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I Can’t Go Back To Yesterday Because I Was A Different Person Then

I Can’t Go Back To Yesterday Because I Was A Different Person Then

Have you ever wished that you could go back to a different moment in time? My guess is that you have. Maybe you want to go back to a moment when you thought life was simpler, easier, more enjoyable, or just different. And your magical moment in time probably corresponds to before that “one” life-changing event.

You are not alone. We have all been through something that has made us a different person. That particular moment is different for everybody, though. Maybe yours is the loss of a loved one, a divorce or breakup, an accident, a scary health diagnosis, or a big move. Whatever you have experienced, it has changed you. You can’t go back, and you can’t turn back time. Why not? Because now, you are a different person.

Moving Forward

Alice, the famous Lewis Carroll character, said it best in the book Alice in Wonderland.[1]

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“I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”

This bit of advice is something that can help us move forward in our lives. There is no reason to mourn the loss of yesterday if your experiences have changed you for the better.

This bit of advice is something that can help us move forward in our lives. There is no reason to mourn the loss of yesterday if your experiences have changed you for the better.

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We cannot change the past. And why would we? Change and growth are part of the human experience. Sometimes these changes are sad or difficult, but that’s no reason to wish them away. We must move forward through these tough moments and recognize that we are being shaped into a different person. How exciting is that?

Accepting the Different You

We often remember yesterday with nostalgia. We forget that the new, different person we have become might actually be better than the person we once were. The business of being human, of experiencing change, has caused you to grow into a new and better person.

Accept this new reality and cherish it. We become stronger, smarter, and more unique as life goes on. In fact, our very goal should be to become a different person than we were yesterday. You don’t want your life to stay the same, day in and day out. Change brings about progress. Life is like the movements of the universe. If it stops moving and changing, it stops existing. The universe needs to constantly change for its very survival.

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The same is true of who you are. If you compare today with yesterday and find that nothing has changed, you haven’t really been living life to its fullest. Life is change.

Controlling the Outcome of Change

We cannot change the past. Life happens and people grow. You are different today. This is something you cannot change.

Does that mean we should stand idly by and let life happen to us? If it’s going to happen, should we just sit back and take no part in the person we are becoming? Definitely not. We must be proactive in how these changes affect us. Being aware of yesterday allows us to control what exactly becomes different about who we are.

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Take the initiative. Decide what will change in your life, the kind of person you will become. You have the power to control whether yesterday is turning you into a bitter person, a wise person, a happy person, or a reflective person. If you remember that these experiences and changes are necessary for growth, you can try to ensure that your growth is healthy.

Learning From Yesterday

So, does this mean we should forget yesterday if it was a bad day? Absolutely not. Part of controlling the outcome involves reflecting on and remembering yesterday. What did you learn? How did it change you?

Don’t look back on your life with regret or sadness, at least not for too long. These emotions are natural and valid, but you can’t live in the past and live a healthy life. Accept that you can’t be who you were yesterday. Try to turn those emotions into a learning experience. I’ll be the first to admit that this is easier said than done.

How do you learn from yesterday without living in the past? By attempting to appreciate your life’s moments for what they are: the reason you are a different person. Yesterday is the reason for your current life reality and who you are today.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via pexels.com

Reference

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Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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