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Published on May 15, 2019

11 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

11 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

Have you battled against the feeling of worthlessness? Irrespective of whatever a situation demands, are you not feeling good enough?

If you do, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone. In fact, we’re all in this together.

I strongly feel every individual encounter this phase when life asks extremely tough questions. And just because we cannot answer every unpredictable question, most of us develop a feeling of hopelessness.

But don’t you think enjoying favorable situations and surrendering to the unfavorable ones is an intriguing question on your mental toughness?

To your surprise:

These testing times are essential for your transformation into a stronger and positive individual.

Or else, life just goes on sans any exploration, with no excitement.

Straightforward, feeling not good enough about yourself can make you or break you. I’m sure you want to make your way ripping those dark clouds hovering over you. Are you pumped up for the challenge? Here’re 11 things to do when you think you’re not good enough:

1. Stop Comparing and Competing with Others

Everyone is wired differently. But the problem with most of us is in the quest to become everyone else, we lose our originality.

With that, we lose an integral quality – Self Love.[1]

The never-ending comparison with people is destructive enough to evoke a sense of worthlessness. So please stop killing your uniqueness to become like others because you cannot: The More We Compare, the More We Lose Ourselves.

Let us avert any competition with others so that we bring out the best in us. This way, you’ll surely prevent yourself from surrendering to your lows.

2. Recall Your past Achievements and Credentials

If you can feel you are not good enough, trust me, you are capable enough to feel proud about yourself. Any positive emotion from your memory book can uplift your mind state and rejuvenate you.

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Better said than done, I know it’s difficult to think positive under the influence of negativity. But it is just an initiation which is required to creates a strong base for your rescue. Be it the smallest thing, any sense of your past accomplishment negates the feeling of uselessness.

So just switch on your positive reminders. It’s the perfect antidote.

3. Deactivate the Thinking Mode for Some Time

Fortunately, this isn’t as hard as it sounds. The mind is a powerful thing, and in a nanosecond, it can elevate or crush our mood because of the beliefs lurking behind our feelings.

So whenever you think you are not good enough, remember it is just the frequency and quality of thoughts which needs to change, not you.

Everyone encounters these hard times where you can’t do much to change it. The best approach is letting this phase pass without overthinking.

So – next time you think you are not good enough; remind yourself to stop thinking!

4. Express out the Negativity

Not only positive emotions, expressing negative emotions is imperative. It is the quickest way to unburden oneself from the misery of feeling not good enough.

Simply put, whenever you sense something is not right around or inside you; speak out! It might require valiant courage in the beginning. Sink into your mind that all it takes is one bold step.

As soon as you speak out, you’ll feel not only it offloads the feel of worthlessness but also reboots your confidence and esteem.

Sometimes, it is better to say no than to say yes and be crushed under the stress of possibly producing a poor product or disappointing the requestor.[2]

5. Choose the Right Person with Whom You Share Your Lows

This is important or it can sink you further. You just cannot unveil your pure unfiltered emotions in front of everyone.

That’s because when you are expecting a shoulder to lean on which is not there on offer, the effects of feeling useless may intensify and aggravate your pain.

So make sure you are flush out feelings of your hard times to one who knows you well; the one you can trust upon.

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But please make sure you share. You may not get the right advice but surely the strength to let go the tough times.

6. Any Act of Compassion Can Rejuvenate You

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.[3]

Yes… one of the best ways of reviving back your higher self is by uplifting others. When you fulfill the emotional or financial needs of others, not only does it bring a smile on their face, but also make you feel content.

Don’t believe me? try it!

Whenever you feel not good enough about yourself, follow compassion.

Never hold back if you are efficient enough to suffice people’s life anyway. Any such act is sufficiently powerful to provide an instant high you are seeking.

7. Focus on the Process Than on the Results

Do you frequently think about the possessions attached to success before achieving?

It is a common syndrome with many people in this fast-paced materialistic world. We think about the name, fame, luxury attached to success so much that when we come back to reality, it leads to frustration and impatience. We simply lose focus which adversely affects the execution of the process.

Why? Your mind refuses to endure because it has tasted success in imagination. Then, insecurity seeps in to provoke a thought you are not good enough.

Wondering what to do? Resist the temptation of overthinking about success by developing self control.

You also need to understand it is normal and happens with almost every individual. Don’t be hard on yourself and take a break. It is just a matter of time you will be back on track.

8. Work-Out to Experience the Liveliness

Feeling not good enough? Most of the times, a small workout session is all you need to push yourself back to life.

Any form of exercise not only detoxifies your body but also releases happy hormones in mind. You don’t need to hit the gym every time; there are many exercises to help you stay on track from home.

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A healthy body and mind is the best combination to recover from your lows speedily. Don’t just think… start!

9. Stop Fulfilling the Undue Expectations of People

Are you always trying to fulfill others’ expectations on you?

If yes, you are digging your own grave. Not only you’ll lose people, but you’ll also your individuality.

Ever wondered how long will you be able to sustain?

Not long enough!

If it continues, you won’t be able to respect your priorities. It is bound to evoke the feeling of uselessness.

