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Last Updated on June 18, 2020

11 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

11 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

Have you battled against the feeling of worthlessness? Irrespective of whatever a situation demands, are you not feeling good enough?

If you do, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone. In fact, we’re all in this together.

I strongly feel every individual encounters this phase when life asks extremely tough questions. And just because we cannot answer every unpredictable question, most of us develop a feeling of hopelessness.

But don’t you think enjoying favorable situations and surrendering to the unfavorable ones is an intriguing question on your mental toughness?

To your surprise:

These testing times are essential for your transformation into a stronger and positive individual.

Or else, life just goes on sans any exploration, with no excitement.

Straightforward, feeling not good enough about yourself can make you or break you. I’m sure you want to make your way ripping those dark clouds hovering over you. Are you pumped up for the challenge?

Here are 11 things to do when you think you’re not good enough:

1. Stop Comparing and Competing with Others

Everyone is wired differently. But the problem with most of us is that in the quest to become everyone else, we lose our originality.

With that, we lose an integral quality – Self Love.[1]

The never-ending comparison with people is destructive enough to evoke a sense of worthlessness. So please stop killing your uniqueness to become like others because you cannot: The More We Compare, the More We Lose Ourselves.

Let us avert any competition with others so that we bring out the best in us. This way, you’ll surely prevent yourself from surrendering to your lows.

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2. Recall Your Past Achievements and Credentials

If you can feel you are not good enough, trust me, you are capable enough to feel proud of yourself. Any positive emotion from your memory book can uplift your mind state and rejuvenate you.

Better said than done, I know it’s difficult to think positively under the influence of negativity. But it is just an initiation that is required to create a strong base for your rescue. Be it the smallest thing, any sense of your past accomplishment negates the feeling of uselessness.

So, just switch on your positive reminders. It’s the perfect antidote.

3. Deactivate the Thinking Mode for Some Time

Fortunately, this isn’t as hard as it sounds. The mind is a powerful thing, and in a nanosecond, it can elevate or crush your mood because of the beliefs lurking behind your feelings.

So, whenever you think you are not good enough, remember it is just the frequency and quality of thoughts that need to change, not you.

Everyone encounters these hard times where you can’t do much to change things. The best approach is letting this phase pass without overthinking.

So – next time you think you are not good enough, remind yourself to stop thinking!

4. Express Out the Negativity

Not only positive emotions but also expressing negative emotions is imperative. It is the quickest way to unburden yourself from the misery of feeling not good enough.

Simply put, whenever you sense something is not right around or inside you, speak out! It might require valiant courage in the beginning. Sink into your mind that all it takes is one bold step.

As soon as you speak out, you’ll feel that not only does it offload the feeling of worthlessness but it also reboots your confidence and esteem.

Sometimes, it is better to say no than to say yes and be crushed under the stress of possibly producing a poor product or disappointing the requestor.[2]

5. Choose the Right Person With Whom You Share Your Lows

This is important or it can sink you further. You just cannot unveil your pure unfiltered emotions in front of everyone.

That’s because when you are expecting a shoulder to lean on that is not there, the effects of feeling useless may intensify and aggravate your pain.

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So, make sure you are flush out feelings of your hard times to one who knows you well – the one you can trust. But please make sure you share. You may not get the right advice but you may get the strength to go through the tough times.

6. Any Act of Compassion Can Rejuvenate You

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.[3]

Yes, one of the best ways of reviving back your higher self is by uplifting others. When you fulfill the emotional or financial needs of others, not only does it bring a smile on their face, but it also makes you feel content.

Don’t believe me? Try it!

Whenever you feel not good enough about yourself, follow compassion.

Never hold back if you are efficient enough to suffice people’s life anyway. Any such act is sufficiently powerful to provide an instant high you are seeking.

7. Focus on the Process Rather Than the Results

Do you frequently think about the possessions attached to success before achieving?

It is a common syndrome with many people in this fast-paced materialistic world. We think about the name, fame, and luxury attached to success so much that when we come back to reality, it leads to frustration and impatience. We simply lose focus that adversely affects the execution of the process.

Why? Your mind refuses to endure because it has tasted success in imagination. Then, insecurity seeps in to provoke a thought you are not good enough.

Wondering what to do? Resist the temptation of overthinking about success by developing self-control.

You also need to understand it is normal and happens with almost every individual. Don’t be hard on yourself and take a break. It is just a matter of time you will be back on track.

