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7 Reasons Why You Are Still Single

7 Reasons Why You Are Still Single

Does it ever seem like everybody else on the planet is happily paired off with a perfect partner except you? Before you panic, don’t sweat it: this does not mean there’s anything “wrong” with you. Nonetheless, if you’re a part of Club Single and wonder why that could be, check out these 7 reasons why you are still single.

1. You are swamped.

Life gets really busy sometimes (especially if you’re an ambitious go-getter who wants to do everything). A relationship is a big investment in time, energy, and emotion (if you’re doing it right). What good is a partner if you’re too busy to spend any time with them? You might re-enter the dating arena after the dust settles, but for now your need for achievement trumps your need for companionship.

2. You value your independence.

The best couples understand that alone time isn’t just a nice thing to think about, but rather a necessity. Mentally strong people are not afraid of alone time. You can have a relationship and maintain your independence; but any relationship is going require some level of compromise (starting with where to go on date-night, through to bigger things like living situations in the future). If you’re not ready for that level of commitment, or want to maintain full independence in your decision-making, that could be why you are still single.

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3. You need to figure yourself out.

If you’re going through a big life change—like going to a new school, starting a new job, living in a new city, or [insert your new and exciting thing here]—that could be why you are still single. It is unwise to invite a new partner into your life if you have a lot of house-cleaning to do. Take your time while settling into your new situation: love will be waiting for you when you’re ready.

4. You can’t stop thinking about __________.

Holding on to nasty feelings about your former flame will stop you from moving on with life. If you have emotional baggage left over from a previous relationship, let it go before jumping into a new one. Or maybe you still feel love for a person who doesn’t return the favor. If so, these 6 tips to cope with unrequited love might be useful.

5. You don’t know what you want.

Your standards for what makes a person an “excellent” match will change as you mature. There could be times where you’re just plain confused about what you want in a partner, and that’s okay. It could help to go on a date with a few different types of people; you’ll come out with a general idea of what traits attract you to a person and be better able to choose a partner you can be happy with. If you’d like some fun-and-memorable first date ideas, click here.

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6. You aren’t comfortable in your body.

A lack of confidence in yourself can reflect in how you present yourself (posture, thoughts, behaviors, everything). Be confident in your body because it’s a glorious thing capable of carrying you anywhere in the world. And besides, what you see in the mirror has more to do with how you perceive yourself than reality. Curvy, muscular, skinny, somewhere-in-between? It doesn’t matter. Run, lift weights, take a yoga class, or practice healthy habits if you’d like to lose weight and get fit. But love your body today, because you’re incredibly good-looking as you are. And being confident in the vessel you have will draw people to you—confidence is hot!

7. Your actions don’t mirror your words.

If you talk about how you’d “just love to meet somebody special,” but never actually put yourself in a position where you could meet that special someone, then you have no reason to wonder why you are still single. Your future partner isn’t going to magically appear before your eyes. If you want them, you have to go get them! Make a dating profile, go to a bar, or coffee house, or park, or even a book store. If you see someone who catches your eye, march right up to them and introduce yourself.

Single-and-ready-to-mingle but feeling nervous? Don’t be. You’ve got this. Remember: be confident!

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Single and fine with it? Great. You can be happy alone (and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise), so no big deal.

Questions for the single folks:

Are you single by choice? (And if so, I’m curious: why?)

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Do any of these “reasons why you are still single” sound familiar? (Be honest!)

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Daniel Wallen

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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