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11 Simple Things You Can Do To Get Over Your Inner Fear

11 Simple Things You Can Do To Get Over Your Inner Fear

Wish-Upon-a-Star

    Saw a little girl touch a big bug and shout, “I conquered my fear! YES!” and calmly walk away. I was inspired.” ― Nathan Fillion

    What is fear? – a feeling triggered by threat, danger or pain. Most of the times, we humans tend to over-dramatize a situation and develop inner fear that hints at our insecurities and lack of capability to get by it. Often, you might found yourself stumble across an event where you are more tied down by your inner fear than the actual problem at hand. For some people, inner fears tend to develop certain complexes and personality disorders in the long-run. To avoid this from happening to you or any loved one. Read on these 11 simple things you can do to get over your inner fear.

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    1. You Are What You Think

    To an extent, this statement stands true. You can build confidence by thinking positively about yourself. It makes all the more reason to take control of your imagination instead of allowing it to exponentially magnetize your inner fear. During our moments of deep anxiety, we tend to imagine the worst-case scenarios that may not conform with reality. To overcome your inner fears, you can start thinking the positive outcomes. By thinking on a positive track of mind, it is likely for you develop the strength to face a situation. Don’t let your imagination get the best of you – remain positive and you are likely to stay calm.

    2. Fear of Death Won’t Make Death Go Away

    As children, we would often hide our faces behind our hands and consider a dreaded event to pass us by. With the vivid imagination children have, this was a seemingly workable approach. However, as adults, we know that inner fears can only be overcome by confrontation. The possibility of dying is an inner fear that will only hold you back from living. Another practical approach of confronting your fear of death is to examine the brave people around you who are preparing for their death and leaving an example behind for others to follow. An article published by Dr: Murphy elaborates the death of Nelson Mandela and helps in highlighting his courage in his life and even at the time of dying.

    3. Expose Yourself to Your Fear

    The best way to overcome your fear is to explore yourself and find what makes you afraid the most in phases. For example, if you are afraid of spiders, then start off by looking at a spider without freaking out. The next time, you can touch it and then finally hold it in your hands. Once, you have accomplished all these phases; then it is likely for you to overcome what you have been afraid of all along.

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    4. Get Fascinated By Your Fear

    Sometimes what we fear is also something that can create feelings of exhilaration in our bodies. This is what you want to achieve – become fascinated by your fear so much that you tend to enjoy experiencing it. Think about people in extreme sports. Don’t they get scared of heights, waterfalls and speed? But somehow, they are more thrilled in confronting their fear than being afraid of it. By seeing your fear as a positive source of energy, you are likely to embrace it and eventually overcome it.

    5. It’s Okay to Be Afraid

    What is important to remember is that it is okay to be afraid sometimes. Denying the inner fear is a common way of allowing it to integrate itself with your subconscious and cause you anxiety.  An inner fear develops on an account of a situation that is beyond your control. Feeling fearful by something is just a normal human reaction. Instead of shunning or reacting badly towards it, accept it. Acceptance is the first step of  overcoming your fear.

    6. Reward Yourself

    Overcoming a deep  rooted inner fear implies taking baby steps towards an overall recovery from it. It means that you need to celebrate each victory as it comes along the way. If you don’t give yourself the much needed pat on the back, the chances are that you will indirectly discourage your improvement. It is important to recognize your gradual recovery and reward yourself in order to completely overcome the inner fear.

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    7. Slow Breathing is a Useful Technique

    Being faced by your inner most fear can probably cause your brain to shut down and entire body to react passively. At such times, remember: slow breathing is the short circuit for anxiety.  It helps your body to calm down regardless of what your brain is causing you to think. Try counting quickly up to 7 to clear your mind and take a breath in. Breathe out by quickly, counting up to 11 in your mind. Repeat this until you are able to calm yourself which would probably take a minute or so. This is an effective way of relaxing your mind and body to overcome the situation at hand.

