Advertising
Advertising

Published on March 18, 2019

How to Make Living the Dream Life Possible

How to Make Living the Dream Life Possible

How many times have you looked at certain people around you and thought how lucky they are to be living the dream life? How do they get everything they want, and I don’t – you might have wondered?

Well, living the dream life is not about luck as much as it about hope, commitment and patience. No one just magically gets to “live the dream”. People who are living their dream have reached that place with consistent efforts, hard work and fearlessness and you can too.

So, start today by making small changes in your life that are sure to set you up for success. Here are 11 ways you can make living the dream life possible:

1. Know What You Want

Many of us spend more time complaining about our lives rather than figuring out what we actually want.

Firstly, it is okay to not know what you want. While there are people with clear cut goals, there are others who discover theirs with time. What’s important is making conscious efforts in discovering what your heart desires.

So, give these questions a thought – What makes you happy? What are your interests? What does success mean to you? What do you want from life? What are your priorities? What do you want to change in your life? Who do you admire?

These are a few questions that will help you figure out your goals and desires better. Write the answers down and keep building on them till you know what you want.

After all, the first step in living the dream life is discovering the dream. Isn’t it?

Still not quite sure what you really want? This article can help you:

Advertising

How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up

2. Have a Plan

Now that you know what you want, the next step is to devise a plan to make it happen.

Why plan, you ask?

Well, we all know how one day we are our motivated best and the very next day, we are back to being lazy. Here’s why having a plan helps – it reminds you of your dream and keeps you motivated.

So, break down your dream to smaller, actionable parts and set achievable goals for yourself. No, not the 5-year plan but the smaller ones like the 1 year, 6 months, 3 months and 1 month plans. Setting smaller targets will help you reach the larger goal progressively.

Write your goals down with respect to your personal and professional life, be as precise as possible and lay out actionable steps for each of them.

3. Take Consistent Action

Consistency is the key to achieving what you want and living the dream life.

However, being consistent is not easy. There will be days when you will begin to lose patience and want to give up and that’s completely understandable.

On such days, take time out and give yourself a break. Once you feel better, get back on track because everything you do is a building block and will take you closer to your goal.

Advertising

Whenever you feel disillusioned, revisit your goal and let it motivate you to keep going.

4. Track Progress

It’s important to track your progress regularly to ensure you are on the right path. You can take to journals, calendars and apps to keep a record of your progress and assess it.[1]

For the times you feel you didn’t achieve your goal, keep a note of what went wrong and learn from those mistakes. Focus on making progress rather than obsessing over perfection.

Most importantly, remember to celebrate your achievements and give yourself credit for your successes because you wholly deserve it.

5. Be Open to Failure

Life is unpredictable. You can plan all you want but also know that life won’t always go the way you planned it. You are bound to be met with some unforeseen circumstances or failures along the way so be prepared for them all.

Embrace failure and don’t fear it because it’s better to try and fail than to never try at all. The key is to not take failure personally. Instead, use failures as an opportunity to learn and grow.

When you become better at failing, you develop a sense of fearlessness which helps you get out of your comfort zone, take risks and reach closer to your goal.

6. Stay Away from Negativity

From your self-depreciating thoughts to people who see the bad in everything – negativity is all around you. In order to not get stressed and bogged down by these thoughts, you need to develop zero tolerance to negativity.

Sometimes one negative thought or comment can destroy all your efforts and drain you out. So learn to identify such people or circumstances and set healthy boundaries to maintain your sanity.

Advertising

Whenever you feel low, turn to doing things that distract you or make you happy like playing a sport, listening to music or even talking to someone who can make you feel better. Whatever it is, don’t harbor negative feelings – the faster you shake them off, the better.

7. Surround Yourself with Positive People

People around you have the power to influence you in many ways. Having the right kind of people around is extremely essential for your growth and development. For instance, someone who is around toxic people is bound to have a lower self-esteem and be forever stressed.

What you need is happy, encouraging and supportive people; those who can guide you, lift up your spirits and help you maintain a positive frame of mind.

So, always surround yourself with those who positively influence your life and don’t hesitate to cut ties with people who make you feel miserable.

8. Believe in Yourself

In order to be living the dream life, you need to first believe in yourself. However ‘impossible’ your dream seems or regardless of what people tell you – if that’s what you want, don’t be afraid to believe in the fact that you will make it happen.

