Advertising
Advertising

10 Negative Thoughts We All Have And What We Should Think Instead

10 Negative Thoughts We All Have And What We Should Think Instead

I probably used to be one of the most negative people in the world. I felt like life was a continuous struggle and I had been dealt one of the worst hands, but what could I do? This is just life. Or so I thought.

I’ll never forget the first time I heard that the way I was talking to myself, directly influenced every aspect of my life. We can be our own worst enemy at times and our internal conversation can be extremely limiting. Like most people, I was blind to this somewhat obvious piece of information.

To say I felt like I had just won the lottery once I really understood this, was an understatement. Why? because suddenly I learned that the negative thoughts I had, weren’t facts at all, but instead self imposed limitations that I was putting on myself which I also had the power to remove.  Over the last decade, it has become very clear to me that most of us actually have very similar negative thoughts. Here are some of the most common negative thoughts we all have and what we should think instead.

1. I am not good enough

Have you ever thought that you weren’t good enough? When we feel that we aren’t good enough, we tend to drown in this emotion of self-doubt and pity. It really relates to a low self esteem, but the truth is, every one is good enough. You might not have the skills or tools to achieve what you want now, but you are certainly good enough and worthy of what you want.If you have a $10 note, and it falls on the floor into a puddle of mud, does that $10 lose value? Of course not! So why do you feel that you lose value based on what you have done in life. Don’t limit yourself, because everyone is good enough.

New Positive Thought – I am worthy of all I desire in this life, just like everyone else.

Advertising

2. I can’t do it

‘Can’t’ is one of the most limiting words that you can tell yourself. Henry Ford said. ‘Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.’ So if you tell yourself that you can’t, you are sending messages to your mind and brain that you can’t, and so that will be your experience. Your mind won’t try if you have already told it that it can’t.

New Positive Thought – ‘I can do whatever I put my mind to’

3. I’m not as lucky as other people

This thought normally comes from holding an illusion that other people’s lives are better and they are luckier and that is what separates you from them. ‘Perfect’ doesn’t exist, normally there is a lot of effort that goes behind that perceived ‘luck’. It is very dis-empowering to think that you will never have luck and it is simply not true.

New Positive Thought – Good things can happen to me too

4. I don’t think I’ll ever

Whatever you believe will become your reality, this is true.You shape your future every day by the choices you make and your habits. You can sabotage your opportunities by limiting your thoughts. What would it be like if you believe that you could do what you really desire and have the experiences you wish instead? It is not about getting it right the first time, but trying. Don’t stop yourself before you have even given yourself a chance.

Advertising

New Positive Thought – I am confident I will ….

5. I should be better than I am

Using the word ‘should’ in this context is really negative and makes one feel less than they are. How often do you find yourself saying ‘I should be move clever, more disciplined, more productive, etc than I am. Remember how you feel immediately afterwards? Not good I am sure. Rather set yourself goals for the things you are not happy with instead of telling yourself what you ‘should’ be like or be doing. Take action the things you wish to change and remove limiting modals from your vocabulary.

New Positive Thought – I am making an effort to change what I don’t like

6. I am not strong enough

It’s normal to feel that you are not strong enough at times. We are all human and I don’t know anyone on earth who doesn’t feel weak at times. What is important though, is the conversation you have with yourself afterwards. If you keep reinforcing the fact that you don’t feel strong, how can you expect to feel? Instead, tell yourself that you are strong enough and support yourself to find the strength you need in that moment.

New Positive Thought – I am strong enough to deal with this

Advertising

7. Nobody cares

It might feel that you are alone at times and that nobody cares, but I am convinced that there are people thinking about you that you don’t even know of. People do care, not everyone expresses their emotions in the same way. It isn’t nice feeling that nobody cares, so stop focusing on that and assuming what other people feel when you don’t actually know. Change your focus to something that makes you feel better instead.

New Positive Thought – People do care about me

8. I am not clever enough

This is a very general statement yet many people tend to say it often and then feel bad about themselves afterwards. What are you not clever at specifically? I bet, if I asked you to identify some areas that you are clever in, you could, if you really tried. Not everybody is clever and perfect in every area and this is what makes us all individual. If you feel that you are lacking in a certain area of knowledge, make time to study and learn whatever it is that you want so that you don’t feel this way any more.

