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Published on May 21, 2019

How to Raise Your Self Worth and Trust Yourself More

How to Raise Your Self Worth and Trust Yourself More

When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Do you see someone you trust, admire, and believe in? Or do you see someone who is always making mistakes and falling short?

The reality is who you see has little to do with what you are visually looking at. It has everything to do with what the little voice in your head is saying about you at any given time.

That little voice in your head, the one is constantly judging everything… that is your self worth.

Your self worth can be your best friend or your worst enemy. If your self worth does not deem you worthy from time to time, then this article is for you.

Here’s how to raise your self worth and trust yourself more:

1. Allow Time to Build Trust in Yourself

Your self-worth is how confident you are in your own ability to accomplish something. You can have a high self worth when you are asking for a raise or promotion. However, you can have a low self worth when you are asked to present in front of a large group of people.

Your ability to trust yourself is directly linked to your comfort in the activity you are performing. You are rarely going to find yourself comfortable in every situation. There are going to be events in which you have built trust in yourself over time.

For example, you were not very confident in your abilities when you first started your career, but you realized your value over time. You discovered through your experiences that you had a lot to offer and plenty of companies will be interested.

2. Know That What You Can’t Control Isn’t Your Fault

Your self worth is your opinion of yourself. Make sure you keep it that way. Your self-worth should not be dependent or predicated on your interactions with others.

Another way of looking at this is to control what you can control. You can control things like effort and attitude, but you cannot control the reactions of other people.

While it may be hard to believe, most of the reactions you face in life have nothing to do with you. That person is usually going through something in their own life and they are attempting to understand how you impact their life. What if they were simply having a bad day and you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?

There will be times you apply for a new job, and you are not even called for an interview. You start to wonder if you are not qualified for the position and you debate whether you should change your resume in some way. It is natural for you to look inward.

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We all internalize rejection and think we are to blame. However, I can tell you firsthand that I have seen companies post positions online for an internal candidate that was already selected. They only posted the role online because they were required to do so by law.

So once they had a handful of applicants apply for the position, they would close the position and hire their internal candidate. In that situation, there was nothing you could change about your resume, cover letter, or salary requirements. The position was not yours to have and there was nothing you could do about it.

That is why you cannot allow external events to alter your self worth. When you internalize everything, you are assigning blame where there may be none.

3. Set a Time to Take Action

There is a balance you need to find between preparation and action. While you do not want to run into a situation unprepared, you also do you want to procrastinate by over-analyzing of the problem.

The more time you go without taking action, the more reasons your mind is going to create for continued inaction.

If you want to increase your trust in yourself, then take some time to research your goal. Understand the amount of time it should take to accomplish, some of the setbacks people often face, and ways you can overcome them.

By taking the time to prepare, you are going to increase the trust you have in yourself.

Your goal is to use this information to create a road-map to mirror their success. Each article, encounter, or situation you read about is one more reason you know success is possible.

Now, you are operating from a position of strength. Now, it is not a question of “if” it is possible, but a question of “when” you will do it. You have created a proven system that is sure to create the results you want.

Once you have the system, all that is left is for you to take action. Setting a time to take action is important because you can know what to do and still not do it.

And as I mentioned already, if you want to overcome your fear and self-doubt, you need to take action. Taking action is the best way to prove to you have what it takes!

4. Talk to Yourself Positively

If you want to trust yourself, make sure you speak to yourself in a way that is encouraging.

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Never say things like, “this always happens to me” or “I can never get it right”. These negative statements become self-fulfilling prophecies and they make it hard for you to believe and trust in yourself.

Instead, say things like, “he is working on this” or “that can happen to her once in a while”.

Did you notice my use of third person? Before you think I am crazy, let me explain:

Studies show how you engage in self-talk matters a lot, and the best way to speak to yourself is in third person. This allows you to put a little distance between you and your thoughts. This will allow you to be more objective, as well as reduce your overall stress when dealing with different situations.[1]

If you do not like what you are saying, feel free to refer to those thoughts as another person altogether. Only assign your name to the thoughts that are positive and encouraging.

Here’re 15 Ways to Practice Positive Self-Talk for Success you can learn.

5. Turn Your Anxiety into Excitement

Studies have shown you can raise your self worth by changing the way you look at anxiety. Instead of attempting to calm down before the big meeting with your boss (as most of you have been told), you should view your anxiety as excitement.[2]

Those who “reappraise their anxious arousal as excitement feel more exited and perform better.”

This tip reaffirms the thought that there is nothing necessarily good or bad, it is all about how you react to it.