8. Work Out to Experience the Liveliness

Feeling not good enough? Most of the time, a small workout session is all you need to push yourself back to life.

Any form of exercise not only detoxifies your body but also releases happy hormones in mind. You don’t need to hit the gym every time; there are many exercises to help you stay on track from home.

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A healthy body and mind is the best combination to recover from your lows speedily. Don’t just think. Start!

9. Stop Fulfilling the Undue Expectations of People

Are you always trying to fulfill others’ expectations on you?

If yes, you are digging your own grave. Not only will you lose people, but you’ll also your individuality.

Ever wondered how long will you be able to sustain? Not long enough!

If it continues, you won’t be able to respect your priorities. It is bound to evoke the feeling of uselessness.

To get rid of it, showcase your nudity by yourself than to live in fear of getting exposed by people.[4]

I’m sure you cannot deny everyone’s expectations on you, but be clear about the difference between taking the essential responsibilities and being others’ puppet.

10. Stop Believing in Social Media Profiles

How often do you see a smiling picture posted on social media? Can you identify the broken hearts behind that smile though?

Never – and this is where you miss your mark.

The irony is whenever you are feeling good about yourself, most of us subconsciously spend a long time over the phone scrolling on social media. Those deceptive smiles are all over you and a sense of comparison follows.

Please stop now! Use social media wisely. Don’t allow it to ruin your thoughts.

11. Stop Criticizing Life and Start Appreciating It

Are you blessed with the basic necessities of life needed to qualify for happiness – food, clothing, and shelter?

If you are this fortunate, you are over most of the world’s population. So, whenever you think you are not good enough, just stop there and appreciate your life for all the blessings it bestows you.

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Yes, thankfulness is what is needed to beat the blues! It enables you to see the bigger picture. And you adapt to the demanding situations better.

Always remember:

When you accept the lows, your positive attitude will deal with it better.

Final Thoughts

All of life is peaks and valleys. Don’t let the peaks get too high and the valleys too low.

-John Wooden

My friend, look at the positive side! You are one brave individual who has the guts to accept that something is wrong with you. Not only that, but you are also ready to fix it.

If you are not feeling good enough, that means your feeling quotient is working fine. And that’s great!

The only concern is the uncontrollable negative thoughts that drive you away from positivity. What you need to do is slow down the thinking process and gradually revive back your positive self.

Always remember:

Whenever you feel down under, you need to handle yourself with extra love and care.

Nothing is permanent, this too shall pass.

Take this as an opportunity because when you think you are at the brink of losing, it is actually the beginning calling!

More Articles to Help You When You Feel You’re Not Good Enough

Featured photo credit: Ivan Karasev via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] tiny buddha: What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself
[2] Dumb Little Man: The Courage To Say No
[3] Great Good Magazine: What Is Compassion?
[4] Happy Realization: Either you are nude or naked; know the difference?

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Amanpreet Singh

Amanpreet Singh is a soulful blogger by passion and a mindful businessman by profession. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves sharing his experiences from the inner world.

Positive Motivation vs Negative Motivation: Which One Is Better? How to Quit Your Unfulfilling Job and Lead Your Dream Career How Do You Meditate? 8 Meditation Techniques for Complete Beginners

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Live Your Best Life Starting Today

How to Live Your Best Life Starting Today

As human beings, one of our deepest-rooted desires is to have a meaningful and happy existence. You’ve probably heard of the saying, “Live your best life.” It’s good advice.

We all want to feel connected to both ourselves and others. We want to feel that we’re part of something important and that we’re making a difference in the world.

We want to look back at our lives and our achievements and be proud. In short, we want what the saying says: to live our best lives.

But what does it really mean to live your best life?

You are a unique individual, so living your best life is exclusive to you. Your best life will reflect your true values. It will be made up of what makes you happy and will be colored by what making a difference means to you.

What Stops You From Living Your Best Life?

While living your best life is all about you, what other people think can have an impact on your quest to live your best life.

Social media, for example, puts us under a lot of pressure. There are specific expectations of what “happy” looks like, and we’re under pressure to conform to what society expects.

For example, we are pressured to look a certain way, wear the “right” clothes, have exciting adventures with eye-catching friends, eat ethical and healthy food, and do charity work.

These are only a few of society’s expectations. It’s a long list.

Social media claims to connect us, but often it can do the opposite.

We can spend so much time worrying about what other people are doing, trying to live the life that society expects of us, that it can be easy to lose track of what makes us happy and what our best life actually looks like.

