Last Updated on January 15, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Build Confidence and Believe in Yourself

10 Proven Ways to Build Confidence and Believe in Yourself

Some people seem to be born with a rather plentiful portion of confidence. They appear to bounce along with a robustness that breeds envy and pop back up after they get knocked down. The good news is that you too can build confidence. It doesn’t matter if you lack it; it is still yours to experience now as you continue to work on growing it over time.

Learning how to build confidence is part of the process of evolving into ourselves. Here is how you can build your confidence.

1. Connect With Yourself

Confidence and connection go together since we are most confident when we are real. We aren’t trying to be someone else, please others, or living a life dictated by “should.”

We build and emit confidence when we are true to ourselves. To be true, get clear on your purpose and your values. Trying to embody the purpose and values of others will leave you feeling cheap and fake.

Ask yourself, what are the things that you know you really need and want.

Ask yourself what you want your legacy to be and what you want to be remembered for—by people you know and people you interact with only briefly.

Authenticity is also incredibly appealing to others. When you begin receiving positive feedback from others who appreciate the authentic you, a positive cycle will begin where your confidence improves how others perceive you and others’ perception increases your confidence.

2. Open up

Open up to the world and get curious about what’s happening around you. When we get curious, we become lifelong learners, which helps to quiet our inner critic.

With the learner present, we are not operating out of anxiety, fear, or worry. We are less likely to shut down our ideas, dreams, or plans.

Building confidence depends on openness. When we believe that options exist, and that gifts are to be found in challenges, we finds way to thrive.


We feel relaxed knowing we are living in the land of possibility. There is hope—a promise of what is to come. We are energized by what can be as we build confidence through growth and knowledge.

3. Notice How You Show up

Building confidence requires being yourself without apology.

Full permission to be you is about stepping into your greatness. It’s about being responsible for your impact, but not holding back. It’s saying to yourself that you matter and adding in self-care as part of your daily life.

Knowing that you matter builds confidence. The question then becomes how can you lean into that truth.

The best way to remember that you matter and ignite your sparks is to develop a daily grounding practice.

When we invite awe, wonder, and gratitude into our lives, we tap into that special knowing that lives inside us. Our sage selves become connected to the rest of us, and the rest of us becomes connected to something larger.

Another way to know we matter is to surround ourselves with people who truly care about us.

These people are a constant source of support and help you feel like the best version of yourself.

Do your best to cultivate these kinds of healthy relationships with friends and family members They are key to building your confidence.

4. Forget About Your Screw-ups

We all make mistakes, and the key when you want to build confidence is to learn from them instead of letting them make you question your self-worth.


Repair anything that needs fixing, apologize for anything that asks for a sincere “I’m sorry,” be part of the solution, and then let the screw-ups go.

Going over your mistakes is a great way to see where you get stuck, but going over them again and again doesn’t help you or anyone else. That kind of self-flagellation only harms your spirit.

The repeated critical review of yourself only makes for a less-than-ideal version of you. To build confidence you want to be your own kind, thoughtful teacher.

Adopt the personality of a wise old sage, who sees you as a beautiful, messy human. That sage would speak gently to you, not over-stating the lesson, and lead you to new insights with a sweet affirmation that you are whole and wonderful and capable.

The cool thing is this sage lives in you. Sit with it when your screw-up and see what it has to say that will help you build confidence.

Check out this article to find some ways you can learn from your mistakes in life.

5. Immerse Yourself in Creativity

When we create, we bypass the stuff that is going around in our heads that has us questioning ourselves—the thoughts that make us self-conscious, stall, and paralyze.

You might think you aren’t creative, but the more realistic truth is that you haven’t tapped into your creativity in a long time, so it feels lost[1]. It doesn’t matter if you are not an artist. We are creative with our thoughts, how we tell a story or a joke, arrange flowers in a vase, solve a problem, or help a friend.

To build confidence we want to be in our bodies as well as our minds, to be alive in spirit, not only analyzing up in that noggin of ours. Confidence asks us to be all in, and creativity helps get us there.

6. Dance Through Your Days

By approaching your days with the attitude that there are gems to be found, you are confirming that you are not managing your circumstances but leading yourself through your days, and that your life is important.


Think about when are preparing to take action. Are you reacting or creating? Is there a chance to bring in humor? What are you saying yes to?

Approaching things with the understanding that you have choices and can set yourself up for success even if the choices are limited lets you feel confident.

Ask yourself what you need to be successful, and make a list. It can have things like support, quiet time, a break, music, a deadline, a conversation.

Customize the list, and don’t assume that one list will serve all days or all hurdles.

You move from feeling like a victim to being the captain of your ship when you decide to dance through your days and not push through them. Building confidence counts on this perspective.