    8. Try Being Analytic

    When you go through a sudden panic attack, usually your brain is being over-emotional and subsiding your logic. The best thing to do at this time is to use a different part of your brain and force yourself to think in a logical and analytic manner. To achieve this, try scaling your fear from 1-10 where 10 is the highest terrifying state. When you feel anxious, ask yourself what is the level of your anxiety? By questioning your state of mind, you are tending yourself towards a calmer and better state of mind.

    9. Employing the “AWARE” Technique

    Whenever you are troubled by your inner fear, gain more control by using AWARE technique which is an acronym for:
    A:  accept the anxiety and your fear – you can not fight it unless you don’t recognize its presence.
    W: – watch the anxiety. Then analyze it by using point 7 and 8.
    A: – try “acting” normally. Although, a difficult thing for many people to do. However, the longer you act normally; the better. You will be able to provide your brain the signals of overall things to be in ideal condition.
    R:  stands for repeating these steps if required.
    E:  expect the best. Embracing your inner fear means that you take control of the situation and expect the outcome to be in your favor.

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    10. You’re Not Alone

    Many people consider to be exclusive in their fears. By considering that many others have gone through, or are still going through, the same type of fears, you are universally acknowledging a solution for your fear. There are many discussion groups and meetings for people going through similar kinds of fears. By joining such a group, you can openly discuss your fears and find a holistic approach in tackling your problem whenever it is triggered.

    11. Express Yourself

    Many psychologists recommend their patients to keep a journal and document their feelings whenever they become fearful. These journals are often a source of catharsis for people as they help in pointing out the trigger behind their inner fears. By going through the root cause of the fear, you are bettering your chances of finding a cure.  There are also many online discussion forums where people vent out their feelings of anxiety and depression. The primary advantage of expressing yourself is to help you vent out so that you are able to grab hold of the situation.

    Final Words…

    These are some of the simple ways of overcoming your inner fears. By practicing these rules from time-to-time, you are giving yourself the opportunity to hold a brave front against your fears. Remember, you are your best judge and advocate. Instead of going downhill and letting your guards down, you can practice these simple points and drive yourself to a total state of conquering your fears.  We all have an inner fear to overcome, tell us what works for you to subside your fear and get ahead in your life. Feel free to comment below and share your success story with us.
    So how do you get over your inner fear? Share your thoughts in the comments section below :)

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    Faisal Rehman

    Faisal Rehman writes about work and productivity, trying to help businessmen build their brands and increase sales.

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    Last Updated on February 20, 2019

    How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home

    How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home

    Possessing effective communication skills is a powerful tool to have. Effective communication skills are essential to success in many aspects and areas of your life. There are a lot of jobs that require you to be a good communicator.

    Strong communication skills help you enjoy better relationships with friends and family. Being an effective communicator will give you advantages in more ways than you can imagine.

    Conversely, being poor at communicating will negatively impact your life.

    Let’s take a look at how to master effective communication skills at work and home.

    What is Effective Communication?

    Probably a good place to start is to paint a picture of what clear communication is.

    Effective communication is defined as verbal speech or other communication methods to get your point across. Sounds pretty simple, right? It does but there’s more to it than that.

    It’s really about how all of us interact and communicate in every aspect of our lives. It’s the ability to say something at the right time; to be able to get multiple people on the same page in a group decision. It’s how that one friend of yours who plans most of the activities is able to get everyone to the same place at the same time.

    Non-verbal communication is key to being effective as well. It’s the ability to have your body language say the right thing so the person you’re speaking to knows your listening.

    Effective communicators don’t react to situations with high emotion. It means not having to say something all the time in every situation. You are even being an effective communicator when you show up to pick your daughter up from the mall when you say you will. You are communicating to her that she can rely on you.

    Are You a Poor Communicator?

    Before we get too deep into how to be a master communicator, let’s take a look at your communication skills.

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    If you find yourself agreeing with a lot of these, you might want to sharpen your communication skills.

