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Published on March 18, 2019

How to Make Living the Dream Life Possible

How to Make Living the Dream Life Possible

How many times have you looked at certain people around you and thought how lucky they are to be living the dream life? How do they get everything they want, and I don’t – you might have wondered?

Well, living the dream life is not about luck as much as it about hope, commitment and patience. No one just magically gets to “live the dream”. People who are living their dream have reached that place with consistent efforts, hard work and fearlessness and you can too.

So, start today by making small changes in your life that are sure to set you up for success. Here are 11 ways you can make living the dream life possible:

1. Know What You Want

Many of us spend more time complaining about our lives rather than figuring out what we actually want.

Firstly, it is okay to not know what you want. While there are people with clear cut goals, there are others who discover theirs with time. What’s important is making conscious efforts in discovering what your heart desires.

So, give these questions a thought – What makes you happy? What are your interests? What does success mean to you? What do you want from life? What are your priorities? What do you want to change in your life? Who do you admire?

These are a few questions that will help you figure out your goals and desires better. Write the answers down and keep building on them till you know what you want.

After all, the first step in living the dream life is discovering the dream. Isn’t it?

Still not quite sure what you really want? This article can help you:

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How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up

2. Have a Plan

Now that you know what you want, the next step is to devise a plan to make it happen.

Why plan, you ask?

Well, we all know how one day we are our motivated best and the very next day, we are back to being lazy. Here’s why having a plan helps – it reminds you of your dream and keeps you motivated.

So, break down your dream to smaller, actionable parts and set achievable goals for yourself. No, not the 5-year plan but the smaller ones like the 1 year, 6 months, 3 months and 1 month plans. Setting smaller targets will help you reach the larger goal progressively.

Write your goals down with respect to your personal and professional life, be as precise as possible and lay out actionable steps for each of them.

3. Take Consistent Action

Consistency is the key to achieving what you want and living the dream life.

However, being consistent is not easy. There will be days when you will begin to lose patience and want to give up and that’s completely understandable.

On such days, take time out and give yourself a break. Once you feel better, get back on track because everything you do is a building block and will take you closer to your goal.

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Whenever you feel disillusioned, revisit your goal and let it motivate you to keep going.

4. Track Progress

It’s important to track your progress regularly to ensure you are on the right path. You can take to journals, calendars and apps to keep a record of your progress and assess it.[1]

For the times you feel you didn’t achieve your goal, keep a note of what went wrong and learn from those mistakes. Focus on making progress rather than obsessing over perfection.

Most importantly, remember to celebrate your achievements and give yourself credit for your successes because you wholly deserve it.

5. Be Open to Failure

Life is unpredictable. You can plan all you want but also know that life won’t always go the way you planned it. You are bound to be met with some unforeseen circumstances or failures along the way so be prepared for them all.

Embrace failure and don’t fear it because it’s better to try and fail than to never try at all. The key is to not take failure personally. Instead, use failures as an opportunity to learn and grow.

When you become better at failing, you develop a sense of fearlessness which helps you get out of your comfort zone, take risks and reach closer to your goal.

6. Stay Away from Negativity

From your self-depreciating thoughts to people who see the bad in everything – negativity is all around you. In order to not get stressed and bogged down by these thoughts, you need to develop zero tolerance to negativity.

Sometimes one negative thought or comment can destroy all your efforts and drain you out. So learn to identify such people or circumstances and set healthy boundaries to maintain your sanity.

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Whenever you feel low, turn to doing things that distract you or make you happy like playing a sport, listening to music or even talking to someone who can make you feel better. Whatever it is, don’t harbor negative feelings – the faster you shake them off, the better.

7. Surround Yourself with Positive People

People around you have the power to influence you in many ways. Having the right kind of people around is extremely essential for your growth and development. For instance, someone who is around toxic people is bound to have a lower self-esteem and be forever stressed.

What you need is happy, encouraging and supportive people; those who can guide you, lift up your spirits and help you maintain a positive frame of mind.

So, always surround yourself with those who positively influence your life and don’t hesitate to cut ties with people who make you feel miserable.

8. Believe in Yourself

In order to be living the dream life, you need to first believe in yourself. However ‘impossible’ your dream seems or regardless of what people tell you – if that’s what you want, don’t be afraid to believe in the fact that you will make it happen.

When you are finding it hard to retain your belief, visualize yourself having achieved that dream and condition your mind to act as if it’s happened. You will be surprised to see how much strength you can derive from this small exercise.

So, cut out all the negative self-talk and don’t worry about what others think because the day you move ahead with conviction, nothing can stop you from achieving success and living your dream.

9. Focus on What You Can Control

Sometimes when your mind is going places and leaving you stressed, take a deep breath, stop thinking and eliminate all the unnecessary thoughts.

Unproductive and unnecessary thoughts do nothing but act as deterrents, leaving you overwhelmed and upset. At such times, just focus on the things that are in your control and forget about the rest.