To help with perspective shifts take a bird’s eye view of what you feel you have no control over. Soak in that view and ask that bird what it sees.

You will see new ways of handling things. With wings out and the vantage point from 5,000 feet up, your confidence will soar because of the space, wisdom, and compassion you placed between yourself and your circumstance.

7. Embrace Failure

When we shy away from failure, we are attempting to prevent it. We go into protective mode.

The energy, thoughts, and actions that ensue from seeking to protect ourselves from failure undermines our confidence. We become wobbly and vigilant. Vigilance involves tightness—a contraction. In order to build confidence, we need to expand.

The only way we can do that is to take risks. We are designed for growth, so the more we move into finding, living, and creating from ourselves, the more we build our confidence.


Without risk, we stagnate. We repeat the status quo over and over again, not evolving.

Risk is a great teacher and forger. It’s a co-creator in forming our identity, as well as realizing our dreams. As a result, risk can build confidence.

The more we take risks, we develop resilience to when the risk doesn’t pan out. In trying to avoid failure we stay small[2].

Smallness is not what is going to get us where we want to go, nor is it going to build confidence.

8. Never Speak Against Yourself

You should always do your best to offer constructive feedback to yourself regarding your actions, but there is no need for judgment or harshness. Confidence is built with love; not false praise, but honest kindness that affirms and boosts.

Don’t be shy about celebrating your victories no matter how tiny. Confidence is built by letting your body and mind soak in what is going well—what you did that was awesome, what is special about you, etc.

9. Choose a Goal

When you choose goals that you want to work towards, you instill a sense of motivation that will push you toward the things you want to achieve. As you achieve big and small goals, you build confidence in your abilities to get to where you want to go.

Start with short-term goals and then create long-term goals. When you see a brighter future for yourself through what you are accomplishing, your confidence will soar.

10. Enjoy the Process!

Don’t take yourself too seriously. If you laugh and play while building your confidence, you will not only be more confident, but you will increase your joy.

Final Thoughts

Did you notice that these steps spell out confidence? If you’re feeling creative and motivated, try making your own acronym list with things you believe will help you build confidence in your daily life.


Each day, cultivate positive self-talk and be your own cheerleader as you work on becoming the best version of yourself. Everyone has to start somewhere, so choose one of the tips above and begin your own confidence journey.

More Tips on Building Confidence

Featured photo credit: Michael Kucharski via


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Adele Dujardin

Adele is an author, speaker, and coach who empowers others to lead from their creative wise selves, and have fun doing it.

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd

17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd

If you are like most people, you probably have big goals and dreams that you would like to succeed in — you want to be the top in your career, live a healthy lifestyle, or flourish in your relationships.

Everyone dreams of a positive future, but most people don’t realize the secret to a truly successful life:

You determine your future in the way you spend your everyday moments. If you want to be a successful person, you must consistently develop good daily habits. As Aristotle pointed out:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”.

Building positive daily habits is a huge challenge, but can you imagine the amazing things you could accomplish with just a little commitment and determination?

Creating lasting, healthy habits is the real key difference between people who are successful in life and those who are unsuccessful.

You might be wondering which specific habits make the biggest difference. Not to worry, I’ve compiled a comparison list to help you get a jump start on a successful future.

1. Successful people embrace change. Unsuccessful people fear change.

Change is a constant for all of humanity, and it is important that you develop a positive relationship with it.

When unexpected or unwelcome changes arise, ask yourself how you can embrace it instead of running away. A few practical ways to reverse a change-fearing mindset include:

  • Take a moment to recognize and address any fears associated with the upcoming change.
  • Communicate with a person you trust about your negative feelings toward change.
  • Practice positive thinking, which you can read about in the next section.

2. Successful people exude joy. Unsuccessful people think, say and do negative things.

A joyful, positive disposition can seem like a distant reality in today’s cynical world, but it may be easier to achieve than you think. All you have to do is notice the good things around you and practice being thankful.


Mindfulness and gratitude are not just buzz words – choosing a positive attitude can honestly change your life. Many studies have found that thankfulness leads to greater happiness. Furthermore, research indicates that gratitude may even have a lasting positive impact on the brain and overall mental health.[1]

3. Successful people forgive others. Unsuccessful people hold grudges.

As a human being, you have likely been offended or hurt by others plenty of times. Don’t give in to the temptation to hold a grudge. Let it go.

Note that forgiving someone does not equate to giving up your boundaries (which are very important) or even admitting that the offending party is right. You should choose to let go for your own peace of mind.

4. Successful people track progress. Unsuccessful people just criticize.

Some kinds of criticism, such as constructive criticism, are good for personal and professional development. The kind of criticism I’m talking about is the pessimistic, nagging, unhelpful variety. This is the kind of criticism in play when you are unfairly harsh to yourself or others.

