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Last Updated on January 8, 2019

How to Conquer Your Fear of Change and Transform Your Life

How to Conquer Your Fear of Change and Transform Your Life

Studies show that 80% of people will quit their resolution within six-weeks.[1] When attempting to understand why so many people cannot transform their lives, you need to look at their beliefs.

Most people want to change something about their lives, but they are discouraged by the fears and self-doubts their false beliefs create. If you are ready to transform your life, then you must be ready to conquer your fear of change.

Where so Many Fall-Short

If you want to transform your life, then you need to aid your mind in understanding this is a change for the better. This is important because whether you want to admit it or not, you enjoy your current lifestyle.

Consider someone who was dealing with a variety of health problems. They experience dizziness, headaches, and numbness in their legs. They visit their doctor and the doctor told them they need to change their diet. They need to replace their chips and chocolate cake with fruits and vegetables.

If you have ever attempted to change your eating habits, you know it is not the easiest thing to do. Most of you already know that diet and exercise will dramatically improve your quality of life. Yet, I am sure you are also aware that knowing isn’t the same as doing.

Even though you know the benefits of a healthy lifestyle, you fear the change of never being able to eat chocolate cake again. In other words, your fear of change is related to losing a perceived reward. While you may consciously know that eating chocolate cake is not the best choice, you subconsciously (and consciously for many of us) enjoyed every bite.

Frequently, you will find your fear of change is associated with the loss of a reward. Even though you may know the consequences of things like eating chocolate cake, smoking, or staying in a toxic relationship, your mind focuses on the good times.

How to Conquer Your Fear of Change

1. Create a Reward System

For you to successfully transform your life and conquer your fear of change, you must reward yourself.[2] Think about it, if your mind believes you are removing an activity you enjoy, how likely is it to agree? For you to ease the transition into your new life, you must show your mind it is not losing, but gaining an additional reward.

By frequently rewarding yourself, you are encouraging yourself to continue. The mistake that most people make is they try to conquer fear with fear. This does not work as well as some would like you to think.

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While there is a place for both, I have always found using a carrot works remarkably better than using a stick. Whenever possible, you want to encourage yourself to run towards pleasure, instead of urging yourself to run away from pain.

By focusing on running towards pleasure, you will slowly shift your mind’s reward recognition. Overtime, you will no longer see eating chocolate cake as enticing as a good salad.

2. Research Your Transformation

While transforming your life can feel like a leap of faith, you can limit the height of the ledge by researching the changes you want to make. When most people decide to transform their life, they are only focused on the results.

While the results are a motivator to start, they are rarely enough to continue. Whenever you procrastinate on changing your life, that usually means you are fearful of the next step.

3. Ask Yourself: What Are You Afraid Of?

Your fear of change in this instance is tied to the fear of uncertainty. Think about someone who is interested in changing their career. They know that their current situation is not right for them. They have an idea of the type of work and the amount of money they would like to make.

However, they have no idea how to get from where they are to where they want to be. This creates a feeling of overwhelm as they are uncertain if they can accomplish their goal.

For you to conquer your fear of change in this scenario, you need to make a list of your concerns and research methods to mitigate them.

If you are concerned about losing your seniority and starting over, ask the hiring manager what they value most in their new employees. Then you can create a plan to deliver immediate value to show your worth.

Maybe you are worried about the relationship with your new supervisor. If that is the case, invite them out for lunch or coffee to get to know them better. In this case, it is critical that you are both as honest as possible. It defeats the purpose if either of you are pretending to be something you are not.

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If you are not confident that you are completely qualified for the role, check to see if you can find a competency test online. If there is no test available, ask the hiring manager if you can talk with the person you are replacing.

By the time you research the validity of your concerns, you will know whether you should take the leap or not. The mistake most people make is they never properly address their concerns. They allow the fear of change to fester into something that stifles their ambitions.

By listing and exposing each of your fears, you create the opportunity to conquer them.

4. Avoid the Past and Future

Whenever your fears and self-doubt discourage you from transforming your life, you are not living in the present moment. When you feel stressed and overwhelmed, you are living in the past or the future.

If you are living in the past, then you are reminding yourself of your previous mistakes. You are worried about repeating them and this can make it difficult to continue.

Other times, the previous mistakes may not be your own. If someone shared their past failures with you, those could be enough to discourage your willingness to continue.

