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I Can’t Go Back To Yesterday Because I Was A Different Person Then

I Can’t Go Back To Yesterday Because I Was A Different Person Then

Have you ever wished that you could go back to a different moment in time? My guess is that you have. Maybe you want to go back to a moment when you thought life was simpler, easier, more enjoyable, or just different. And your magical moment in time probably corresponds to before that “one” life-changing event.

You are not alone. We have all been through something that has made us a different person. That particular moment is different for everybody, though. Maybe yours is the loss of a loved one, a divorce or breakup, an accident, a scary health diagnosis, or a big move. Whatever you have experienced, it has changed you. You can’t go back, and you can’t turn back time. Why not? Because now, you are a different person.

Moving Forward

Alice, the famous Lewis Carroll character, said it best in the book Alice in Wonderland.[1]

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“I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”

This bit of advice is something that can help us move forward in our lives. There is no reason to mourn the loss of yesterday if your experiences have changed you for the better.

This bit of advice is something that can help us move forward in our lives. There is no reason to mourn the loss of yesterday if your experiences have changed you for the better.

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We cannot change the past. And why would we? Change and growth are part of the human experience. Sometimes these changes are sad or difficult, but that’s no reason to wish them away. We must move forward through these tough moments and recognize that we are being shaped into a different person. How exciting is that?

Accepting the Different You

We often remember yesterday with nostalgia. We forget that the new, different person we have become might actually be better than the person we once were. The business of being human, of experiencing change, has caused you to grow into a new and better person.

Accept this new reality and cherish it. We become stronger, smarter, and more unique as life goes on. In fact, our very goal should be to become a different person than we were yesterday. You don’t want your life to stay the same, day in and day out. Change brings about progress. Life is like the movements of the universe. If it stops moving and changing, it stops existing. The universe needs to constantly change for its very survival.

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The same is true of who you are. If you compare today with yesterday and find that nothing has changed, you haven’t really been living life to its fullest. Life is change.

Controlling the Outcome of Change

We cannot change the past. Life happens and people grow. You are different today. This is something you cannot change.

Does that mean we should stand idly by and let life happen to us? If it’s going to happen, should we just sit back and take no part in the person we are becoming? Definitely not. We must be proactive in how these changes affect us. Being aware of yesterday allows us to control what exactly becomes different about who we are.

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Take the initiative. Decide what will change in your life, the kind of person you will become. You have the power to control whether yesterday is turning you into a bitter person, a wise person, a happy person, or a reflective person. If you remember that these experiences and changes are necessary for growth, you can try to ensure that your growth is healthy.

Learning From Yesterday

So, does this mean we should forget yesterday if it was a bad day? Absolutely not. Part of controlling the outcome involves reflecting on and remembering yesterday. What did you learn? How did it change you?

Don’t look back on your life with regret or sadness, at least not for too long. These emotions are natural and valid, but you can’t live in the past and live a healthy life. Accept that you can’t be who you were yesterday. Try to turn those emotions into a learning experience. I’ll be the first to admit that this is easier said than done.

How do you learn from yesterday without living in the past? By attempting to appreciate your life’s moments for what they are: the reason you are a different person. Yesterday is the reason for your current life reality and who you are today.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via pexels.com

Reference

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Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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