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9 Surprising Benefits of Being Single That No One Has Told You Before

9 Surprising Benefits of Being Single That No One Has Told You Before

I’m convinced most people in long-term relationships are secretly miserable. Sure, it’s nice to have a partner to cuddle with, but relationships can also be terribly inconvenient. If you don’t believe me, consider these surprising benefits of being single:

1. You can travel on a whim.

How do you think a romantic partner would react if you woke up and decided to move overseas, go backpacking through mountains in Iceland, or take a cruise to a tropical destination? They probably wouldn’t be happy if you didn’t include them in that decision (and rightfully so!).

Single people, however, have the freedom to travel without hesitation. If you’re a vagabond at heart, then singlehood might be for you.

2. You can flirt without fear.

Let’s face it: everyone flirts sometimes, whether they are single or not. This flirting is usually innocent in nature, but it could nonetheless lead to an awkward situation if a single person ends up developing feelings for somebody who is romantically involved.

Add an insecure partner to the mix and this awkward situation could quickly turn into a terrible confrontation. If you love to flirt, then singlehood might be for you. 

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3. You can work on yourself.

It is awfully tempting to get complacent when you have a partner.

A survey by UK researchers found that 62% of respondents gained 14 pounds or more after beginning a relationship.[1] This weight gain appears to be a direct consequence of typical date-night activities. When asked to choose their primary bonding activity, 30% of respondents chose “watching television” and 20% chose “eating out.”

If you’d like to concentrate on improving your mind and body, then singlehood might be for you.

4. You can save tons of time.

It’s fun to send flirty texts back and forth, but can you imagine how much time the typical couple spends on their phones?

A lot of people get anxious without constant communication, so those texts and phone calls might add up to a loss of several hours per day. Of course, you could just choose a partner who is more independent, but finding such a creature could be a difficult task.

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If you would rather invest your time in a more productive fashion, then singlehood might be for you.

5. You can sleep in peace and quiet.

Confession: I really, reallyREALLY miss cuddling. I’ve been single for a while, and love it for the most part…but the absence of physical touch has driven me a bit crazy (maybe I should start collecting applications for a cuddle buddy?).

That brings us to the point: even though it’s nice to snuggle, I have a VERY difficult time sleeping next to another person (especially if they snore!). If you know that feeling, then singlehood might be for you.

6. You can become more self-reliant.

Have you ever been through a breakup so emotionally devastating that you couldn’t function for weeks, or months, afterward?

Love is a chaotic force that can be both beautiful and destructive (you do know hurricanes are named after people[2], right?). Passionate feelings cannot and should not be silenced. But never let a person become the single subject of your thoughts, because few relationships are destined for eternal success.

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If you’re not comfortable with that risk, then singlehood might be for you.

7. You can stay in touch with friends.

“Don’t you worry; we’ll stay in touch!” Those words should sound familiar if you have friends who have gotten married and/or had children.

How many of them actually kept their word? Not many, I bet.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise since these major life decisions require the sacrifice of free time and personal freedom. It’s hard to find the time to do much when you have a spouse and child to consider. If you aren’t ready for such a commitment, then singlehood might be for you.

8. You can avoid settling for a bad match.

Almost 50% of marriages in America are destined for failure.[3] You have to wonder how many of those still married stay together due to religious beliefs, financial reasons,[4] or the sake of their children.

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To complete this grim picture, add in how easy it is to settle for a bad match when you’re feeling lonely. If you’re not 100% sure what you expect from a partner, then singlehood might be for you.

9. You can do whatever the hell you want to.

Just like a flower will wither if you don’t water it, a relationship will suffer without proper care and attention.

Do you have a friend who complains about how “needy” her partner is? This complaint could be justified depending on the context, but most people simply underestimate how much time it takes to sustain a healthy relationship.

There is nothing “strange” about wanting your significant other to spend time with you. If you’re not ready to consider the needs of another person, then singlehood might be for you.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Reference

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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1 How to Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship (And Learn to Love Again) 2 How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Dreams Happen 3 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively 4 How To Be Happy Alone and Enjoy Life 5 What Is Self-Worth and How to Recognize Yours

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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