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Last Updated on January 14, 2021

How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

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How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

When in conversations about finding inner peace and lasting happiness, everyone seems to have a definition or ideology about the topic.

Some of these definitions are correct or at least point us in the right direction but a couple of others are just misconceptions.

Peace, as you rightly believe, is the absence of fear and pandemonium but that doesn’t mean that fun doesn’t exist where peace is. This is what some people picture inner peace as. No fun, no pleasure, just plain boring. But is that true?

In this article, you will learn how to find inner peace and happiness.

What Is Inner Peace and Happiness?

As Wikipedia puts it,[1]

“Inner peace refers to a deliberate state of psychological or spiritual calm despite the potential presence of stressors. Peace of mind is thus, generally associated with bliss, happiness, and contentment.”

The first line says, “Despite the potential presence of stressors.” Do you realize that it doesn’t say “in the absence of stressors?” This goes on to suggest that inner peace doesn’t take away your problems. It doesn’t take away national issues that affect you either or just instantly solve all the jigsaws in your life.

Note again that it doesn’t just say “stressors” but “potential stressors.” What does that mean?

Everyone knows that life isn’t a bed of roses so even if anyone happens to be lying on the side with an abundance of roses, there is this constant thought of “what if?” What if I lose everything tomorrow? What if someone I love dies tomorrow? What if I fail my finals? What if I lose my job?

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As much as you try to ignore these thoughts, you can’t deny their presence or stop them from coming. So what’s the point of the whole inner peace thingy? It makes you calm even when these thoughts abound.

The literal meaning of inner peace is, “a state of mind where calmness and satisfaction exist with all other unwanted factors being constant.”

This brings leads to the definition of lasting happiness.

People say that happiness depends on happenings which means that bad events take away our happiness. In reality, bad events tamper with our minds but this is where peace of mind comes to play.

When inner peace exists, it does so with happiness so when these so-called bad events come around, the worst they can do is make you sober and more reflective. Your mind remains at peace.

    What Does It Mean to Have Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness?

    Knowing what inner peace and happiness mean is quite different from having it. Ironically, many people know about this concept and can even teach it but nothing about their lives depicts it.

    You may have seen people who always appear happy and lively no matter what happens and you just keep wondering if they live on the same planet as you do. Probability is that they have mastered the art of finding and keeping their inner peace. You heard that right: they have mastered the art.

    Finding inner peace is not enough. The topping is keeping it.

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    Look at it as a messy room – our minds can rightly be likened to a room. You eat, sleep and work in that room and with all the activities going on, you barely have time to clean it up. You keep postponing clean up time until one day you decide to do it. It feels like a brand new house. The next day, you go back to eating and throwing trash in the same place and one week later, you are back to square one.

    Cleaning is an art and so is the concept of inner peace. It is something you learn and re-learn all the days of your life. The day you stop the practice, your mind begins to go back to being occupied with unnecessary stuff that makes it very unattractive.

    When your peace or happiness is threatened, the first thing that comes to mind is “find a quick fix.” Sadly, this quick fix doesn’t even lead you to talk it out with people who could help but instead, you take to Netflix, ice cream, binge-eating, and binge-watching or drinking all night. By morning, you get sober and the feeling of sadness and emptiness dawns on you again but this time, heavier…

    This keeps you moving in the same cycle; hence the increasing number of health-related cases globally.

    One thing we fail to realize at that moment is that all those solutions are fleeting and that is the distinguishing factor between all of them and inner peace.

    Inner peace is not a quick fix. It takes years of mind-conditioning but the results are always glaring and cannot be ignored.

      Why Is Inner Peace Important?

      Inner peace is important for the following reasons:

      • You begin to see and appreciate all the little things you never thought were important like the ability to walk, eat, breathe, having a roof over your head and even the sun that never fails to rise.
      • It teaches you to be patient because, at the end of the day, we’d all be on the same day. Nobody has ever hurried into the next day.
      • You learn how to maximize every single moment knowing fully well that we would all leave this world someday.
      • It teaches you to take things one step at a time. We all tell ourselves that phrase especially when we find ourselves in a mess but we never really actualize it until we find inner peace.
      • You would begin to see drastic changes in your health and wellness. Food and alcohol are no longer an escape route because you realize that there is really no escape from this life.
      • Your relationships and friendships take a positive turn because you have learned to appreciate every moment you have with the ones you love.
      • As your health improves, you will also notice that you stop aging so fast. In other words, peace of mind is an anti-aging factor.
      • You steadily gain control over aspects of life that you can control. Habits and lifestyles are some of the things you can control and the realization of inner peace help you handle those aspects well.
      • You feel more confident to take on challenges and tasks you would ordinarily shy away from.
      • You would be able to handle losses and other unfortunate events gracefully and not pretending to be handling them well.