New Positive Thought  – I am clever and I am studying xx to master this area as well

9. If I don’t do well, I am a failure

Holding high expectations for yourself and having conditions attached to your self worth on your performance isn’t fair. If you don’t try you will never know, you need to take chances in life if you want to get different results. Don’t be scared of failing, the real failure lies in never having tried.

Advertising

New Positive Thought  – I am going to try, I am not scared of failing, that is not what is important

10. Worst case scenario

Thinking negatively in general is thinking that whatever happens, it is most likely going to be the worst case scenario. What would it be like if you imagined the best case scenario instead? Our thoughts are very powerful and it’s common to use visualization as a technique to imagine the best case scenario. Whether you imagine the worst or the best case scenario, you are influencing your results. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen and rather on what you want to happen.

New Positive Thought  – The best will happen…

We all have negative thoughts from time to time, after all, we are human. When the majority of your thoughts are negative however, you are undermining your happiness at the end of the day. Our thoughts directly affect how we feel and therefore, what we do in life. Don’t limit yourself or what is possible for you, master your thoughts and change your results. Whatever you think, you are right!

More by this author

Kirstin O´Donovan

Certified Life and Productivity Coach, Founder and CEO of TopResultsCoaching

8 Dreadful Effects of Procrastination That Can Destroy Your Life 18 Best Time Management Apps and Tools (2020 Updated) How to Be More Productive: 4 Tiny Tweaks to Make How To Break the Procrastination Cycle Why To-Do Lists Don’t Work (And How to Change That)

Trending in Communication

1 What Is Resilience and Why Is It Important for Success? 2 15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life 3 How to Know Yourself and Seek Self Improvement 4 How to Deal With Mean People the Smart Way 5 How to Get Your Life Together When You Feel Overwhelmed

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 4, 2020

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

Self-improvement doesn’t have to be big mind-blowing changes; it can actually be simple steps to improve upon what you already have to get you where you want to be.  However, what you will need is consistency, determination and wiliness to try some things that will stretch and challenge you.

Rather than setting your sights way off into the future, which leaves you feeling like you’ll never make it, you can start following these simple and effective self-improvement steps today.  So if you want to make an immediate impact on your life and are willing to take action, then keep reading— you’ll going to love these!

1. Be willing to work hard.

As with anything in life, if you want something, you’ve got to work hard to get it.  This doesn’t mean you burn the candle at both ends, leaving you exhausted and leaving your personal life in ruins.  It merely means that when you want something badly enough, you’ll put in the time to get there.  Action is what’s important here and the more ‘inspired’ the action is, the better the results in the end.

2. Make sure you have friends who you can talk to.

Sharing the load is important as with any self-improvement. If you can communicate with others and get feedback on how you are doing then that’s great.  We all need ‘cheerleaders’ in our corner to keep us going when times get hard, but you also need to have people who will tell you how it is even when you don’t want to hear it.  So make sure you have a good support network around you, especially those people whose opinions you respect.

Advertising

3. Adapt to your circumstances rather than over-thinking them.

Sometimes, we can hit a hard period. Perhaps you’ve lost your job or your partner has left you.  Instead of over analyzing the situation, learn to adapt to your circumstances and accept them as they are.  It’s not about making your circumstances into some kind of a drama; remember, what you focus on expands which means you’ll get more of it.  You then don’t become your problems and you’ll feel a lot less burdened by them.

4. Ensure that you use your time wisely.

Time is of the essence, some might say; whilst others will say that time is an illusion.  One thing we do know is that you have one life on this planet, so how you use that time is of the utmost importance.  So how can you use your time wisely? Only you know how to do that, but look at how you currently spend your days: do you sit working all day, get home, eat and then sit slumped in front of the TV for the rest of the evening?  Your time on this earth is precious, so isn’t it time to make use of the time you have left? Try something new, go for a walk, learn a new language or meditate but make sure it’s something you absolutely love.

5. Always be consistent.

A wonderful way to self-improvement is to make changes to how you do things.  For example, with your friends, are you always the unreliable one who bows out of an arrangement just before it happens? Or are you someone who starts a new exercise routine and then stops doing it 3 weeks into it?  Whatever it is and whatever you do, always be consistent. When you make a commitment, stick to it. It will improve your life immeasurably you’ll feel more confident and happier with yourself, especially because you’ll know that whatever you tackle, you’ll be able to consistently do it!

