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Last Updated on May 14, 2019

How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

Ever heard the saying ‘Change is the only constant’?

Everyone without a doubt goes through changes in their lives whether it be a physical state of literal aging, or a mental state of emotional maturity, or regression in some cases. They all nonetheless signify change, yet some of us seem to embrace it better than others.

I have to admit that when it comes to change, I’m not the most accepting. Don’t get me wrong. I love a challenge and am not one to sit still and stay stagnant. Yet, the soothing feeling of being in my ‘comfort zone’ is also one that makes embracing change a lot harder, especially when the change I’m about to make is not easy, and perhaps even something that I dislike.

Fear of uncertainty kicks in and I start wondering if it’s too much sacrifice that I have to make. Perhaps I’m better off staying put where I’m at. Sound familiar?

Have you ever been in a situation where you know that things just aren’t working out? Whether it’s in your personal relationships or career development, you’re feeling somewhat stuck and unhappy with the way things are.

You need that change, yet you’re afraid to make the conscious decision to move because perhaps you’re not even sure of what it is that you need to change! Or you’re afraid it’s too late to have a fresh start, to begin again.

You might have been with the same company for the last 5 years, in the same position, doing the same thing and it’s not that you dislike your work. But, the thought of doing the same thing for the next 5 or 10 years scares you. You want to do more or perhaps even something completely different altogether.

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Or you could already be late into adulthood, where you’ve established a good career path and you’ve got a lot going on, such as a family to care for. You’re financially stable and could potentially be working towards your next promotion. But, somehow you’re not quite satisfied with what you’ve achieved.

There’s just something missing. And yet it feels like it’s too late to leave all that stability behind to embark on a completely new journey of discovery.

Why is that so many of us find ourselves limiting our windows of opportunity and potential because we think it’s too late to start afresh–or that we’re too old to start something? How to start over life?

Meet Jack

I have a friend by the name of Jack. At age 37, he’s a Senior Manager at one of the Big Four and has been working in Audit for over 15 years. He’s got a great salary, owns his own apartment and enjoys the finer things in life, but not without the heavy demands that his job brings.

On the surface it would look like he’s got life figured out. His next steps would be a promotion to becoming Director, or settling down with someone.

Yet, when I asked him a simple question a few months back, I was not at all surprised to hear his response. I asked if he was happy with his work, as he had been complaining earlier about some work related issues. He hesitated before answering that he sometimes wished he could quit his job to do something less stressful. But he’s become accustomed to this lifestyle and feels that it would be too late to give it up to pursue a new career or ambition. The stakes are too high. So he might as well just suck it up.

The external struggles that Jack faces are financial stability, social influences from his peers, the lavish lifestyle he leads and status or recognition that he gets from continuing with this job.

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Internally, Jack faces the risk of losing what he’s built over the years. Being an auditor also makes him a lot more cautious when making important decisions and it just doesn’t seem logical to give up this job for the pursuit of an alternative that would give more ‘meaning’ to his life.

How do you even quantify meaning? It just doesn’t seem like a smart move to make.

And this may be due to having a low internal locus of control, whereby you feel that external forces have greater control over your life than your own actions. You might feel that there are other much younger, more qualified individuals out there who will do better than you, so better not take the risk of starting something new. Or, maybe you don’t feel like you have the energy or time to start anything new at this stage in life.

You might have come across a similar scenario as Jack’s, or you might be a Jack. You’re now facing a wall. Whether it’s the stresses and demands of your job, the lack of satisfaction you get from your work, or the stagnant feeling of not being able to climb up the ladder of success, you have to decide if you want to tear down that wall or continue to let it enclose you.

It’s Not Too Late!

Well the good news is, that as our society continues to develop at such a rapid pace, it also means we have more opportunities to do things that were previously thought impossible if you were of a certain age, or past a certain phase in life. These days, more individuals are pushing the boundaries and breaking stereotypes.

I’m not just talking about age. Sure, age is only a state of mind–a social construct that should not determine or limit your capabilities and ambitions. But there’s more. It goes beyond external factors like time and age. It’s about you, and your ability to accept challenges and having the determination to break free from your existing situation.

To break free from our limitations, we’ve got to take a step back and gain a fresh perspective on just what limitations really are. On the surface, limitations are things that prevent you from doing something, but if you dig deeper, you’ll find that limitations are the things that keep you constrained inside a loop.

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They keep you stuck facing the same problems, having the same choices, and taking the same actions over and over, and over again. Limitations define the quality of your life. So if you want to improve your life, then you must break free from the limitations that keep you in the same loop everyday, month, and year.

It may seem that the limitations that you’re facing are out of your control–or something that just happens to you. But, your reality is derived from your perception.

It’s not reality that’s important, but rather, how you perceive your reality. Being able to control how you look at things is the key to breaking free, and starting over again. Shaping your perception is so powerful that just a small change in perspective can completely change everything–from your motivation, outlook, self esteem to your limitations!

So all limitations really start from your mind.

You can learn to take control of your limitations and take control of your dreams.

Going back to Jack’s case, I offered him a solution to his dilemma. It wasn’t a dramatic solution, yet it was something that allowed him to go through total transformation in his life without having to risk time, effort or pain. It wasn’t asking him to quit his job or take a plunge. I simply introduced the Breakthrough Framework that would allow him to work his way out of his current circumstances, to be in control again.

The Solution: The Breakthrough Framework

The Breakthrough Framework provides an overall paradigm shift for Jack to turn any limitation he may be having, into an opportunity that is achievable.

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By going through each of this 4 step journey, he’s able to transform his mind and actions towards the change that is needed to achieve his ultimate goals, and truly break free from his limitations.

Jack used the 7 Cornerstone Skills, which enhanced the actions he took following the framework.

These 7 Cornerstone Skills weren’t exactly new to him. He just didn’t know how to make the right connections between each skill, or he hadn’t dived deep enough into them to discover his full potential. After going through the 4 step Breakthrough Framework journey, Jack was able to see things in a totally new perspective, and put new actions in place.

Jack realized there were many new dimensions to seeing and doing things! Jack also never saw himself as being a creative person; especially in the industry that he’s working in, you would think creativity is of least importance. However he soon discovered that there’s so much more to creativity than simply being a ‘natural’ talent. He was now able to harness his creativity to break down the wall that he was facing.

With this framework in place, Jack is now able to apply it to different limitations or obstacles and find hidden opportunities within them, which he could never have done before. It allowed him to no longer feel trapped.

Over 30% of adults experience a crisis like this. Don’t fall in this category and become a person who lets life pass them by only to regret it when you’re retired or way into old age. Don’t let your life plateau and waste away in the daily grind for the next twenty years. Don’t give up on the potential you still have hidden and locked away by your current state.

Become ten times more effective at 40+ than you could ever be at 20. Start pursuing the things you wanted to do your whole life, without giving up on your current roles and responsibilities. Rewind your outlook and bring your energy and motivation back to when life was still full of dreams and possibilities. But, this time, actually start to achieve them.

Tired of being held back by your limitations? It’s time to break free from them, and start living out your best days. We’ve got the solution at Lifehack — Find out More About Our Solution Here!

Featured photo credit: Pat Kwon via unsplash.com

More by this author

Leon Ho

Founder & CEO of Lifehack

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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