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Last Updated on December 17, 2020

26 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

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26 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

Everyone goes through ups and downs in life. However, some know how to feel better more quickly, as they’ve found unique remedies to negative feelings. If you’re not one of those people and still struggle to get up when you’re feeling down, we have some suggestions to help.

It’s important to recognize and feel negative emotions when they arise, but it’s also imperative that you don’t stay there too long. Use some of the following tips and tricks to overcome negative self-talk and emotions and get back to feeling like the best version of yourself.

1. Listen to Good Music

You know what kind of music makes you feel good. Maybe it’s metal, indie pop, jazz, or rock. When you’re down, do you prefer something calming and relaxing, or something that will get you up and dancing?

You can also listen to the songs you loved when you were in high school or university. This will help you remember good times with past friends.

2. Journal It out

Write down how you feel as a way to express your thoughts if you don’t feel like talking to anyone. This can help you identify the root of your current unhappiness, which will offer a direct way out.

3. Draw or Doodle

If you don’t want to write, try drawing or doodling to help make sense of your emotions. You may be surprised what comes up. Draw anything you want because no one’s going to judge your drawing skills.

4. Read Past Emails, Texts, or Letters

Reading messages sent to you in the past by friends or family can help you remember that there are people who love and care about you. If you’re trying to figure out how to feel better, find some especially uplifting messages when you’re feeling down.

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5. Reflect on a Great Day

Silently think of a day or moment which you truly enjoyed, and try to recapture that very first feeling. Close your eyes and try to relive it through your five senses. This will trick the brain into thinking it’s real and may help return some of those positive emotions.

6. Look at Photos

Take out your photo albums and go through photos that make you smile. You can look at an old family vacation album or photos from the day you graduated. Just find photos that bring up positive, happy memories.

7. Cry

You should absolutely cry when you feel like doing so. Cry out all your fear and stress; what’s left after will help you look at your current problems with a fresh perspective.

As one article points out, “The stress-relieving response of crying has been found to be preceded by an uptick in parasympathetic nervous system activity, which means crying is facilitating activity that helps you start to relax”[1].

It’s great to practice being strong, but if you’re feeling especially anxious or stressed, a good cry can go a long way.

8. Sing

Sing loudly like no one can hear you if you want to learn how to feel better. Did you know that in Japan, people always sing karaoke to relieve stress?

9. Cook a Healthy Meal

Cook a nice meal for yourself or for your family. Healthy food naturally makes you feel better by helping to balance hormones in the body. Furthermore, connecting with friends and family over good food will help you lean on your support system if you’re having a bad day.

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10. Dress up

This is all about improving your self-image. If you feel better about yourself by changing the clothes you’re wearing, this will cultivate more positive emotions. Maybe, for dinner tonight, put on that nice new shirt you haven’t found a reason to wear yet.

11. Get out of Bed

It’s incredibly tempting to stay in bed and scroll through social media when we’re feeling down, but if you want to know how to feel better, you need to get out into the world. Grab your laptop or a book and go hang out at your favorite coffee place.

12. Take a Walk

Walking in nature and getting fresh air has been proven to reduce stress and anxiety and improve overall well being. If you have access to a nature path, that’s a great option. If not, get out into your neighborhood and begin to notice the trees and birds along the road, and focus on your breathing to improve relaxation.

13. Sweat

If you’re working on how to fee better, getting in some exercise can do wonders. Exercise releases feel-good hormones and naturally relieves stress and anxiety. If you’re having a bad day, go for a jog or find a yoga video on YouTube.

14. Play an Instrument

If you have a guitar or drum set lying around, go play some music! This will help distract you from the challenges of the day.

15. Tidy up

As you’re learning how to feel better, organize your desk or closet; you’ll feel good that you’re being productive and actually doing something. Furthermore, clutter can cause increased stress as it impedes focus, so organizing can help you today and in the days to come[2].

16. Watch Funny Videos

YouTube is full of funny videos for all ages. Find something that makes you laugh out loud to get those good vibes flowing.

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17. Eat Something Delicious

Don’t go overboard, but if you need a little pick-me-up, eat a small piece of cake, a scoop of ice cream, or a slice of pie. Let yourself indulge, just don’t empty the gallon of ice cream.

18. Reread a Favorite Book

When you’re feeling down, you probably won’t want to put energy toward reading something new, but you can pick up an old favorite that you know makes you feel good. You can even write down specific quotes or passages you love and hang them on your fridge or near your computer.

