them from the least pleasant to the most. Then don’t dare move on to item #2 until item #1 is complete.

4. Repair a Relationship

Find someone with whom you have a problem and do a little work to heal things.

We are not alone in life or in work. We depend on people and they depend on us. When relationships are dysfunctional, so are our lives.

It can be very unpleasant approaching someone with whom you are not getting along, but it is vastly more unpleasant to allow the relationship to fester. Heal it sooner rather than later.

Take a look at these 15 Ways to Rebuild a Broken Relationship and learn how to repair a relationship.

5. Find Someone Different Each Day to Shower Praise

Humans need to feel valued. That is part of the problem in our inner cities – the youth feel devalued and turn to gangs for any sense of validation.

Your family, your friends, your coworkers, your boss, your pastor, your mechanic, your waitress … they all need to feel appreciated because they are all human beings.

Don’t praise only the select few with whom you associate most often. Find someone for whom your praise will seemingly come from out of nowhere. It makes their day.

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6. Read a Good Book Once a Month

Groucho Marx once said:

“I find television very educational. Whenever someone turns on a television, I go into another room and read a book.”

Books are educational. Even good fiction exposes you to other societies, philosophies, cultures and thinking. With the marvels of the digital age, there are more and more books one every conceivable topic hitting the “shelves” every day.

Instead of wasting an hour watching TV after dinner, invest an hour reading.

Leo Babauta has some unique suggestions on picking up reading: 14 Ways to Cultivate a Lifetime Reading Habit

7. Limit Your Time on Devices

We stare at rectangles a lot these days — our phones, our tablets, or computer monitors, and our televisions.

Digital devices do provide a lot of value, just ask any grandparent who gets videos of their grandchildren on a regular basis. But some people don’t know when to stop, endlessly scrolling through page after page of meaningless content.

Set a daily limit on your device time and stick to that limit. Here’s a simple guide on how to do it: The Ultimate Guide To Unplugging Technology For A Better Life

8. Work No More Than 48 Hours per Week

I ran a semiconductor company in a very competitive industry for 37 years and rarely worked longer than this.

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If you find yourself working long hours, then add this ugly frog to your list for tomorrow:

Discover and cure what is dysfunctional in your job, team or company that is causing you to work overtime … and fix it.

9. Be Frugal – Spend Wisely

Money is like oxygen – life gets unlivable if you run out. Yet people commonly spend on things they don’t need, stuffing older possessions into storage to make room for the new items.

Being frugal is not being cheap. It is merely not spending on things you really do not need.

By not spending, you both increase your cash/oxygen and remove the stress of wanting “things”. The Buddhists are right in observing that desire is the source of much misery.

Get more inspirations from this article: 7 Ways To Spend Money Wisely

10. Learn to Love What You Hate Doing

Enjoy your ugly frogs. When I ran my company, I found joy in joyless tasks by knowing that my attention to those details and seeing how every aspect of my company was operating, fulfilled my vision. Eating my ugly frogs led me to being profitable 36 of my 37 years in business.

Above all else, know that doing is the soul of life. Doing what you don’t like doing, and doing it well, brings vast rewards … but only after your plate of ugly frogs is cleared.

More About Achieving Success

Featured photo credit: Eunice De Guzman via unsplash.com

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Ray Zinn

Ray Zinn is an inventor, entrepreneur, investor, angel, bestselling author and the longest serving CEO of a publicly traded company in Silicon Valley.

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Published on October 14, 2021

How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

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How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

Do you ever worry about being exposed as a “fraud?” You’re not alone. It’s actually quite common for people to feel like imposters. In fact, approximately 70 percent of people admit to having experienced impostor syndrome[1] at some point in their lives — a Twitter poll found that 87 percent of people have experienced this.[2] Even successful and famous people like Tom Hanks, Howard Schultz, and Natalie Portman suffer from imposter syndrome.

But, what exactly is imposter syndrome. And, more importantly, how can you silence it?

Originally coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., ABPP, and Suzanne Imes, Ph.D., the term “impostor syndrome” describes symptoms that include being unable to internalize accomplishments and being afraid of being exposed as a fraud.

The individual may also be plagued by chronic self-doubt and believe that they’re unqualified for success despite evidence to the contrary. Inadequacies, fears of failure, and disbelief that success is a matter of luck or timing are also common.

If you don’t address this phenomenon, feeling like an impostor can prevent you from achieving ambitious goals. Moreover, those experiencing these feelings tend to over-prepare or procrastinate — which obviously hinders productivity and reaching goals. And, as if that weren’t bad enough, imposter syndrome prevents you from pursuing new challenges and opportunities.

Do you feel like you’re suffering from impostor syndrome? If so, don’t beat yourself up. After all, there are effective ways to overcome these feelings in a healthy and proactive way.

1. Don’t Hide It.

“Firstly, acknowledge it,” advises Claudine Robson,[3] the Intentional Coach. “You give strength to imposter syndrome by letting it continue to peck away at your confidence unchecked.” It can only be banished if you acknowledge it as soon as possible and break the silence.

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“Then you need to separate your feelings from facts,” Robson adds. “One thing imposter syndrome does very effectively is to mix up your perceptions of reality.”

If you can, take a step back and look at the situation objectively. “Recognize when you should — and when you should not — feel fraudulent,” she says. Appreciate and acknowledge the task, intellect, and insight that have led to your success.