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You need to accept the fact that there are things that are beyond your control and there is no need to waste your energy obsessing over them.

10. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Talking about ‘unproductive’, comparing yourself to others is another unproductive thought pattern that has never done anyone any good.

In the time of social media, it sure is difficult to not compare your life to that of others. A classmate’s LinkedIn update is enough to get you wondering what you are doing with your life. Similarly, reading about a colleague’s vacation in some exotic location fills you with envy.

Every time you make negative comparisons and feel terrible, consciously stop yourself. Everyone’s journey is different, and life is not a race. Compare yourself to yourself and work towards making progress. That’s all that matters.

11. Stop Making Excuses

“I’ll start exercising tomorrow”, “I’m too old for this”, “I’m waiting for the right time”, “When XYZ happens, I’ll start” – how many times have you found yourself giving such excuses?

These excuses are holding you back and preventing you from getting results. So, stop giving yourself excuses, overcome your fears and act on your plan – that is the only way you will make progress.

The Bottom Line

Life is short, and you certainly must not waste your life living someone else’s dream. Years later when you look back at your life, you want to be left smiling rather than be filled with regrets.

In order to make that happen, start with believing in your dream. Living the life of your dreams does not come to a ‘fortunate few’. It comes to all those who diligently work towards turning their dreams into reality.

So, make that choice and nothing can stop you from living the dream life.

More Resources About Motivation

Featured photo credit: averie woodard via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Adela Belin

Writes about motivation, mental health, personal development and shares stories inspired by her personal journey.

How to Make Living the Dream Life Possible How Do I Change for the Better? 11 Little Things to Start Doing Today 15 Really Good Podcasts to Keep You Motivated and Reach Your Goals How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated The Importance of Self Improvement No Matter How Old You Are

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Attain Self Realization (Step-By-Step Guide for a Better You)

How to Attain Self Realization (Step-By-Step Guide for a Better You)

Chances are, you’re busy hustling between the 40 hours a week you need to work, the family you need to provide for, and the bills that need to be paid.

As the years pass by, you’ve begun to feel the burnout from all the needs and expectations required of you. You don’t feel like you are in control over your own life. In fact, it feels like the circumstances in your life are controlling you.

What if there was a way for you to be able to have better control of your life and create all the positive changes you’ve been aching for?

This can be done through self-realization.

You’ve probably heard of this concept before, but you’re not really sure what it really is or how it can help you.

I’m going to dive into what exactly self-realization is and the exact steps you can take to attain it for yourself. Read on if you want to learn how to unlock your potential and find a way to decrease your stress and anxiety, and gain crystal clear clarity about who you are and what you’re capable of.

What Is Self-Realization?

Self-realization has a few big definitions. In the Western world, it’s generally defined as the activation of one’s full potential of talents and abilities.

How Psychologists Define Self-Realization

Humanistic psychology also follows a similar train of thought about self-realization.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow has named people he considered to have reached self-realization such as Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln and Eleanor Roosevelt to name a few. His famous hierarchy of needs theory states in order to achieve self-realization (or in this case, Maslow uses the term “self-actualization”),[1] one needs to have a certain set of needs met before achieving it:[2]

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    For example, self-realization cannot be achieved if you are struggling financially and too caught up in worrying about how to pay for the rent and provide food for your family. Unfortunately, this is usually the case for many people, which leaves little opportunity for them to maximize their abilities.

    How Religions Define Self-Realization

    In religions, the concept of self-realization is taken from a different perspective altogether. Connecting with your truest self has a lot to do with transcending your own mind and body. This self is often considered as an eternal being that is not confined to the physical space that your mind and body take up. Many recognize this part of yourself as the soul.

    To put all of these definitions together, self-realization is ultimately learning the answer to the foundational question, “Who am I?”

    The answer lies from understanding that you are not your emotions or your thoughts. Who you really are is not even your body or your mind. These are all things you as a self experience, but they are not you.

    And when you are too caught up in these things that are not yours, that’s when you fall victim to and get stuck in your negative experiences such as stress, anxiety and fear.

    While your thoughts, feelings, and physical body always changes, you do not.

    I know this concept can be a bit confusing to understand, so here’s a great video that explores who you really are explained by Prince EA. It was a video made in response to a bizarre interview session with Comedian Jim Carrey at the red carpet interview at the 2017 New York Fashion Week.

    Here’s the video:

    Why Self-Realization Matters to You

    How often are you distracted, lost in your thoughts, or overwhelmed by difficult emotions?

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    Being in the present is more difficult than ever with the technology today. People are often buried in their smartphones or laptops while others around are craving their attention.

    Most people spend so little time in the present. They’re usually either hurt and having trouble letting go of their past, or busy worrying about their futures:[3]

    “People spend 46.9 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, and this mind-wandering typically makes them unhappy.”

