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12 Qualities We Start To Value When We’re In Our Mid 20s

12 Qualities We Start To Value When We’re In Our Mid 20s

We never stop learning and growing. Every day is another opportunity to become a better person. Sound too simple? It is. There are some common qualities we start to value when we reach our mid 20’s. Please understand that no one is perfect, so I doubt anyone can claim to reflect these qualities every day. But it’s good to have something to aim for, isn’t it?

Focus

“When you connect to the silence within you, that is when you can make sense of the disturbance going on around you.” -Stephen Richards

Focus is eye contact; silencing your phone so you can actively listen to your friend; being aware of the signs an activity might be a time-waster in disguise.

Talent

“Everyone has talent. What’s rare is the courage to follow it to the dark places where it leads.” -Erica Jong

Talent is making it look easy; understanding your strengths and weaknesses so you can use them to your advantage; hustling when you’d rather be playing a video game.

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Patience

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” -A.A. Milne

Patience is doing what it takes; being comfortable with the reality that nothing worth accomplishing will be easy; taking a peaceful walk at the park.

Positivity

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” -Rabindranath Tagore

Positivity is a warm presence; complimenting people at every opportunity; mindfully focusing on empowering thoughts and discarding limiting ones.

Experience

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” -Truman Capote

Experience is an every day story full of plot-twists; an evolutionary process that continues until your death; being willing to admit you don’t have it all figured out.

Passion

“It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank… without passion, we’d be truly dead.” -Angel

Passion is a feeling so powerful that it is impossible to contain; a chaotic force that can bring joy and suffering, leaving us so emotionally exhausted that we need a breather.

Self-awareness

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” -Socrates

Self-awareness is meditation; being curious about why you make the decisions you do; looking at your excuses without judgment, looking for clues that identify the root causes of them (for example, “I’m too busy” often = “I’m over-committed”).

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Trustworthiness

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

Trustworthiness is adding value to the world; only making promises you intend to keep (and apologizing if you don’t); refusing to participate in bullying, office gossip, or speculation about another person.

Ambition

“Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.” -Salvador Dali

Ambition is having a reason to wake up every morning; being excited by your work, because it adds meaning to your life; knowing that it’s better to aim too high and fall short than it is to aim too low and cheat yourself out of personal growth.

Confidence

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” -Hellen Keller

Confidence is believing in yourself; confronting the mental monsters that make you feel like a hopeless victim; presenting yourself in a way that attracts people to you.

Responsibility

Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future. -John F. Kennedy

Responsibility is being brutally honest with yourself; accepting the consequences of your actions, concentrating on the lessons contained that might help you avoid a similar situation in the future.

Creativity

“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.” -Kurt Vonnegut

Creativity is art; believing it is better to innovate than regurgitate; gathering knowledge from a variety of sources, searching for common threads that might reveal a bigger picture.

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Are there any qualities you started to appreciate when you hit your mid 20’s? Tell us in the comments.

Featured photo credit: Woman with Umbrella/Darren Johnson via flickr.com

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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