When you are finding it hard to retain your belief, visualize yourself having achieved that dream and condition your mind to act as if it’s happened. You will be surprised to see how much strength you can derive from this small exercise.

So, cut out all the negative self-talk and don’t worry about what others think because the day you move ahead with conviction, nothing can stop you from achieving success and living your dream.

9. Focus on What You Can Control

Sometimes when your mind is going places and leaving you stressed, take a deep breath, stop thinking and eliminate all the unnecessary thoughts.

Unproductive and unnecessary thoughts do nothing but act as deterrents, leaving you overwhelmed and upset. At such times, just focus on the things that are in your control and forget about the rest.

Advertising

You need to accept the fact that there are things that are beyond your control and there is no need to waste your energy obsessing over them.

10. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Talking about ‘unproductive’, comparing yourself to others is another unproductive thought pattern that has never done anyone any good.

In the time of social media, it sure is difficult to not compare your life to that of others. A classmate’s LinkedIn update is enough to get you wondering what you are doing with your life. Similarly, reading about a colleague’s vacation in some exotic location fills you with envy.

Every time you make negative comparisons and feel terrible, consciously stop yourself. Everyone’s journey is different, and life is not a race. Compare yourself to yourself and work towards making progress. That’s all that matters.

11. Stop Making Excuses

“I’ll start exercising tomorrow”, “I’m too old for this”, “I’m waiting for the right time”, “When XYZ happens, I’ll start” – how many times have you found yourself giving such excuses?

These excuses are holding you back and preventing you from getting results. So, stop giving yourself excuses, overcome your fears and act on your plan – that is the only way you will make progress.

The Bottom Line

Life is short, and you certainly must not waste your life living someone else’s dream. Years later when you look back at your life, you want to be left smiling rather than be filled with regrets.

In order to make that happen, start with believing in your dream. Living the life of your dreams does not come to a ‘fortunate few’. It comes to all those who diligently work towards turning their dreams into reality.

So, make that choice and nothing can stop you from living the dream life.

More Resources About Motivation

Featured photo credit: averie woodard via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Adela Belin

Writes about motivation, mental health, personal development and shares stories inspired by her personal journey.

21 Uplifting and Powerful Famous Speeches That You Can’t Miss How to Make Living the Dream Life Possible How Do I Change for the Better? 11 Little Things to Start Doing Today 15 Really Good Podcasts to Keep You Motivated and Reach Your Goals How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

Trending in Mental Strength

1 5 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Mental Attitude 2 9 Ways to Prepare for Change and Live Your Dream Life 3 7 Steps to Start Living Your Dream Life Right Now 4 What Happiness Is and Is Not: The True Meaning of Being Happy 5 How to Accept Yourself for Who You Are and Be Happy

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 19, 2019

5 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Mental Attitude

5 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Mental Attitude

Cultivating a positive mental attitude starts with a realization — a realization that you’re not the only one who has struggled, who has survived, and who has started over again. You are not alone, and there is a way through the darkness. There is simple wisdom, which can be relied upon, to help.

Find support, but also learn self-care in how you treat yourself which is what positivity is all about. That self talk, that perception, that attitude you choose changes you and changes those around you.

According to New Stanford Study: A Positive Attitude Literally Makes Your Brain Better by Jessica Stillman,[1] Stanford researchers studies how the brain was impacted in achievement and learning when one felt or was positive about a subject. The result? Outcomes were much more favorable for that student.

We do well in areas we are positive about. But what if we can choose to be positive about, well, anything? That would change everything.

Positivity is not about just being happy, which is often the misconception. In fact, acknowledging a range of emotions is healthy. Positivity is persistence while using positive thinking strategies. It is sitting with your feelings; it is acceptance of what is; it is holding onto what makes you happy; it is purpose found in pain.

And the reasoning behind choosing to be positive — you get what you give. You receive what you believe.

Here’re 5 steps to cultivate a positive mental attitude. In part, they detail why it’s important to be positive as an understanding assists in the pursuit as much as the adoption of the mindset.

1. Attitude is What We Can Change

There’s a Maya Angelou quote that goes:

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

When you choose positivity as your attitude, you select an attitude far more destined for resilient behavior than the alternative.

When you have a negative attitude, your brain gives itself permission to develop negative thinking patterns and in turn, difficult and dark emotions. You spend all your days ruminating, or worrying about the same thing over and over again, thinking that will solve it. Doing this will cause you to miss the answers rather than make the most of the moments in front of you.

