Advertising
Advertising

10 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Negative People

10 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Negative People

Do you want to be successful?

Do you want achieve great things in life and make all of your dreams come true?

Then one thing I think you have to be very careful about is deciding who you associate with in your life personally and professionally. What I have found is the most successful people that I’ve met have made it a rule to avoid negative people.

Here are 10 reasons why you should avoid negative people in your life.

Advertising

1. Negative people can affect your attitude

I’m now the author of 18 books, but when I first started writing I told anyone who would listen that the first goal was to write five books in three years. Friends and family were very encouraging, and told me that it was a great goal. Acquaintances however were quite a different story. Some of them said that I was being unrealistic, that I was setting the bar too high, and that writing five books in three years was nearly impossible. If I had chosen to listen to those negative people, or chosen to believe what they had to say, it would have affected my attitude about writing and my goals.

Negative people will discourage you and they will try to drag you down with them to the dark side. As Robert Tew once said, “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.”

2. Negative feedback from negative people affects your thinking

I’ve often said that negative people are ESV’s which stands for energy sucking vampires! The problem with negative people is if you hang around with them enough, and listen to them long enough, they start impacting your thinking, and you soon realize that instead of thinking positively you are thinking negatively. They are very stealth at this. Before you know it, you will find it can definitely impact the way that you think and change your belief system when it shouldn’t.

3. They are an energy drain

I have noticed that when I’m around positive people who are enthusiastic they raise other people’s energy levels. Negative people do the opposite; they tend to be an energy drain. I’ve seen some people walk into a room and the energy level goes up, and other people walk into a room and the energy level goes down. They suck the energy out.

Advertising

4. It damages your credibility

If you surround yourself with negative nasty naysayers, then you may not realize it but other people in your life will judge you by people that you associate with. If you hang around negative, small minded people it makes you look negative and small minded yourself. At one point in my life I had a business partner, who I worked on several projects with. For many reasons, I stopped doing work with him. After he stopped being my partner, several people said that they were surprised that I was ever doing business with them. Little did I know that my association with him was damaging my credibility.

5. Negative people won’t provide encouragement

Negative people are not only negative, they’re also great at discouraging you, and giving you negative feedback. They are so good at it they can make the negative sound like it makes sense. In life there’s going to be times when you are struggling or are facing adversity. What you need during those times is someone who will encourage you support you and convince you that it can be done, not someone who does the opposite. You need someone to lift you up not knock you down.

6. They are hard to get rid of

I meet many people as a professional speaker, and when we talk about negative people, they tell me that they do have a friend of theirs who is very negative that they have been friends with for years. When asked, they say they have been friends since high school, and that they would feel bad getting rid of them. I strongly encourage them to end the relationships with negative people because of the huge negative impact it’s having on their life. Yet they cling to that negative person because of a feeling of loyalty. As Hans F. Hanson once said “people inspire you or they drain you, pick them wisely.”

7. Life is too short

I don’t know about you, but life, I believe, is short, and I really do not want to spend my time being around negative, crabby, grumpy or grouchy people. They tend to make life miserable and I want to live a life of happiness. I want to live a quality life by being with quality people. So one of the ways of doing that is to limit my contact with negative people and to increase my contact with positive people, to bring me joy and happiness.

Advertising

8. Negative reinforcement versus positive reinforcement

Negative people will simply reinforce anything negative that you say, and give you all the reasons why you’re right in your negativity and toxic thinking. Positive people will tell you can do it, and will give you positive reinforcement which is what you need when you have doubts. Negative people will make you believe your doubts, while positive people will convince you that you’re wrong and that you can do it after all. As Joel Osteen once said “you cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life.”

9. They love drama

In the past in my life, I have had negative people who were friends. Often they would have many dramatic things going on in their life, and I would try to coach them, help them, and support them. I would give them advice which they said was great advice, and that they would definitely make changes. But guess what? About a month later out I would have breakfast with them, and discovered that they still had the same drama, and I came to realization that they relished and enjoyed it.

The negative people of the world thrive on drama and believe me- it’s not something you need in your life. On top of that, they want to involve you as a character in the drama .As Tony Gaskins once said “negative people need drama like oxygen, stay positive, it will take their breath away.”

10. You won’t grow

If you’re friends with negative people, they will revel in stagnation and negative thinking and they really do not want to grow. Because they don’t want to grow, they want to discourage you from growing as well. The only way to move forward in your life is to associate with people who are also moving forward and will help you move forward with yours. The positive person has their foot on the gas pedal, and the negative person has a foot on the brake.

Advertising

So in the end it is up to you to decide what kind of people you’re going to be friends with, and the kinds of people you’re going to spend your time with. I strongly recommend that if you have negative friends you should end the relationship. If you have negative family members, we should spend as little time with them as possible. I guarantee you that if you eliminate negative people from your life you will be more successful, far more productive and truly happy. As W. Clement Stone once said “there is little difference in people but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude the big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”

Featured photo credit: Isaiah Rustad via unsplash.com

More by this author

Shawn Doyle

Shawn is a certified professional speaker, author and an Executive and Life Coach.

10 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Negative People 12 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Don’t Do Differences Between People Who Run A Business And True Entrepreneurs

Trending in Communication

1 How to Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome and Be Happy Again 2 How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life 3 How to Live Your Best Life Starting Today 4 How to Not Take Things Personally for a Happier Life 5 How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

Advertising

Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

Advertising

To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

Advertising

By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

Advertising

7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next