19. Watch a New Movie

There are likely tons of movies you’ve always interested in but had no time to watch. If you’re learning how to feel better, now is a great time to watch one of those. Try to pick one that is funny or lighthearted before moving on to the others.

20. Do Something Nice

Do something nice that no one will notice. For example, you can pick up an empty plastic bottle in the street and throw it to a recycling bin. Or you can donate some old clothes to the local homeless shelter. Do something nice without looking for recognition in order to internalize those warm, fuzzy emotions that come from being kind.

21. Call Your Best Friend

Call up a good friend and just talk about whatever you want. If you don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you, focus on other things. Human beings are social animals after all, and connecting with people close to you will make you feel better.

22. Volunteer

As you’re learning how to feel better, this may not help you this very moment, but you can get online and look for places you can volunteer. In the long run, this will help you find a greater sense of purpose and happiness.

23. Let Loose

If you’re feeling bad, have a drink with a friend at home or put on some loud music and dance around the house with your kids. Do something that helps you feel free and alive.

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24. Write to a Friend or Family Member

Write up a message to a friend or family member and tell them how much you care about them. Sending good vibes to them will naturally return those same good feelings to you, as you’ll know you made someone feel good.

25. Get out of Your Routine

Get out and meet new friends. Step out of your comfort zone by going to a new restaurant, going on a blind date, or dropping everything to go camping for the weekend. Meeting new people and having new experiences can inspire more positive feelings and help you learn how to feel better.

26. Look in the Mirror and Smile

Smiling releases neuropeptides, which help fight stress. Other feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin will follow these, offering you a good dose of positivity. It’s difficult to go on feeling sad if you’re trying to smile!

The Bottom Line

If you’re having a hard time, it can be difficult to focus on learning how to feel better. It’s best to start with something small to get some good energy flowing. From there, you can move on to bigger actions that can bring more positivity into your life day after day.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”  —Epictetus

More on How to Feel Better

Featured photo credit: Chermiti Mohamed via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Anna Chui

Anna is the Chief Editor and Content Strategist of Lifehack. She's also a communication expert who shares tips on motivation and relationships.

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Published on September 27, 2021

What Is Incentive Motivation And Does It Work?

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What Is Incentive Motivation And Does It Work?

We’ve all needed a bit of inspiration at some time in our lives. In the past year or two, that need most likely has grown. Who hasn’t been trying to shed those extra pounds we put on during the pandemic? Who hasn’t felt the need to fake a little enthusiasm at joining yet another Zoom call? Who hasn’t been trying to get excited about trekking back into the office for a 9 to 5 (longer if you add in the commute)? Feeling “meh” is a sign of our times. So, too, is incentive motivation, a way to get back our spark, our drive, and our pursuit of the things we say we want most.

In this article, I’ll talk about what incentive motivation is and how it works.

What Is Incentive Motivation?

Incentive motivation is an area of study in psychology focused on human motivation. What is it that gets us to go from couch potato to running a marathon? What spurs us to get the Covid vaccine—or to forgo it? What is it that influences us to think or act in a certain way? Incentive motivation is concerned with the way goals influence behavior.[1] By all accounts, it works if the incentive being used holds significance for the person.

The Roots of Incentive Motivation

Incentive motivation’s roots can be traced back to when we were children. I’m sure many of us have similar memories of being told to “eat all our veggies” so that we would “grow up to be big and strong,” and if we did eat those veggies, we would be rewarded with a weekend trip to a carnival or amusement park or playground of choice. The incentive of that outing was something we wanted enough to have it influence our behavior.

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Growing up, incentive motivation continues to play a major role in what we choose to do. For example, while we may not have relished the idea of spending years studying, getting good grades, pursuing advanced degrees, and graduating with sizeable debt from student loans, a great many of us decided to do just that. Why? Because the end goal of a career, a coveted title, and the associated incentives of financial reward and joy in doing something we love were powerful motivators.

One researcher who believes in the power of incentive motivation is weight management expert, co-author of the book State of Slim, and co-founder of the transformational weight loss program of the same name, Dr. Holly Wyatt. Her work with her clients has proven time and again that when motivation fizzles, incentives can reignite those motivational fires.

“Eat more veggies, exercise, keep track of my weight: These things and more DO work, but bottom line, you gotta keep doing them. Setting up rituals and routines to put your efforts on auto-pilot is one way. And along the way, the use of both external and internal motivators helps keep people on track. External motivation sources are those things outside of ourselves that help to motivate us. They’re powerful, like pouring gasoline on a fire. But they may not last very long. Internal motivators are more tied into the reasons WHY we want to reach our goals. In my State of Slim weight loss program, we spend a lot of time on what I call ‘peeling back the onion’ to find the WHY. I think the internal motivators are more powerful, especially for the long-term, but they may take longer to build. They’re the hot coals that keep our motivational fires burning.”

