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Published on January 27, 2021

How To Deal With Inner Conflict And Free Yourself

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How To Deal With Inner Conflict And Free Yourself

Imagine two souls locked up in one body fighting for dominance. Inner conflict is the most painful and mentally exhausting human burden that ravishes even the calmest of hearts. That turmoil within you is called inner conflict, and it is something humans have unfortunately created by themselves.

Inner conflict is a constant battle that hinders us from making a smooth decision. It is our thoughts and emotions trying to override what we know is morally right or wrong. This feeling of conflict translates into fear, anger, disgust, confusion, loneliness, etc.

What Is Inner Conflict?

As mentioned, inner conflict is a raging war within oneself. It is being indecisive, but it is much deeper than indecisiveness. This attribute can range from the simplest decision, like taking a bus or Uber to work to picking red shoes instead of blue ones. It can be anything morally, sexually, political, religious, and more. The decision to compromise or not is the result of inner conflict.

Generally, most people avoid conflict like a plague. They see it as negative energy or bouts of emotions that cannot be dealt with at the moment. As a result, many people suffering from inner conflict either suppress, deny, or withdraw from circumstances that exaggerate the situation or believe it does not exist. Well, the latter works great for external conflicts. In as much as inner conflict feels obstructive, positive outcomes do result from it.

However, when you decide (hoping it is soon) to deal with your inner conflict, only then will you win. Even if you lose, it is a win for acknowledging it. Never assume that dealing with your inner conflict makes you a winner. No, it does not always happen that way. It only means you are accepting and looking for viable channels to disperse the feelings within you.

Before discussing various types of conflict, remember this: Even though conflict is inevitable, freeing yourself from its grip is possible.

At the end of the day, conflict regardless of its kind or source challenges you to become more creative and smart about your decision-making. There are plenty of examples, such as a person who believes in women’s rights but thinks she must be submissive in marriage.

What Causes Inner Conflicts?

The battle between what you know and how you feel is an age-old one that will forever happen. The disagreement between our hearts and head is real. Your head will always be the deciding factor of your existence.

However, as long as we attach feelings to things, our hearts will come into play. Moreover, we live in a society influenced by emotions rather than thoughts, hence the beginning of the causes of inner conflict.

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Our desire to satisfy the needs of our surroundings is the cause of conflict. Our heads offer a focused and linear kind of intelligence while our hearts are free and illogical. Finding a common ground between these two is like being locked up in a maze.

There is no simple formula for resolving inner conflict. However, there are steps you can take to free yourself from such craziness.

So, what causes inner conflict? The inability to find a balance between our heart and head results in inner conflict, and when our actions match our values, we call it a win. However, when they fail to align, it results in shame, disgrace, and embarrassment.

What Is the Origin of Inner Conflicts?

Humans experience inner conflict for a variety of reasons, but tracing it to one source is not possible. Some factors that trigger it are:

  • Our background and upbringing
  • Our belief, doctrine, cultures, and traditions
  • Our society and the values we learned or adopted into our adulthood

The truth is that the more mentally attached you are to any of the above or anything in life, the more inner conflict you are likely to suffer from.

How Do You Know When Inner Conflict Is Arising?

You know inner conflict is brewing when you find yourself contesting your values or beliefs for options less significant. For example, it is fighting hard to keep your virginity while persuading your boyfriend to understand that you love and value your relationship.

Often, when a negative thought gradually overwhelms a good deed, inner conflict arises. When you feel that heaviness in your spirit or uneasiness in the pit of your stomach, beware because inner conflict might be around the corner.

Furthermore, when you find yourself forcefully trying to suppress the need to satisfy a bad one or giving significance to it, there is a problem.

How Do People With Inner Conflict Behave?

Inner conflict is defined as the confusion between accepting and aligning your belief with what is presented to you.

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A person suffering from internal conflict exhibits the following behavioral patterns:

  • cannot make up their own minds at any particular moment.
  • value the opinion and ideal of others than their own
  • does not accept their point of view as valid and significant (always willing to bend backward for others)
  • always doubt his or her credibility.
  • have no stable mindset about a situation and always.
  • do not feel challenged and are easily roped into guilt.
  • cannot make a decision and stick by it, and always seek the support of others to buttress their point
  • is uncertain about life and how to go about achieving their purpose in it.