Start the Journey

What does it look like to live your best life? The following are some practical tips and tools to move from living your current life to living your best life.

1. Be the Best Version of Yourself

To live your best life, you must be the best version of yourself. Don’t try to be something or someone else. Don’t try to be what other people want you to be.

Focus on who you want to be. Play to your strengths and be proud of what makes you different. You are brilliant.

Gretchen Rubin, in her book Happiness Project, created her own commandments. The first one was “Be Gretchen.” This gave her permission to follow her gut feeling and make up her own rules.

For example, she stopped forcing herself to enjoy parties, cocktails, and fashion just because that’s what she thought society expected.

So, inspired by Gretchen, create your own commandment: “Be more YOU,” and remind yourself of this every day, unapologetically.

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2. Observe Yourself

To work out what the best you looks like, you must get to know yourself better. It’s your best life after all – not anyone else’s.

Start to notice how you respond to various situations. What are your habits? What makes you happy? What frustrates you? How do you behave under pressure? What gives you energy? What drains you?

Spend a week simply noticing. Write your observations down so you remember.

3. Identify Your Bad Habits

As part of your observations, start to notice your bad habits. Consider the things that don’t ultimately make you feel good.

Does scrolling mindlessly through Instagram make you happy? For 5 minutes, perhaps, but for longer?

That last glass of wine was delicious, but do you pay the price later?

That chocolate was enjoyable at the moment, but now that the sugar high is over, are you feeling regretful?

Observe yourself first. Then, start to deliberately do more of the things that make you happy and give you energy.

At the same time, work on reducing then eliminating the habits that squander your time, drain your energy, and ultimately don’t make you happy.

Need help conquering your bad habits? Read How to Break Bad Habits Once and For All.

4. Set Intentions

After having thought about what makes you happy and what drains your energy, focus on what living the best life looks like for you.

One of the keys to this is being intentional about it. When you deliberately set intentions, you are more likely to act with purpose and drive.

Setting intentions is different from setting goals. Goals are your list of things you want to achieve. You can set them daily, monthly, yearly, or a combination.

A common practice is to define goals and write them down. This makes them more tangible and makes you more accountable, therefore, making the goals more likely to happen.

The subtle yet important difference between goals and intentions is that when setting intentions, you decide what kind of positive feelings and emotions you are seeking.

For example, “This week, my intention is to approach my admin tasks with gusto in order to complete them more quickly.”

Intentions can be more motivating than goals because if you don’t achieve your goal, it can feel like a failure and can ultimately hold you back.

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If you don’t achieve your intention to approach something in a specific way, you can more easily regroup and have another try.

Write down your intentions every month, week, or day, using whichever time frame works best for you.

For example, “I intend to enjoy going swimming three times this week” or “I intend to assertively build my network in my local area this month.”

Setting intentions gives you something to focus on, and it also helps to manage the feeling of being overwhelmed that often happens when we set ourselves goals.

5. Visualize Living Your Best Life

Visualization can help you to cement your intentions. It involves visualizing how it would feel to live your best life once you achieve it.

It can help you to further establish what you want and allow you to settle into a positive mindset.

To visualize, first choose your focus. Choose a specific intention and how you will feel once it is accomplished. Then, take the time to daydream and allow your imagination to wander.

For example, if your intention is going swimming three times a week, imagine what you will look and feel like:

  • What will you wear?
  • How do you get there?
  • What time of day do you go?
  • How do you feel when you’re in the water?
  • How do you feel afterward?

Ask yourself these little questions and allow yourself to feel the same feelings you would feel if you were currently fulfilling your intention.

10 Ways to Live Your Best Life

Now that you’ve decided and visualized what your best life looks like, let’s look at some more practical steps you can take to achieve it.

1. Focus

Whatever you do, focus. If you swim, swim. If you study, study. Multitasking is a myth. It’s not possible to do more than one thing at a time well. Focused work is the least tiresome and the most productive type of work.

Michael LeBouf, the author of The Millionaire in You, said,

“Winners focus, losers spray.”

2. Take Responsibility for Taking Action

Taking action can feel scary. We fear failure, but we can also fear success. It can be easy to feel too busy to achieve your intentions.

However, you have the choice to take action and live your best life or stay the same. It’s up to you, so take responsibility to take action.

3. Live in the Present

Every day is a new opportunity to live your best life. We so often get stuck because we put things off.

