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Last Updated on November 27, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Be More Confident

10 Powerful Ways to Be More Confident

Confidence — it’s a powerful word and an even more powerful feeling. Can you remember a time in your life when you felt confident? A time when you felt unstoppable… on top of the world? Now imagine you could feel that way more often. What impact would that have on your health and well-being, your career, your relationships?

Not only does being confident feel good, it helps you seize potential opportunities, take more chances and make that big change or take the next step in your life and career. Life is crazy, busy and beautiful. Figuring out how to be more confident is just part of the journey.

So how to be more confident?

Lack of confidence can stem from many places.

Perhaps, growing up, your parents said a certain career was outside your reach and you could ‘never do that’. Or maybe you have a belief system that says ‘I could never start my own business, I’m not entrepreneurial’.

Perhaps you had a bad experience which opened the door for self-doubt to creep in. Or maybe your inner self-critic is telling you ‘you can’t’ or ‘you’re not good enough’. Maybe (ok, likely) you’re comparing yourself to someone else – a friend, colleague or spouse.

Or perhaps you feel there is something missing in your life – a relationship, the dream job, kids, a degree or title.

In my work with thousands of clients, it seems most (if not all) of us struggle with confidence in some area, or at some point in our lives. Whether that be confidence in our appearance, abilities, relationships, careers, decision making, and social situations.

We all have crises of confidence. Times we are self-conscious and moments of self-doubt. And, if your lack of confidence is keeping you in a bad job or poor relationship — or keeping you from moving forward in your life or career, you’re not alone.

Confident People vs Doubtful People

Confident people believe in themselves and have a positive mindset. People lack confidence feel insecure about themselves and their decisions.

Let’s take a look at this infographic which illustrates the differences between a confident person and an insecure person:

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    So, how can you be more confident? Here’s your complete, step-by-step guide:

    1. Be Specific – What Are You Not Confident in?

    First things first, let’s get specific.

    In order to tame the demon, you’ve got to name the demon. Where do you lack confidence? When do you feel self-doubt and your negative emotions creeping in? Where do you feel your skills or abilities are limiting you? Where would you like to have more confidence?

    Once you get specific, it won’t feel so overwhelming as you’ll have something tangible to tackle.

    Maybe you want the confidence to go out on your own and start a new business? Or maybe you’d like to go back to school to get the degree you’ve always wanted? Perhaps you’d like the confidence to go on an adventure or take a trip you’ve been thinking about for some time.

    How?

    Take a moment now, identify and put into a complete statement: Where do you specifically want to have more confidence?

    2. Uncover What Gives You Confidence

    This is personal, so it will vary from person to person. There’s no one size fits all approach to confidence and what works for one, won’t always work for another.

    How can you figure out what gives you confidence? Think about a couple times in your life when you felt most confident.

    How?

    Now, think about what was it about those times that made you feel so empowered.

    Was it the environment you were in? Something you were doing? A feeling you had? The more you get clear about this for yourself, the easier it will be to tap into when you need it.

    3. Be True to You

    One of the surest ways to lose confidence is try to be someone else. One of the best ways to build your confidence? Be true to yourself.

    When you’re trying to be someone you’re not, every part of you resists it. You are not everyone else. You are you. And the more you can understand who you are and what you value the stronger you will be.

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    When you stray away from who you are, you lose confidence because it’s ‘just not you’.

    How?

    Think about what makes you, uniquely you. Write it down. Think about what you value and what’s important to you. Write that down, too.

    4. Remember You Are 100% Smart

    When one of my daughters was in the 4th grade, her teacher gave an assignment called 100% smart. In this activity, the kids had to make a pie chart and identify what percentage smart they were in each of the following areas; people, self, body, math, word, music, art.

    For example, my daughter was 25% body smart, but only 5% art smart. This was such an insightful exercise for her and something I have shared with many clients over the years. She realized that even though she lacked confidence in art, there were so many other areas where she excelled.

    This is true for everyone. So, maybe you’re not the best public speaker, but are you a great parent, smart with your money, or creative?

