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Published on May 15, 2019

11 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

11 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

Have you battled against the feeling of worthlessness? Irrespective of whatever a situation demands, are you not feeling good enough?

If you do, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone. In fact, we’re all in this together.

I strongly feel every individual encounter this phase when life asks extremely tough questions. And just because we cannot answer every unpredictable question, most of us develop a feeling of hopelessness.

But don’t you think enjoying favorable situations and surrendering to the unfavorable ones is an intriguing question on your mental toughness?

To your surprise:

These testing times are essential for your transformation into a stronger and positive individual.

Or else, life just goes on sans any exploration, with no excitement.

Straightforward, feeling not good enough about yourself can make you or break you. I’m sure you want to make your way ripping those dark clouds hovering over you. Are you pumped up for the challenge? Here’re 11 things to do when you think you’re not good enough:

1. Stop Comparing and Competing with Others

Everyone is wired differently. But the problem with most of us is in the quest to become everyone else, we lose our originality.

With that, we lose an integral quality – Self Love.[1]

The never-ending comparison with people is destructive enough to evoke a sense of worthlessness. So please stop killing your uniqueness to become like others because you cannot: The More We Compare, the More We Lose Ourselves.

Let us avert any competition with others so that we bring out the best in us. This way, you’ll surely prevent yourself from surrendering to your lows.

2. Recall Your past Achievements and Credentials

If you can feel you are not good enough, trust me, you are capable enough to feel proud about yourself. Any positive emotion from your memory book can uplift your mind state and rejuvenate you.

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Better said than done, I know it’s difficult to think positive under the influence of negativity. But it is just an initiation which is required to creates a strong base for your rescue. Be it the smallest thing, any sense of your past accomplishment negates the feeling of uselessness.

So just switch on your positive reminders. It’s the perfect antidote.

3. Deactivate the Thinking Mode for Some Time

Fortunately, this isn’t as hard as it sounds. The mind is a powerful thing, and in a nanosecond, it can elevate or crush our mood because of the beliefs lurking behind our feelings.

So whenever you think you are not good enough, remember it is just the frequency and quality of thoughts which needs to change, not you.

Everyone encounters these hard times where you can’t do much to change it. The best approach is letting this phase pass without overthinking.

So – next time you think you are not good enough; remind yourself to stop thinking!

4. Express out the Negativity

Not only positive emotions, expressing negative emotions is imperative. It is the quickest way to unburden oneself from the misery of feeling not good enough.

Simply put, whenever you sense something is not right around or inside you; speak out! It might require valiant courage in the beginning. Sink into your mind that all it takes is one bold step.

As soon as you speak out, you’ll feel not only it offloads the feel of worthlessness but also reboots your confidence and esteem.

Sometimes, it is better to say no than to say yes and be crushed under the stress of possibly producing a poor product or disappointing the requestor.[2]

5. Choose the Right Person with Whom You Share Your Lows

This is important or it can sink you further. You just cannot unveil your pure unfiltered emotions in front of everyone.

That’s because when you are expecting a shoulder to lean on which is not there on offer, the effects of feeling useless may intensify and aggravate your pain.

So make sure you are flush out feelings of your hard times to one who knows you well; the one you can trust upon.

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But please make sure you share. You may not get the right advice but surely the strength to let go the tough times.

6. Any Act of Compassion Can Rejuvenate You

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.[3]

Yes… one of the best ways of reviving back your higher self is by uplifting others. When you fulfill the emotional or financial needs of others, not only does it bring a smile on their face, but also make you feel content.

Don’t believe me? try it!

Whenever you feel not good enough about yourself, follow compassion.

Never hold back if you are efficient enough to suffice people’s life anyway. Any such act is sufficiently powerful to provide an instant high you are seeking.

7. Focus on the Process Than on the Results

Do you frequently think about the possessions attached to success before achieving?

It is a common syndrome with many people in this fast-paced materialistic world. We think about the name, fame, luxury attached to success so much that when we come back to reality, it leads to frustration and impatience. We simply lose focus which adversely affects the execution of the process.

Why? Your mind refuses to endure because it has tasted success in imagination. Then, insecurity seeps in to provoke a thought you are not good enough.

Wondering what to do? Resist the temptation of overthinking about success by developing self control.

You also need to understand it is normal and happens with almost every individual. Don’t be hard on yourself and take a break. It is just a matter of time you will be back on track.

8. Work-Out to Experience the Liveliness

Feeling not good enough? Most of the times, a small workout session is all you need to push yourself back to life.

Any form of exercise not only detoxifies your body but also releases happy hormones in mind. You don’t need to hit the gym every time; there are many exercises to help you stay on track from home.

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A healthy body and mind is the best combination to recover from your lows speedily. Don’t just think… start!

9. Stop Fulfilling the Undue Expectations of People

Are you always trying to fulfill others’ expectations on you?

