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11 Simple Things You Can Do To Get Over Your Inner Fear

11 Simple Things You Can Do To Get Over Your Inner Fear

Wish-Upon-a-Star

    Saw a little girl touch a big bug and shout, “I conquered my fear! YES!” and calmly walk away. I was inspired.” ― Nathan Fillion

    What is fear? – a feeling triggered by threat, danger or pain. Most of the times, we humans tend to over-dramatize a situation and develop inner fear that hints at our insecurities and lack of capability to get by it. Often, you might found yourself stumble across an event where you are more tied down by your inner fear than the actual problem at hand. For some people, inner fears tend to develop certain complexes and personality disorders in the long-run. To avoid this from happening to you or any loved one. Read on these 11 simple things you can do to get over your inner fear.

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    1. You Are What You Think

    To an extent, this statement stands true. You can build confidence by thinking positively about yourself. It makes all the more reason to take control of your imagination instead of allowing it to exponentially magnetize your inner fear. During our moments of deep anxiety, we tend to imagine the worst-case scenarios that may not conform with reality. To overcome your inner fears, you can start thinking the positive outcomes. By thinking on a positive track of mind, it is likely for you develop the strength to face a situation. Don’t let your imagination get the best of you – remain positive and you are likely to stay calm.

    2. Fear of Death Won’t Make Death Go Away

    As children, we would often hide our faces behind our hands and consider a dreaded event to pass us by. With the vivid imagination children have, this was a seemingly workable approach. However, as adults, we know that inner fears can only be overcome by confrontation. The possibility of dying is an inner fear that will only hold you back from living. Another practical approach of confronting your fear of death is to examine the brave people around you who are preparing for their death and leaving an example behind for others to follow. An article published by Dr: Murphy elaborates the death of Nelson Mandela and helps in highlighting his courage in his life and even at the time of dying.

    3. Expose Yourself to Your Fear

    The best way to overcome your fear is to explore yourself and find what makes you afraid the most in phases. For example, if you are afraid of spiders, then start off by looking at a spider without freaking out. The next time, you can touch it and then finally hold it in your hands. Once, you have accomplished all these phases; then it is likely for you to overcome what you have been afraid of all along.

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    4. Get Fascinated By Your Fear

    Sometimes what we fear is also something that can create feelings of exhilaration in our bodies. This is what you want to achieve – become fascinated by your fear so much that you tend to enjoy experiencing it. Think about people in extreme sports. Don’t they get scared of heights, waterfalls and speed? But somehow, they are more thrilled in confronting their fear than being afraid of it. By seeing your fear as a positive source of energy, you are likely to embrace it and eventually overcome it.

    5. It’s Okay to Be Afraid

    What is important to remember is that it is okay to be afraid sometimes. Denying the inner fear is a common way of allowing it to integrate itself with your subconscious and cause you anxiety.  An inner fear develops on an account of a situation that is beyond your control. Feeling fearful by something is just a normal human reaction. Instead of shunning or reacting badly towards it, accept it. Acceptance is the first step of  overcoming your fear.

    6. Reward Yourself

    Overcoming a deep  rooted inner fear implies taking baby steps towards an overall recovery from it. It means that you need to celebrate each victory as it comes along the way. If you don’t give yourself the much needed pat on the back, the chances are that you will indirectly discourage your improvement. It is important to recognize your gradual recovery and reward yourself in order to completely overcome the inner fear.

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    7. Slow Breathing is a Useful Technique

    Being faced by your inner most fear can probably cause your brain to shut down and entire body to react passively. At such times, remember: slow breathing is the short circuit for anxiety.  It helps your body to calm down regardless of what your brain is causing you to think. Try counting quickly up to 7 to clear your mind and take a breath in. Breathe out by quickly, counting up to 11 in your mind. Repeat this until you are able to calm yourself which would probably take a minute or so. This is an effective way of relaxing your mind and body to overcome the situation at hand.

    8. Try Being Analytic

    When you go through a sudden panic attack, usually your brain is being over-emotional and subsiding your logic. The best thing to do at this time is to use a different part of your brain and force yourself to think in a logical and analytic manner. To achieve this, try scaling your fear from 1-10 where 10 is the highest terrifying state. When you feel anxious, ask yourself what is the level of your anxiety? By questioning your state of mind, you are tending yourself towards a calmer and better state of mind.

    9. Employing the “AWARE” Technique

    Whenever you are troubled by your inner fear, gain more control by using AWARE technique which is an acronym for:
    A:  accept the anxiety and your fear – you can not fight it unless you don’t recognize its presence.
    W: – watch the anxiety. Then analyze it by using point 7 and 8.
    A: – try “acting” normally. Although, a difficult thing for many people to do. However, the longer you act normally; the better. You will be able to provide your brain the signals of overall things to be in ideal condition.
    R:  stands for repeating these steps if required.
    E:  expect the best. Embracing your inner fear means that you take control of the situation and expect the outcome to be in your favor.

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    10. You’re Not Alone

    Many people consider to be exclusive in their fears. By considering that many others have gone through, or are still going through, the same type of fears, you are universally acknowledging a solution for your fear. There are many discussion groups and meetings for people going through similar kinds of fears. By joining such a group, you can openly discuss your fears and find a holistic approach in tackling your problem whenever it is triggered.

    11. Express Yourself

    Many psychologists recommend their patients to keep a journal and document their feelings whenever they become fearful. These journals are often a source of catharsis for people as they help in pointing out the trigger behind their inner fears. By going through the root cause of the fear, you are bettering your chances of finding a cure.  There are also many online discussion forums where people vent out their feelings of anxiety and depression. The primary advantage of expressing yourself is to help you vent out so that you are able to grab hold of the situation.

    Final Words…

    These are some of the simple ways of overcoming your inner fears. By practicing these rules from time-to-time, you are giving yourself the opportunity to hold a brave front against your fears. Remember, you are your best judge and advocate. Instead of going downhill and letting your guards down, you can practice these simple points and drive yourself to a total state of conquering your fears.  We all have an inner fear to overcome, tell us what works for you to subside your fear and get ahead in your life. Feel free to comment below and share your success story with us.
    So how do you get over your inner fear? Share your thoughts in the comments section below :)

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    Faisal Rehman

    Faisal Rehman writes about work and productivity, trying to help businessmen build their brands and increase sales.

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    Last Updated on May 21, 2019

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

    If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

    Example 1

    You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

    You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

    In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

    Example 2

    You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

    People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

    You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

    Example 3

    You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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    The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

    Example 4

    You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

    Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

    If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

    Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

    • Understand your own communication style
    • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
    • Communicate with precision and care
    • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

    1. Understand Your Communication Style

    To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

    In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

    Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

    2. Learn Others Communication Styles

    Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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    If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

    “How do you prefer to receive information?”

    This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

    To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

    3. Exercise Precision and Care

    A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

    On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

    Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

    I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

    I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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    In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

    The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

    Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

    4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

    Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

    In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

    “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

    Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

    Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

    It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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    It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

    It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

    Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

    Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

    The Bottom Line

    When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

    I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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    Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

    Reference

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