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14 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

14 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

Some days are simply worse than others. A day can turn especially bad when you just feel as if you’re “not good enough” for anyone or anything. In other words, just “not good enough.” Here are a few things to remember when those feelings come around.

1. There Really Is More Right With You Than Is Wrong

Time for a little pep talk here. The truth of the matter is that while it may feel like it, you don’t screw up anymore than anyone else. Cut yourself some slack; you are as human as the rest of us and you need to remember that mistakes are part of life. Time to stop comparing yourself with others and live your best life.

2. Accept The “Now” And Move On

There is a certain power to accepting the circumstances and having the mind-set to carry on and move forward. Give yourself the gift of forgiving yourself from the mistake made, the stutter, or the stumble. Forgiveness begins at home and you really should accept the situation as a temporary one in order to move forward.

3. Be Gentle With Yourself

Max Ehrmann wrote, “Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.” Gentler, more honest words have ever, ever been written. Psychologists now claim that a shocking secret to success is indeed being kind to yourself. The secret is to value yourself as much as, but no more than, you do others.

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4. Focus On Progress Rather Than Perfection

People plagued with the ideal of perfectionism, believe it or not, is a stopping point. The attempt to be perfect, rather than driving you forward, is punishing and stops a forward momentum. Instead, focus on progress made in order to continue down the path of success. Certainly it is not easy, and it’s an issue that many struggle with. The fact is, that no one or thing is ever perfect.

5. Make A Decision To Stop Feeling Terrible

Shockingly, the decision not to perpetuate negative self-talk can be a boost and a boon to negative self-reflection. It takes the mind-set to believe that you are worthy of the challenge and in so being good enough to work through the situation, whatever it may be. In this way, you empower yourself to continue onward.

6. Stay Positive And Move Forward

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    This is indeed very difficult. It is so very easy to think only of the negative and stay down in the wicked rut. There really is power in positive thinking. Instead of the woulda-coulda-shoulda, think of the can do and will do. Positive thinking puts power in your mind to act instead of staying stuck mulling over the circumstance or the mistake made.

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    7. Try A Different Angle

    Need that passing grade? Or perhaps this is something that simply has to be done and cannot be ignored or move forward from. Maybe it is a task that has to be done, but you feel it is demeaning or degrading. That’s ok. Sometimes changing the way you think of a difficult task may be enough. Or use a different technique for getting the work done.

    8. Find A Way To Love Yourself

    The key to loving yourself is accepting yourself as you are. Of course, this does not mean not attempting to improve yourself. It does mean accepting yourself for who you are, accepting responsibility for the mistake you’ve made, and moving on. It is important not to stop from any one given mistake, but instead to keep going.

    9.  Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People

    There can only be one you, warts and all. The truth of the matter is that while we are acutely aware of our mistakes, we rarely see the mistakes of others. We do see their achievements and successes. And unless we live with them, we tend to see others only when they are at their best. No one can be at their best all day, every day. They make mistakes for better or worse, the same as anyone else.

    10. Learn To Appreciate What You Have

    Certainly you have more than some and less than others. It may help to keep in mind that some people do not have as much as you, even if you only have a little. Get to know someone who has less than you, through volunteering or simply talking with others you may not normally talk too. Practice gratitude by reaching out to the people who have been important in your life.

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    11. The Truth Is, Life Really Isn’t Fair

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      And such a cruel truth it is. People who don’t deserve a terminal illness get sick and die. Others have trouble follow them around like an unruly puppy. Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot you or anyone else can do about this reality. Get to know others and lean on them when possible. Talk with people who share the same burden to learn how to cope and to help you through life’s tasks.

      12. Some Things Are Not As They Appear

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        Due to the fact that we are really voyeur’s in other people’s lives, we have no idea how they have accomplished one thing or another. For example, one person may have the required experience for a job, while another had the right connections. The fact is, we do not know and have no way of knowing how a person is maneuvering through his or her life.

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        13. Change What You Can And Learn To Accept What Can’t Be Changed

        Take control of areas of your life when you can. A good place to start is how you problem-solve or think about a situation. You can control how a problem is approached and how you will deal with the problem. While nothing can change the past, there are steps you can take toward a brighter future. What are the goals you can begin today toward where you want to be?

        14. Don’t Forget To Get Started

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          It is very easy to simply stop forward momentum and dwell on all that has gone wrong. Make the commitment to change, whatever that change may be. Keep a journal as progress is made. In this way, you can physically see the progress being made. It is always a good thing to break the process into smaller steps while advancing toward a specific goal.

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          The Gentle Art of Saying No

          The Gentle Art of Saying No

          No!

          It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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          But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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          What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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          But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

          1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
          2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
          3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
          4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
          5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
          6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
          7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
          8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
          9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
          10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

          Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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