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Last Updated on November 27, 2020

10 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

10 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

Have you battled against feelings of worthlessness? Irrespective of whatever a situation demands, are you feeling not good enough, like you’re falling short?

If you do, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone. In fact, we’re all in this together.

I strongly feel every individual encounters this phase when life asks extremely tough questions. And just because we cannot answer every unpredictable question, most of us develop a feeling of hopelessness.

However, these trying times are essential for your transformation into a stronger and more positive individual.

Feeling not good enough can make you or break you. I’m sure you want to make your way ripping those dark clouds hovering over you. Are you pumped up for the challenge?

Here are 11 things to do when you think you’re not good enough.

1. Stop Comparing and Competing

Everyone is wired differently. But the problem with most of us is that, in the quest to become like everyone else, we lose our originality.

With that, we lose an integral quality: self-love[1].

The never-ending comparison with people can evoke a sense of worthlessness, especially today when social media feeds are full of amazing photos to compare out lives to. However, these tidbits don’t represent the complexities of life.

One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[2]. The more you compare, the worse you feel.

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Take a moment to admire the great things in your own life, and only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

2. Recall Your Past Achievements

If you can feel you are not good enough, trust me, you are capable enough to feel proud of yourself. Any positive emotion from your memory book can uplift your mind and rejuvenate you.

Be it the smallest thing, any sense of your past accomplishments will help negate the feeling of uselessness.

Switch on your positive reminders. It’s the perfect antidote.

3. Deactivate the Thinking Mode for Some Time

Fortunately, this isn’t as hard as it sounds. The mind is a powerful thing, and in a nanosecond, it can elevate or crush your mood because of the beliefs lurking behind your feelings.

When you think you are not good enough, remember it is just the frequency and quality of thoughts that need to change, not you.

Everyone encounters these hard times where you can’t do much to change things. The best approach is letting this phase pass without overthinking.

Instead of thinking and worrying, do something to take your mind off the negative thoughts. It could be exercise, painting, reading, or talking with a friend. Find what works for you.

4. Express the Negativity

Expressing negative emotions is imperative. It is the quickest way to unburden yourself from the misery of feeling not good enough.

Simply put, whenever you sense something is not right around or inside you, speak out! It might require valiant courage in the beginning.

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If you don’t have someone around to speak out, write out your negative feelings in a journal. This is another way to offload the thoughts that are causing you problems.

5. Choose the Right Person to Share Your Lows

You just cannot unveil your pure unfiltered emotions in front of everyone. This involves a level of vulnerability that demands trust and safety.

When you are expecting a shoulder to lean on that is not there, the effects of feeling useless may intensify and aggravate your pain, so this choice must be a careful one.

Make sure you flush out feelings of your hard times to one who knows you well. You may not get the advice you’re looking for, but you may get the strength to go through the tough times if you know you have a support system behind you.

6. Offer an Act of Compassion

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering[3].

Yes, one of the best ways of reviving your higher self is by uplifting others. When you fulfill the emotional or financial needs of others, not only does it bring a smile to their face, but it also makes you feel content.

Don’t believe me? Try it!

Whenever you’re feeling like you’re not good enough, follow compassion. Try out some of the ideas below if you don’t know where to start[4]:

If you're feeling like you're not good enough, practice kindness.

    7. Focus on the Process Rather Than the Results

    Do you frequently think about the possessions attached to success before achieving something?

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    It is a common syndrome with many people in this fast-paced, materialistic world. We think about the name, fame, and luxury attached to success so much that when we come back to reality, it leads to frustration and impatience. We simply lose focus that adversely affects the execution of the process.

    Why? Your mind refuses to endure because it has tasted success in imagination. Then, insecurity seeps in to provoke the thought that you are not good enough.

    Wondering what to do? Resist the temptation to overthink success by developing self-control.

    8. Work out to Experience Liveliness

    Feeling not good enough? Most of the time, a small workout session is all you need to push yourself back to life.

    Any form of exercise not only detoxifies your body but also releases happy hormones in our mind. You don’t need to hit the gym every time; there are many exercises to help you stay on track from home.

    A healthy body and mind is the best combination to recover from your lows speedily.

    9. Stop Fulfilling the Undue Expectations of People

    Are you always trying to fulfill others’ expectations of you? Most of us have been doing this for a long time.

    If yes, you are digging your own grave. Not only will you lose people, but you’ll also lose your individuality. If it continues, you won’t be able to respect your priorities. It is bound to evoke the feeling of uselessness.

    Learn to say no to expectations and, instead, follow your own path with the people who accept it[5].

    10. Stop Criticizing Life and Start Appreciating It

    Are you blessed with the basic necessities of life needed to qualify for happiness—food, clothing, and shelter?

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    If you are this fortunate, you are ahead of most of the world’s population. So, whenever you think you are not good enough, just stop and appreciate your life for all the blessings it bestows on you.

    A healthy sense of gratitude enables you to see the bigger picture, and you adapt to demanding situations better.

    If you’re not sure how to develop a gratitude practice, check out this article.

    Final Thoughts

    “All of life is peaks and valleys. Don’t let the peaks get too high and the valleys too low.” -John Wooden

    Look on the bright side! You are one brave individual who has the guts to accept that something isn’t quite right. Not only that, but you are also ready to fix it.

    If you are not feeling good enough, that means your feeling quotient is working fine. And that’s great!

    The only concern is the uncontrollable negative thoughts that drive you away from positivity. What you need to do is slow down the thinking process and gradually revive your positive self.

    Always remember:

    Whenever you feel down, you need to handle yourself with extra love and care.

    More on What to Do When Feeling Not Good Enough

    Featured photo credit: Ivan Karasev via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] tiny buddha: What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself
    [2] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social Comparison, Social Media, and Self-Esteem
    [3] Greater Good Magazine: What Is Compassion?
    [4] Blessing Manifesting: 56 Random Acts of Kindness Ideas
    [5] Happy Realization: Either you are nude or naked; know the difference?

    More by this author

    Amanpreet Singh

    Amanpreet Singh is a soulful blogger by passion and a mindful businessman by profession.

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    Last Updated on March 2, 2021

    10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

    10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

    The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

    In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

    Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success.

    1. Become Aware of What’s Outside of Your Comfort Zone

    What are the things that you believe are worth doing but, are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

    Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts but, your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

    2. Become Clear About What You Are Aiming to Overcome

    Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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    How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

    Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your look? Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

    3. Get Comfortable with Discomfort

    One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

    Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

    Here’re some tips to help you: How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change for a Better Self

    4. See Failure as a Teacher

    Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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    Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

    Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Check out these 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On.

    Also, grab The Foolproof Guide To Reaching Your Goals This Year. It’s a free guide that can help you to learn from your past mistakes and failures so you can move on to reach your goal. Get your free guide here.

    5. Take Baby Steps

    Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

    Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

    Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps: The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

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    6. Hang out with Risk Takers

    There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. Almost inevitably, their influence will start to have an effect on your behavior.

    Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful.

    7. Be Honest with Yourself When You Are Trying to Make Excuses

    Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

    Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

    8. Identify How Stepping out Will Benefit You

    What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

    9. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

    Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

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    If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

    10. Focus on the Fun

    Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

    Final Thoughts

    It will seem really scary at first to get out of your comfort zone. But as I said, you don’t need to jump right out of your comfort zone at once, you can take baby steps gradually.

    As you slowly push past your comfort zone, you’ll feel more and more at ease about the new stuff which seemed so dangerous to you.

    Take the first step and I’m sure you’ll make it!

    More Tips to Help You Face Your Fear

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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