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15 Things Happy Couples Do Differently

15 Things Happy Couples Do Differently

Not all relationships are created equally. If you’d like to spice up your relationship with a dose of fun, consider the following 15 things happy couples do differently.

1. They care about each other’s day.

It is easy to get so caught up in our own lives that we forget all about our partners’. Before going off on a rant about what a stupid jerk your boss is, give your partner a hug or kiss and ask, “How was your day?”

2. They embrace trust and avoid jealousy.

Our schools and workplaces aren’t segregated by gender, so how could we expect a person to not have friends of the opposite gender? Recall the tried-and-true statement innocent until proven guilty. If you accuse your partner of cheating without cause, what incentive do they have to be faithful when they feel like you don’t trust them no matter what? 

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3. They find common ground.

That initial spark is a glorious thing but there’s no denying that it can be fleeting. To keep your relationship interesting, find common hobbies and interests to pursue. If you don’t have much in common, explore something that is new to both of you.

4. They compromise.

We can’t have everything we want. If your boyfriend took you to a romantic movie he wasn’t that into, snuggle up with him during Game Night to return the favor.

5. They listen.

Do you really listen to your partner or are you just waiting for your turn to speak? Let them finish their thoughts and paraphrase them to make sure you understand by saying something like, “If I’m hearing you right, you feel like ______. Is that right?”

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6. They deal with confrontation.

Fights are no fun but there is no point in delaying the inevitable. Putting off a confrontation will merely extend the duration (and unpleasantness) of an argument. If you did something wrong, damage control is best performed as fast as possible, so admit your wrong and explain yourself ASAP.

7. They help each other grow.

One of the most hurtful things in the world? When a person you love takes no interest in your personal hopes and dreams. If your partner is exploring an exciting job opportunity, support them. If your partner is training hard to become super fit, cheer them on. Be excited for your partner’s achievements as if they are your own.

8. They don’t hold grudges.

We are all human, and we all make mistakes. A bad day at work, nasty illness, or personal stress could make any of us say hurtful things we don’t really mean. As Marilyn Monroe said, “…if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

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9. They express love.

“I love you” is a powerful expression that needs to be said daily. No matter how long you have been together, those three words will make your partner smile.

10. They compliment each other.

When is the last time you told your wife how sexy she looks in that red dress? Have you told your husband that he looks like a real stud in that super fine suit lately? Without the occasional compliment, it’s easy to feel unattractive and under-appreciated.

11. They flirt.

Flirting isn’t reserved for high-school teenagers or the early stage of your relationship: it should be a regular occurrence. When you have kids, sex might not be a regular event, but remember that everything is better when you have to wait for it. You could send a text detailing the things you plan to do to them this weekend or simply exclaim how hot they look today.

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12. They have inside jokes.

There should be things about your relationship that no one else “gets.” A sweet pet-name that everyone else thinks is icky. A ridiculous joke that no one else thinks is funny. An embarrassing story about a date-gone-wrong in your relationship’s early days. You get the idea.

13. They make time for each other.

No matter how busy you are, remember that your relationship is a priority. Just like a plant will rot without water, your relationship will grow stagnate without time together.

14. They value alone time.

This might sound strange since I just told you to make time for each other, but there can always be too much of a good thing. You should never be dependent on your partner for your happiness. Time alone will allow you to explore your own unique passions. A girls’ or guys’ night-out will give you a much-needed break from home life. The best way to grow sick of a person is to spend every waking moment with them. Maintain a little independence and your relationship will be stronger for it.

15. They do new things together.

A person can only do the same thing so many times before they get bored with it. If you go on the same date over and over again, you are setting yourself up for a moldy relationship devoid of fun. Go to a different restaurant that offers a delicious cuisine new to your taste-buds. Avoid the temptation to go to the same town or beach every year for vacation. It is a big world out there full of places to go and things to do. Life should be an exciting adventure, not a choreographed routine.

If you have any additional thoughts on things happy couples should do, please drop them in the comments!

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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