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How To Instantly Feel Better When You Are Depressed

How To Instantly Feel Better When You Are Depressed

Life is full of setbacks and heartache.

The difference between unsuccessful people and successful people often comes down to one thing: mental toughness.

You can be someone who lets failure derail you, feel like a victim, and tell “your story” of defeat to everyone you know.  Or you can do the most difficult and healthy thing of all: move on and try a different approach to accomplish your goals.

Here are three mental tricks I use to feel better when I want to give up.

1. Give Someone A Genuine, Massive Compliment

The reason this technique works is that it takes the focus off of yourself.  It’s easy to become self-centered and overly focused on your own problems until you realize something very important: EVERYONE feels like this at times.  EVERYONE is insecure about something.

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You aren’t alone, and I’ve found that one of the most therapeutic things you can do is make someone’s day.  Totally out of the blue, give them a massive, genuine compliment.

It can feel a little bit weird to do this over the phone, so I usually cheat and send a text message.

To someone I go running with who is trying to lose weight, I might say “I’m so impressed at your determination, you’re getting faster ,keep it up!”.

To someone I saw at a party last night I might say, “I don’t know what it was about you last night, but you looked really classy/confident/beautiful/etc for some reason. Whatever you are doing, keep it up!”

To someone who has an important interview/game/speech coming up I might say, “You’re going to do great, you’ve worked really hard for this and you deserve it!”

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Your goal should be to make them blush or fill them with confidence.  Make someone else’s day with a massive genuine compliment to take the focus off of yourself and you’ll start to feel better right away.

2. Be Thankful For What You’ve Learned

No matter how bad it is, now matter how much it hurts, no matter how much money you lost….the lesson you learned from it is FAR more valuable, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.

Even if someone TOTALLY took advantage of you or did you wrong, take a minute to actually thank them in your own mind or out loud.  You can bet it will feel strange and it will go against every instinct in your body, but thank them for teaching you such a valuable lesson.  It will make you that much stronger next time.

When an unscrupulous contractor took advantage of me on a real estate deal, I was filled with anger and frustration.  Most of all I was mad at myself for letting him do it.  I ended up taking him to court which caused even more frustration and lost sleep.  But in the end I was able to thank him for teaching me such a valuable lesson.  If I hadn’t had this setback, I would be just as naive.  I wouldn’t know to get a rock solid contract next time.  I wouldn’t know to inspect the property more thoroughly before making the last payment!

The money I lost on that deal has taught me enough to make it back ten fold down the line.  It was worth every penny in education.

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3. Read Some Quotes From The Greats

Finally, when I’m feeling down I like to read some quotes from some of the most successful people of all time.  This is a great reminder that EVERYONE must face setbacks.  In fact, it is a pre-requisite for success.  There is no record of anybody accomplishing anything without MANY setbacks and failures along the way.

Setbacks let you know that you’re making progress.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Success is the ability to move from one failure to the next with enthusiasm.
– Winston Churchhill

Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.
– Ross Perot

Every single peak performing human being, every single high achieving man or woman, has been a person who has thrown off the natural tendency to play it safe and stay within the comfort zone, and has continually tried to exceed their previous levels of accomplishment, has continually moved forward into the risk zone, to try something more and bigger and better and more important. Every single accomplishment in the history of man, has come from men and women who have had the courage to take the risks, to step out even though they had no guarantee or assurance of success…

In studying the lives and stories of the most outstanding men and women of all of history, we find that every single one of them has been a great failure. People do not understand the importance of failure in achievement. The fact is that it is impossible to succeed without failing, that failure is an indispensable prerequisite for success, and that all great success is proceeded by great failure. Every single person who has tried to accomplish something outside the ordinary has suffered setback and obstacle and defeat and adversity and disappointment and heartache over and over again as they have moved toward their goal. There is no record of anybody ever having achieved any kind of success without having failed over and over again. The only difference is that the winners continually pick themselves up and carry on knowing that ultimate success is inevitable as long as they keep on going on.
– Brian Tracy

Feel free to bookmark this post for the next time you feel like crying and giving up. It may come in handy. Life isn’t an easy journey, and the measure of a true champion is not how far you go, it’s how far you bounce back after facing defeat.

I wish you the best.

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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