In this case, if you feel anxious about a particular action you are about to take, do not tell yourself to calm down — that is playing into the hands of your self-doubt. Instead, if you tell yourself you are excited, like an athlete or performer before the big show, then you are setting the stage for victory.

6. Fail, and Fail Often

It sounds counterproductive to link failure and trust, but hear me out:

If you are failing, then that means you are trusting yourself to take action.

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I am a big believer that failure is a key factor of success. Think of all the highly successful people, or your favorite superhero movie, or any movie for that matter. Along the way to success, your main character is going to find themselves recovering from a setback.

They will be faced with the choice to persevere or quit. That is one of the reasons most people enjoy movies so much. You have an opportunity to live vicariously through their failures, share their heartaches, and celebrate their victories.

Now take a moment and think about the trials a main character endured through one of your favorite movies. There is going to be a moment where you can see they are fearful about the future. Where they believe failure is an inescapable result no matter what changes they make, or how many times they try.

Feeling defeated, they usually try to move on and live a lesser life, but something pulls them back into the fight. That moment of uncertainty and self-doubt is something you will face on your journey as well. When you find yourself with the choice to move on or retool, choose to get up and try again.

The more times you can fail in given day, the more confident you should be that success is on the horizon. This is why your self worth is so critical.

If you believe failure is a part of you, then there is no reason for you to continue. The results are the results and there is nothing you can do about it.

However, if you believe that the results are an indication of a lesson you need to learn, then you have an opportunity to make adjustments where need be and thrive.

7. Invest in Yourself

If you are sitting for a certification and failed the first time, you can conclude you need to increase your understanding of the principles covered. This could mean you hire a tutor, join a study group, or purchase a better study guide.

If you return to our movie analogy, if you lost the fight, you may need to improve your strategy, combat skills or weaponry.

I will use Thor Ragnarok as an example. Thor is the God of Thunder and his hammer, Mjolnir is his go-to weapon of choice. He can use it to help him channel lightening, fly and just hit people in the face. It is natural to understand why he had so much trust in himself and his abilities. The problem occurs when Hela destroys Thor’s hammer and he believes all of his abilities are tied to his hammer. Turns out he actually had little to no trust in himself, just the hammer. The rest of the movie is Thor battling these inner demons and finding the resolve (and strength) to keep going.

There are studies that show a clear link between exercise, how you feel about yourself, and your performance.[3]

You may have noticed the, “Can I trust myself” struggle is a reoccurring theme in Marvel movies…

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Tony Stark had the same problem where he thought the suit made him Iron Man.

Peter Parker, received an upgraded suit in Homecoming… yup you guessed it. He thought the suit made him Spiderman.

Captain America’s was a little different, but the same overall. He trusted S.H.I.E.L.D. more than he trusted himself.

I could keep going, but I think you get the picture. The hero inside of each of us struggles with the question: Do I have what it takes?

So what is the takeaway?

Do not make the mistake of placing your trust in your investment. Whether that is a tutor, study guide, or anything else. The key is to better equip yourself so YOU can succeed (Emphasis on YOU).

Final Thoughts

Start by recognizing that everyone has confidence in the right situation and everyone has self-doubt in the wrong situation. See if you can recognize why your confidence levels are so high in one environment and so low in the other.

Then start taking the necessary steps to increase your self worth and build trust in your areas of improvement areas.

Just remember, building trust in yourself takes time and you need to be patient and diligent in your efforts.

More Articles About Self Worth & Confidence

Featured photo credit: Bart LaRue via unsplash.com

Reference

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Last Updated on April 3, 2020

7 Stress Management Techniques to Get You Back on Track

7 Stress Management Techniques to Get You Back on Track

There is no one in this world that can say they have never been stressed. Stress affects us all. Some of us are better at managing the negative impact that stress can have on our lives.

The one person who can control stress in your life is you. It is also up to you to be accountable for how you want to live your life.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with what is happening in your life and you want to get back on track, then these 7 stress management techniques will help to minimise the negative impact that stress has on your life.

What You Didn’t Know About Stress

Stress is a state of tension and it is a normal part of life. The most common external sources that can cause stress in our lives are finances, the demands of work and relationships.

The internal sources of stress come from within us and the pressure we put on ourselves because of our high personal standards, beliefs, values, attitude, goals, needs and wants. Some examples of internal sources of stress can be striving for perfection in all we do or refusing to speak to an audience because of our internal fears.