    • You’re constantly interrupting – Hey, I know, we all want to be listened to. We all want to get our point across. Most importantly, we want to be understood. If you find yourself interrupting all the time you aren’t listening enough.
    • Doing too much – Many of us are master multi-taskers. It’s not good if you are communicating with someone. When you try to do too much while speaking with someone, you aren’t paying attention to what they are saying. Lack of focus is bad.
    • Rambling – I know of several people I work with who do this constantly. I honestly dread having to speak to them. The worst part is even though a lot of words are coming out of their mouths, they really aren’t saying anything. I’m more confused after they answer my question.
    • Not being direct – Nothing wrong with emails or reports. However, if you can convey the same information quickly and directly to someone, it is much more effective. Why write a 2 paragraph email when you can pick up the phone and say the same information in 2 sentences?
    • Always talking about yourself – Everybody likes to relate things to their own experiences. It draws us together and helps us create a feeling of sharing and community. If you are always coloring someone else’s conversation with a similar situation in your life, people will think you are making everything about you. Don’t be that person!
    • Using a lot of qualifiers – Qualifiers are fine for the most part. When you use them as a crutch most of the time when you speak, it’s not helping your communication. Sometimes, we do this to makes things seem “softer”. Saying things like “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but…” or “I know what you’re thinking but…” over and over doesn’t help you communicate.
    • Your ears don’t work – If you don’t listen well, you can’t answer someone correctly. In order to be an effective communicator, you have to understand what someone else is saying to you. If you don’t listen with purpose you will only have part of the picture.
    • Bad body language – The importance of body language is well documented. If you don’t look at someone when they are speaking, it appears that you don’t really care what’s being said. This makes people feel like you don’t care what they are saying and it’s not important to you. Other bad body language examples include always crossing your arms and not looking someone in the eyes.

    What Effective Communication Can Do For You

    Let’s take a look at how being able to effectively communicate can help you at work and in your personal relationships.

    Work

    • Better client relationships – You certainly want a great communicator to be handling your client relationships. Strong communicators represent both the client and your company is the best manner.
    • Higher employee engagement – Pretty critical if you are a leader or a manager of people. An engaging and interactive communicator in a leadership position is wonderful for employees.
    • Getting better buy in from others – This is great whether you are a manager or individual contributor. Strong communicators tend to get people moving and working towards a common goal.
    • Helps mitigate conflict – Good communicators are able to help resolve conflicts quicker and easier. This helps smooth things over and keeps projects and initiatives moving forward.
    • Builds trust – You want to be able to trust who you work for and with. Effective communicators are good at establishing and building trust between people and groups.
    • Solves problems – Problems are solved by people with the ability to communicate clearly between groups and people. Those without good communication skills many times add to the confusion of a problem because they are unable to articulate their thoughts and ideas.

    Personal relationships

    • Creates closeness – A good communicator is able to help foster a feeling of closeness with his or her partner.
    • Makes conflict okay – It’s actually better to fight with your partner from time to time instead of never fighting. We all have differences of opinion and points of view. When we don’t express these and bury it inside by not communicating, it just comes out later in a more negative form.
    • Provides support – It’s nice to know that someone cares about you and supports you. A strong communicator will ask how you’re doing and be a good sounding board for what you’re going through.
    • Expressing feelings – People who are not effective communicators tend to be not very good at expressing how they feel. This makes it tough to share your feelings with you partner.
    • Get the loving you want – In order to get the physical, mental, and emotional love you want and need, you have to be able to communicate clearly and appropriately with your spouse or partner. This is done through effective communication.
    • Eliminate mistrust, doubt, faithlessness, and insecurities – Many times these seeds are sown due to a lack of communication. If your partner rarely tells you where he or she is going, you will tend to start coming up with your own ideas. Often these aren’t true but how would you know if you aren’t told?

    Can You Improve Your Communication Skills?

    The short answer is yes, of course you can improve your communication skills.

    Improving or changing anything in your life takes some work and effort but it can be done. You have to keep in mind your starting point and your goal.

    If you are not a very good communicator now and you want to be able to give a motivating speech to a large graduating class, you’d better get working.