If yes, you are digging your own grave. Not only you’ll lose people, but you’ll also your individuality.

Ever wondered how long will you be able to sustain?

Not long enough!

If it continues, you won’t be able to respect your priorities. It is bound to evoke the feeling of uselessness.

To get rid of it, showcase your nudity by yourself than to live in fear of getting exposed by people.[4]

I’m sure you cannot deny everyone’s expectations on you but be clear about the difference between taking the essential responsibilities and being others’ puppet.

10. Stop Believing in Social Media Profiles

How often do you see a smiling picture posted in social media? Can you identify the broken hearts behind that smile though?

Never — and this is where you miss your mark.

The irony is whenever you feel not good about yourself, most of us sub-consciously spend a long time over the phone scrolling the social media. Those deceptive smiles are all over you and a sense of comparison follows.

Please stop now! Use social media wisely. Don’t allow it to ruin your thoughts.

11. Stop Criticizing Life and Start Appreciating It

Are you blessed with basic necessities of life needed to qualify for happiness- food, clothing, and shelter?

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If you are this fortunate, you are over most of the world’s population.

So whenever you think you are not good enough, just stop there and appreciate your life for all the blessings it bestows you.

Yes… thankfulness is what is needed to beat the blues! It enables you to see the bigger picture. And you adapt to the demanding situations better.

Always remember:

Only when you accept the lows, your positive attitude will deal with it better.

Final Thoughts

All of life is peaks and valleys. Don’t let the peaks get too high and the valleys too low. -John Wooden

My friend, look at the positive side! You are one brave individual has the guts to accept something is wrong with you. Not only that, you are ready to fix it.

If you are not feeling good enough, that means your feeling quotient is working fine. And that’s great!

The only concern is the uncontrollable negative thoughts that drive you away from positivity. What you need to do is slow down the thinking process and gradually revive back your positive self.

Always remember:

Whenever you feel down under, you need to handle yourself with extra love and care.

Nothing is permanent, this too shall pass.

Take this as an opportunity because when you think you are at the brink of losing, it is actually the beginning calling!

More Articles to Give You a Motivation Boost

Featured photo credit: Ivan Karasev via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] tiny buddha: What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself
[2] Dumb Little Man: The Courage To Say No
[3] Great Good Magazine: What Is Compassion?
[4] Happy Realization: Either you are nude or naked; know the difference?

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Amanpreet Singh

Amanpreet Singh is a soulful blogger by passion and a mindful businessman by profession. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves sharing his experiences from the inner world.

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Published on November 20, 2019

14 Personal Goals for a Better You Next Year

14 Personal Goals for a Better You Next Year

Personal goal setting starts with having a destination in mind.

If you don’t know where you’re going, why bother moving forward? You’ll just get more lost or find yourself back where you started again.

“If you don’t know where you’re going, every road will take you there.”- Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland

You have to have a destination of who you want to become in order to get there.

Personal goals will be easier to make if you know where you want to go.

You must start with how to get there and break down the steps. These steps must be realistic.

That doesn’t mean you can’t dream big; in fact,

“Shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you’ll still land among the stars.”

Dream big no matter what but be realistic at the same time. Be open to detours, too.

According to Action for Happiness[1], ways to make goals include deciding on goals, writing steps down, telling someone about it and plan out each step.

Here I will outline 14 personal goals that can help you become a better you:

1. Live Authentically

You don’t have time to be living your life as someone else. All you can do is be yourself. You must choose to be who you really are. That’s the best way to live.

Being yourself is not easy though. It requires dedication to your values and dreams. You won’t be able to be authentic without losing your fear of what others think of you.

There’s only one way to be successful in this life and it’s if you do it for the right reasons. It’s if you choose yourself. It’s not until you find that you will be free.

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Get inspired by my other article: How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

2. Take Time for You in Self-Care Prioritization

Self-care is not something you should take for granted. Often, we don’t prioritize it well enough. Some examples include finding time for yourself, do things that make you feel good. Get dietary advice to eat healthy and exercise to improve your health.

Take a break. Go outside. Relax. Read a book or watch a good movie with someone you love. It’s about rewarding yourself with your joys and hobbies.

You can find more examples here: 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Self-care is not selfish. It’s important to find time for yourself so that you CAN give more of yourself to the areas of life you need to. You deserve it. You are worth it. Remember that.

3. Don’t Take Things Personally

The less you are concerned with others, the more you can focus on doing what matters most to you. What others say does not reflect the real you. It is just their perception, which may not be the full picture or the truth.

People who try to hurt you are not happy.

“Happy people don’t try to bring other people down.” – Anonymous.

That’s why it’s just not worth holding on to their words.

When you refuse to take things personally, it’s because you know who you are.

4: Decide What You Stand for

4. Decide to Be Who You Are Meant to Be

Look for things you are passionate about. Advocate to make yourself and others heard. Join groups that support your beliefs.

“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”- Anonymous.

