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Last Updated on March 2, 2021

10 Powerful Ways to Be More Confident

10 Powerful Ways to Be More Confident
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Confidence — it’s a powerful word and an even more powerful feeling. Can you remember a time in your life when you felt confident? A time when you felt unstoppable… on top of the world? Now imagine you could feel that way more often. What impact would that have on your health and well-being, your career, your relationships?

Not only does being confident feel good, it helps you seize potential opportunities, take more chances and make that big change or take the next step in your life and career. Life is crazy, busy and beautiful. Figuring out how to be more confident is just part of the journey.

So how to be more confident?

Lack of confidence can stem from many places.

Perhaps, growing up, your parents said a certain career was outside your reach and you could ‘never do that’. Or maybe you have a belief system that says ‘I could never start my own business, I’m not entrepreneurial’.

Perhaps you had a bad experience which opened the door for self-doubt to creep in. Or maybe your inner self-critic is telling you ‘you can’t’ or ‘you’re not good enough’. Maybe (ok, likely) you’re comparing yourself to someone else – a friend, colleague or spouse.

Or perhaps you feel there is something missing in your life – a relationship, the dream job, kids, a degree or title.

In my work with thousands of clients, it seems most (if not all) of us struggle with confidence in some area, or at some point in our lives. Whether that be confidence in our appearance, abilities, relationships, careers, decision making, and social situations.

We all have crises of confidence. Times we are self-conscious and moments of self-doubt. And, if your lack of confidence is keeping you in a bad job or poor relationship — or keeping you from moving forward in your life or career, you’re not alone.

Confident People vs Doubtful People

Confident people believe in themselves and have a positive mindset. People lack confidence feel insecure about themselves and their decisions.

Let’s take a look at this infographic which illustrates the differences between a confident person and an insecure person:

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    So, how can you be more confident? Here’s your complete, step-by-step guide:

    1. Be Specific – What Are You Not Confident in?

    First things first, let’s get specific.

    In order to tame the demon, you’ve got to name the demon. Where do you lack confidence? When do you feel self-doubt and your negative emotions creeping in? Where do you feel your skills or abilities are limiting you? Where would you like to have more confidence?

    Once you get specific, it won’t feel so overwhelming as you’ll have something tangible to tackle.

    Maybe you want the confidence to go out on your own and start a new business? Or maybe you’d like to go back to school to get the degree you’ve always wanted? Perhaps you’d like the confidence to go on an adventure or take a trip you’ve been thinking about for some time.

    How?

    Take a moment now, identify and put into a complete statement: Where do you specifically want to have more confidence?

    2. Uncover What Gives You Confidence

    This is personal, so it will vary from person to person. There’s no one size fits all approach to confidence and what works for one, won’t always work for another.

    How can you figure out what gives you confidence? Think about a couple times in your life when you felt most confident.

    How?

    Now, think about what was it about those times that made you feel so empowered.

    Was it the environment you were in? Something you were doing? A feeling you had? The more you get clear about this for yourself, the easier it will be to tap into when you need it.

    3. Be True to You

    One of the surest ways to lose confidence is try to be someone else. One of the best ways to build your confidence? Be true to yourself.

    When you’re trying to be someone you’re not, every part of you resists it. You are not everyone else. You are you. And the more you can understand who you are and what you value the stronger you will be.

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    When you stray away from who you are, you lose confidence because it’s ‘just not you’.

    How?

    Think about what makes you, uniquely you. Write it down. Think about what you value and what’s important to you. Write that down, too.

    4. Remember You Are 100% Smart

    When one of my daughters was in the 4th grade, her teacher gave an assignment called 100% smart. In this activity, the kids had to make a pie chart and identify what percentage smart they were in each of the following areas; people, self, body, math, word, music, art.

    For example, my daughter was 25% body smart, but only 5% art smart. This was such an insightful exercise for her and something I have shared with many clients over the years. She realized that even though she lacked confidence in art, there were so many other areas where she excelled.

    This is true for everyone. So, maybe you’re not the best public speaker, but are you a great parent, smart with your money, or creative?

