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I Can’t Go Back To Yesterday Because I Was A Different Person Then

I Can’t Go Back To Yesterday Because I Was A Different Person Then

Have you ever wished that you could go back to a different moment in time? My guess is that you have. Maybe you want to go back to a moment when you thought life was simpler, easier, more enjoyable, or just different. And your magical moment in time probably corresponds to before that “one” life-changing event.

You are not alone. We have all been through something that has made us a different person. That particular moment is different for everybody, though. Maybe yours is the loss of a loved one, a divorce or breakup, an accident, a scary health diagnosis, or a big move. Whatever you have experienced, it has changed you. You can’t go back, and you can’t turn back time. Why not? Because now, you are a different person.

Moving Forward

Alice, the famous Lewis Carroll character, said it best in the book Alice in Wonderland.[1]

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“I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”

This bit of advice is something that can help us move forward in our lives. There is no reason to mourn the loss of yesterday if your experiences have changed you for the better.

This bit of advice is something that can help us move forward in our lives. There is no reason to mourn the loss of yesterday if your experiences have changed you for the better.

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We cannot change the past. And why would we? Change and growth are part of the human experience. Sometimes these changes are sad or difficult, but that’s no reason to wish them away. We must move forward through these tough moments and recognize that we are being shaped into a different person. How exciting is that?

Accepting the Different You

We often remember yesterday with nostalgia. We forget that the new, different person we have become might actually be better than the person we once were. The business of being human, of experiencing change, has caused you to grow into a new and better person.

Accept this new reality and cherish it. We become stronger, smarter, and more unique as life goes on. In fact, our very goal should be to become a different person than we were yesterday. You don’t want your life to stay the same, day in and day out. Change brings about progress. Life is like the movements of the universe. If it stops moving and changing, it stops existing. The universe needs to constantly change for its very survival.

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The same is true of who you are. If you compare today with yesterday and find that nothing has changed, you haven’t really been living life to its fullest. Life is change.

Controlling the Outcome of Change

We cannot change the past. Life happens and people grow. You are different today. This is something you cannot change.

Does that mean we should stand idly by and let life happen to us? If it’s going to happen, should we just sit back and take no part in the person we are becoming? Definitely not. We must be proactive in how these changes affect us. Being aware of yesterday allows us to control what exactly becomes different about who we are.

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Take the initiative. Decide what will change in your life, the kind of person you will become. You have the power to control whether yesterday is turning you into a bitter person, a wise person, a happy person, or a reflective person. If you remember that these experiences and changes are necessary for growth, you can try to ensure that your growth is healthy.

Learning From Yesterday

So, does this mean we should forget yesterday if it was a bad day? Absolutely not. Part of controlling the outcome involves reflecting on and remembering yesterday. What did you learn? How did it change you?

Don’t look back on your life with regret or sadness, at least not for too long. These emotions are natural and valid, but you can’t live in the past and live a healthy life. Accept that you can’t be who you were yesterday. Try to turn those emotions into a learning experience. I’ll be the first to admit that this is easier said than done.

How do you learn from yesterday without living in the past? By attempting to appreciate your life’s moments for what they are: the reason you are a different person. Yesterday is the reason for your current life reality and who you are today.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via pexels.com

Reference

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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