Advertising
Advertising

10 Negative Thoughts We All Have And What We Should Think Instead

10 Negative Thoughts We All Have And What We Should Think Instead

I probably used to be one of the most negative people in the world. I felt like life was a continuous struggle and I had been dealt one of the worst hands, but what could I do? This is just life. Or so I thought.

I’ll never forget the first time I heard that the way I was talking to myself, directly influenced every aspect of my life. We can be our own worst enemy at times and our internal conversation can be extremely limiting. Like most people, I was blind to this somewhat obvious piece of information.

To say I felt like I had just won the lottery once I really understood this, was an understatement. Why? because suddenly I learned that the negative thoughts I had, weren’t facts at all, but instead self imposed limitations that I was putting on myself which I also had the power to remove.  Over the last decade, it has become very clear to me that most of us actually have very similar negative thoughts. Here are some of the most common negative thoughts we all have and what we should think instead.

1. I am not good enough

Have you ever thought that you weren’t good enough? When we feel that we aren’t good enough, we tend to drown in this emotion of self-doubt and pity. It really relates to a low self esteem, but the truth is, every one is good enough. You might not have the skills or tools to achieve what you want now, but you are certainly good enough and worthy of what you want.If you have a $10 note, and it falls on the floor into a puddle of mud, does that $10 lose value? Of course not! So why do you feel that you lose value based on what you have done in life. Don’t limit yourself, because everyone is good enough.

New Positive Thought – I am worthy of all I desire in this life, just like everyone else.

Advertising

2. I can’t do it

‘Can’t’ is one of the most limiting words that you can tell yourself. Henry Ford said. ‘Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.’ So if you tell yourself that you can’t, you are sending messages to your mind and brain that you can’t, and so that will be your experience. Your mind won’t try if you have already told it that it can’t.

New Positive Thought – ‘I can do whatever I put my mind to’

3. I’m not as lucky as other people

This thought normally comes from holding an illusion that other people’s lives are better and they are luckier and that is what separates you from them. ‘Perfect’ doesn’t exist, normally there is a lot of effort that goes behind that perceived ‘luck’. It is very dis-empowering to think that you will never have luck and it is simply not true.

New Positive Thought – Good things can happen to me too

4. I don’t think I’ll ever

Whatever you believe will become your reality, this is true.You shape your future every day by the choices you make and your habits. You can sabotage your opportunities by limiting your thoughts. What would it be like if you believe that you could do what you really desire and have the experiences you wish instead? It is not about getting it right the first time, but trying. Don’t stop yourself before you have even given yourself a chance.

Advertising

New Positive Thought – I am confident I will ….

5. I should be better than I am

Using the word ‘should’ in this context is really negative and makes one feel less than they are. How often do you find yourself saying ‘I should be move clever, more disciplined, more productive, etc than I am. Remember how you feel immediately afterwards? Not good I am sure. Rather set yourself goals for the things you are not happy with instead of telling yourself what you ‘should’ be like or be doing. Take action the things you wish to change and remove limiting modals from your vocabulary.

New Positive Thought – I am making an effort to change what I don’t like

6. I am not strong enough

It’s normal to feel that you are not strong enough at times. We are all human and I don’t know anyone on earth who doesn’t feel weak at times. What is important though, is the conversation you have with yourself afterwards. If you keep reinforcing the fact that you don’t feel strong, how can you expect to feel? Instead, tell yourself that you are strong enough and support yourself to find the strength you need in that moment.

New Positive Thought – I am strong enough to deal with this

Advertising

7. Nobody cares

It might feel that you are alone at times and that nobody cares, but I am convinced that there are people thinking about you that you don’t even know of. People do care, not everyone expresses their emotions in the same way. It isn’t nice feeling that nobody cares, so stop focusing on that and assuming what other people feel when you don’t actually know. Change your focus to something that makes you feel better instead.

New Positive Thought – People do care about me

8. I am not clever enough

This is a very general statement yet many people tend to say it often and then feel bad about themselves afterwards. What are you not clever at specifically? I bet, if I asked you to identify some areas that you are clever in, you could, if you really tried. Not everybody is clever and perfect in every area and this is what makes us all individual. If you feel that you are lacking in a certain area of knowledge, make time to study and learn whatever it is that you want so that you don’t feel this way any more.

New Positive Thought  – I am clever and I am studying xx to master this area as well

9. If I don’t do well, I am a failure

Holding high expectations for yourself and having conditions attached to your self worth on your performance isn’t fair. If you don’t try you will never know, you need to take chances in life if you want to get different results. Don’t be scared of failing, the real failure lies in never having tried.

Advertising

New Positive Thought  – I am going to try, I am not scared of failing, that is not what is important

10. Worst case scenario

Thinking negatively in general is thinking that whatever happens, it is most likely going to be the worst case scenario. What would it be like if you imagined the best case scenario instead? Our thoughts are very powerful and it’s common to use visualization as a technique to imagine the best case scenario. Whether you imagine the worst or the best case scenario, you are influencing your results. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen and rather on what you want to happen.

New Positive Thought  – The best will happen…

We all have negative thoughts from time to time, after all, we are human. When the majority of your thoughts are negative however, you are undermining your happiness at the end of the day. Our thoughts directly affect how we feel and therefore, what we do in life. Don’t limit yourself or what is possible for you, master your thoughts and change your results. Whatever you think, you are right!

More by this author

Kirstin O´Donovan

Certified Life and Productivity Coach, Founder and CEO of TopResultsCoaching

20 Inspiring Vision Statement Examples (2020 Updated) 18 Best Time Management Apps and Tools (2020 Updated) How to Be More Productive: 4 Tiny Tweaks to Make Why To-Do Lists Don’t Work (And How to Change That) How To Control Your Emotions Effectively

Trending in Communication

1 How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them 2 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again 3 12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life 4 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 5 How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

Advertising

1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

Advertising

“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

Advertising

3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

Advertising

6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

More on Motivation

Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

Read Next