    Too many people spend way too much time trying to improve, change, be more of this or less of that. Instead, what if you spent more time acknowledging your talents, skills and successes?

    How?

    Try this for one week: at the end of each day, write down at least 3 things that you did well, felt good about, or were proud of yourself for. Know your strengths, know your talents and know you’re 100% smart.

    5. Stop Comparing Yourself

    Nothing zaps your confidence more than comparing yourself to others. Especially now, with social media and the wonderful opportunity to judge yourself against so many others! Lack of confidence comes from a gap in where you see yourself and where you think you should be.

    Imagine you are preparing to give a big presentation or speech. So you do your research, which includes watching some of the best speakers in the world doing their Ted Talks. Of course you are going to feel inferior.

    How?

    Stop comparing yourself to others. Just stop. If you still feel a compelling need to compare – compare yourself to yourself. Measure how far you’ve come. See how much improvement you’ve made. Acknowledge your wins and successes.

    6. Realize You Are Enough

    This may sound a little bit corny, but try it. This positive affirmation will resonate at a deep level and have a powerful effect on your subconscious.

    How?

    Every day for the next 21 days repeat this mantra “I am enough.” Don’t just say it, but feel it, deeply, at the core of who you are.

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    Want to get more specific? Replace ‘enough’ with whatever word you’d like to ‘be’. What would give you the most confidence?

    I am brave. I am strong. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am confident. I got this.

    7. Acquire New Skills

    Since confidence is often directly linked to abilities, one of the best ways to build your confidence is to get new skills or experience and step out of your comfort zone.

    Growing your skills will in turn grow your confidence. And please, as you work on building your skills and expertise, don’t mistake a lack of perfection for a lack of ability. No one is perfect. But if you’ve got a perfectionist bone in your body (like I do), it can make you think that just because you’re not the best, that you’re not good at all.

    Make sure to check yourself – am I really not good at this, or am I not good as I want to be just yet?

    How?

    Ask yourself: Is there a specific area where you are lacking confidence? How can you expand your expertise in this area?

    8. Change Your State

    Changing your physical and mental ‘state’ is one of the quickest ways to access a feeling of confidence. To do this, you need to know what the state of ‘confidence’ looks, feels and sounds like for you.

    How?

    Here are a few strategies you can use to access that:

    • Remember – Think of a specific time, associated with feeling confident. Sink into that feeling deeply and moment by moment relive every detail.
    • Imagine – Imagine how you would feel if you were confident. How would you act? Feel? Be?
    • Modelling – Think about someone you know who exudes confidence. Imagine what that person would do.

    9. Find Yourself a Cheerleader

    Yes, while I understand confidence is a state from within, you can also boost your confidence by the people you choose to spend your time with.

    How?

    Make a concerted effort to surround yourself with others who provide encouragement, positivity, and inspiration.

    Spend more time with people who ‘get you’ and see all of your greatness – and less time with those that zap your confidence or cause you to feel self-doubt.

    10. Just Do It

    When Nike came up with this slogan in the late 80’s, they knew just how to get the general population off their butts and moving. Turns out, this is a great strategy for being more confident too.

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    When you stand at the edge of the water; waiting, wondering, worrying if you can do something, you lose confidence. Your fears creep in and you begin to doubt yourself. But when you take a leap of faith, jump in and get started, your confidence immediately builds.

    Action builds confidence and each step you take builds it further.

    How?

    Think of one step you could take right now that would get you moving in the right direction. Then Just Do It and see what happens. An incredible thing about human brain is that once it realizes something is working, it will keep that momentum going!

    To get you to start taking action, join the free Fast-Track Class – No More Procrastination. In this focused-session, you will learn how to beat procrastination and start to take small steps and make your goals happen. Join it for free here.

      Final Thoughts

      Being more confident starts with one thing — YOU.

      YOU making the decision to take action. And when all else fails, YOU can make a choice.

      YOU can choose to be confident. YOU can choose confidence over fear and self-doubt.