To get rid of it, showcase your nudity by yourself than to live in fear of getting exposed by people.[4]

I’m sure you cannot deny everyone’s expectations on you but be clear about the difference between taking the essential responsibilities and being others’ puppet.

10. Stop Believing in Social Media Profiles

How often do you see a smiling picture posted in social media? Can you identify the broken hearts behind that smile though?

Never — and this is where you miss your mark.

The irony is whenever you feel not good about yourself, most of us sub-consciously spend a long time over the phone scrolling the social media. Those deceptive smiles are all over you and a sense of comparison follows.

Please stop now! Use social media wisely. Don’t allow it to ruin your thoughts.

11. Stop Criticizing Life and Start Appreciating It

Are you blessed with basic necessities of life needed to qualify for happiness- food, clothing, and shelter?

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If you are this fortunate, you are over most of the world’s population.

So whenever you think you are not good enough, just stop there and appreciate your life for all the blessings it bestows you.

Yes… thankfulness is what is needed to beat the blues! It enables you to see the bigger picture. And you adapt to the demanding situations better.

Always remember:

Only when you accept the lows, your positive attitude will deal with it better.

Final Thoughts

All of life is peaks and valleys. Don’t let the peaks get too high and the valleys too low. -John Wooden

My friend, look at the positive side! You are one brave individual has the guts to accept something is wrong with you. Not only that, you are ready to fix it.

If you are not feeling good enough, that means your feeling quotient is working fine. And that’s great!

The only concern is the uncontrollable negative thoughts that drive you away from positivity. What you need to do is slow down the thinking process and gradually revive back your positive self.

Always remember:

Whenever you feel down under, you need to handle yourself with extra love and care.

Nothing is permanent, this too shall pass.

Take this as an opportunity because when you think you are at the brink of losing, it is actually the beginning calling!

More Articles to Give You a Motivation Boost

Featured photo credit: Ivan Karasev via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] tiny buddha: What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself
[2] Dumb Little Man: The Courage To Say No
[3] Great Good Magazine: What Is Compassion?
[4] Happy Realization: Either you are nude or naked; know the difference?

More by this author

Amanpreet Singh

Amanpreet Singh is a soulful blogger by passion and a mindful businessman by profession. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves sharing his experiences from the inner world.

11 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough Positive Motivation vs Negative Motivation: Which One Is Better? How to Quit Your Unfulfilling Job and Lead Your Dream Career How Do You Meditate? 8 Meditation Techniques for Complete Beginners

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Last Updated on July 17, 2019

How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Best Version of You

How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Best Version of You

Let’s start with the problem:

You get back from work. You’re tired. It was a long day. You know there’s things you could do, to get out of the rut you’re in.

But, let’s be honest. You really would rather relax, sit down and chill for a bit. Grab a snack. Watch your favourite show.

By the time you’ve done that, the day’s over. There’s just not enough time. To make this worse – you don’t have the energy or willpower to make changes in your life today.

So where do you go from there?

What you need are some easy to apply actions that are proven to work.

This article is going to give you 4 steps on how to make changes in life so you can follow today and get closer to success – even when you are feeling tired and lazy.

These steps have proven to work for me, and many of the coaching clients I work with privately.

1. Squash Inconsistency by Giving up Motivation

Now most people, when they want to make changes to their lives, focus on making lengthy to-do lists and plans. They think over and over again about what is going wrong, what is going well and what they want, etc.

All in a bid to push themselves to getting more motivated.

Guess what? This isn’t going to work.

Willpower and motivation are feelings. Feelings are vague and unreliable.

Instead, what you should do is focus on putting your flawed unpredictable self in the best possible environments.

If you do one thing first from this list, it’s THIS:

Find and go to the best possible environment for the area of your life you want to change.

For example:

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  • If you want to get fit, make your first goal to show up at the gym three times a week.
  • If you want to find a new relationship, show up to a meet up in your city for single people.
  • If you want to be productive and make your business idea work, don’t work at home, go to a co working space nearby.

The reason people fail to become the best version of themselves is because they underestimate the power of environments to influence behavior.

Accept that you are flawed, prone to distractions and your motivation and willpower will fail you.

The best hack at your disposal? Show up to “change inducing” environments and get out of your comfort zone (physically)!

OK. Next step.

2. Recruit an Elite Team to Help You (For Free)

Open up any social media platform you’re active on that contains some positive connections you have.

Send this message to one person you already know and trust ton help you make changes to your life:

“Hey [first name]. Can I be really frank and honest with you? I’m having one of those – ‘OMG I NEED TO MAKE CHANGES TO MY LIFE!’ moments.

And I was browsing the internet, looking for tips and this article I came across suggested accountability. So here I am, messaging you to be part of my accountability system.

My ask is simple.

Can we sit together once a week at [x place] but do absolutely no socializing? I’ll buy the [coffee/food] and it will be a space to force me to do [x thing]. You literally have to do nothing other than eat the free coffee/food I pay for lol. But it will keep my accountability high, which is what I need.

What you reckon? Can you help? Thanks!”

Now obviously, change the language to suit you but you get the idea.