So, decide what you value and what you stand for. Then, you can do anything.

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Take a look at this guide if you aren’t sure what you’re passionate about: How to Find Your Passion and Live a Fulfilling Life

5. Find the Silver Lining

Find happiness in any situation by finding the silver lining. You can decide to be happy because of the good you find. You must choose to look at the good.

People often think about the bad first, and they dwell on it. It’s human nature, but if you can look for the good or the silver lining, you will be happier for it.

You can learn from any situation or use any situation to better yourself or humanity. Take that and you will overcome it all.

6. Do Something Good for Someone

Instead of just focusing on your problems, do good for someone. It will not only take your mind off what problems you have, but also help you see that you are capable of doing good — right, you still have things to offer.

There are many opportunities to do good. Volunteering, checking on a friend or family member, get involved in a project that serves your community, etc.

The more good you do, the better you will feel.

7. Practice Daily Positive Self Talk

Every day is a new day. The way you talk to yourself is how you can ensure you build resilience and endurance through any challenge.

Here are some positive self talk examples:

“Things may have not gone my way but I can see the good in the situation still.”

“At least I am alive. I have my health, my abilities and the opportunities to use what I have for good.”

“I am worthwhile.”

“I can do it.”

Even more here: 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life

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The more you practice positive self talk, the more you will overcome and accomplish.

8. Surrender, When Necessary

When you surrender, you give in to the current rather than fight against it. It means you value inner peace most of all. You don’t sacrifice your inner peace for anything. You know your worth, and you are willing to see how a situation unfolds. You don’t try to force solutions either.

Instead of forcing solutions, you allow the best ones to come forth. You also know how to use what you have. You don’t fight against your situation. You instead use it.

When you surrender, you are accepting what is. This makes it easier to move forward.

9. Ask for Help in One Area of Your Life

We are often taught that needing help is a sign of weakness but it is actually a sign of strength. It’s developing skills that you might not be as well versed in. It’s developing mentor/mentee relationships to help you succeed.

Success is subjective to every individual. When you are developing yourself, you need others’ input. You need help to be who you are meant to be.

There is no shame in asking for help. Asking for help instead opens doors for you that you may not have been able to open yourself.

10. Never Stop Learning

Learning is meant to be lifelong. You can follow your interests, and everything is a “Internet Search Engine” away. But how to really commit to this? Take another class, sign up for a workshop, read books on the subject of interest, develop new hobbies…

In Success Magazine,[2] Ramit Sethi, author of I Will Teach You to Be Rich suggests 3 techniques to never stop learning:

“1. Embrace the Mind of a Child.
2. Put yourself in the hands of a trusted teacher.
3. Read, read, read.” Overall, be responsible for your own growth in life.

You are never too old to learn something new. Start today.

11. Set Boundaries and Say No When Appropriate

Having boundaries can feel uncomfortable because we are telling others what we do not accept. It is also necessary for healthy relationships. You will use them to protect yourself, your heart and your mind.

No one can make you do anything. If you are uncomfortable with something, you have a right to say no. Those who truly care about you will not be offended. You are also setting the bar high, or setting an example for others who are too scared to have boundaries too.

You will make better choices if you have better boundaries: How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

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12. Follow Your Gut

Trust your instincts. They are trying to tell you what to trust in.

You may not want to do something but feel pressured to do it. Your gut is the one speaking to you, telling you not to do it if you don’t want to. It can save you from many things, for example preventing you from making poor choices.

When you follow your gut, you preserve your interests and secure yourself.

13. Do What You Love

Are you doing what you love? You must choose what you can’t live without. Don’t sacrifice that for anything. Life is too short.

Your best also comes out when you are doing what you love. You can give more, do more if you’re happy with what you are doing.

So, do what you love. Don’t question it: Why You Should Always Do What You Love (And How to Do It)

14. Appreciate What You Have

Good Deeds Day defines gratitude as,[3]

“Gratitude allows us to recognize good in our lives. Focusing and appreciating the good in our lives constantly reminds us about the great things all around us… Gratitude allows us to see that the sources of that good are usually close by. Practicing gratitude allows us to recognize those who bring goodness into our lives and humbles us in order to give credit to those we are grateful for.”

At the end of the day, you need to recognize what you do have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. You must choose gratitude as your attitude in order to live a happier, better life. You will win then.

Counting your blessings everyday will help you bring in more blessings. You are limitless. You will overcome more too if you have that positive perspective.

Appreciating what you have starts with the simple things in life. Recognize what’s working. Find your reason to hold on. And then change the world.

Here’re 32 Things You Should Be Grateful For if you need some reminders.

Final Thoughts

Goal setting is about finding what will better yourself and lead you to happiness. You will find peace with yourself when you are on the right path.

You have to make the decision to make the best of everything, and you have to remember what really matters. Your goals will shape you for the rest of your life.

Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Anika Huizinga via unsplash.com

Reference

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