      Your mind believes what you tell it. If you continue to tell yourself the story that you are not confident, you will believe it and your self-doubt will continue. But if you tell yourself you can do it, that you got this, your mind will believe that too.

      Remember, fostering a strong sense of confidence is critical to experiencing overall levels of health, happiness and success.

      And once you get started you’ll be unstoppable. Be brave. Be confident. You got this.

      More Tips About Building Confidence

      Featured photo credit: Church of the King via unsplash.com

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      More by this author

      Tracy Kennedy

      Lifehack's Personal Development Expert, a results-driven coach dedicated to helping people achieve greater levels of happiness and success.

      12 Proven Ways To Increase Your Intellectual Wellness How to Build Self-Esteem: A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power How to Build Self Discipline to Excel in Life 10 Powerful Ways to Be More Confident 10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When Feeling Stuck

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      Last Updated on July 21, 2021

      17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd

      17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd
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      If you are like most people, you probably have big goals and dreams that you would like to succeed in — you want to be the top in your career, live a healthy lifestyle, or flourish in your relationships.

      Everyone dreams of a positive future, but most people don’t realize the secret to a truly successful life:

      You determine your future in the way you spend your everyday moments. If you want to be a successful person, you must consistently develop good daily habits. As Aristotle pointed out:

      “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”.

      Building positive daily habits is a huge challenge, but can you imagine the amazing things you could accomplish with just a little commitment and determination?

      Creating lasting, healthy habits is the real key difference between people who are successful in life and those who are unsuccessful.

      You might be wondering which specific habits make the biggest difference. Not to worry, I’ve compiled a comparison list to help you get a jump start on a successful future.

      1. Successful people embrace change. Unsuccessful people fear change.

      Change is a constant for all of humanity, and it is important that you develop a positive relationship with it.

      When unexpected or unwelcome changes arise, ask yourself how you can embrace it instead of running away. A few practical ways to reverse a change-fearing mindset include:

      • Take a moment to recognize and address any fears associated with the upcoming change.
      • Communicate with a person you trust about your negative feelings toward change.
      • Practice positive thinking, which you can read about in the next section.

      2. Successful people exude joy. Unsuccessful people think, say and do negative things.

      A joyful, positive disposition can seem like a distant reality in today’s cynical world, but it may be easier to achieve than you think. All you have to do is notice the good things around you and practice being thankful.

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      Mindfulness and gratitude are not just buzz words – choosing a positive attitude can honestly change your life. Many studies have found that thankfulness leads to greater happiness. Furthermore, research indicates that gratitude may even have a lasting positive impact on the brain and overall mental health.[1]

      3. Successful people forgive others. Unsuccessful people hold grudges.

      As a human being, you have likely been offended or hurt by others plenty of times. Don’t give in to the temptation to hold a grudge. Let it go.

      Note that forgiving someone does not equate to giving up your boundaries (which are very important) or even admitting that the offending party is right. You should choose to let go for your own peace of mind.

      4. Successful people track progress. Unsuccessful people just criticize.

      Some kinds of criticism, such as constructive criticism, are good for personal and professional development. The kind of criticism I’m talking about is the pessimistic, nagging, unhelpful variety. This is the kind of criticism in play when you are unfairly harsh to yourself or others.

      Toss unfounded criticisms aside and consider tracking your “wins” or your progresses, no matter how small. Take mental notes or keep a progress journal.

      If you have a solid sense of what you have achieved, you will be less tempted to be hard on yourself.

      5. Successful people share information, data and ideas. Unsuccessful people hoard.

      If you have useful information or generate brilliant ideas on the regular, your first instinct may be to keep it all to yourself for personal gain and solo recognition.

      Instead of hoarding bright ideas, share them with your team. Your talents will be on display for the team, and the team will be able to support you and make your ideas a reality.

      6. Successful people are humble. Unsuccessful people talk more than they listen.

      Humility is key. The ability to listen to other people, really listen and understand, is essential to success in both work and relationships — and to listen you have to be humble.

