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15 Things You Keep That Stop You From Moving On With Life

15 Things You Keep That Stop You From Moving On With Life
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You are your own worst enemy. Yes, you may claim you want to be happy, but you’re holding on to a whole lot of stuff that blocks a smile from reaching your face. Let go of these 15 things to get moving on with life.

1. The Shiny New Thing

iphone5s

    There will always be a newer, better, more expensive version of everything you own. Does your cell phone, laptop, or video game console get the job done? If so, get over it and be happy with what you have. Life should be full of experiences (not things).

    2. Ancient Artifacts

    How many toys do your children actually play with? How much of your stuff do you actually use? If your answer is “not much,” then it’s time to cut the clutter. A clean home free from distractions will make you feel happy and satisfied with your surroundings.

    toy

      3. Faux Friendships

      Sure, you might have 2,000 friends on Facebook, but how many of them do you actually talk to? If you have any negative people cluttering up your feed, or acquaintances so unfamiliar they might as well be strangers, give them the boot with a quick unfriend.

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      friends

        4. Undialed Numbers

        Take a half hour when you have nothing else to do and scroll through your contacts list. If a phone number hasn’t been dialed in the last year (and you don’t plan on calling again), delete it without a second thought. Remember: quality over quantity.

        calling

          5. Neglected Attire

          If the question “when is the last time I wore that?” results in a 30 second pause while you deliberate, it needs to go.

          wear

            6. Excuses

            While you’re making excuses, other people are hustling hard in the direction of their hopes and dreams. Stop making excuses and start finding solutions. There is no problem so difficult you can’t solve it.

            excuses

              7. Baggage

              We all have a little baggage so don’t feel like you’re alone, but a lighter load will help you carry yourself forward with life. Carrying remnants of a relationship gone wrong into new love will put a damper on your new life, so it’s time to let it go.

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              come from

                 

                go

                  8. The “Right” Time

                  There is no “right” or “perfect” time to do anything. The more you keep telling yourself you’re waiting for the “right time,” the harder it will be to take action, so get started now.

                  time2

                    9. Insecurity

                    Your feelings of inadequacy will reflect in how you carry yourself. In other words? Being insecure in your words and actions will merely create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Look people in the eye, take their hand (firmly!), and speak to them with confidence.

                    scared

                      10. Unresolved Conflicts

                      Is there a difficult conversation you’ve been putting off for a while now? Things held in have a way of intensifying, so it would be in your best interest to get it off your chest.

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                      not perfect

                        11. Thoughts About Your Ex

                        If you’re going to linger on thoughts of love lost, let your mind consider the positive experiences or lessons learned (not the past regrets you can’t do anything about). Whether you were in the right or wrong, holding on to negative thoughts about your ex will not magically make your life any better. Do you want to find another person who is a better match, who will make you feel happy and loved? Then you need to drop it and move on.

                        ex

                          12. The Need to Be Right

                          What a person learns from being correct: Nothing. What a person learns from being wrong: A lot. Failure is a teacher who will drive its lesson home better than all of your college professors combined.

                          need to be right

                            13. Fear of Trying New Things

                            Holding on to your fear of new experiences will shut a lot of doors. Challenge yourself to explore as many new opportunities as you can. Growth happens when we evolve (not when we’re stagnate).

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                            fear

                              14. 24/7 Human Companionship

                              By the time you go to work, school, and back home… do you spend any time by yourself (and no, the car drive doesn’t count)? Humans are usually fun to be around but everybody could use a breather to relax and be alone. Make time for yourself and drop your need for constant companionship. Become your own BFF.

                              alone

                                15. The Belief That It’s All About You

                                NEWSFLASH: It is not all about you. Earth is a home for 7,023,000,000 (that’s 7.023 billion) people who face challenges and hardships just like you do. The next time a banker asks you for your ID and you start to complain because you’re a regular and they should recognize you, imagine how many people they see in a day (hint: you times a thousand). The next time you get mad because you’re stuck in traffic, let the fact that you’re not alone register (and if there’s a wreck, be glad you’re at the back of the line instead of in the mangled wreckage in front).

                                all about you

                                   

                                  Do you see anything familiar that’s stopping you from moving on with life? If so, how are you going to fix it?

                                  More by this author

                                  Daniel Wallen

                                  Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

                                  Less Thinking, More Doing: Develop the Action Habit Today 10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail How To Hustle: 10 Habits Of Highly Successful Hustlers 9 Things to Remember When You’re Having a Bad Day facebook addiction 5 Reasons for Your Facebook Addiction (and How to Break It)

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                                  Last Updated on July 20, 2021

                                  How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

                                  How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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                                  You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

                                  Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

                                  Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

                                  Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

                                  1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

                                  According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

                                  “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

                                  Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

                                  Warming up

                                  If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

                                  If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

                                  Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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                                  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
                                  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
                                  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

                                  Stay hydrated

                                  Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

                                  To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

                                  Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

                                  Meditate

                                  Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

                                  Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

                                  Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

                                  Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

                                  2. Focus on your goal

                                  One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

                                  Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

                                  Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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                                  Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

                                  If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

                                  3. Convert negativity to positivity

                                  There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

                                  ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

                                  It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

                                  Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

                                  Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

                                  Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

                                  4. Understand your content

                                  Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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                                  However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

                                  “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

                                  Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

                                  Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

                                  One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

                                  5. Practice makes perfect

                                  Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

                                  In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

                                  Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

                                  6. Be authentic

                                  There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

                                  Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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                                  Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

                                  To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

                                  With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

                                  Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

                                  7. Post speech evaluation

                                  Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

                                  Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

                                  We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

                                  You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

                                  Improve your next speech

                                  As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

                                  Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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                                  • How did I do?
                                  • Are there any areas for improvement?
                                  • Did I sound or look stressed?
                                  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
                                  • Was I saying “um” too often?
                                  • How was the flow of the speech?

                                  Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

                                  If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

                                  Reference

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