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Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself

Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself

Everyone wants to become the best version of themselves, but few actually do it. We’re our own worst enemies when it comes to achieving success, chasing our dreams, and living a life that’s filled with passion and purpose.

Some of us are self-destructive without realizing it, and others are conscious of the fact, but lack the tools and/or knowledge in order to improve. But no matter who you are, there are 6 main habits that continually get in people’s way of becoming a success.

Eliminate these 6 habits and become the best version of yourself.

1. Stop the fear of failure

Does failing make you worry about what other people think about you? Does failing worry you that people will think you’re stupid and not a competent person? Does failing make you worry about the future and the desired lifestyle you seek? Do you tell people beforehand that you don’t expect to succeed or thrive in order to lower expectations?

If any of these describe you, then you likely suffer from atychiphobia, or fear of failure. It’s important to realize that failure is a natural part of life and doesn’t signal the end of the world.

Highly successful people, such as Michael Jordan, Richard Branson, and Bill Gates have all failed at some point in their life. Failure is needed because that’s when valuable insights are learned that can drive you to become highly successful in life.

Overcome your fears by analyzing all potential outcomes, practice positive thinking, have a worst-case scenario to ease your worries, and practice setting goals.

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Remember: “Fear will do one thing and one thing only: hold you back.” – Kya Aliana

2. Stop the fear of success

Do you get nervous when everything seems to be going well, but in your mind life can’t possibly be this awesome, so naturally something goes wrong as expected?

Do you get close to making the major breakthrough, but something, somehow, falls through?

If these examples happen repeatedly, this isn’t a coincidence, it’s actually a fear of success. Fear of success hides in our subconscious and displays itself in scenarios like the examples above.

People are afraid of success for a myriad of reasons, such as fear of losing their identity, more responsibility being added, raised expectations, and not being able to handle success well.

Success is a good thing, everyone deserves to live out his or her dreams and have a positive impact on the world. Handle success by staying authentic and remembering who you are, accept you won’t please everyone, and be comfortable with every decision you make.

3. Stop people pleasing

Do any of these descriptions sound like you?

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  • I want everyone to like me
  • I’m scared/I try to avoid disagreeing with people
  • I never speak my mind
  • I never say no (I’m a yes-man)
  • I never get angry
  • I never tell someone how I feel, even when they make me angry
  • I’d rather go along with the pack than stand my ground

If any of these describe you, I want you to tell yourself, “No more!

It’s time for you to stop playing the role of the ‘doormat’ and start becoming selfish and putting yourself first. For each second you remain in this people-pleaser role, a piece of you dies.

People pleasers are taken advantage of, prone to stress and depression, develop resentment over time toward people in their lives, and are prone to health issues, such as weight gain. Once you quit people pleasing, you’ll regain your sense of who you are and build up confidence.

Live your life to please yourself and to heck with everyone else.

4. Stop criticizing and judging others

Do you notice how some people have a short fuse for those who have ideas that are different from theirs?

Do you realize how quick people are to judge and label other people without knowing them and to not think twice about it?

To become the best version of yourself, you need to eliminate all negative energy. When you throw negative energy at people, you’re potentially damaging a person’s self-worth and self-esteem. You’re also throwing buckets of negative energy out into the universe yourself.

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Nice people finish first in life and achieve more than those who are selfish and bitter with the world.

Avoid criticizing and judging others by not assuming anything; know it’s not about you, and pretend to walk in their shoes to see the situation from their perspective.

5. Stop procrastination

Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination. Procrastination is another form of laziness. Procrastinators sabotage themselves from becoming the best versions of themselves. Procrastinators are sidetracked by insignificant factors that ultimately derail their goals.

There are many variations of procrastination.

To stop procrastinating, make you actions precise and calculated, have some form of accountability established, and set your goals up in a way in which they are small, manageable, and easily achievable.

6. Stop the negative self-talk

“I could never lose 20 pounds.”

“I’m so stupid, I could never do that job.”

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“I’ll look stupid and weird if I try to wear some of those clothes.”

When you receive a compliment about your work, you say, “Oh, that’s nothing.”

These are the types of things most people say when suffering from negative self-talk. Self-talk is a normal process we all experience, but once it becomes filled with irrational ideas that are negative, then there’s a problem.

The story that goes on in your head is a hundred times worse than the actual story going on in your day-to-day life.

Silencing the inner critic and putting a positive spin on things are two of the best ways to eliminate negative self-talk. Start by eliminating negative vocabulary, such as always, can’t, never (and ever), won’t, but, should, and try.

As Yoda would say, “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Comment below on some other ways you feel people stop themselves from becoming the best version of themselves? I’ll love to hear your responses.

Featured photo credit: Chris Ford via flickr.com

More by this author

Julian Hayes II

Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

18 Basic Rules To Lead A Fulfilling Life Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself 5 Fun Ways to Transform Your Body And Health When You Don’t Feel Like Going to the Gym 4 Common Reasons Why You Fall Short With Your Weight Loss Goals (And What You Should Do Instead) 7 (Surprising) Actions to Take For Guaranteed Fat Loss

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Last Updated on April 11, 2019

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

How Communication Skills Help Your Success

Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

Create a Positive Experience

Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

Help Leadership Skills

It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

Build Better Teams

Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

1. Listen

Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

Here is a good way to think about it:

Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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3. Minimize

I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

4. Over Communicate

So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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5. Body Language

The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

Conclusion

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

Now go communicate your way to success.

More Resources About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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