      Everyone has experienced the frustration of being in a one-sided conversation. When someone approaches you with a question or concern, put your own world aside for just a moment and give them the kindness of your full attention.

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      7. Successful people take risks. Unsuccessful people take the easy way out.

      The next time your heart is racing and you want to walk away, consider embracing the risk. You never know what might happen if you take a chance.

      Embracing risks looks like accepting the speaking engagement even though it seems a little scary. Success takes the courageous route, not the easy route.

      8. Successful people learn, improve and read every day. Unsuccessful people stop learning.

      Instead of binge-watching a show tonight, save an hour before bed to read a book and expand your mind.

      Unsuccessful people are afraid to be flexible – they don’t challenge themselves to learn new things. Avoid this pitfall by exposing yourself to new thoughts and ideas every day.

      9. Successful people handle problems well. Unsuccessful people act before they think.

      The next time you run into a problem or even an emergency, try to work through your initial panic reaction with a few deep breaths.

      Instead of acting rashly, think through your next actions as quickly but as logically as you can.

      Learning to handle problems thoughtfully is an absolutely essential tool in the successful person’s toolbox (that’s you!).

      10. Successful people accept responsibility for their failures. Unsuccessful people blame others.

      Along with a previous tip about humility, this is one of the hardest things you’ll ever learn to do – but also the most rewarding. When you’ve failed, you must fight the urge to pass the blame. Successful people are able to fail honestly and gracefully.

      And, hey, don’t feel bad about failing. Some of the most successful people in the world have failed too many times to count. It’s all a part of the process.

      You can check out this article for more tips on how to fail well:

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      How Failure Helps You To Succeed and Grow

      11. Successful people work with passion and commitment. Unsuccessful people have a sense of entitlement.

      A short and sweet lesson for you:

      You should never expect to achieve the things you want without working hard.

      Follow your passion and stay committed to pursuing it. Work hard and stick to your habits every day. You’ll earn your reward.

      12. Successful people spend time with the right people. Unsuccessful people think they already know it all.

      A lot of people miss out on useful relationships and information sharing because they think they can do it all alone.

      Spend time with people who inspire you, spur you to be a better person, and remind you that you can’t go it alone.

      13. Successful people make to-do lists and maintain proper life balance. Unsuccessful people waste their time.

      Ah, time management. Unsuccessful people never master the art of organization and planning.

      Here are a few tips for you when it comes to time management:

      • Make to-do lists. Seriously, this will help you. Make time to do it every morning, evening, or whenever you are able.
      • Keep track of your time. Are you happy with the way you are currently balancing things? What changes can you make?
      • Keep a calendar full of your long-term goals (see next tip).

      14. Successful people write down goals and think long term about their burning desires. Unsuccessful people get distracted every day.

      Why is it so important to keep a long-term goal calendar? Here’s the deal:

      The things you are passionate about today need a backbone.

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      Give your passionate ideas sustainability by writing down goals and staying on task instead of succumbing to distraction.

      15. Successful people compliment others. Unsuccessful people try to bring others down to their level.

      There is no greater confidence than saying “no” to sudden jealous or envious feelings and choosing to sincerely admire someone’s talents instead.

      Unsuccessful people live in a world driven by competition, but successful people know that building people up is far more rewarding than bringing them down.

      16. Successful people want others to succeed. Unsuccessful people secretly hope they fail.

      In the same vein as the point above, this tip is all about good intentions.

      Care for the people around you. Encourage them toward their successes. Hoping that others fail will not help you at all.

      17. Successful people know their purpose and mission. Unsuccessful people don’t know what they want to be.

      The last thing that differentiates successful people from unsuccessful people is one of the most important:

      Keep your mission in mind.

      Don’t be swayed to and fro by passing emotions and events. Know who you are and pursue your dreams wholeheartedly.

      Final thoughts

      Above all, stay confident. Truly believe that you can be and are successful. Strive to prove it in your day-to-day habits and activities!

      What are you waiting for? Choose one of the habits above and get started today.

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      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

      Reference

      [1] Berkeley University of California: How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain

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