Types of Inner Conflict

Now that we know more about the causes and effects of inner conflict, here are the different types that can affect us:

1. Sexual Conflict

This is one inner conflict that intertwines with other conflicts. An example of sexual conflict is denying your sexual identity because of what the world thinks. For example, today, we see people who are stuck in unhappy circumstances because of the failure to accept and acknowledge that part of ourselves.

2. Moral Conflict

This arises when our personal ethics and values are put to the test. For example, a person believes in being truthful and honest. Yet, they are willing to tell a lie to save a life or friends. Moral conflict arises when you are caught between two opposing sides and trying to fulfill both regardless of the consequences.

3. Religious Conflict

This is the most common type of inner conflict ravaging the human mind today. In the name of believing in God, many people become extremists just to display their loyalty. An example is accepting that blood transfusion can cure a loved one yet disregarding it because it goes against your belief.

4. Political Conflict

A clear example surrounds us in the recently concluded election in the US. This is a case where people know that democracy is for the people yet are willing to sacrifice it to please one man or for the selfishness of a few men who stake the lives of millions for a roomful of people.

5. Self-Image Conflict

This happens in many forms, but it is when a belief contradicts the image you have created in your mind. For example, a person disregards fat people because of how they look and believe their weight is the cause of their problem. Then, one day, they meet a big person who is confident and loves themselves. All of a sudden, you are caught up in relinquishing those beliefs and accepting the new angle.

6. Love Conflict

This happens when we love people and yet will not think twice about hurting them. For example, we love our partners but cannot tolerate their shortcomings regardless of how much we love them. This is the cause of marriages that end in divorce as even the ones we love, we have to let go sometimes just to find peace.

7. Interpersonal conflict

This is a battle between what you believe and what you like. For example, you hate parties because you accept it is a breeding ground for immorality and other vices to play out. Yet, you cannot wait to listen to the latest gossip about a party happening or just happened around. Another example is disliking smoking but accepting that it is okay for people to smoke if they like it.

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8. Existential Conflict

This is conflict arising due to your belief in the existence and occurrence of life as we know it. For example, knowing that God is a reality but doubting the idea of paradise or even life after death. It is also conflict arising from contradicting your declarations and beliefs about them.

Freeing Yourself

Having inner conflict affects us negatively. Here are ways you can free yourself from it:

1. Acknowledge the Inner Conflict

Genuine acknowledgment happens when the mind is open, receptive, and devoid of any form of criticism. Inner conflict drags us back and forth, making it challenging to ascertain the problem or devise a solution.

However, when you acknowledge the issues, it is easier to define the solution that will resolve them. Furthermore, you must be conscious of the duality of your mind. Do not take sides. But in that space, sit down and discuss the “whys” to ascertain what is best for you at the moment.

No one else but you should do this. It is a challenge as humans will seek to validate one over the other, but maturity and strength will help you through this stage. Remember, you cannot resolve what you do not agree with or deny.

2. Detachment

As mentioned above, when inner conflict arises, there is a duality that we must acknowledge. However, our desire to remain attached to beliefs and ideologies that do not conform to our present realities causes inner conflict.

If your perception changes, then everything else should, too. The consequences of inner conflict are rejection, fear, abandonment, loneliness, and more. If you cannot handle the consequences of inner conflict, then be stern in your decision and stay away from circumstances that might trigger such conflicts.

3. Gain Clarity

Lack of understanding is the broadest platform for conflict to grow, misplace priorities, values, and a clear and visible display of indecisiveness.

Clarity allows you to separate the “what” from the “how” and enables a deeper understanding of the things that need to be done. Gaining clarity requires deep insight within you and the willingness to accept the truth rather than what you want.

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4. Calm Your Mind Down

Your inner thoughts are almost likely negative ideas that are louder than the voices of reasoning. If you are alone when these creepy voices arise, practice small distracting activities to calm your mind. Calming your mind allows you to detach and gain clarity easily of the situation at hand.

It is not a way to escape from the problem but to put you in a place of peace until you can accurately discern what is next. Some activities to help are breathing exercises, music, reading, playing an instrument, cooking, and meditation, listening to positive affirmations, or nature watching.

If you are at work, step out for some fresh air or give yourself a minute or two to breathe deeply in the restroom.