    Here are some amazing benefits to self-realization:

    • The ability to monitor your emotions. Rather than being controlled by your emotions, you can now use your observations about them during the experience to learn how to effectively handle things like fear, anxiety and stress. Self-realizations helps you do this by giving you the skill of letting go of debilitating feelings and taking hold of the empowering ones instead.
    • Improved focus and concentration. Guided by your own inner goals and values, self-realization helps you easily identify when you are entering into distractions and eliminate them. By getting rid of the meaningless things in your life, you stay committed to what matters most and you begin to see real results as you reach your fullest potential.
    • Increased confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem. By being connected deeply to your truest self, self-realization frees you from any insecurities, worries, and low sense of self worth that you feel tangled up in by helping you really grasp the truth that you are not defined by them.
    • Becoming more accepting of yourself and of other people. You are able to be more authentic and express emotions freely and clearly. As a result, you are able to form deeper relationships and spend more time connecting with people rather than trying to impress them.

    When people don’t have a strong sense of their own self, they get easily swayed to live life the way other people tell them to live it.

    The truth of this has been shown through Bronnie Ware’s famous work, which has shown that one of the top regrets of people who are dying was:[4]

    “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

    There can be tons of pressure whether it’s from work, society, and even friends and family for you to be a certain way. Maybe your rough upbringing instilled a strong need for other’s approval in you so you do what others expect of you. Maybe you’ve stopped trusting people because of your struggles with letting go of the thoughts and experiences that hurt you.

    Whatever the situation, self-realization gives you the safe space you need to heal and grow.

    How to Start Developing Self-Realization

    1. Start Meditating Regularly

    Aside from all the scientific evidence that shows the health benefits of meditation, it is also a prime way to achieve self-realization.

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    One of my favorite apps that guide you through meditation is Headspace.

    I particularly love this app because it is very straightforward without all the woo-woo types of things you normally associate with meditation. It does a great job of demystifying what meditation really is and how it can benefit you to achieving self-realization.

    Here’s a great explanation of what meditation does for you:

    You can get the basic meditation guidance for free or pay for a premium version for access to more specific meditations that improve things like self esteem, creativity and relationships.

    In case you don’t want to download the app, here is the simple meditation practice you can do right now:

    1. Sit comfortably on a chair.
    2. Start by leaving your eyes open with a relaxed soft focus.
    3. Take about a minute to take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.
    4. After a few deep breaths, gently close your eyes while you are breathing out.
    5. Resume normal breathing.
    6. Take a moment to pause and enjoy being present in the moment with having nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to check.
    7. Take a moment to feel the pressure of your body on the chair beneath you, the feet on the floor and the hands and the arms just resting on the legs.
    8. Gently bring the focus back to your breathing.
    9. As you sit there beginning to notice the breath and the body with its rising and falling sensation, don’t try and stop your thoughts. Simply allow them to just come and go.
    10. At this point, the only thing you need to do is when you’ve realized your mind has wandered, gently bring the focus back to your breath again.
    11. Gently bring the attention back to your body, back to that feeling of contact to your chair and the space around you and when ready, gently open your eyes again.

    Even if it’s only 5-10 minutes a day, learning to train your mind to be present is so important to your journey towards self-realization. You need to take a step back from the craziness of life and recompose yourself to be present for the things that matter most.

    Another great method that can be used to achieve self-realization that involves a bit more body strength is yoga. While there are many variations of yoga and has also become a very popular form of exercise in western culture, its original purpose served as a meditative practice to achieve the higher level of consciousness that comes from self-realization.

    You can access plenty of free Yoga channels on Youtube or join a gym to get started.

    2. Make Time for Self-Realization Every Day

    I know what you’re thinking.

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    “I don’t have time for this!”

    I beg to differ.

    About 40 percent of the things you do in a day don’t involve you actively making a decision. Instead, it is actually a habit.

    Out of all of your habits, there are probably a handful of bad ones. If you can observe your daily routines, there is a simple way to change a bad habit into a good one, which is to start making changes to your environment to make it easier for you to change your habits.

    The idea is rather than trying to squeeze in more time to do something, simply alter a daily habit you have into something else.

    For example, let’s say you start your morning by brewing your coffee and sitting down on the dining table for 20 minutes to browse the internet to catch up on the news.

    The news is usually full of negative information, so why not spend those 20 minutes in meditation instead?

    One easy way to make this change is to change your environment up by keeping your laptop and phone in a different room so you don’t have immediate access to it when you sit down on the dining table. You make it easier on yourself to spend time meditating rather than staring at a screen.

    Want some more great tips on breaking bad habits? You can try out Lifehack CEO’s secret Control Alternate Delete method, which was the method he used to break 3 bad habits in less than 2 months.

    Final Thoughts

    Self-realization doesn’t happen overnight. It will take some time and practice, but if you turn the practices into a habit, you’ll be guaranteed to get there. Once you do, you’ll finally feel like you are in more control over your life and be able to get yourself to the next level.

    Now that you have a better understanding of the importance and benefits of self-realization, why not take a moment to put everything down and give it a try?

    More About Self-Realization

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

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