We also have what is called “internal chatter” which can also cause huge stress in our lives. This internal chatter comes from our negative thought patterns, negative experiences and bad habits. Our negative internal chatter, if we let it, can be quite destructive and lead us to living highly stressed and anxious lives.

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The body reacts to these changes and demands with physical, mental, and emotional responses. Internal and external stressors can have the same physical and psychological effects. You may have trouble sleeping, lose your appetite or lose interest in daily activities. You may be irritable, have headaches or stomach pains, or find that you cry easily.

If not dealt with, overtime stress can have a devastating impact on your physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing.

Managing Stress Positively

The good news is that not all stress is bad for us. Being stressed in the right context can have a more positive influence on our lives. Some people say that they produce their best work when they are under pressure to deliver.

When you are able to manage stress in a positive way, this can open you up to new opportunities outside of your comfort zone. It can also be the catalyst you need to change and empower you to come up with solutions and challenges so that you can grow and move forward in your life.

The 7 stress management techniques make up a tool box of strategies that you can use at any time where you are feeling stressed and want to get your life back on track. The more you use these tools, the more proactive you are in managing your stress levels. By managing your stress, you minimise the negative influence it can have on your quality of life.

1. Write Down 5 Benefits You Will Achieve When You Have Your Stress Under Control

When making change or implementing anything new in your life, it is important to identify the benefits for you. The 5 identified benefits become the incentives to encourage and motivate you to make the changes and take action. Once you have these 5 benefits written down, then ask yourself these 2 questions:

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  • “What is it the goal I want to achieve?’
  • ” What are the benefits I expect from achieving this goal?”

Write these responses on stick-it notes and put these notes in a place where every morning you see them.

2. Get To Know Who You Are And Give Yourself Some Slack

Spend some time getting to know you, your personality, your strengths, things you don’t like doing and things you do like doing. The objective of this exercise is to become more self-aware so that you can quickly identify what things in life stress you out, and how you can manage these activities so that they don’t have such a negative impact on your life.

When you know who you are and what is important to you, you will take action to manage the negative activities that are not serving you well.

We can be our own worst enemies and we can be very hard on ourselves, which is not great when it comes to managing stress in our lives. The more self aware you are, the more accepting you are of what your strengths are and what you are not so good at.

Striving for perfection in everything you do and comparing yourself to others will not be so important to you when you know who you are and you are very happy with you.

3. Exercise Regularly

This is a very practical strategy that works. A regular exercise routine in your life builds your physical resilience to manage stress. Your body can fight stress better when it is fit.

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Along with exercising regularly, eating healthy, well-balanced meals is just as important when it comes successfully managing the impact stress has on your life.

4. Learn And Practice Relaxation Techniques

“Research suggests that daily meditation may alter the brain’s neural pathways, making you more resilient to stress,” says psychologist Robbie Maller Hartman, PhD, a Chicago health and wellness coach.

Get enough rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events. Relaxation techniques you could try for stress management are meditation, yoga, or tai-chi. You will always be facing times of stress in your life and by relaxing and calming your mind you give your body time to recover from these stressful events.

5. Commit To Spending Time With People Who Make You Smile

The more stress we face, the more likely we are to withdraw from our circle of friends and family. Stress, if we allow it, can consume our lives physically, mentally and spiritually; and all we want to do is hide away from the world.

Surrounding yourself with people who bring you joy, encourage and support, you will build your spiritual and mental resilience.

Keep a positive outlook on life is a lot easier to do when you are surrounded by people who love and support you. Laughing out loud and smiling lots is a great way to manage the stress levels in your life. The more you laugh in life, the better your “quality of life” will be.

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6. Be Grateful

Keeping a daily gratitude journal is one of the most effective ways to successfully managing stress in your life. This act of writing down every day all the things that you are grateful for keeps you present and real. It gives you a more optimistic and hopeful perspective of your life right now.

To successfully manage stress in your life, optimism and hope are the two key ingredients that you need. Without them, your ability to effectively manage stress is a lot harder – in fact impossible!

7. Commit To Taking Action And Do It

If you allow stress to creep into your life, it will take over your life – physically, mentally and spiritually.

We live in a world of constant change and disruption, so we will always be challenged by the threat of stress.

Commit to taking action to managing the impact that stress has on your life, and do something about it. You are the only one who has the power to do it.

The Bottom Line

There is no escape from stress. These 7 stress management techniques, however, are strategies that if you adopt and practice consistently, will enable you to live your life to the fullest — resilient and strong in mind, body and soul.

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Featured photo credit: ALIAKSEI LEPIK via unsplash.com

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