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Last Updated on September 11, 2020

10 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

10 Things to Do When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

Have you battled against feelings of worthlessness? Irrespective of whatever a situation demands, are you feeling not good enough, like you’re falling short?

If you do, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone. In fact, we’re all in this together.

I strongly feel every individual encounters this phase when life asks extremely tough questions. And just because we cannot answer every unpredictable question, most of us develop a feeling of hopelessness.

However, these trying times are essential for your transformation into a stronger and more positive individual.

Feeling not good enough can make you or break you. I’m sure you want to make your way ripping those dark clouds hovering over you. Are you pumped up for the challenge?

Here are 11 things to do when you think you’re not good enough.

1. Stop Comparing and Competing

Everyone is wired differently. But the problem with most of us is that, in the quest to become like everyone else, we lose our originality.

With that, we lose an integral quality: self-love[1].

The never-ending comparison with people can evoke a sense of worthlessness, especially today when social media feeds are full of amazing photos to compare out lives to. However, these tidbits don’t represent the complexities of life.

One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[2]. The more you compare, the worse you feel.

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Take a moment to admire the great things in your own life, and only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

2. Recall Your Past Achievements

If you can feel you are not good enough, trust me, you are capable enough to feel proud of yourself. Any positive emotion from your memory book can uplift your mind and rejuvenate you.

Be it the smallest thing, any sense of your past accomplishments will help negate the feeling of uselessness.

Switch on your positive reminders. It’s the perfect antidote.

3. Deactivate the Thinking Mode for Some Time

Fortunately, this isn’t as hard as it sounds. The mind is a powerful thing, and in a nanosecond, it can elevate or crush your mood because of the beliefs lurking behind your feelings.

When you think you are not good enough, remember it is just the frequency and quality of thoughts that need to change, not you.

Everyone encounters these hard times where you can’t do much to change things. The best approach is letting this phase pass without overthinking.

Instead of thinking and worrying, do something to take your mind off the negative thoughts. It could be exercise, painting, reading, or talking with a friend. Find what works for you.

4. Express the Negativity

Expressing negative emotions is imperative. It is the quickest way to unburden yourself from the misery of feeling not good enough.

Simply put, whenever you sense something is not right around or inside you, speak out! It might require valiant courage in the beginning.

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If you don’t have someone around to speak out, write out your negative feelings in a journal. This is another way to offload the thoughts that are causing you problems.

5. Choose the Right Person to Share Your Lows

You just cannot unveil your pure unfiltered emotions in front of everyone. This involves a level of vulnerability that demands trust and safety.

When you are expecting a shoulder to lean on that is not there, the effects of feeling useless may intensify and aggravate your pain, so this choice must be a careful one.

Make sure you flush out feelings of your hard times to one who knows you well. You may not get the advice you’re looking for, but you may get the strength to go through the tough times if you know you have a support system behind you.

6. Offer an Act of Compassion

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering[3].

Yes, one of the best ways of reviving your higher self is by uplifting others. When you fulfill the emotional or financial needs of others, not only does it bring a smile to their face, but it also makes you feel content.

Don’t believe me? Try it!

Whenever you’re feeling like you’re not good enough, follow compassion. Try out some of the ideas below if you don’t know where to start[4]:

If you're feeling like you're not good enough, practice kindness.

    7. Focus on the Process Rather Than the Results

    Do you frequently think about the possessions attached to success before achieving something?

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    It is a common syndrome with many people in this fast-paced, materialistic world. We think about the name, fame, and luxury attached to success so much that when we come back to reality, it leads to frustration and impatience. We simply lose focus that adversely affects the execution of the process.

    Why? Your mind refuses to endure because it has tasted success in imagination. Then, insecurity seeps in to provoke the thought that you are not good enough.

    Wondering what to do? Resist the temptation to overthink success by developing self-control.

    8. Work out to Experience Liveliness

    Feeling not good enough? Most of the time, a small workout session is all you need to push yourself back to life.

    Any form of exercise not only detoxifies your body but also releases happy hormones in our mind. You don’t need to hit the gym every time; there are many exercises to help you stay on track from home.

    A healthy body and mind is the best combination to recover from your lows speedily.