    On the other hand, if you get along fairly well in general but want to be able to improve your relationship with your boss or spouse by being able to master effective communication, you may just need some guidance and practice.

    Either way, if you want to master effective communication skills at both work and home, it will take a little work and effort. Doing so will benefit you in many ways.

    How to Master Effective Communication Skills

    In general mastering effective communication skills will help you at both work and home. Let’s look at how to improve verbal, written, and body language communication skills. These will help you create better relationships everywhere you go!

    1. Learn how to listen

    Speaking is only half of the communication equation. Sharpen your listening skills so you are able to process what the other person is saying. You can then respond it a well-informed manner.

    Check out these active listening guidelines to be a better listener.

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    2. Make eye contact

    Having regular eye contact with someone while you are having a conversation shows you care what they are saying. When you are looking at the floor or out the window it gives the impression that you aren’t paying attention.

    Take a look at this advice on how to make engaging eye contact.

    3. Ask questions

    When you ask someone questions, you are able to clarify what they are saying to ensure you get the whole picture. If you don’t understand it fully, ask questions.

    Do you know that it takes some skills to ask questions too? Here’s how to be good at asking questions.

    4. Watch body language

    Watch both yours and the other persons.

    We all know if you have a conversation with your arms crossed the entire time, it gives off a bad vibe. Have open, engaging body language when speaking with someone.

    On the flip side, if you see someone’s eyes glazing over while speaking to you, it’s probably a good idea to wrap it up.

    Take a look at these top 20 body language indicators to learn more.

    5. Speak confidently

    Sometimes this is easier said than done. If you communicate in an open, direct, and clear manner, it subtly shows people that you are confident in what you are saying.

    It doesn’t mean you always have to be right but delivering your thoughts with confidence helps your case.

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    These tips will help you speak more confidently.

    6. Keep it simple

    You don’t always have to be succinct in your communication. There is a lot of value in being able to tell a great story.

    That being said, there are many instances where keeping it simple is very helpful. This is especially true at work in both verbal conversations as well as written like emails.

    7. Know your audience

    You should have a certain style when communicating with your boss. Another style of communication is better with your spouse and probably others with your kids or friends.

    Know your audience to help you communicate the most effectively.

    8. Be empathetic and understanding

    There is a massive amount of power in being empathetic. And I mean that in a very positive way.

    Showing that you are empathetic and understanding to another person goes a long way to creating a great bond with that person. We all want to be understood. It’s that simple.

    Think it’s a challenge for you? These 5 tips for empathetic listening will help you.

    9. Pause before reacting

    There have been a number of times when I’ve read an email that just came in and had an instant reaction to reading it. And I don’t mean a positive reaction. My less effective ways of dealing and communicating has been to send a scathing email back.

    When I’ve communicated more appropriately, I’ve waited a while before I responded. This is true in verbal situations as well.

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    10. Over communicate

    You’d think if you tell someone something that should be the end of it, right? Done deal. Not so fast.

    I’m not recommending you tell someone the same thing 10 times in a row. With as many distractions as we all have these days, it’s generally a good idea to follow up on something you’ve communicated a few times if it’s important.

    Conclusion

    Having effective communication skills at both work and home will help you immensely.

    At work, it helps you in your career in many ways.

    Communicating well with your boss leads to a solid, symbiotic working relationship. You’re able to clearly articulate what you need to do your job well. You can share your vision and strategy with your boss and others. Good communicators are needed in management roles and leading others. Fostering an environment of effective communication leads to a great work environment.

    At home, having effective communication skills will help you achieve the type of relationship you want with your spouse.

    You are able to speak freely and openly about your feelings. You can share your wants and needs in a manner that your spouse understands. Your spouse will feel understood and supported by you which is a wonderful feeling to have. And being able to have a disagreement and work through it due to strong communication skills is amazing.

    Look at how you can master effective communication skills at work and home to help create more satisfying relationships in all phases of your life.

    More Resources About Work Communication

    Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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