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7 Empowering Affirmations That Will Help You Be Mentally Strong

7 Empowering Affirmations That Will Help You Be Mentally Strong

Mentally strong people weren’t born that way. They probably used to doubt themselves just like you. To develop confidence in yourself, remember these affirmations that will help you be mentally strong.

1. “Nothing can break me.”

Mentally strong people don’t allow any negative event to destroy them emotionally. It’s okay to get upset, but it’s NOT okay to let your circumstances become a tyrant that steals your joy. It might be helpful to find a role-model who surmounted an obstacle far greater than anything you have ever faced. Stevie Wonder became a master pianist, despite being blind; Thomas Edison invented the light-bulb, despite failing a thousand times; and Buffy the Vampire Slayer prevented the apocalypse, despite struggling with emotional turmoil so severe that she wished she would die.

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2. “I am the CEO of my life.”

Mentally strong people don’t blame other people for their lack of success. We all learn and grow at our own pace, and it is okay to make mistakes (look at these like, “learning opportunities in disguise”)… but it’s NOT okay to refuse to accept personal responsibility. A lot of people don’t view themselves as the powerful CEO they are, but rather a janitor who reluctantly cleans up messes when they must. This self-defeating attitude will result in a purposeless life where you meander through your days without any idea of what you hope to accomplish.

3. “I have the power to choose.”

Mentally strong people don’t agonize over every decision. Planning is often procrastination in disguise. It is okay to make a plan for important matters that include variables that must be considered, but it’s NOT okay to treat trivial things (like what you’re going to wear today) as if it is a life-changing decision. Success is reserved for people who have the courage to act swiftly and decisively, without obsessing over a future outcome that is beyond their control.

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4. “If I don’t believe in myself, why should anyone else?”

Mentally strong people don’t question their abilities. Of course, it is okay to seek knowledge that will make you a stronger person, but it’s NOT okay think every problem can be solved with a textbook solution. Doubting yourself will only discourage you from pursuing difficult (but worthwhile) goals that would make you feel happy and fulfilled. Believing in yourself will encourage you to trust your intuition and open more possibilities than you can imagine.

5. “To take care of others, I must first take care of myself.”

Mentally strong people don’t put the wants of others before their own needs. While it is okay to care for your friends and family, it’s NOT okay to let your health suffer as a consequence. I know it can be hard to find the time to eat healthy and exercise if you’re a busy parent, but don’t you think it would be silly to expect your children to take their health seriously if you’re not a positive example? Your words will have no impact if they aren’t in alignment with your actions.

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6. “My goal is important to me, because ___________.”

Mentally strong people don’t pursue a goal without a passionate reason for doing it. It is okay to get confused about what you want sometimes, but it’s NOT okay to never stop and consider the point. If you want to lose weight, for example, it might be helpful to consider how being fit would benefit you emotionally. Imagine how sexy you would feel when you put on a new skirt for the first time; how strong you would feel when you can carry your grocery bags with ease; how happy you would feel when you can keep up with your kids at the park.

7. “Life is like a video-game. I can push ‘Continue’ as many times as I need to.”

Mentally strong people don’t give up on their dreams just because of temporary defeat. Not all ideas are good ones, so it’s okay to change your mind (even dramatically!) about what you desire from life; but it’s NOT okay to kid yourself into thinking you are a failure. No one ever achieved anything worth doing without first falling on their face a few times. I know some people might look like they experienced a sudden rise to stardom, but I can promise that’s not the case. They probably faced a long list of struggles and hardships that you don’t know about. Your success is not determined by the actions you take initially, but rather your ability to react to unexpected situations in a positive fashion.

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If you’d like to encourage your friends to be mentally strong like you, please click the share button.

Featured photo credit: asa_yoga_meditating/Minoru Nitta via flickr.com

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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