    9. Stop Fulfilling the Undue Expectations of People

    Are you always trying to fulfill others’ expectations of you? Most of us have been doing this for a long time.

    If yes, you are digging your own grave. Not only will you lose people, but you’ll also lose your individuality. If it continues, you won’t be able to respect your priorities. It is bound to evoke the feeling of uselessness.

    Learn to say no to expectations and, instead, follow your own path with the people who accept it[5].

    10. Stop Criticizing Life and Start Appreciating It

    Are you blessed with the basic necessities of life needed to qualify for happiness—food, clothing, and shelter?

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    If you are this fortunate, you are ahead of most of the world’s population. So, whenever you think you are not good enough, just stop and appreciate your life for all the blessings it bestows on you.

    A healthy sense of gratitude enables you to see the bigger picture, and you adapt to demanding situations better.

    If you’re not sure how to develop a gratitude practice, check out this article.

    Final Thoughts

    “All of life is peaks and valleys. Don’t let the peaks get too high and the valleys too low.” -John Wooden

    Look on the bright side! You are one brave individual who has the guts to accept that something isn’t quite right. Not only that, but you are also ready to fix it.

    If you are not feeling good enough, that means your feeling quotient is working fine. And that’s great!

    The only concern is the uncontrollable negative thoughts that drive you away from positivity. What you need to do is slow down the thinking process and gradually revive your positive self.

    Always remember:

    Whenever you feel down, you need to handle yourself with extra love and care.

    More on What to Do When Feeling Not Good Enough

    Featured photo credit: Ivan Karasev via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] tiny buddha: What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself
    [2] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social Comparison, Social Media, and Self-Esteem
    [3] Greater Good Magazine: What Is Compassion?
    [4] Blessing Manifesting: 56 Random Acts of Kindness Ideas
    [5] Happy Realization: Either you are nude or naked; know the difference?

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    Amanpreet Singh

    Amanpreet Singh is a soulful blogger by passion and a mindful businessman by profession.

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    Published on September 25, 2020

    5 Powerful Self-Care Ideas for When Life Is Stressful

    5 Powerful Self-Care Ideas for When Life Is Stressful

    Stress doesn’t discriminate. It affects everyone, invariably in different ways. Regardless of how stress shows up in your life, I think we can all agree that it’s present. When it does show up, it takes over the show. It then becomes difficult to stay in the present moment or show gratitude for what and who we have in our life. In the eye of the stress storm, everything is tossed around into oblivion. This is probably when self-care finally comes to our mind.

    How Does Stress Show Up?

    On a physical scale, stress tends to be behind many of our typical ailments, such as headaches, insomnia, muscle tension, or body aches and pain.[1] When we’re in stressful situations, our body activates our fight-or-flight response. According to the American Institute of Stress, when the body is in this mode due to stress, “the body’s sympathetic nervous system is activated due to the sudden release of hormones. The sympathetic nervous system stimulates the adrenal glands, triggering the release of catecholamines, which include adrenaline and noradrenaline. This results in an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate.”[2]

    Why is this important? While our fight-or-flight response is extremely helpful when we’re in situations that risk our survival, not every situation is that dire. However, the body doesn’t know how to differentiate between such scenarios. Rather, we become accustomed to seeing every stressful situation as dire, and essentially locked into this fight-or-flight response automatically. This causes us to burn out because our body is constantly fighting or fleeing from threats that are not causing us any real harm.

    On a mental and emotional scale, according to the Mayo Clinic, “Stress symptoms can affect your body, your thoughts and feelings, and your behavior.” Everything is interconnected. When our physical body takes a toll due to stress, this has a domino effect on how we process our thoughts and feelings. Therefore, it is not uncommon to see correlations between depression and anxiety when it comes to dealing with stress.

    How to Combat Stress?

    Below are five self-care ideas for combating stress in your life. Consider implementing them into your daily routine for the best results.

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    1. Start a Brain Dump Writing Exercise

    When you’re overwhelmed with thoughts, it can become very difficult to stay present and focused. This could affect you at work, in school, or in your relationships. It’s as if your mind were filled to the brim with thoughts that are constantly competing for your attention. If left unattended, this can affect your performance or your state of being. Stress is just brewing!