6. Go and find your happy place.

No, I’m not saying “place” as in popping to your local bar or restaurant and gorging yourself on your favorite drinks or food. What I’m saying is to find out what you love to do, what makes you happy and go there.  Your happy place is a place where you find peace, where you lose yourself and feel contented.  Meditation is a great way to find your happy place; it brings you back to you and ensures that you are always living in the present moment.

Advertising

7. Make sure you embrace all your emotions.

In life you are going to find that it throws you some difficult challenges, sometimes it will bring out your fears and lead you into uncertainty, and other times it will be joyful.  It’s important to embrace all emotions that come up in your life, embrace them wholeheartedly and understand why they are there and then let them go.  Try not to dismiss or resist them because remember “what you resist, persists,” so embrace them each and every time.

8. Always be prepared to step out of your comfort zone.

The idea of stepping out of your comfort zone for some people can leave you paralyzed with fear; however for any changing in your life, your comfort zone will always have to be stepped out of.  It doesn’t have to be something big, like doing a sky-dive or something just as crazy. However, it’s worthwhile to change something that you’d once have feared, like going to the cinema on your own or eating at a sushi restaurant when the thought of trying raw fish which would normally mean you running for the hills.

So try something new—it doesn’t have to be wacky, but it has to challenge you!

9. Be on hand to help others.

Whether it’s helping a stranger on the street or a family member or a friend helping someone else either in their time of need, lending a helping hand is a wonderful and simple self-improvement to make.  Giving to others is not only beneficial to those you are helping but also to yourself; it can give you a sense of purpose, of contribution and also takes your mind of your own troubles and worries.

Advertising

10. Live in the present moment.

A wonderful self-improvement tool is to live in the present moment, to live in the now.  It is within this moment that you’ll appreciate all that you have and see the beauty in the simplest of things.  Being mindful of your current circumstances and bringing your mind back to where it belongs will bring about a happier way of life instead of constant worry or stressing about the past or future—both of which do not exist. Only the present moment exists. When you get used to living that way, you’ll never want to go back!

11. Learn something new.

There is nothing so liberating as learning something new; it can lift both your confidence and self-esteem and give you a great reason to meet new people.  If you continually top up your brain activity by learning something new all the time, you’ll feel on top of your game and want to share the knowledge you have learned. There is nothing quite so empowering as learning a new tool in life that can either improve your circle of friends or raise confidence levels—or both!

Reading is also a great way to help you learn something new:

12. Exercise daily.

This seems an obvious one, but exercise is so important not only to your health but also to your spirit.  We all know that after exercise, the world can feel a brighter and more positive place, so why don’t we do it more often?  Exercise isn’t about getting the perfect body or losing weight; it’s more about feeling good inside and out!  With a healthy body comes a healthy mind—so start something today. Even if it’s just a daily walk, it’s better than staying on that couch, again.

Advertising

13. Go to new places, travel a bit.

I’m not saying go fly off to some far away distant forgotten land—although you can if you so wish. It’s more about going to new places and experiencing life outside of your own back yard.  Too many of us stay in one place too often. We only see the same people, the same streets and do the same things each and every day.  If you want to improve your life, get out there and see the world and what it can offer.  You can start by going to a town or city you’ve never been to in your own country and checking out the architecture, the landscapes and the people.  Anything new is good, so get out there!

14. Listen to uplifting music and dance.

If there’s one thing that can really improve your life and get you excited about it, it’s listening to great uplifting music and dancing.  When was the last time you really let go?  Let it all hang loose and got into a piece of music and let yourself go?  Dancing, like exercise, makes you feel great. It releases all kinds of emotions and can make you feel unbelievably good.  Self-improvement isn’t all about the serious stuff; it can be something as simple as finding new music, music that inspires you and makes you dance and have fun!

15. Get up earlier than normal.

This is the last one, and it’s last because it’s one of those self-improvement tips that we all know is a good thing, yet we seem to avoid it at all costs!  If you think about it, the earliest part of the day is when your brain is most active because it’s been turned off for the last 7 hours or so.  So don’t you think it’s best to get all those things above done in the morning?  Things like exercise, meditation and dancing, which can all be done in the first part of the day.  Take it from me: this early morning stuff can really get your day started with a bang!

More on Self-Improvement

Featured photo credit: Laura Chouette via unsplash.com

Read Next