    Too many people spend way too much time trying to improve, change, be more of this or less of that. Instead, what if you spent more time acknowledging your talents, skills and successes?

    How?

    Try this for one week: at the end of each day, write down at least 3 things that you did well, felt good about, or were proud of yourself for. Know your strengths, know your talents and know you’re 100% smart.

    5. Stop Comparing Yourself

    Nothing zaps your confidence more than comparing yourself to others. Especially now, with social media and the wonderful opportunity to judge yourself against so many others! Lack of confidence comes from a gap in where you see yourself and where you think you should be.

    Imagine you are preparing to give a big presentation or speech. So you do your research, which includes watching some of the best speakers in the world doing their Ted Talks. Of course you are going to feel inferior.

    How?

    Stop comparing yourself to others. Just stop. If you still feel a compelling need to compare – compare yourself to yourself. Measure how far you’ve come. See how much improvement you’ve made. Acknowledge your wins and successes.

    6. Realize You Are Enough

    This may sound a little bit corny, but try it. This positive affirmation will resonate at a deep level and have a powerful effect on your subconscious.

    How?

    Every day for the next 21 days repeat this mantra “I am enough.” Don’t just say it, but feel it, deeply, at the core of who you are.

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    Want to get more specific? Replace ‘enough’ with whatever word you’d like to ‘be’. What would give you the most confidence?

    I am brave. I am strong. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am confident. I got this.

    7. Acquire New Skills

    Since confidence is often directly linked to abilities, one of the best ways to build your confidence is to get new skills or experience and step out of your comfort zone.

    Growing your skills will in turn grow your confidence. And please, as you work on building your skills and expertise, don’t mistake a lack of perfection for a lack of ability. No one is perfect. But if you’ve got a perfectionist bone in your body (like I do), it can make you think that just because you’re not the best, that you’re not good at all.

    Make sure to check yourself – am I really not good at this, or am I not good as I want to be just yet?

    How?

    Ask yourself: Is there a specific area where you are lacking confidence? How can you expand your expertise in this area?

    8. Change Your State

    Changing your physical and mental ‘state’ is one of the quickest ways to access a feeling of confidence. To do this, you need to know what the state of ‘confidence’ looks, feels and sounds like for you.

    How?

    Here are a few strategies you can use to access that:

    • Remember – Think of a specific time, associated with feeling confident. Sink into that feeling deeply and moment by moment relive every detail.
    • Imagine – Imagine how you would feel if you were confident. How would you act? Feel? Be?
    • Modelling – Think about someone you know who exudes confidence. Imagine what that person would do.

    9. Find Yourself a Cheerleader

    Yes, while I understand confidence is a state from within, you can also boost your confidence by the people you choose to spend your time with.

    How?

    Make a concerted effort to surround yourself with others who provide encouragement, positivity, and inspiration.

    Spend more time with people who ‘get you’ and see all of your greatness – and less time with those that zap your confidence or cause you to feel self-doubt.

    10. Just Do It

    When Nike came up with this slogan in the late 80’s, they knew just how to get the general population off their butts and moving. Turns out, this is a great strategy for being more confident too.

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    When you stand at the edge of the water; waiting, wondering, worrying if you can do something, you lose confidence. Your fears creep in and you begin to doubt yourself. But when you take a leap of faith, jump in and get started, your confidence immediately builds.

    Action builds confidence and each step you take builds it further.

    How?

    Think of one step you could take right now that would get you moving in the right direction. Then Just Do It and see what happens. An incredible thing about human brain is that once it realizes something is working, it will keep that momentum going!

      Final Thoughts

      Being more confident starts with one thing — YOU.

      YOU making the decision to take action. And when all else fails, YOU can make a choice.

      YOU can choose to be confident. YOU can choose confidence over fear and self-doubt.

      Your mind believes what you tell it. If you continue to tell yourself the story that you are not confident, you will believe it and your self-doubt will continue. But if you tell yourself you can do it, that you got this, your mind will believe that too.