Toss unfounded criticisms aside and consider tracking your “wins” or your progresses, no matter how small. Take mental notes or keep a progress journal.

If you have a solid sense of what you have achieved, you will be less tempted to be hard on yourself.

5. Successful people share information, data and ideas. Unsuccessful people hoard.

If you have useful information or generate brilliant ideas on the regular, your first instinct may be to keep it all to yourself for personal gain and solo recognition.

Instead of hoarding bright ideas, share them with your team. Your talents will be on display for the team, and the team will be able to support you and make your ideas a reality.

6. Successful people are humble. Unsuccessful people talk more than they listen.

Humility is key. The ability to listen to other people, really listen and understand, is essential to success in both work and relationships — and to listen you have to be humble.

Everyone has experienced the frustration of being in a one-sided conversation. When someone approaches you with a question or concern, put your own world aside for just a moment and give them the kindness of your full attention.


7. Successful people take risks. Unsuccessful people take the easy way out.

The next time your heart is racing and you want to walk away, consider embracing the risk. You never know what might happen if you take a chance.

Embracing risks looks like accepting the speaking engagement even though it seems a little scary. Success takes the courageous route, not the easy route.

8. Successful people learn, improve and read every day. Unsuccessful people stop learning.

Instead of binge-watching a show tonight, save an hour before bed to read a book and expand your mind.

Unsuccessful people are afraid to be flexible – they don’t challenge themselves to learn new things. Avoid this pitfall by exposing yourself to new thoughts and ideas every day.

9. Successful people handle problems well. Unsuccessful people act before they think.

The next time you run into a problem or even an emergency, try to work through your initial panic reaction with a few deep breaths.

Instead of acting rashly, think through your next actions as quickly but as logically as you can.

Learning to handle problems thoughtfully is an absolutely essential tool in the successful person’s toolbox (that’s you!).

10. Successful people accept responsibility for their failures. Unsuccessful people blame others.

Along with a previous tip about humility, this is one of the hardest things you’ll ever learn to do – but also the most rewarding. When you’ve failed, you must fight the urge to pass the blame. Successful people are able to fail honestly and gracefully.

And, hey, don’t feel bad about failing. Some of the most successful people in the world have failed too many times to count. It’s all a part of the process.

You can check out this article for more tips on how to fail well:


How Failure Helps You To Succeed and Grow

11. Successful people work with passion and commitment. Unsuccessful people have a sense of entitlement.

A short and sweet lesson for you:

You should never expect to achieve the things you want without working hard.

Follow your passion and stay committed to pursuing it. Work hard and stick to your habits every day. You’ll earn your reward.

12. Successful people spend time with the right people. Unsuccessful people think they already know it all.

A lot of people miss out on useful relationships and information sharing because they think they can do it all alone.

Spend time with people who inspire you, spur you to be a better person, and remind you that you can’t go it alone.

13. Successful people make to-do lists and maintain proper life balance. Unsuccessful people waste their time.

Ah, time management. Unsuccessful people never master the art of organization and planning.

Here are a few tips for you when it comes to time management:

  • Make to-do lists. Seriously, this will help you. Make time to do it every morning, evening, or whenever you are able.
  • Keep track of your time. Are you happy with the way you are currently balancing things? What changes can you make?
  • Keep a calendar full of your long-term goals (see next tip).

14. Successful people write down goals and think long term about their burning desires. Unsuccessful people get distracted every day.

Why is it so important to keep a long-term goal calendar? Here’s the deal:

The things you are passionate about today need a backbone.


Give your passionate ideas sustainability by writing down goals and staying on task instead of succumbing to distraction.

15. Successful people compliment others. Unsuccessful people try to bring others down to their level.

There is no greater confidence than saying “no” to sudden jealous or envious feelings and choosing to sincerely admire someone’s talents instead.

Unsuccessful people live in a world driven by competition, but successful people know that building people up is far more rewarding than bringing them down.

16. Successful people want others to succeed. Unsuccessful people secretly hope they fail.

In the same vein as the point above, this tip is all about good intentions.

Care for the people around you. Encourage them toward their successes. Hoping that others fail will not help you at all.

17. Successful people know their purpose and mission. Unsuccessful people don’t know what they want to be.

The last thing that differentiates successful people from unsuccessful people is one of the most important:

Keep your mission in mind.

Don’t be swayed to and fro by passing emotions and events. Know who you are and pursue your dreams wholeheartedly.

Final thoughts

Above all, stay confident. Truly believe that you can be and are successful. Strive to prove it in your day-to-day habits and activities!

What are you waiting for? Choose one of the habits above and get started today.


Featured photo credit: Unsplash via


[1] Berkeley University of California: How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain

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