    One exercise to get this under control is called a Brain Dump, and it’s exactly how it sounds. Start by getting comfortable with a pen and paper or your favorite journal. Without any special formatting or introduction, just start writing any and all thoughts that come up. Consider your paper a blank canvas onto which you’re going to spill every thought, no matter how small or unimportant. This can look like a laundry list, a jumble of words, or a paragraph. Don’t think too much of how it looks. The idea is to give your thoughts an exit. Once they’re on paper, they’re no longer swimming in your head for attention.

    Once you have them written down, leave them as they are. We have a tendency to want to fix our thoughts. Instead, allow them to simply exist as they are — they’re not right or wrong. Consider coming back to this exercise daily or whenever you feel like you have a lot on your mind.

    2. Sweat It Out

    There is nothing more therapeutic than moving the physical body when it feels the weight of stress. Energetically, we carry our day in our body! If we’ve had a particularly difficult day, that energy is going to feel tense and unsettling. This is why it’s so important to move and really break a sweat!

    According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America,[3]

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    “Scientists have found that regular participation in aerobic exercise has been shown to decrease overall levels of tension, elevate and stabilize mood, improve sleep, and improve self-esteem.”

    Find what exercise regimen works for you, and commit to it for a few days per week. Scientists have also found that even 10-15 minutes of aerobic exercise can have a tremendous effect on your body. Go for a run, take a spin class or a power yoga class, or dance the stress away in Zumba. Whatever gets your heart rate up and breaks a sweat is one of the perfect self-care ideas to keep the stress away.

    3. Seek the Care of a Therapist

    Sometimes writing out our thoughts and feelings doesn’t seem quite enough. This is common and to be expected. After all, we are complex human beings who want to understand and process our emotions on a deeper level. This is why having a regular therapy session is so beneficial!

    In the presence of a professional, we can open up about what stressful situations we’re going through. We don’t have to keep our emotions bottled up, and we know that our honesty will be protected and safeguarded.

    Additionally, when we’re feeling stressed, we often want to simply vent and get things off of our chest. Having someone on the receiving end who will simply listen and hold space is a truly healing gift. We can often leave the session feeling more empowered, seen, and offloaded of the stress we brought in.

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    Lastly, we may be able to receive guidance from our therapist on a particular situation we’re struggling with. Having someone else’s perspective on something we’re too emotionally close to can be just the right solution.

    Here are more self-care ideas from a therapist: Self Care Tips During Difficult Times (A Therapist’s Advice).

    4. Interrupt Your Day

    This may seem like a derailing technique, but give it a shot! Interrupting your day means introducing something entirely new or random into a routine that is very monotonous or typical.

    If your work or school day is the same sequence of events every single day, bringing in an interruption can be quite conducive to your productivity and creativity. This can look like pausing in the middle of the day for a yoga stretch at your desk or in your office. It could be playing your favorite playlist in-between meetings or taking a walk outside for lunch. Not only does this stir up new energy for your day, but it can also de-stress your day.

    As I said in the earlier tip, when we’re too close to a situation or conflict, we have a harder time breaking away. We’re so emotionally and mentally invested that we don’t see how that proximity is affecting our health. So, interrupt yourself when you’re feeling stress coming on, and do something fun, random, and refreshing.

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    5. Get Some Energy Work Done

    Energy work is anything that is being done to improve the circulation and energetic flow of the body. This could be a massage, Reiki session, chiropractic adjustment, or acupuncture. As I said in a previous tip, moving the body helps move the energy that is blocked or stuck. This is why exercise is so important. However, sometimes we need a session where that work is done for us by a licensed professional. In such treatments, we have the luxury to relax and receive the benefits of the treatment. It’s a beautiful way to self-care!

    Final Thoughts

    Stress is unfortunately a common part of our life. It affects everyone, but to what extent it affects you is personal. One thing is for sure, and that is that stress has a tremendous effect on our physical, mental, and emotional state. This is why regular exercise is so important, as well as mental stimulation and emotional release. These self-care ideas won’t necessarily guard you from ever feeling stressed, but they will help you manage it better.

    More Self-Care Ideas

    Featured photo credit: Alisa Anton via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Mayo Clinic: Stress Management
    [2] The American Institute of Stress: How the Fight or Flight Response Works
    [3] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Physical Activity Reduces Stress

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