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10 Ways To Let Go Of People Who You No Longer Need In Life

10 Ways To Let Go Of People Who You No Longer Need In Life

You know it’s time. You’ve been needing to divorce the toxic people in your life for months now, but you can’t quite bring yourself to do it. There’s so much history between you, and besides…if you get new friends you’ll have to break them in and catch them up on your story. And who has the time – or the energy – to do all that? And what if no one else shows up to fill the friend void and you’re left all alone…again? But you know these are people you no longer need in your life, and at this point alone is better than five more minutes of misery in their presence. Change can be terrifying, but here are a few ways to take the sting out of the transition from draining to fulfilling in no time flat:

1. Honor YOU!

Society will have you believe it’s everyone else first and you get the leftovers – if there are any. Wouldn’t it be so much more rewarding for everyone if you were whole enough and fulfilled enough to give love and kindness from your overflow, rather than having to dredge up some from an empty reservoir? When you hone in on the pleasures of life you enjoy most – both personally and professionally – you’ll become more refreshed and eager to surround yourself with supportive, uplifting and like-minded people.

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2. Spend time alone.

Time alone with yourself just sounds scary. Nobody really ever wants to stop long enough to look in the mirror, so you just keep going with the status quo. You’re so busy being busy that you lose who you truly are, as well as the dreams that make you unique. You try to fit into a mold that was cast for someone else, and it rarely ever works out well for you. Taking some time to just sit and be with yourself refreshes the soul and mind and helps you figure out who you are and what kind of people you’ll allow in your circle from that point on. If like attracts like, become your own best friend, and soon enough people who truly honor and support you will show up for you.

3. Refocus.

While it’s necessary at times to see things for what they are, continuing to be around people who cause you pain and stress – or who can’t help you through yours because they have so much of their own – can literally be detrimental to your health. Begin to focus on the qualities you desire your friends to have, and before long you’ll be surrounded by people who want to support you as opposed to keeping you stuck in their quicksand of doom.

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4. Determine the floor.

As you begin to honor yourself, many people on the elevator of life will have to get off on a floor far below your penthouse. Be okay with setting your boundaries and allowing the unhealthy friends to live where they’re choosing to live, even if it’s 32 floors beneath you.

5. Discover healthy void-fillers.

Now that you’re a little more in tune with your true self, you’ll have an idea of ways to fill the voids your toxic friends were once filling. Do you like to dance? Take a hip hop class. Is pottery your thing? Connect with a meet-up group for potters. Spending time fostering your passions leaves little room for unhealthy relationships with people who no longer serve you.

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6. Hire a life coach.

Each day you’re doing your absolute best just to survive, and every now and then you get stuck on how to make tomorrow better than today. A life coach is someone who can give you the tools to dig you out of your past habits and thoughts and begin to plant healthy, more fertile seeds of thinking. Whether you use a life coach to help guide you through the tilling phase of gardening, or stick with them through all seasons, it’s imperative to have a qualified support system coaching you through each phase of the process.

7. Read Brené Brown books.

Or watch her Tedx videos on YouTube. Dr. Brown has been researching shame for over 12 years, and she is spot on with the way she’ll gently encourage you to honor yourself enough to let go of everything that is not for your highest purpose – including people.

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8. Spend time with family.

Many times toxic friends start out as escapes from having to deal with your family. In all honesty, dysfunction is the norm when it comes to family dynamics, so embracing the love of your family rather than running from it will also help you release the people who aren’t healthy for you.

9. Journal.

During your alone time, journal. Write about everything. There are very few things more powerful at sorting through your wants and want-nots than putting pen to paper. It clears cluttered spaces in your head for more positive thoughts and “a-ha moments” than any other action on the market. You’ll be able to quickly process each relationship and the lesson it taught you through journaling, making it easier to speak your truth with love and respect to the person whose time it is to move on from your world.

10.Take a break.

Maybe the people you need to let go of are just folks who have been too close for too long. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder, and it also helps you see their good qualities you were attracted to in the first place. Being too close to someone for too long can lead to resentment and nitpicking, so honor both yourself and the other person by giving each of you time to breathe, reassess and reconnect once you’re both in a better space mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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