“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu
It is human nature to want to be liked and accepted. However, this often leads to people worrying too much about what others are thinking about them.
This kind of excessive worrying can have a negative effect on your life. It can be so debilitating that it interferes with your ability to feel at ease with yourself and around others. Do not let it prevent you from living your life to the fullest potential.
Here are ten reasons why you should not care about what others think:Advertising
1. It’s Not Their Life, So It’s None Of Their Business
People are entitled to think whatever they want, just as you are entitled to think what you want. What people think of you cannot change who you are or what you are worth, unless you allow them to.
This is your life to live. At the end of the day you are the only person who needs to approve of your own choices.
2. They Don’t Know What’s Best For You
Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. Only you know what is best for you, and that entails learning from your own choices. The only way you will ever truly learn is through making your own decisions, taking full responsibility for them, and that way if you do fail, at least you can learn from it wholeheartedly, as opposed to blaming somebody else.
3. What’s Right For Someone Else May Be Completely Wrong For You
It’s important to recognize that someone’s opinion is often based on what they would do. This alone is the problem. What is best for somebody else, can be the worst thing for you. What one person considers garbage can be another person’s treasure. We are all so unique. Only you know what is right for you.Advertising
4. It Will Keep You From Your Dreams
If you are constantly worried about what other people think, you will never get to where you need to go in life. You are going to have to do things that don’t always meet people’s standards. You will come into situations where you have to put your pride, and your reputation on the line to get what you want. If you are constantly worried about what people are thinking, you will never have the will to do what’s right.
5. You’re The One Stuck With The End Result
In life, you are the one stuck with the consequences of your decisions. For example, if someone suggests you buy some stocks, but you just don’t feel like it’s the right choice, you are the only one who will live the consequences. If the stock falls and you lose a lot of money, you are the one that will have to live with the fact that you didn’t follow your inner call. When people give you their suggestions or even orders, there is no risk for them. They don’t have to live with your choices—but you do.
6. People’s Thoughts Change On A Regular Basis
We are constantly changing. Some philosophers and theorists suggest that we are in a constant state of flux, so much that we cannot even say we have one, specific ‘self’ (or a fixed personality). People’s thoughts, ideas and views change on a regular basis.
That means even if somebody does think badly of you at the moment, there is a good chance they will think differently in the near future. So basically, people’s thoughts don’t really matter.Advertising
7. Life Is Simply Too Short
You only have one life to live, so why would you spend it worrying about other people’s opinions? Do whatever you want, be whoever you want. You’re not going to see these people after you’re dead. You probably won’t even see them in a year from now. Live your life without worrying about other people’s thoughts and opinion, and you will live your life to the maximum.
8. You Reap What You Sow
Worrying too much about what other people think of you can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Frequently, people indulge their need to be liked so much so that it actually dictates to the way they behave. Some become people-pleasers or so submissive that many people are turned off. The behavior you use as an attempt to ensure you are liked may actually cause you to be disliked.
9. Others Don’t Care As Much As You Think
People generally don’t think outside themselves a great deal of time. It is a sad but simple truth that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think about most things in terms of “me” or “my”.
This means that, unless who you are or what you have done directly affects another person or their life, they are unlikely to spend much time thinking about you at all.Advertising
10. The Hard Truth: It’s Impossible To Please Everybody
You can’t please all of the people all of the time. It is impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations so there is no point in burning yourself out trying to do so. Just make sure that one of the people you please is yourself!
The weight of other’s thought can become a burden for you. It can inhibit you from living your life, because your entire being (your personality, your thoughts, your actions) are controlled by an idealized standard of what people want to see. When you become so obsessed with other people’s opinion of you, you forget your own.
You can make a conscious effort to stop giving a damn; to let yourself free. It’s a skill that needs to be practiced, like meditating. But once you truly understand how to let go, you will see the world as entirely different.
Once you give up catering to other people’s opinion and thoughts, you will find out who you truly are, and that freedom will be like taking a breath for the first time.
Secrets to Organizing Thoughts and Ideas (So You’ll Never Lose Ideas!)
Have you ever become aware of your thoughts? I mean truly aware. If so, you’ll probably have noticed that they’re disordered, disorganized and racing rapidly around your mind. Imagine if you could harness this and control it for your benefit!
This article aims to give you advice on organizing thoughts and ideas, providing you seven tools to help you decrease the chances of losing your ideas and make the most of them.
It’s helpful to think of each point as successive steps along the way. Here’re 7 simple steps you should start trying on how to organize your thoughts:
1. Keep a notebook in your car
Ideas seem to be able to come at any time. You need to be ready for this. As such it can be a great idea to keep notebooks in places where inspiration may appear.
