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Last Updated on January 31, 2019

18 Basic Rules To Lead A Fulfilling Life

18 Basic Rules To Lead A Fulfilling Life

Being fulfilled is an awesome feeling, but unfortunately, it’s a feeling that many have trouble finding. Fulfillment is an easy concept on the surface, yet it’s so elusive. However, living a fulfilling life is well within the reach of everyone. Here are 18 ways to discover some fulfillment.

1. Come to peace with the way things are.

“If only I had more money, I’d…”

Or, “If I had more time, I’d…”

How many times do you hear people say these daily? Many times, I bet.

People are so obsessed with what they don’t have that they never allow themselves to be satisfied with what they do have in life. Constantly having a mindset of wanting more and more will squash any chances you have of acceptance. Embrace acceptance and watch your stress levels go down.

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2. Take timeouts in life frequently.

Every so often, it’s good to hit the pause button on life and soak in the moment. Life can get hectic with work, relationships, and stress leading us to not realize how awesome life is.

Take time out of your busy day and smell the roses.

Finding the beauty and joy in the everyday mundane will allow countless little epiphanies and revelations, which will not only broaden your horizons, but make you grateful for all the things that are overlooked on a day-to-day basis.

3. Include some gratitude in your daily life.

Focusing on the negative leads to you becoming a toxic individual. Practicing gratitude has a myriad of benefits, such as happiness, more optimism, and better health. Challenge yourself to practice gratitude by writing or telling someone one thing you’re thankful for each day.

4. Spice up your life with some daily thrills.

Life is meant to be one big adventure, so get to exploring. Become daring and start saying yes to things you always talk yourself out of. Learn a new skill such as ballroom dancing, or go skydiving.

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5. Treat yourself like royalty.

Do you beat yourself up over things that happened in the past? If so, then you need to stop that immediately. It’s time to forgive yourself and stop living in the past. If you don’t show respect and kindness to yourself, then how can you expect someone else to? How can someone else see how awesome you are if you can’t see it yourself?

6. Eat in a way that is satisfying and healthy.

Eating healthy doesn’t entail the daily consumption of boring and bland meals, such as steamed chicken and broccoli. If fat loss is your goal, living a fulfilling life and eating awesome, tasty foods is very doable. Eating healthy should please your palate and your fitness goals.

7. Make exercise a priority, not an exception.

If you care about living longer, having more energy, and wanting to look hotter, then look no further than exercising to take care of all those needs. From improving your mood to improving your sex life, exercise is a no-brainer. If exercising isn’t your favorite activity, then read this article to help change your mind.

8. Stop making life so difficult.

Sometimes, life is meant to be simple. Stop overanalyzing everything and making every decision complicated and complex. Life isn’t meant to be filled with stress. Chill out and take a walk through the park or go have a quiet and relaxing dinner.

9. Punch fear in the face and get to living.

Fear is a natural part of our lives. Conquering fear starts in our heads and the mindset that we approach fear with. Experiencing failure provides value when it comes to living a fulfilling life and being the best version of yourself. Through failures, you’ll learn lessons that will make you a better person down the road.

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10. Stop letting others determine your self-worth.

When you compare yourself to others, you’re devaluing yourself. Looking at someone else’s life from the outside is the same as looking at a highlight reel. Who knows how long it took them to get to their current position? Don’t compare your life to others.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”– Eleanor Roosevelt

11. Kick all your negative company to the curb.

Life is far too short and awesome to deal with negative people who are full of toxic thoughts and habits. Keeping negative people around guarantees you’ll be unhappy and miserable. Equate negative people to mosquitoes and put some repellent on so they can’t suck the life out of you.

18 basic rules to lead a fulfilling life- no time for negative company
    No time for negative company. Photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via photopin cc

    12. Learn to enjoy your own company.

    Don’t become reliant on other people’s company or feel the need to be in a relationship to feel complete. Being in a relationship needs to come from a want, not a need. Embrace the notion of being your own BFF.

    13. Commit to being a lifelong learner.

    Those who desire to live a fulfilling life need to have a curious and hungry mind. By being a lifelong learner you realize that there’s a vast world out there that is waiting for exploration and adventures. By constantly learning, you’re increasing your knowledge and perspective of the world.

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    14. Escape from all the craziness that lives in our head.

    The story that exists in your head is not even close to the actual day-to-day story that you live. Eliminate all those negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Positive thinking leads to positive results.

    15. Challenge yourself to become a social butterfly.

    Make an effort to connect with more people, smile, and maintain eye contact a little longer than normal. This forces you to become more open to the world, leading to greater connections. When meeting new people, choose people from all different backgrounds and beliefs. This allows you to become a more well-rounded individual.

    16. Embrace living outside your comfort zone.

    If you never take yourself outside of your comfort zone, you’ll never know what you’re capable of in life. All the magic in life happens outside your little box. By staying inside your shell, you will only produce a mediocre version of yourself. Start living outside your comfort zone today by doing something you normally wouldn’t do.

    17. Go for your dreams and let no one take them from you.

    You can’t be afraid to go after what you want. Following your dreams is a vital part of living a life of fulfillment and shouldn’t be overlooked. Everyone says to follow your dreams, but few do. You only get to live through this thing we call life once, so you might as well make the best of it and live it on your own terms.

    18. You should quit being so serious 24/7.

    Would you please have a sense of humor and smile? Not everything is a matter of life and death. Feel free to take time off from playing the role of Captain Serious and joke around and act stupid.

    Laughter helps people live longer, while also reducing blood pressure. The world would be a better place if we would all quit taking ourselves so seriously and get a little stupid. One of my favorite ways to get stupid is to start dancing. Here are some videos to help you get your dance on.

    Featured photo credit: Ed Yourdon via flickr.com

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    Julian Hayes II

    Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

    18 Basic Rules To Lead A Fulfilling Life Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself 5 Fun Ways to Transform Your Body And Health When You Don’t Feel Like Going to the Gym 4 Common Reasons Why You Fall Short With Your Weight Loss Goals (And What You Should Do Instead) 7 (Surprising) Actions to Take For Guaranteed Fat Loss

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    Last Updated on May 21, 2019

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

    For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

    If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

    Example 1

    You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

    You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

    In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

    Example 2

    You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

    People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

    You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

    Example 3

    You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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    The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

    Example 4

    You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

    Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

    If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

    Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

    • Understand your own communication style
    • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
    • Communicate with precision and care
    • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

    1. Understand Your Communication Style

    To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

    In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

    Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

    2. Learn Others Communication Styles

    Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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    If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

    “How do you prefer to receive information?”

    This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

    To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

    3. Exercise Precision and Care

    A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

    On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

    Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

    I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

    I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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    In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

    The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

    Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

    4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

    Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

    In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

    “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

    Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

    Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

    It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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    It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

    It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

    Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

    Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

    The Bottom Line

    When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

    I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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    Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

    Reference

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