      How to Find Your Inner Peace and Happiness

      Like many other concepts, there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to finding inner peace. However, all of the points provided here would prove effective in your journey to finding it. Use these steps to find inner peace:

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      1. Declutter Your “Room”

      As mentioned earlier, your mind can be likened to a room. When that room is occupied with thoughts of “what if” and “how not” plus work issues and family matters, there is no way you’d have enough space to do other things.

      This would take lots of practice and patience with oneself because you can’t just tell yourself, “Hey, stop thinking” and boom! You just stop. You have to consciously remind yourself to not overthink things and only take what you can handle.

      Even the bravest people break down, so take some time to clear your mind of unimportant matters. You need that space.

      2. Take Responsibility for Your Actions

      It takes a whole level of maturity to take responsibility for your actions, especially when it’s something you’re not proud of but to find your inner peace, you have to accept your faults and all.

      3. Accept the Fact That You Are Human

      Alongside taking responsibility for your actions, realize that you do not have control over everything. You’re human and there’s only so much you can do about anything.

      When you finally come to terms with this, you would stop blaming yourself for stuff that you did not cause and could not prevent.

      4. Your Issues Don’t Define You

      When facing a long term illness or disability or going through a series of tragic experiences, many are tempted to look at themselves through the eyes of their experiences (which is no surprise when others do the same). You are NOT your issues.

      Yes, you may have anemia or have lost someone but that is only a minute part of your life. It doesn’t entail your whole life and it certainly doesn’t describe you.

      Constantly remind yourself of this and watch people change their perception about you as well.

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        5. Set Boundaries for Yourself

        We all like to be free and do whatever it is that we dream of, so boundaries may sometimes look like our enemies but they aren’t. Instead, boundaries help us stay in check and be in charge. Therefore, the sooner you start setting boundaries, the better.

        Some of the boundaries you should set include social media time, talk time, TV time and work time.

        6. Take a Break

        If you struggle to take breaks, then you are the one person who needs it the most. Even phones and laptops begin to overheat and lag when they are used for long periods at a stretch.

        It’s okay to put your life on hold for the world. Go on a vacation. Travel the world. Visit a park.

        7. Be Early

        This may not sound like an “inner peace hack” (because there’s no hack to this thing) but it does help with keeping your inner peace.

        Have you noticed how confused and disorganized you get when you’re running late for an event? You just get tensed and worked up trying to figure out things if any goes wrong.

        So, when you have to be at an event try to get there at least fifteen minutes before the time. You would notice how calm you’d be even if anything goes wrong because there would be a few minutes to sort it out.

        Final Thoughts

        Once again, there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to finding your inner peace, so these steps may not be exactly what you expect.

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        The good news, though, is that these steps provide the basic foundation you need to find it. As you work on these, you will begin to find out other things you need to start or get rid of to hit that climax of inner peace and lasting happiness.

        More to Calm Your Mind

        Featured photo credit: Fabrizio Verrecchia via unsplash.com

        Reference

        [1] Wikipedia: inner peace

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        Jacqueline T. Hill

        Writing, Blogging, and Educating To Guide Others Into Happiness

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        Last Updated on November 18, 2021

        10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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        10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

        We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

        A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

        So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

        • honest
        • reliable
        • competent
        • kind and compassionate
        • capable of taking the blame
        • able to persevere
        • modest and humble
        • pacific and can control anger.

        The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

        1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

        All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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        But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

        2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

        How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

        I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

        “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

        Abigail Van Buren

        3. How does this person take the blame?

        Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

        4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

        You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

        5. Read their emails.

        Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

        • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
        • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
        • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
        • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
        • Too many question marks can show anger
        • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

        6. Watch out for the show offs.

        Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

        7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

        A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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        Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

        8. Their empathy score is high.

        Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

        People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

        9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

        We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

        “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

        Stendhal

         10. Avoid toxic people.

        These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

        • Envy or jealousy
        • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
        • Complaining about their own lack of success
        • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
        • Obsession with themselves and their problems

        Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

        Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

        Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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