      Remember, fostering a strong sense of confidence is critical to experiencing overall levels of health, happiness and success.

      And once you get started you’ll be unstoppable. Be brave. Be confident. You got this.

      More Tips About Building Confidence

      Featured photo credit: Church of the King via unsplash.com

      More by this author

      Tracy Kennedy

      Lifehack's Personal Development Expert, a results-driven coach dedicated to helping people achieve greater levels of happiness and success.

      10 Powerful Ways to Be More Confident Effective Decision Making Process: How to Make Wise Decisions how to stop being a perfectionist How to Stop Being a Perfectionist (Step-by-Step Guide) off track Feeling off Track in Life? Here’s How to Stay True to Yourself Take Back Control of your Life with Positive Emotions

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      Last Updated on November 27, 2020

      How to Push Yourself to the Next Level and Achieve Success

      How to Push Yourself to the Next Level and Achieve Success

      Limits are stumbling blocks between you and your success. You will face stiff resistance when attempting to break through the limit. Resistance could be self-inflicted fear, doubt, low self-esteem, physical disabilities, and mental block. These elements could package themselves as huge barriers.

      Sadly enough, most people find it hard to push themselves beyond these limits. They eventually give up and accept the status quo.

      As long as you desire a life of success, you must face your fear and push yourself beyond the limits. Failure to do this will truncate your dream and make your goals unrealizable.

      The 3 Phases of Life

      There are three phases of life that we all constantly cycle between – the pushing phase, the overdoing phase, and the relaxation phase.

      Pushing yourself or taking it slow may depend on which of the phases you find yourself in. Let’s examine the phases in detail.

      The Pushing Phase

      You feel excited about your life, environment, and things in general. You are stepping out of your comfort zone, which many people find hard to do. And this action is also paying off as you are growing.

      In this phase, your momentum is high and you may experience exhaustion after using your energy on tasking activities.

      The Overdoing Phase

      At this stage, you are taking more tasks than you can handle. You are saying ‘yes’ to every task dole at you. You can’t say ‘no’. You might even be tense because you feel you miss deadlines on the project.

      This is the phase that precedes burnout. Life becomes overwhelming, so this stage requires adequate management, which I will share in the next phase.

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      The Resting Phase

      It’s time to reflect and regain your balance. If you have been overdoing it while pushing yourself, it is time to rest.

      Here is when you ask salient questions such as:

      • Am I satisfied with this job?
      • Am I working in line with my core values?
      • Am I happy in my relationship?’

      So, what’s the right phase to be in? The truth is there is none.

      However, the pushing phase is the ideal place. Life is challenging enough to stay disengaged. It takes pushing yourself to make the best out of the situation you go through in life.

      Why Should You Push Yourself?

      Knowing all these, you might ask why should you push yourself? Here are 8 reasons to do so.

      1. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

      Life is boring in a comfort zone. Some people believe you can succeed better in your comfort zone than exploring new frontiers. While that may be true, yet nothing significant can happen until you dare.

      You need to do different things and do things differently. You need to see the world and life from another perspective. You need a different result. You can achieve all these by doing the same thing over and again.

      Life only rewards those who dare and not those who wish.

      2. Tap Your Inner Strength

      If you have never come across a lion in the jungle, you might never get the chance to tap your running potential. Don’t wait until something pushes you; push yourself.

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      You have untapped strength to overcome any obstacles than you can ever imagine. Use that strength and refuse to live a life of mediocrity and complacency.

      3. Learn New Things

      Until you push yourself, you cannot explore. And it takes exploration to learn new things. Start a new business and open yourself to new opportunities. Whatever you do, ensure you are learning, growing, and pushing yourself.

      4. Stay in Shape

      Pushing yourself also impacts your body. You become fit when you refuse to stay at rest.

      For instance, you can use the step instead of the elevator. Get your body in motion and stay fit, especially in this lockdown. Studies have revealed that you burn calories as much as 6 to 15% more when you engage in high-intensity exercises.[1]

      5. Achieve More!

      Past glories produce future rewards. Push yourself to generate more results than you did yesterday. Find out what you can do more, even if it is only 5 minutes more. Anytime you make extra effort to add value to your life or that of others, you learn and grow beyond your limits and strength.