5. Identify the Conflict

In this article, I have identified 8 inner conflicts that can crop up at any time. To free yourself from any situation, including conflicts, you must identify which one it is.

For example, imagine yourself arguing with your office colleagues about politics, but realize it is becoming religious or moral. It is time to step back and reassess the atmosphere before you get in too deep or say something that is not you. The ability to identify your inner conflict at any given moment heightens your understanding of the situation to enables you to channel your energy to the right channel.

Final Thoughts

While it is difficult to openly agree to the inner battles raging within us, ignoring and denying their existence means robbing yourself of positive energy in life. Inner conflicts are like your shadow—you feed them directly or indirectly. Rather than be at the mercy of your feeling, admit, identify, and discard them now.

More Tips on How to Deal With Inner Conflict

Featured photo credit: Mor Shani via unsplash.com

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Jacqueline T. Hill

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Last Updated on December 6, 2021

Feeling Lost? 40 Quotes to Help You Find Meaning in Life

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Feeling Lost? 40 Quotes to Help You Find Meaning in Life

Sometimes, we carry with us ancient wisdom that has been whispered through generations where we find strength for what we need. Other times, we sense our happiness and sanity have been swept away, and we float rudderless in our space. We wonder if we’re heading in the right direction and feel doom rather than the transformation. In these moments, we may need some feeling lost quotes to help us find inspiration again.

During the times when we feel lost, it’s too easy to forget the comfort of good times and wade through the fluff that separates us from the pack.

I often work in leadership and have to test my limits and inspire those I’m leading. One of the quotes I keep in mind by T.S. Elliot is:

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

Knowing how you will perform in a crisis, personally or professionally, can help you get through tough times. The people who tend to work best in a crisis or stay calm in stressful times are those who are honest and forthright.

We often try to find sense in our lives with logic, reducing perceived risks by increasing control. The problem with control is you can hold on too tight, narrowing your options and missing the big picture.

Trying to squeeze action out of undefined goals only increases the pressure. Being happy comes from a sense of self and freedom, not a narrow list you’ve locked yourself into.

Sometimes, we need to observe our life in new ways and examine it with wisdom we doubt we have. Those big successes are done with small incremental actions done every day. Who will you choose to be in times of doubt?

Whether you bookmark this page for future inspiration or show off powerful, inspiring quotes on your T-shirt, coffee mug, key chain, and screen saver, these 40 feelings lost quotes will help remind you of your true essence.

We can reconnect with our priorities and take inspiration from both the ancients and modern visionaries with some of my favorite words below that inspire simplicity and truth.

Feeling Lost Quotes

1. “If you are working on something you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you” –Steve Jobs

2. “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” –Gordon Eadie

3. “One of the truest tests of integrity is a blunt refusal to be compromised.” –Chinua Achebe

4. “The fears we don’t face become our limits.” –Amy Elizabeth

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5. “Be who you needed when you were younger.” –Anonymous

6. “We generate fears when we sit. We overcome them by action.” –Dr. Henry Link

7. “The intangible represents the real power of the universe. It is the seed of the tangible.” –Bruce Lee

8. “Storms make trees take deeper roots.” –Dolly Parton

9. “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” –Henry Ford

10. “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” –Vincent Van Gogh

11. “Stop acting so small, you are the universe in ecstatic motion.” –Rumi

12. “A tree that is unbending is usually broken.” –Loa Tzu

13. “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” –Plutarch

14. “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” –Plato

15. “Your teacher can open the door, but you must enter by yourself.” –Chinese proverb

16. “To get lost is to learn the way.” –African Proverb

17. “Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” –Zig Ziglar

18. “Do you know who you are? Don’t ask. Act. Action will delineate and define you.” –Thomas Jefferson

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19. “Give thanks for what you are today and go on fighting for what part of you will be gone tomorrow.” –William Shakespeare

20. “Sorrow looks back. Worry looks around. Faith looks up.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

21. “One day you will ask me which is more important, my life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life.” –Kahlil Gibran

22. “You were born to be real, not to be perfect.” –Anonymous

23. “After climbing a great hill, one only finds there are many more hills to climb.” –Nelson Mandela

24. “We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.” –Maya Angelou

25. “I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance and affection to be art.” –Kahlil Gibran