In actuality, the first thing you need to do is calm yourself. It feels counterintuitive, but that means to release your troubled mentality. When you release what is bothering you, you choose a safer attitude. One that helps you to accept your emotions, accept what is happening and accept that you don’t have all the answers. You’re less afraid of that fact.

Advertising

Attitude is everything. It’s how we heal ourselves. It’s how we stay positive. It’s how we secure things. It’s how we overcome.

Without a positive attitude, we cannot persevere. Perseverance is the point of positivity.

A positive attitude is how we fuel willpower. Willpower is how we fuel positivity. It goes in a circle. They are interchangeable.

Positivity denotes willpower. You can be standing in a storm and feel completely calm when you use positivity. You stay grounded. You stand firm. You do not fall over. And you know what? Even if you do, you get back up again.

There is a Japanese proverb, “Nana korobi ya oki” which means fall seven times, get up eight. This means you do not stop; you keep going. You make it through the hard times to find the good.

A positive attitude is about understanding you have power over your problems. Once you understand that, you can change your attitude. You have to choose positive thinking first in order to reap its benefits. Once you’ve chosen to be positive, you can do anything.

2. Positivity Is Your Unique Power

When you have lost it all, a positive attitude can help you regain it or to regain your strength. It’s the best way to live. It’s the best way to learn from life and love. When you are positive, you have a power that circumstance nor others cannot take from you.

Recognizing the power you have to carry on, to make the best of things, to keep going when everything inside you wants to quit is worth everything.

You can’t always have it all, but you can always have a positive attitude. This in itself helps you stand out, helps you to shine. It’s enough to save yourself (and others potentially) with. That power keeps you grounded and safe.

For example, say you lost someone to a disease. Instead of just thinking about the loss and seeing it as the end, a positive person may decide to contribute to a cause dedicated to that disease. In doing so, the positive person becomes a beacon of hope. They become a voice for something which in turn gives them power over their hardship.

This is how people keep going: Meaning. Meaning creates a power over our emotions, over our loss so that they do not define us.

According to the Mayo Clinic, positivity affects one’s stress levels and overall health.[2] It is that powerful. When you are positive about a situation, you are less stressful and more calm and able to reason better to solve the very problem in front of you.

Advertising

Cultivating this power is about realizing a sense of meaning can be derived from all circumstances, even senseless tragedies. People often contribute to something greater than themselves when they are searching for meaning, for purpose, for positivity, for power.

You don’t always have to have a reason for why something happens, but you can use whatever happens for a greater cause. It’s subjective, changing from person to person. That’s why no matter how much you want to derive meaning from an event, there are no outright answers about how to do that.

So, what do you do? Meditate. Listen.

“Whatever purifies you is the right path, I will not try to define it. Let go of your mind then be mindful. Close your ears and listen.” — Rumi

3. Be Absolutely Present

In life, you have control over your ability to be present in the moment, even if not control over everything. You have the moment.

Positivity is telling yourself that this moment is what matters. You can’t regret the past or see the future. The only way to be positive is to be here. What do you have right in front of you? Suddenly, your life shifts to gratitude.

Gratitude serves us in letting go of what we do not need. Listing what makes us happy is one way to stay present. What do you have right now that you can use? You have the tools to be positive.

Some techniques to getting there are through meditations or mantras. For example, “Nothing bad is happening right now” is an easy one to incorporate. Your past traumas can’t trip you when you ground yourself in the present, and your ability to reason further develops to the point that even if you can’t see the future, you know it will play out like this– with you empowered and in the moment, using all your wisdom and tools and positivity to persevere. That’s all you need.

Focus on the moment. In a blog about Mindfulness, Courtney Ackerman writes that one such exercise is to live in the moment to reduce worrying.[3] Think about the past and future in small, manageable doses. But focus mostly on the present, what is happening right here and now. This will reduce worrying and therefore stress as well as other negative emotions significantly.

This will allow you to be positive.

4. Practice Self-Love

Self-talk is the core of self-love, the core of what positivity is all about. Positive self-talk leads to self-love. And when our own cup is empty, we can pour into another’s. We have to help ourselves first before we can help others.

What we say to ourselves is how we practice positivity or put it into action.

Advertising

For example, there’s a children’s book called The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper where the train thinks, “I think I can, I think I can” the whole way through its travels. The result? It could because it told itself that it can.