Not only are you going to environments that will help you make changes, but by bringing a friend (or two), you make it even likelier that you will succeed. It doesn’t even have to be in person, it could be a video call.

People fail to make changes to their lives because they try to do it all themselves.

It doesn’t really work in long term, and it doesn’t have to be this way.

You can recruit and “enlist” people to help you. By doing this, you’re taking care of the up and down motivation you have.

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Not only are people happy to help, when they see this type of behavior, they’re also inspired and motivated to change their lives. Pretty soon, you end up creating change in not just your life, but other people’s too.

So when the next dip in willpower comes?

You have a friend sitting right next to you, watching your every move, making sure you get things done anyway.

3. Build Good Habits Effortlessly

Changing your life means changing your day to day habits.

Habits are automated behaviors you do everyday, like how a clock works, without thinking or motivating yourself to do them.

Some habits help you to change, others can stop you. One of the best ways to replace your ‘bad’ habits with good ones is to treat them like old clothes. What happens when your t-shirt gets old, faded and out of fashion? You replace it with something new and improved.

Do the same thing with your habits – upgrade and replace them with something better. Start small, then slowly graduate to higher levels of difficulty.

Let me give you a clear example of what I mean:

A few years ago (before it became mainstream), I was trying to start my own habit of meditating every single day to help boost my productivity and mindfulness. I’d done a mind blowing course called Vipassana. It involved 10 days of deeply powerful meditation combined with noble silence in a remote part of the UK.

Now it was easy to do when I was there (#1 – environment!) with all those other meditators (#2 – people helping me). All I could do was meditate. There were ZERO distractions. I had NO CHOICE.

When I got home however, after a few days of sticking with it, I quickly caved.

Those extra 30 minutes of sleep were just so much easier than waking up everyday at 4am for a long one hour meditation.

So what did I do to build this really important habit?

Like with most things, I wanted to make changes to my life. I wanted to become my best self.

I knew how important it was. I just couldn’t follow through consistently and kept failing over and over.

Then, it hit me.

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I needed to start small. I made a tiny change, that made all the difference.

I made a tiny change, that I could stick to – without fail – that has me meditating daily every single day now.

What was it?

Instead of trying to do something BIG inconsistently (1 hour of 4am morning meditation) and failing again and again. I decided to do something small consistently.

Building any good habit really just comes down to repetition. The way the brain is built works in favour of this.

My new habit became:

When I wake up, I will fold my bedding neatly. Then I will sit cross legged for 30 seconds with my eyes closed.

Eventually, once I did this consistently for a few months. I increased difficulty.

When I wake up, I will fold my bedding neatly. Then I will meditate for 10 minutes.

Why does this work?

What’s important here is that the behavior you want (meditating) is tied to another consistent habit (folding your bedding).

I attached my new habit to one that already is consistent.

Making it more likely to happen.

Secondly, I aimed for consistency, not perfection. This is where a lot of people fail. They have an idea of the change they want, but things become all or nothing.

When you do this, you fail to realize the power of consistency. The brain you have loves patterns. In this case, I trained my brain to repeat a set pattern every morning when I fold my bed.

There was no motivation or willpower required.

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This training has gone so far now that if I miss a day of meditating, I really feel uncomfortable. I’m just as conditioned to meditate as most people are to checking their phones in the morning.

If you want to learn more about quitting bad habits, Lifehack’s CEO also has a guide on it: How to Break Bad Habits: I Broke 3 Bad Habits in Less Than 2 Months

4. Create More Time by Quitting Social Media

You know the best thing I’ve ever done for my productivity and it took me 30 seconds to do?

I deleted all social media apps from my phone and blocked them on my laptop.

Then, to reinforce it, I told all my friends and followers on Facebook (my most used platform) I wasn’t using it for a while.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with my social media. Social media is a tool. Tools are neutral. It’s how we use them that is “productive” or “distracting”.

We each have to judge how healthy our usage is, especially when weighed against unlocking our best self. That said, for most people reading this, including me, I think limiting our usage is a very favorable advantage.

One of the best ways to make changes in our lives is not to add new tools or tricks. But simply remove things that distract us.

Social media is something I use heavily for my businesses. Technically I’m a “social media influencer” and “YouTuber”. I need to be posting constantly, right?

Our situations are unique, so I came up with a unique solution for this. After deleting and blocking these apps from my devices, I installed a social media management software that still allows me to post my updates.

The big difference, however, is I cannot spend any time scrolling and being distracted.

Final Thoughts

Change is not always about more. Sometimes it’s about doing less and getting rid of what distracts or blocks you.

Trying to do things by yourself is a good way to fail. Share your goals and pitfalls with people, no one helps until you ask.

Start with small changes consistently instead of big changes failed at consistently. The momentum will give you results over time.

So what to do next to make changes in your life?

  1. Write down where you are going to GO to create the changes you want.
  2. Message 3 to 4 people on social media and ask them to help you using the message template I gave you.
  3. Choose one small habit to get started with immediately and upgrade it over time.
  4. Delete all, or at least most social media apps on your devices, and notify people you are leaving to make it stick.

More About Making Changes in Life

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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