26. “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” –Japenese Proverb

27. “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell

28. “Go within every day and find the inner strength so that the world will not blow your candle out.” — Katherine Dunham

29. “One swallow does not make a summer, neither does one fine day. Similarly, one day or brief time of happiness does not make a person entirely happy.” — Aristotle

30. “There are two ways to live your life. One is as if nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.” — Albert Einstein

31. “You got to go down a lot of wrong roads to find the right one.” — Bob Parson

32. “Anger, resentment, and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others. It only changes yours.” — Shannon L. Alder

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33. “To be lost is as legitimate a part of your process as being found.” — Alex Ebert

34. “Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.” — Henry Rollins

35. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.” — Elbert Hubbard

36. “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” — Vivian Greene

37. “Nothing is more beautiful than the smile that has struggled through the tears.” — Demi Lovato

38. “Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don’t serve them tea.” — Shunryu Suzuki

39. “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” — Robert H. Schuller

40. “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” — C.S. Lewis

Sometimes It’s Ok to Feel Lost

After looking at these feeling lost quotes, it is easy for someone to be confused. But these inspirational quotes will guide you to hear a voice every time when the risk is high, and you have nowhere to run. It is always easy to choose the shortcut and ignore the voice of the subconscious to do the right thing!

No matter how dire the circumstances might be, you need to make efforts and find ways to uplift your morale. Not making an effort is more painful than the risk of immersing your thoughts in negativity.

When you are feeling lost, it is natural to be confused about the next step. However, you have to determine when the risk of staying in a sad state for a longer period is causing more harm than good.

And don’t you worry, it’s okay sometimes to feel lost and not know where you are heading in your life. We go through various phases in life, and none of them stay permanent. Remember that “Life is a work-in-progress” and this too shall pass. Keeping hope is very important if you want to sail through the tides of life.

Don’t Be too Hard on Yourself

Everyone is fighting their fight in their ways, but none can say – “I know it all.” Life is a constant struggle, and everyone has to push through personally to overcome obstacles.

Whether it is your professional life that’s making you feel lost or your personal life brought about this state of mind, remember that you alone can find the solution. Happiness is a state of mind, and you alone can control the emotions that can bring a change in your attitude when you are feeling lost.

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No one can tell you what your purpose is in the world, and only you have to decide that on your own. The universe has given us life and one that teaches us various things through unique experiences. Some might be good, and some might be bad.

So, don’t beat yourself up or be hard on yourself even if you have not yet figured it out. It’s okay! You don’t owe anyone an explanation about why it is taking so long or why haven’t you been able to figure it out yet. Go at your own pace, and you shall reach where you intend to. Nothing is permanent, and you will find your way out. It’s just a matter of time.

Rather than complaining and belittling yourself, you can try brainstorming ideas to help you move on. Procrastinating and beating yourself up will only drown the motivation and bring nothing of value but just self-pity.

Don’t forget if you set your heart to something, you can achieve it. Feeling lost is not a permanent state, and to uplift your emotions, you need to have faith.

Final Thoughts

Many of these feeling lost quotes have a common core. That is, to take a step back and view yourself in a new way.

Take action and make inspiration a routine. To act creates learning, and that builds confidence, provides direction, and eliminates doubt.

Imagine what you want it to be so that your vibration matches your desire. We can’t snap our fingers to instantly change feeling lost, but we can increase our situational awareness with our emotions and places where our lives have or may take an abrupt turn.

We take inspiration from our daily lives in as many individually unique forms as we are different. Inspiration can strike instantly and sporadically or feel like a trickle that slowly grows into a majestic waterfall crashing through with creative energy. That trickle is what will keep you going in dark times.

When you’re in a place where you feel lost and don’t recognize yourself, allow some inner compassion for the person you are right in that moment[1].

You have the power to create your world, one step at a time, and these feeling lost quotes can help. You choose how you think. Tune in to how you feel and why.

Remember you have the power to be, have, and do anything you desire. Tough times never last, but tough people do.

See what I did there? Another quote to inspire original thought as it applies to you. It’s been said that if you want to test a man’s character, give him power and you will see his true colors. So keep your inspiration on tap for when you need a reminder of your purpose.

More to Inspire You When You’re Feeling Lost

Featured photo credit: Daniel Jensen via unsplash.com

Reference

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