Such a simple concept for a complex world. And yet, it works.

This is also how self-love works. What you tell yourself is powerful and makes its mark. Here are examples of things you could tell yourself to practice positivity:

  • I am enough.
  • I am worthwhile.
  • I can do this, I just have to hold on.
  • I will make it through this.
  • I am powerful.
  • I am unstoppable.

Here’re more examples for you: 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life. Add to this list with your own!

When you write these positive mantras, you start to feel them. If you write “I am positive about this situation” enough times, you will start to feel that positivity seep in.

Loving yourself is not going to be easy nor come overnight. There will be a mess of feelings, regrets, negative self talk and more that you will have to carefully tip toe through to hold your own heart. Your heart needs love, and often, we deny what it needs in pursuit of purposeless pleasures such as external rewards rather than internal motivation for a life well lived. We live for what others think of us, say about us, and sometimes, losing it all or going through hardship can teach us what we really need: ourselves.

Loving yourself needs to come from an authentic place, not a “fake it til you make it” mentality. It needs to be real. It needs to include those flaws and all. That’s all you can do to become positive about yourself. You have to start within and do the work necessary to heal and be healthy.

Take a look at these 30 Self Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit and try to practice them.

5. Avoid Toxic Positivity (Unhealthy Positivity)

Avoid the white knuckling type of positivity where you don’t acknowledge your struggles or pain (as they also serve you). You don’t just want to tell yourself to move on because that equates to repression.

Emotions are part of positivity. You want to sit with your feelings. You want to acknowledge them, give them a voice. Instead of telling yourself to move on, you let your emotions lead to a breakthrough that helps you cope with the changes of life.

The greatest misconceptions made about being positive is assuming one does not have to feel in order to change. Throwing away hurt, anger, grief, sadness, all those emotions we associate with being “negative” only thwart our growth and power. Positivity is USING these things to better yourself or the world around you because you’re not going to give in to them. They do not become you or your identity.

You don’t have to be the white knuckling soldier you’ve always been. You say your emotions, then follow up with a use or outlet for them. That makes your positivity profound.

Advertising

Positivity is not about wearing a mask; it is the opposite of a mask. It is freedom from negative thinking strategies such as jumping to conclusions, black or white thinking, worst case scenario assumptions and more. It’s acknowledging that there may be more strength or ability in you than previously assumed. And it’s worth it to find out.

Toxic positivity may suggest you simply put a smile on and act fine. That’s not real positivity. Healthy positivity is about showing up when you’re tired; loving when you are feeling loss; healing when you want to cling to your hurt. It’s realization that you are worth it, not worth writing off. And you care about the outcome, so you stay to sort it out. You don’t abandon or jump ship. You hold on. That’s healthy positivity.

So that one day you may say to others, “I see you. I feel you. I understand you,” because you have been where they are and got through it. It’s acknowledging the dark as much as the light.

It’s living so others may live; it’s all you need. It’s not an exact formula everyone can replicate, and no one can copy you either. Your story is important. You are meant to be here. You are meant to do well. It will be those thoughts that get you to the finish line. Thriving.

Final Thoughts

In every moment, you’re not going to want to be positive. There will be times when you want to throw in the towel. But even then, choosing your attitude, recognizing the power of positivity, being absolutely present, practicing self-love and avoiding toxic or unhealthy positivity will better your days and assist through your trials.

Being positive isn’t easy, but it’s worth it to see what is going to happen next. Just around the corner may be the change you need, but you’ll never know if you don’t hold on to find out.

Positivity is about being curious enough to stay for the outcome because you simply believe, hold onto and trust in yourself and some goodness in this world. That’s enough to keep one going, and enough to help them go from surviving to thriving which is where you want to be.

Everyone has low moments. There’s nothing to be ashamed of for that. You can feel negative emotions though without shaming yourself for them by practicing healthy positivity. These steps are how to cultivate a positive mental attitude.

That way you don’t live with regret. You live in the moment. You make the decision how.

You can start at anytime. Positivity can be like a switch of perception. Once you uplift yourself, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. And soon, you’ll be onto uplifting others which helps even more.

Positivity is contagious. It spreads like sunlight over the darkness. You can be the source of that sunlight. All you have to do is simple: Believe you can.

Good luck!

More About Positivity

Featured photo credit: Court Prather via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next