Examples of Incentive Motivation

In the way of incentive motivation, specific to the external motivators, Dr. Wyatt challenges her clients to commit to changing just one behavior that will help them reach their weight loss goals. Clients must then agree to a “carrot” or a “stick” as either their reward for accomplishing what they say they will do or as their punishment for falling short. Those incentives might be something like enjoying a spa day if they do the thing they said they would do or sweating it out while running up and down the stairwell of their apartment building a certain number of times as punishment for not following through.

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Whatever they choose, the goal must be something they really want, and the incentive must be something that matters to them enough to influence their behaviors in reaching those goals. Some people are more motivated by some sort of meaningful reward (a carrot) whereas, other people are more motivated by some sort of negative consequence or the taking away of a privilege (the stick).

Another example of incentive motivation is playing out currently with companies and government entities offering perks to people who get the Covid vaccine. Nationwide, offers are being made in the way of lottery tickets, cash prizes, concert seats, free admission to events and discounts for food, and even free drink at local restaurants and bars. The list of incentives being offered to the public to increase vaccination rates is pretty extensive and quite creative.[2]  These incentives are financial, social, and even hit on moral sensibilities. But is this particular incentive motivation working?

Remember that a key to incentive motivation working is if the individual puts importance on the reward being received on the ultimate goal. So, not all incentives will motivate people in the same way. According to Stephen L. Franzoi, “The value of an incentive can change over time and in different situations.”[3]

How Does Incentive Motivation Differ from Other Types of Motivators?

Incentive motivation is just one type of motivating force that relies on external factors. While rewards are powerful tools in influencing behaviors, a few other options may be more aligned with who you are and what gets you moving toward your goals.

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Fear Motivation

In many ways, being motivated by fear is the very opposite of being motivated by incentives. Rather than pursuing some reward, it’s the avoidance of some consequence or painful punishment that sparks someone into action. For example, married couples may “forsake all others” not out of love or commitment but out of a fear that they may be “taken to the cleaners” by their spouses if their infidelities are revealed.

Another example wherein fear becomes the great motivator is one we’re hearing about more and more as we’re coming out of this pandemic—the fear of being poor. The fear of being poor has kept many people in jobs they hate. It’s only now that we see a reversal as headlines are shining a light on just how many workers are quitting and refusing to go back to the way things were.

Social Motivation

Human beings are social creatures. The desire to belong is a powerful motivator. This type of social motivation sparks one’s behavior in ways that, hopefully, result in an individual being accepted by a certain group or other individuals.

The rise of the Internet and the explosion of social media engagement has been both positive and negative in its power to motivate us to be included among what during our school days would be called “the cool kids” or “cliques” (jocks, nerds, artsy, gamers, etc.). We probably all have experienced at one time or another the feelings associated with “not being chosen”—whether to be on a team to play some game or as the winning candidate for some job or competition. Social rejection can make or break us.

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Before You Get Up and Go…

Know that, especially during these challenging times, it’s “normal” and very much “okay” to feel a lack of motivation. Know, too, that external motivators, such as those we’ve talked about in this article, can be great tools to get your spark back. We’ve only touched on a few here. There are many more—both external and internal.

Remember that these external motivators, such as incentive motivations, are only as powerful as the importance placed on the reward by the individual. It’s also important to note that if there isn’t an aligned internal motivation, the results will more than likely be short-lived.

For example, losing a certain amount of weight because you want to fit into some outfit you intend to wear at some public event may get you to where you want to be. But will it hold up after your party? Or will those pounds find their way back to you? If you want to be rewarded at work with that trip to the islands because you’ve topped the charts in sales and hustle to make your numbers, will you be motivated again and again for that same incentive? Or will you need more and more to stay motivated?

Viktor Frankl, the 20th-century psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor, and author of the best-selling book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is quoted as having said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” As important as external motivators like incentives may be in influencing behaviors, the key is always to align them with one’s internal “why”—only then will the results be long-lived.

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So, how might incentive motivation influence you and your behavior toward goals? Knowing your answer might keep you energized no matter what your journey and help to further your successes.

Featured photo credit: Atharva Tulsi via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Britannica: Incentive motivation
[2] National Governors Association: COVID-19 Vaccine Incentives
[3] verywellmind: The Incentive Theory of Motivation

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