      6. Discover Your Identity

      You don’t know your worth and capabilities until you stretch. Listen up! The only competitor you have is YOU! it is while you exert yourself that you get to realize your beliefs, limits, and strengths. Pushing yourself will help you know your true identity.

      7. Build Momentum

      Death occurs in a state of rest. Would you rather be stagnant water or a flowing river? You need a sustained momentum to achieve your goals in all aspects of your life. You can build momentum by going the extra mile in achieving your goals.

      8. Define Your Limits

      How do you even know your limits if you don’t push yourself? The next time you push yourself, you will realize you can break through those limits.

      How Do You Push Yourself Beyond Limits and Achieve Success?

      It is easier to stay in a more comfortable zone than to dare or explore new frontiers. Meanwhile, not pushing yourself will deny you personal growth, professional or business opportunities, as well as life experiences.

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      So, here are tips to get you out of your cocoon. Don’t forget to start with the hardest part.

      1. Take That First step

      What you need to get started is that first step. It may not be easy at first. Nothing comes easy as well. The first day at work is boring, the same as going to the gym. But when you continually build your stamina, your motion will become easier. Take the first step to achieve your dream!

      2. Inspire Yourself

      Don’t wait for extrinsic motivation to make the first move. Discover your inner motivation! It could be a motivational video, TED Talks, Lifehack articles, riverside, or a walk in the park. Ensure it is something that drives you to take action. Inspiration is a motivational tool to help you push yourself.

      3. Create Your Environment

      You need the right environment to succeed and make good choices. It is better to read at your desk than to read on your bed. If you want to stay healthier and fit, put healthier foods and water closer to you. Avoid junk and exercise your muscles daily.

      Also, avoid toxic relationships. Stay around people who will constantly remind you of your goals and aspirations.

      4. Avoid the Safe Choice

      You can group your choices into two – the safer ones and the daring ones. Go for the ones that will enable you to dare the impossible and teach your invaluable lessons. You cannot grow by succumbing to safer choices. Get out of your comfort zone and explore new frontiers.

      5. Visualize the Next Level

      What would it look like to be happily married, successful in your business and career, and touching lives? Visualize those dreams!

      Visualization will enable you to focus more on your goals and achieve success. It will help you know where you want to be and what you need to do to get there.

      6. Learn From Other Victors

      Whatever level of success you want to achieve, someone has had it already. Learn from them and pick cues and lessons on how they overcame the barriers. Read their books, online journals, interviews, and podcasts.

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      7. Do What Scares You

      Ask yourself when you are taking on new projects: Does this task scares me? If yes, then do it! That’s how you face your fear and win. See every difficult task as a frog, then eat the frog!

      8. Work on Your Weaknesses

      There are self-imposed limits, and most of them are products of our weaknesses. It could be bad habits, poor self-esteem, or physical limitation. Weaknesses make a big mountain look unsurmountable, and they can limit you in achieving the success you desired. You can turn your weaknesses into strengths.

      9. Seek for Help

      A little bit of assistance can be so significant in facing resistance. Having someone to support you can counterbalance the impact of any negative thought pattern that may limit you. It could be a life coach, mentor, spouse, friend, parent, or an accountability partner. They can assist you to make the push you need to get out of your comfort zone.

      Final Thoughts

      You have to push yourself past limits to reach your goals. There is no alternative to greatness than sacrificing your comfort and zone and accomplishing great things.

      Life does not reward complacency or mediocrity. But by pushing yourself, you can break through barriers and trek the paths that men have not trodden. And interestingly, once you break through the limits, you will be amazed why you never thought the challenges are surmountable.

      Accept your limits so you can grow beyond them!

      More Tips on Pushing Yourself to Achieve Success

      Featured photo credit: David Izquierdo via unsplash.com

      Reference

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