In either situation, you are allowing your past experiences to discourage your present action.

If you are focused too much on the future, then you feel overwhelmed by possible outcomes. For example, you do not apply for a promotion because you are worried about the increased workload. You could find yourself avoiding new relationships because you are afraid of getting hurt again.

Whatever the transformation you want to make in your life, do not allow the uncertainty surrounding it to cause you to procrastinate.

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5. Stay in the Present

When you are in the present moment, you have nothing to be stressed or concerned about. Instead of seeing challenges as concerns, you see them as opportunities to grow.

If you just got out of a bad relationship, what did you learn about yourself from those experiences?

Could you be attracted to a type of person that is counterproductive to your goals? Is it possible you are in a different place in your life and you have a different list of priorities? Did something happen in your relationship that set it on the path of failure?

Your only goal in this exercise is to create opportunities to make better decisions. You should not fear the change associated with going from “single” to “committed relationship”, instead you should find opportunities to find the right person for you.

The same principle holds true in the promotion example. Instead of never applying for a promotion because you are worried about the workload, state your requirements in the beginning. This will ensure that you and the hiring manager are on the same page.

If you tell them you are only going to work a set number of hours, then it is up to them to accept your proposal.

When you stay in the present, you allow yourself to make the best decision with the information available. When you are focused on the past or the future, you do not have the opportunity to decide anything. Instead, you are only stressing out about the perceived “inevitable” outcome. Whether that outcome is driven by your past failures or your fear of the worst-case scenario in the future.

6. Burn the bridge

Let’s say that you have done everything recommended to this point, but you still feel as though transforming your life is a daily grind.

If you find yourself in this situation, you want to put the systems in place to make it easy to maintain your changes. As difficult as this may sound, on its most basic level, you are burning the bridge back to your old life.

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Whenever the fear of change discourages you from advancing, by putting the proper systems in place, you can make it even more discouraging to retreat.

Most of the time you are making it more difficult to advance in your transformation than retreat to your previous life.

7. A Layer of Accountability

Think about someone who joins a gym because they want to be healthier. If the only thing you did was purchase a monthly membership, do not be surprised you have canceled your membership in a couple of months. Instead, consider purchasing an annual membership.

This will help you feel as though you have invested a considerable amount of resources into your transformation. Then, you can partner with someone you know who enjoys working out. They will be your accountability partner.

You will task them with the responsibility of calling you every morning you are supposed to work out. If you do not answer, you have empowered them with the ability to make impact your life.

Whether you have given them incriminating photos they can post on social media, or you have given them money they can keep if you do not follow through.

On the other-hand, when you keep your commitments, they will give you your predetermined reward. By adding an accountability partner to your journey to transform your life, you dramatically improve the odds of you maintaining your goals and resolutions.[3]

Final Thoughts

To conquer your fear of change and transform your life you need a comprehensive plan. Spend the proper amount of time understanding your motivation, researching your concerns, and putting the proper systems in place.

Resources to Help You Make Changes in Life

Featured photo credit: Vlad Bagacian via unsplash.com

Reference

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Last Updated on January 10, 2019

Haircare 101: Hairstyling Tricks for Both Men and Women

Haircare 101: Hairstyling Tricks for Both Men and Women

Do you have a hairstyle routine? How does it look like? How often do you go to get your hair done, and how much do you spend on it? For basic hair care, most people use shampoos and moisturizers. Yet, many would like to have the hair like those people in shampoo commercials. Is that only a production trick, or can it be achieved in real life?

Turns out that it can, and it includes a plethora of products and an intensive hair care routine. You can use a hair mask, wax, mousse, gel, spray, volumizer, misc, pomade. As you can guess, this is a neverending list, which costs a significant amount, and it takes a lot of hustle. And we can all agree that we’re too busy with our daily lives to concentrate on hair that much. Still, when you see a pretty guy or a girl, you can’t help yourself but look with your eyes wide open.

The goal is to achieve that look without going bonkers and spend a ton of money.

How to do it?

First of all, you need to know yourself and your style, and then to follow it. One of the fundamental mistakes people make regarding hairstyles is the wrong choice of hairstyle. You need to choose based on your head shape and your type of hair.

You simply can’t have a particular hairstyle if your head and hair aren’t compatible with it. Guys – check here. Girls – here. When you’ve picked the perfect one, you should get into the process of mastering it.  Ladies first.

