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Last Updated on December 2, 2020

11 Simple Ways To Get Rid Of Your Inner Fear

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11 Simple Ways To Get Rid Of Your Inner Fear

Saw a little girl touch a big bug and shout, “I conquered my fear! YES!” and calmly walk away. I was inspired.” ― Nathan Fillion

What is fear? – a feeling triggered by threat, danger or pain. Most of the times, we humans tend to over-dramatize a situation and develop inner fear that hints at our insecurities and lack of capability to get by it. Often, you might found yourself stumble across an event where you are more tied down by your inner fear than the actual problem at hand. For some people, inner fears tend to develop certain complexes and personality disorders in the long-run. To avoid this from happening to you or any loved one. Read on these 11 simple things you can do to get over your inner fear.

1. You Are What You Think

To an extent, this statement stands true. You can build confidence by thinking positively about yourself. It makes all the more reason to take control of your imagination instead of allowing it to exponentially magnetize your inner fear. During our moments of deep anxiety, we tend to imagine the worst-case scenarios that may not conform with reality. To overcome your inner fears, you can start thinking the positive outcomes. By thinking on a positive track of mind, it is likely for you develop the strength to face a situation. Don’t let your imagination get the best of you – remain positive and you are likely to stay calm.

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2. Fear of Death Won’t Make Death Go Away

As children, we would often hide our faces behind our hands and consider a dreaded event to pass us by. With the vivid imagination children have, this was a seemingly workable approach. However, as adults, we know that inner fears can only be overcome by confrontation. The possibility of dying is an inner fear that will only hold you back from living. Another practical approach of confronting your fear of death is to examine the brave people around you who are preparing for their death and leaving an example behind for others to follow. An article published by Dr: Murphy elaborates the death of Nelson Mandela and helps in highlighting his courage in his life and even at the time of dying.

3. Expose Yourself to Your Fear

The best way to overcome your fear is to explore yourself and find what makes you afraid the most in phases. For example, if you are afraid of spiders, then start off by looking at a spider without freaking out. The next time, you can touch it and then finally hold it in your hands. Once, you have accomplished all these phases; then it is likely for you to overcome what you have been afraid of all along.

4. Get Fascinated By Your Fear

Sometimes what we fear is also something that can create feelings of exhilaration in our bodies. This is what you want to achieve – become fascinated by your fear so much that you tend to enjoy experiencing it. Think about people in extreme sports. Don’t they get scared of heights, waterfalls and speed? But somehow, they are more thrilled in confronting their fear than being afraid of it. By seeing your fear as a positive source of energy, you are likely to embrace it and eventually overcome it.

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5. It’s Okay to Be Afraid

What is important to remember is that it is okay to be afraid sometimes. Denying the inner fear is a common way of allowing it to integrate itself with your subconscious and cause you anxiety.  An inner fear develops on an account of a situation that is beyond your control. Feeling fearful by something is just a normal human reaction. Instead of shunning or reacting badly towards it, accept it. Acceptance is the first step of  overcoming your fear.

6. Reward Yourself

Overcoming a deep  rooted inner fear implies taking baby steps towards an overall recovery from it. It means that you need to celebrate each victory as it comes along the way. If you don’t give yourself the much needed pat on the back, the chances are that you will indirectly discourage your improvement. It is important to recognize your gradual recovery and reward yourself in order to completely overcome the inner fear.

7. Slow Breathing is a Useful Technique

Being faced by your inner most fear can probably cause your brain to shut down and entire body to react passively. At such times, remember: slow breathing is the short circuit for anxiety.  It helps your body to calm down regardless of what your brain is causing you to think. Try counting quickly up to 7 to clear your mind and take a breath in. Breathe out by quickly, counting up to 11 in your mind. Repeat this until you are able to calm yourself which would probably take a minute or so. This is an effective way of relaxing your mind and body to overcome the situation at hand.

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8. Try Being Analytic

When you go through a sudden panic attack, usually your brain is being over-emotional and subsiding your logic. The best thing to do at this time is to use a different part of your brain and force yourself to think in a logical and analytic manner. To achieve this, try scaling your fear from 1-10 where 10 is the highest terrifying state. When you feel anxious, ask yourself what is the level of your anxiety? By questioning your state of mind, you are tending yourself towards a calmer and better state of mind.

