Advertising

15 Things You Keep That Stop You From Moving On With Life

Advertising
15 Things You Keep That Stop You From Moving On With Life

You are your own worst enemy. Yes, you may claim you want to be happy, but you’re holding on to a whole lot of stuff that blocks a smile from reaching your face. Let go of these 15 things to get moving on with life.

1. The Shiny New Thing

iphone5s

    There will always be a newer, better, more expensive version of everything you own. Does your cell phone, laptop, or video game console get the job done? If so, get over it and be happy with what you have. Life should be full of experiences (not things).

    2. Ancient Artifacts

    How many toys do your children actually play with? How much of your stuff do you actually use? If your answer is “not much,” then it’s time to cut the clutter. A clean home free from distractions will make you feel happy and satisfied with your surroundings.

    toy

      3. Faux Friendships

      Sure, you might have 2,000 friends on Facebook, but how many of them do you actually talk to? If you have any negative people cluttering up your feed, or acquaintances so unfamiliar they might as well be strangers, give them the boot with a quick unfriend.

      Advertising

      friends

        4. Undialed Numbers

        Take a half hour when you have nothing else to do and scroll through your contacts list. If a phone number hasn’t been dialed in the last year (and you don’t plan on calling again), delete it without a second thought. Remember: quality over quantity.

        calling

          5. Neglected Attire

          If the question “when is the last time I wore that?” results in a 30 second pause while you deliberate, it needs to go.

          wear

            6. Excuses

            While you’re making excuses, other people are hustling hard in the direction of their hopes and dreams. Stop making excuses and start finding solutions. There is no problem so difficult you can’t solve it.

            excuses

              7. Baggage

              We all have a little baggage so don’t feel like you’re alone, but a lighter load will help you carry yourself forward with life. Carrying remnants of a relationship gone wrong into new love will put a damper on your new life, so it’s time to let it go.

              Advertising

              come from

                 

                go

                  8. The “Right” Time

                  There is no “right” or “perfect” time to do anything. The more you keep telling yourself you’re waiting for the “right time,” the harder it will be to take action, so get started now.

                  time2

                    9. Insecurity

                    Your feelings of inadequacy will reflect in how you carry yourself. In other words? Being insecure in your words and actions will merely create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Look people in the eye, take their hand (firmly!), and speak to them with confidence.

                    scared

                      10. Unresolved Conflicts

                      Is there a difficult conversation you’ve been putting off for a while now? Things held in have a way of intensifying, so it would be in your best interest to get it off your chest.

                      Advertising

                      not perfect

                        11. Thoughts About Your Ex

                        If you’re going to linger on thoughts of love lost, let your mind consider the positive experiences or lessons learned (not the past regrets you can’t do anything about). Whether you were in the right or wrong, holding on to negative thoughts about your ex will not magically make your life any better. Do you want to find another person who is a better match, who will make you feel happy and loved? Then you need to drop it and move on.

                        ex

                          12. The Need to Be Right

                          What a person learns from being correct: Nothing. What a person learns from being wrong: A lot. Failure is a teacher who will drive its lesson home better than all of your college professors combined.

                          need to be right

                            13. Fear of Trying New Things

                            Holding on to your fear of new experiences will shut a lot of doors. Challenge yourself to explore as many new opportunities as you can. Growth happens when we evolve (not when we’re stagnate).

                            Advertising

                            fear

                              14. 24/7 Human Companionship

                              By the time you go to work, school, and back home… do you spend any time by yourself (and no, the car drive doesn’t count)? Humans are usually fun to be around but everybody could use a breather to relax and be alone. Make time for yourself and drop your need for constant companionship. Become your own BFF.

                              alone

                                15. The Belief That It’s All About You

                                NEWSFLASH: It is not all about you. Earth is a home for 7,023,000,000 (that’s 7.023 billion) people who face challenges and hardships just like you do. The next time a banker asks you for your ID and you start to complain because you’re a regular and they should recognize you, imagine how many people they see in a day (hint: you times a thousand). The next time you get mad because you’re stuck in traffic, let the fact that you’re not alone register (and if there’s a wreck, be glad you’re at the back of the line instead of in the mangled wreckage in front).

                                all about you

                                   

                                  Do you see anything familiar that’s stopping you from moving on with life? If so, how are you going to fix it?

                                  More by this author

                                  Daniel Wallen

                                  Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

                                  Less Thinking, More Doing: Develop the Action Habit Today 10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail How To Hustle: 10 Habits Of Highly Successful Hustlers 9 Things to Remember When You’re Having a Bad Day facebook addiction 5 Reasons for Your Facebook Addiction (and How to Break It)

                                  Trending in Communication

                                  1 15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do) 2 10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character 3 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time 4 8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future 5 How to Learn a Language in Just 30 Minutes a Day

                                  Read Next

                                  Advertising
                                  Advertising

                                  Last Updated on November 18, 2021

                                  10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

                                  Advertising
                                  10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

                                  We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

                                  A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

                                  So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

                                  • honest
                                  • reliable
                                  • competent
                                  • kind and compassionate
                                  • capable of taking the blame
                                  • able to persevere
                                  • modest and humble
                                  • pacific and can control anger.

                                  The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

                                  1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

                                  All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

                                  Advertising

                                  But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

                                  2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

                                  How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

                                  I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

                                  “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

                                  Abigail Van Buren

                                  3. How does this person take the blame?

                                  Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

                                  4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

                                  You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

                                  5. Read their emails.

                                  Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

                                  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
                                  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
                                  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
                                  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
                                  • Too many question marks can show anger
                                  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

                                  6. Watch out for the show offs.

                                  Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

                                  7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

                                  A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

                                  Advertising

                                  Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

                                  8. Their empathy score is high.

                                  Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

                                  People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

                                  9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

                                  We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

                                  “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

                                  Stendhal

                                   10. Avoid toxic people.

                                  These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

                                  • Envy or jealousy
                                  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
                                  • Complaining about their own lack of success
                                  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
                                  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

                                  Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

                                  Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

                                  Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

                                  Advertising

                                  Read Next