Hair defines your femininity

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    Through the history, the hair was a symbol of femininity. The average woman, during her lifetime, spends approximately $50,000 on her hair and almost two hours a week, washing and styling it. It is believed that our hair represents our thoughts, personality, and beliefs.

    There are dozens and dozens of hairstyles available today. The most popular hairstyles for women for short, medium and long hair are curls, waves, and straight hairstyles. Let’s get into those styles in depth, so you can make them easier.

    Curls

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      Curls give you a bit of glamorous look ideal for every occasion. If you weren’t blessed with them naturally, there are easy ways to get them. The easiest way is to do it with a curling iron. The first and the most important step is to choose a high-quality curling iron. If you are going to use it on the daily or weekly basis, it is crucial to choose one that is not going to damage your hair.

      Using heat protection hairsprays before curling your hair is necessary. For short hair, it’s recommended to use a ¾ “barrel curling iron; for medium hair, the 1“barrel is recommended, and for long hair, you should use 1¼ “barrel curling iron. Then, it’s all about the usage of this product. It might make your hair stunning, or burn your hair. Here’s a detailed guide on how to do it.

      Waves

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        Wavy hair is perfect for the casual and romantic look. The process of making them is same as creating curls, but the secret is in curling iron size. For short hair, you should use 1“barrel, 1 ¼ “barrel for medium hair, and 1 ½ “barrel for long hair.

        If you want to have loose waves, after using a curling iron just brush out the lower half of your hair or shake your head until you get the look you want. To master the curling iron, check out the ultra-useful article from BuzzFeed.

        Straight

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          Straight hair gives you classic look and classic is always fashionable. Girls with natural curls or waves need to spend more time to get this look because they need to use a flat iron, but this process is very easy and quick. Straightening irons are very dangerous to your hair, and you should be careful while choosing the best straightening iron for yourself.

          Before using the iron, apply the heat protection hairspray and divide the hair into sections. The thickness of your hair determines the number of sections – more thick hair, more small sections. Wash, dry and brush your hair carefully before using a flat iron. Make sure to set your straightener to the lowest heat if your hair is particularly thin and brittle.

          With these styles covered, you are one step closer to getting a perfect hairstyle/haircut.

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          What about guys?

          close-up of a man checking his hair in the mirror

            Since the beginning of time, it is well known that a good man takes care of himself. Remember, the single most important element of grooming, aside from basic washing and scrubbing, is your hairstyle.

            Besides making you look neat and handsome, your hairstyle tells a lot about you. Men’s grooming has reached a whole new level, and more and more people have been breaking out with their personal style. Here are some useful steps to get your personal hairstyle started:

            Everyday hair due on the go

            When it comes to choosing an everyday hairstyle, it is best to keep the details about your life in mind. Regardless of the style you want, it should work with your personality, and you’ll need to be comfortable with it. Consider all your needs, how much time you spend to style your hair, and how much effort you are willing to put in your daily look.

            First of all, decide how you want your hair to look. For the most part, you’ll want to keep it pretty much the same you usually wear. It all starts with the right tools.

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            hairstyle equipment

              Of course, you won’t get very far without a quality hair clipper with different guards and blades. Hair clippers are perfect for a casual maintaining at home. As a bonus, you can trim your beard and your intimate parts as well. You’ll be able to save a lot of money by trimming your hair yourself, so it might be a good idea to spend more upfront to get good and long-lasting equipment. Check out this hair clippers buying guide to get informed and buy the best one for yourself.

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                The purchase of the right model might seem pricey at the first glance, but think of it as an investment. Using the hair clipper on yourself might seem strange or uncomfortable, but you’ll get used to. Now you’re one step closer to a great haircut.

                Styling

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                  Styling your hair is the next important thing, especially if you go with the longer hair. Your hair might require styling every day, but when you get used to it, you won’t even notice the process. On the other hand, you’ll be rewarded with a perfect hairstyle every day. For that form and performance, you’ll need some products to help you out.

                  Products

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                    Select styling products that fit you and your hairstyle the most such as gel, pomade, hair wax or hair spray. Unfortunately, most of us will need more than water and a comb to get the desirable hairstyle.

                    Depending on the product and hairstyle, you’ll have several options to apply the styling product. Setting up your hair with the product before you comb your hair is a good practice, for most types of products, except spray.

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