It’s as the film maker Noah Baumbach once said
“I find a lot of writing happens when you’re not actually at the computer. So I carry a notebook”
Your car is a prime location to keep one.
Suddenly grabbing a notebook when driving can be extremely dangerous however. So if you have a method to record your voice while driving this is a great and safe substitute.
Alternatively, just keep driving until you find a safe place to pull over and write your idea down.
2. Keep a pen and paper on your bedside table
You probably know that your dreams aren’t just randomly occurring, each dream we have can tell us something about our subconsciousness, the meanings behind our thoughts and feelings.
Therefore it can be a good idea to be aware of your dreams, and with it, write down anything significant about them that springs to mind.
Our dreams are easily forgot, therefore keeping a notebook can be a great way to harness your mind when it’s at this extremely creative period.
Even when you’re not dreaming, lying down trying to sleep can often let your mind wander freely bringing your ideas to focus. This can be quite annoying if you’re actually trying to sleep.
Keeping a notebook beside your bed can both help you note down your ideas ensuring you won’t forget them. As you’ve written you idea down, you don’t need to waste your energy trying to ensure you remember them. This might help you get to sleep faster.
3. Don’t organize the ideas as you jot them down at first
When you’re writing down your ideas, it can be tempting to ensure they’re written in an organized, ordered fashion. Fight this urge.
When you’re noting your ideas, you might find more and more ideas come at you. Taking time to ensure they’re immediately well organized can slow you down.
Look at the following picture:
It’s a mess of hastily written thoughts and crossed out ideas. The notebook above belonged to Mark Twain, one of the most important American writers of all time.
Take a look at the following too:
This one seems to have no control or order at all. It belonged to Kurt Cobain.
Both of the above messy notebooks belonged to some truly visionary and brilliant creatives. Looking at their notebooks, it is clear that their focus was on the ideas themselves and not how they appeared on the page.
I’m not saying that they should always be disorganized. You might find this will be unhelpful in the long run.
By all means, come back to your notes and organize them. But this shouldn’t be your priority at first.
4. Compile your ideas in one place (e.g. use apps like Evernote)
All of the points above are about the vital moments to catch and keep an idea before it goes. However, that isn’t enough. Your ideas need to be easily accessible.
As such, it is a great idea to keep your notes and ideas in a single place.
It’s great having all of your ideas down. But having them written in different places or formats can become a hindrance.
Copy your notes and have them in a single location. This can be a separate notebook but there are a number of great Apps which allow you to keep and store your notes right on your computer or smartphone. I recommend Evernote.
You might find ideas written in one place relate to another one written. Plus revisiting your notes can be a great way to bring them back to your mind, perhaps inspiring more and better ideas.
5. Organize your ideas
Now that your ideas are compiled, it’s time to organize them in a way that is helpful and easy to understand.
One quick and easy way to organize your ideas is to categorize them.
You might have noticed some of your ideas are linked or related thematically. Consider what links them them note them under this idea. If you have many ideas, you could even make subcategories.
For example, if you’re a fiction writer, you could group some of your ideas under “Stories” and the form you think the story should be told: a drama script, a novel, or short story etc. Then with separate subgroups for genre such as historical fiction or sci-fi.
With this, you can develop on ideas in a way that is quick and efficient.
6. Kill your darlings
Once you’ve got all your ideas written down and organized. It’s time for the real work to begin — to figure out what ideas to keep and what ideas to get rid of.
“Kill your darlings” is an important advice for writers. It means that you have to get rid of your most “precious” ideas and words.
Not all ideas are equal. In your notes, there could be a truly brilliant original idea but the chances of them all being like this are unfortunately slim. There is no point wasting your time on an idea that will never work.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell which of your ideas are great and which are not. Trusting your gut can be a good way, talking to people about your ideas and seeing how they react can also be a good idea.
If you aren’t sure how to decide if an idea is good enough, take a look at this guide:
Remember to get rid of your emotions surrounding your ideas and approach them in an honest and objective way.
Once you’ve trimmed your ideas down to the very best, you can work on making them a reality.
7. Make your ideas actionable
You could have an amazing idea for something but if you don’t work on your ideas, nothing happens.
You need to start making your ideas a reality. Make them actionable.
A great way to do this is to approach each idea in turn and ask yourself the following questions:
- How can I make this relevant to my everyday life?
- Which ideas would be most beneficial to act on today and why?
- Is there a common theme emerging here? If so, how could I combine these ideas together to make them more powerful?
These questions enable you to work out which idea is most actionable and what idea you should first start working on.
With the above seven steps in mind, you’ll be able to master your ideas making potential.
With them, your thoughts and feelings can be utilized to boost your productivity.
Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com
|||^||Scientific American: Can We Control Our Thoughts? Why Do Thoughts Pop into My Head as I’m Trying to Fall Asleep?|