You might even be able to take action by recognizing that the reason you feel fraudulent is that you’re new to a task. “That gives you a path forward; learning is growth, don’t deny yourself that.”

2. Implement the STOP Technique

In her book Cognitive Enlightenment, Melinda Fouts, Ph.D., outlines a technique to overcome imposter syndrome using what she calls the STOP technique.

“STOP is an acronym for ‘silence the oppressive player,” Fouts explains in Forbes.[4] “You need to eradicate this tape that is playing 24/7, whether you are conscious of it or not. It plays loudest when we are tired, hungry, or feeling defeated.”

Steps to implementing the STOP technique and rewiring your brain are as follows:

To replace the tape of not good enough, you need a “launch sentence.” “I’m more than good enough” would is an example of a solid launch statement.

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Put your launch sentence in prominent locations, such as your car’s dashboard or computer. How come? The reason is that as the tape plays, you won’t be able to remember your launch statement.

Continue to say “stop” until you recall your launch sentence, says Fouts.

Put your launch sentence into your own words and pontificate.

While going about your daily tasks, like while driving or exercising, practice your launch sentence so you can recall it when you need it in the future.

“I am told this sounds simple and it does,” she adds. However, this technique is challenging when your negative tape is playing. You will not want to replace the tape every day while your brain is rewiring itself. “It is these moments you can’t give up.”

3. Distinguish Humility and Fear

When it comes to hard work and accomplishments, there’s humility, and then there’s fear. In other words, having a high level of competence can lead one to discount its value occasionally. However, as Carl Richards wrote in an article for the New York Times,[5] “After spending a lot of time fine-tuning our ability, isn’t it sort of the point for our skill to look and feel natural?”

The problem is that we feel unworthy from time to time. But, as Seth Godin explained in a blog post,[6] “When you feel unworthy, any kind response, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, the luck of the draw.”

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Feeling worthy without feeling entitled is possible. And, finding the right balance between them is critical for overcoming impostor syndrome. “Humility and worthiness have nothing at all to do with defending our territory,” Godin continues. “We don’t have to feel like a fraud to also be gracious, open, or humble.”

4. Keep a “Brag Sheet”

When you were sending out college applications, did you build yourself a “brag sheet?” If not, here’s a clean description from Shawna Newman,[7] “A brag sheet is very similar to a student resume – it highlights your accomplishments, key experiences, leadership skills, and employment throughout your secondary education.” In short, “it’s a quick reference guide with all the details and achievements for someone trying to get to know you better.”

While it may be awkward at first, you can apply the same concept when coping with imposter syndrome. Just compose a list of your accomplishments, activities, skills. That’s it. Just remember Godin’s advice and also be humble and gracious.

As an added perk, besides being an effective way to talk myself up, I’ve also found that this has helped me stop comparing myself to others. Instead of harping about other people’s milestones, I’m honing in on what I’ve done.

5. Celebrate Wins, Period

Speaking of accomplishments, they shouldn’t be categorized as small or big. After all, you feel as if you don’t belong when you have imposter syndrome. So, the more you celebrate your wins, the more confident you’ll become.

Furthermore, accept compliments without qualifying them and practice listening to praise every day. Finally, become kinder to yourself by saying at least one kind thing to yourself daily. And, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.

6. Assemble a Legion of Superheroes

“You know how corporations have a board of directors to — in theory — make them stronger, maintain checks and balances, leverage resources, and help advance the organization’s vision?” asks inspirational speaker, speaking coach, and creative consultant Tania Katan.[8] “Why not assemble your own board of directors to leverage resources to help make your career stronger, keep you in check and balanced, and advance your vision?”

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“My friend Alison Wade, president of conferences, training, and consulting at Techwell, calls her personal board of directors her “front-row” — those are the people she invites to sit spitting distance from the stage, cheer her on, challenge her, and review her performance,” Katan writes.

As for Katan, she calls hers a “legion of superheroes.” The reason? “I dig the idea of joining forces to do good in the corporate galaxy.”

It’s important to have a diverse group of individuals who will defend you. Ideally, they should be varied in all dimensions, such as cultural background, way of thinking, and skills.

Katan recommends that you meet together frequently, whether if that’s once a week or every quarter. “Share your experiences, fears, creative ideas, aspirations,” she adds. “Celebrate each other’s accomplishments.” You also need to both support and challenge each other. “Discover what you are capable of doing when you combine your powers.”

7. Visualize Success

Follow the example of a professional athlete by imagining yourself crushing that presentation or project. You’ll enjoy the relief from performance-related stress. And, more importantly, it can help you avoid focusing on the worst-case scenario.

Final Words of Advice

While there’s no single formula to cure imposter syndrome, the tips listed above are a start. After all, your success depends on your ability to fight the negative effects of it. For example, feeling unworthy over time can lead to crippling anxiety and depression if left untreated.

If you’ve tried the above, then make sure that you speak to someone about what you’re experiencing, whether it’s a mentor, peer group, or licensed professional. And, above all else, there’s a place at the table for everyone — no matter what your inner voice is telling you.

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How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome was originally published on Calendar by John Rampton.

Featured photo credit: Laurenz Kleinheider via unsplash.com

Reference

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