9. Employing the “AWARE” Technique

Whenever you are troubled by your inner fear, gain more control by using AWARE technique which is an acronym for:

  • A:  accept the anxiety and your fear – you can not fight it unless you don’t recognize its presence.
  • W: – watch the anxiety. Then analyze it by using point 7 and 8.
  • A: – try “acting” normally. Although, a difficult thing for many people to do. However, the longer you act normally; the better. You will be able to provide your brain the signals of overall things to be in ideal condition.
  • R:  stands for repeating these steps if required.
  • E:  expect the best. Embracing your inner fear means that you take control of the situation and expect the outcome to be in your favor.

10. You’re Not Alone

Many people consider to be exclusive in their fears. By considering that many others have gone through, or are still going through, the same type of fears, you are universally acknowledging a solution for your fear. There are many discussion groups and meetings for people going through similar kinds of fears. By joining such a group, you can openly discuss your fears and find a holistic approach in tackling your problem whenever it is triggered.

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11. Express Yourself

Many psychologists recommend their patients to keep a journal and document their feelings whenever they become fearful. These journals are often a source of catharsis for people as they help in pointing out the trigger behind their inner fears. By going through the root cause of the fear, you are bettering your chances of finding a cure.  There are also many online discussion forums where people vent out their feelings of anxiety and depression. The primary advantage of expressing yourself is to help you vent out so that you are able to grab hold of the situation.

Final Words

These are some of the simple ways of overcoming your inner fears. By practicing these rules from time-to-time, you are giving yourself the opportunity to hold a brave front against your fears. Remember, you are your best judge and advocate. Instead of going downhill and letting your guards down, you can practice these simple points and drive yourself to a total state of conquering your fears.  We all have an inner fear to overcome, tell us what works for you to subside your fear and get ahead in your life. Feel free to comment below and share your success story with us.

Featured photo credit: Henk Mul via unsplash.com

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Faisal Rehman

Faisal Rehman writes about work and productivity, trying to help businessmen build their brands and increase sales.

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Published on October 14, 2021

How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

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How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

Do you ever worry about being exposed as a “fraud?” You’re not alone. It’s actually quite common for people to feel like imposters. In fact, approximately 70 percent of people admit to having experienced impostor syndrome[1] at some point in their lives — a Twitter poll found that 87 percent of people have experienced this.[2] Even successful and famous people like Tom Hanks, Howard Schultz, and Natalie Portman suffer from imposter syndrome.

But, what exactly is imposter syndrome. And, more importantly, how can you silence it?

Originally coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., ABPP, and Suzanne Imes, Ph.D., the term “impostor syndrome” describes symptoms that include being unable to internalize accomplishments and being afraid of being exposed as a fraud.

The individual may also be plagued by chronic self-doubt and believe that they’re unqualified for success despite evidence to the contrary. Inadequacies, fears of failure, and disbelief that success is a matter of luck or timing are also common.

If you don’t address this phenomenon, feeling like an impostor can prevent you from achieving ambitious goals. Moreover, those experiencing these feelings tend to over-prepare or procrastinate — which obviously hinders productivity and reaching goals. And, as if that weren’t bad enough, imposter syndrome prevents you from pursuing new challenges and opportunities.

Do you feel like you’re suffering from impostor syndrome? If so, don’t beat yourself up. After all, there are effective ways to overcome these feelings in a healthy and proactive way.

1. Don’t Hide It.

“Firstly, acknowledge it,” advises Claudine Robson,[3] the Intentional Coach. “You give strength to imposter syndrome by letting it continue to peck away at your confidence unchecked.” It can only be banished if you acknowledge it as soon as possible and break the silence.

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“Then you need to separate your feelings from facts,” Robson adds. “One thing imposter syndrome does very effectively is to mix up your perceptions of reality.”

If you can, take a step back and look at the situation objectively. “Recognize when you should — and when you should not — feel fraudulent,” she says. Appreciate and acknowledge the task, intellect, and insight that have led to your success.

You might even be able to take action by recognizing that the reason you feel fraudulent is that you’re new to a task. “That gives you a path forward; learning is growth, don’t deny yourself that.”

2. Implement the STOP Technique

In her book Cognitive Enlightenment, Melinda Fouts, Ph.D., outlines a technique to overcome imposter syndrome using what she calls the STOP technique.

“STOP is an acronym for ‘silence the oppressive player,” Fouts explains in Forbes.[4] “You need to eradicate this tape that is playing 24/7, whether you are conscious of it or not. It plays loudest when we are tired, hungry, or feeling defeated.”

Steps to implementing the STOP technique and rewiring your brain are as follows:

To replace the tape of not good enough, you need a “launch sentence.” “I’m more than good enough” would is an example of a solid launch statement.