We can think, “When I’ve lost 10 lbs I’ll go swimming,” or “When I feel more confident I’ll look for a new job,” or “When I get my new running shoes I’ll start running.”

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How about starting from where you are? How about using what you already have?

We often put off taking action until we have the newest phone/camera/game/course/book/shoes as if they are the keys to happiness. In the process, we forget about what we already have.

Grab the camera that you have, put on your old running shoes. Go and do something interesting today with what you’ve got. Fancier gadgets, better clothes, or a slimmer body won’t make you better.

Action will.

4. Declutter

This applies to the environment you live in as well as the people you spend time with. Use Marie Kondo’s decluttering method of asking, “Does it bring you joy?”[1]

If your answer is yes, you keep the item. If you hesitate or say no, you donate it or throw it out. Simple.

This also applies to people. If there are people in your life that make you feel bad, drain your energy, and don’t bring you joy, let go of them.

Instead, spend time with the people and activities that give you energy and make you feel good.

5. Relish the Simple Things

When we’re busy, we can forget to appreciate what we have. Take time to focus on the simple things. Even when you’re feeling low, there’s always something to be grateful for.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.[2] Be deliberate in being grateful for what you do have, rather than resentful of what you don’t.

6. Journaling

Journaling

is simply writing your thoughts down.

According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, writing your thoughts and feelings down on paper not only helps you get your thoughts in order, but it can also help ease symptoms of depression and manage stress and anxiety.[3]

In the chaos of life, it is easy to overthink, feel anxious, or not appreciate what you do have. Journaling can help you manage your thoughts and feelings and productively cope with life.

Be curious and keep learning. Ask more questions and keep pushing yourself to step outside of your comfort zone and learn.

What are you interested in or curious about? Perhaps it’s learning more about where you live, or reading up on a particular topic? Maybe it’s traveling to a new town or country?

According to Dan Pink’s research, learning is a key motivator.[4] Whether you feel like you’ve gotten stuck in a boring routine or you’re stressed by the tasks of daily life, learning something new is a way to step outside yourself and your comfort zone.

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Create a bucket list of all the things you’d like to do and learn and the places you’d like to go to, and start ticking them off.

7. Make Someone’s Day

Being kind to others makes them feel good, and it also releases chemicals in your body that make you feel good. Think about a time you gave someone a gift that they loved. How did you feel?

You don’t have to start giving people gifts to make someone’s day. Think about small, thoughtful gestures: a genuine compliment, opening the door, offering to help someone.

All these things can make a big difference in someone’s day.

8. Look After Your Body

Eat what nourishes you, including plenty of vegetables and fruit and food that’s natural and unprocessed. Drink plenty of water.

Exercise because you like it, not because you’re supposed to go to the gym.

Reject the idea that you have to push yourself really hard at exercise, and instead try out a variety of things – for example, walking the dog, gardening, yoga, swimming, or dancing.

Find what you enjoy. When you enjoy something, you’ll be motivated to do it more.

Get good rest! We’re all different in terms of the amount of sleep that we need. However, most adults need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep.

If you’re not getting that much, then check out healthy sleep tips from the Sleep Foundation.[5]

More tips for staying healthy: Powerful Daily Routine Examples for a Healthy and High-Achieving You.

9. Manage Your Inner Critic

Most people have an inner critic that tells them they are not good enough, that they’re a fraud, and that they are going to be found out.

This happens especially when we step out of our comfort zone and change things. If you are living your best life, your inner critic likes to jeopardize that.

The next time it appears, acknowledge what’s happening and call it out. Whatever it is telling you, list all the reasons it’s wrong.

10. Be Prepared to Change the Plan

You may have set intentions to live your best life. However, life is not linear, nor does it work in lists. You must expect to be flexible and change the plan as life throws things at you.

The end game remains the same: to live your best life. It’s just the route to get there that will inevitably change.

Conclusion

Live each day like it counts, and remember, it’s your choice. Your best life is unique to you. Don’t compare yourself to others – focus on living your best life, and enjoy the learning, exploration, and experiences along the way.

More Tips on How You Can Live Your Best Life

Featured photo credit: Juliana Malta via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Kon Mari: Tidy your space, transform your life
[2] Harvard Health Publishing: In Praise of Gratitude
[3] University of Rochester Medical Center: Journaling for Mental Health
[4] Daniel H. Pink: Dan Pink on Motivation
[5] Sleep Foundation: Healthy Sleep Tips

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