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Put your launch sentence in prominent locations, such as your car’s dashboard or computer. How come? The reason is that as the tape plays, you won’t be able to remember your launch statement.

Continue to say “stop” until you recall your launch sentence, says Fouts.

Put your launch sentence into your own words and pontificate.

While going about your daily tasks, like while driving or exercising, practice your launch sentence so you can recall it when you need it in the future.

“I am told this sounds simple and it does,” she adds. However, this technique is challenging when your negative tape is playing. You will not want to replace the tape every day while your brain is rewiring itself. “It is these moments you can’t give up.”

3. Distinguish Humility and Fear

When it comes to hard work and accomplishments, there’s humility, and then there’s fear. In other words, having a high level of competence can lead one to discount its value occasionally. However, as Carl Richards wrote in an article for the New York Times,[5] “After spending a lot of time fine-tuning our ability, isn’t it sort of the point for our skill to look and feel natural?”

The problem is that we feel unworthy from time to time. But, as Seth Godin explained in a blog post,[6] “When you feel unworthy, any kind response, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, the luck of the draw.”

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Feeling worthy without feeling entitled is possible. And, finding the right balance between them is critical for overcoming impostor syndrome. “Humility and worthiness have nothing at all to do with defending our territory,” Godin continues. “We don’t have to feel like a fraud to also be gracious, open, or humble.”

4. Keep a “Brag Sheet”

When you were sending out college applications, did you build yourself a “brag sheet?” If not, here’s a clean description from Shawna Newman,[7] “A brag sheet is very similar to a student resume – it highlights your accomplishments, key experiences, leadership skills, and employment throughout your secondary education.” In short, “it’s a quick reference guide with all the details and achievements for someone trying to get to know you better.”

While it may be awkward at first, you can apply the same concept when coping with imposter syndrome. Just compose a list of your accomplishments, activities, skills. That’s it. Just remember Godin’s advice and also be humble and gracious.

As an added perk, besides being an effective way to talk myself up, I’ve also found that this has helped me stop comparing myself to others. Instead of harping about other people’s milestones, I’m honing in on what I’ve done.

5. Celebrate Wins, Period

Speaking of accomplishments, they shouldn’t be categorized as small or big. After all, you feel as if you don’t belong when you have imposter syndrome. So, the more you celebrate your wins, the more confident you’ll become.

Furthermore, accept compliments without qualifying them and practice listening to praise every day. Finally, become kinder to yourself by saying at least one kind thing to yourself daily. And, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.

6. Assemble a Legion of Superheroes

“You know how corporations have a board of directors to — in theory — make them stronger, maintain checks and balances, leverage resources, and help advance the organization’s vision?” asks inspirational speaker, speaking coach, and creative consultant Tania Katan.[8] “Why not assemble your own board of directors to leverage resources to help make your career stronger, keep you in check and balanced, and advance your vision?”

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“My friend Alison Wade, president of conferences, training, and consulting at Techwell, calls her personal board of directors her “front-row” — those are the people she invites to sit spitting distance from the stage, cheer her on, challenge her, and review her performance,” Katan writes.

As for Katan, she calls hers a “legion of superheroes.” The reason? “I dig the idea of joining forces to do good in the corporate galaxy.”

It’s important to have a diverse group of individuals who will defend you. Ideally, they should be varied in all dimensions, such as cultural background, way of thinking, and skills.

Katan recommends that you meet together frequently, whether if that’s once a week or every quarter. “Share your experiences, fears, creative ideas, aspirations,” she adds. “Celebrate each other’s accomplishments.” You also need to both support and challenge each other. “Discover what you are capable of doing when you combine your powers.”

7. Visualize Success

Follow the example of a professional athlete by imagining yourself crushing that presentation or project. You’ll enjoy the relief from performance-related stress. And, more importantly, it can help you avoid focusing on the worst-case scenario.

Final Words of Advice

While there’s no single formula to cure imposter syndrome, the tips listed above are a start. After all, your success depends on your ability to fight the negative effects of it. For example, feeling unworthy over time can lead to crippling anxiety and depression if left untreated.

If you’ve tried the above, then make sure that you speak to someone about what you’re experiencing, whether it’s a mentor, peer group, or licensed professional. And, above all else, there’s a place at the table for everyone — no matter what your inner voice is telling you.

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How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome was originally published on Calendar by John Rampton.

Featured photo credit: Laurenz Kleinheider via unsplash.com

Reference

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