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Published on October 28, 2019

15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation

15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation

More often than not, we as humans look to create positive momentum in our lives by identifying one massive item that we can adjust to create change and generate motivation. The realistic approach is to take a bite sized strategy to achieve newfound motivation.

With that in mind, I’ve come up with a list of 15 simple things you can do to boost your daily motivation.

1. Identify and Establish a Long Term Goal

Motivation can feel as fickle as the weather man’s daily predictions. But there are numerous ways to boost your daily motivation and ensure that you are on a track of success in your pursuits in life.

When working to achieve that required boost in your pursuit, the first step has to be for you to create a long term, over-arching goal that you will start to work towards.

Rome may have not been built in a day but the idea of what it was to be had to exist before the end result ever materialized.

In the same way, you have to be strategic in creating a long term goal and then working to pursue relentlessly.

The hard part is figuring out the goal: The Surefire Way to Set Long Term Goals and Reach Success

The easy part? Activating that boost in your daily motivation (with the help of the rest of this list, of course!)

2. Target Milestones in Your Daily Pursuit

Keeping your long term goal in mind, the next step in this journey of keeping your motivation levels sky high is to create bite sized goals within the larger goal for you to pursue.

The simple but effective quote comes to mind:

“How does one eat an Elephant? One bite at a time.”

It may be cheesy but the general point remains true. You won’t have any luck losing 50 pounds if you are trying to do so in the span of a week. But if you create target milestones within the long term pursuit of being more fit, then you will experience the joys of the smaller victories that will lead you down the path of achieving that larger goal.

Those small victories will give you a powerful feeling of accomplishment and continue to transform your daily motivational levels for the better.

In time, those victories will compound and your motivation will only continue to grow as you continue to check off more of the boxes towards your overall goal!

3. From Checking Boxes to Cashing Checks

In creating target milestones within your over-arching goal, it is even more important to setup checkpoints within those milestones where you reward yourself for your efforts thus far.

As a parent, it can sometimes be much easier to get my child to comply with a request if I include a small prize for said compliance. We often encourage our daughter to brush her teeth after which we give her a tasty vitamin gummy, and this has helped establish a positive habit in her morning ritual.

If you have identified your target milestones, pick a few of those and add some kind of reward as a pairing with accomplishing that milestone. Much like pairing a delicious cut of cheese with a fine wine!

It really can be anything that you actually believe. It will help incentivize yourself to continue down your path of self-betterment as long as it helps to maintain your motivation, and doesn’t interfere with your long-term goal.

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Keep in mind the reward shouldn’t in itself be a negating factor towards your long term pursuit.

4. Firm Up Your Foundation

Considering the first few steps in boosting your daily motivation levels, have you really spent much time considering the purpose behind your pursuit?

Having a true understanding into the foundation of why you are pursuing a goal will help you to keep after it in the long term.

Do you know why you are trying to pursue that goal?

Spending thought and time defining your purpose behind the pursuit of a long-term goal, will allow for a more successful path and an extended duration of that journey towards the goal.

That strong foundation will serve as a friendly reminder that allows you to keep those motivational levels boosted, and in a place that will lead to continued success as you move forward towards your target milestones.

5. Publicly Commit

I’ve found that when I’m willing to make a more public facing commitment to accomplish something, I have a stronger tendency to push through and maintain my daily motivation in that pursuit.

When more people are aware of your pursuit, the pressure to not fail starts to accumulate on the brain. While pressure at times can be detrimental to a pursuit, I think that a little social pressure can be a healthy thing to keep you focused on the task at hand.

When I know that my parents, significant other, friends, or co-workers are aware of my pursuit, I am more likely to strive towards my end goal with more sincerity.

Similarly, it was much easier for me to workout, exercise, and eat properly in high school when I had a basketball coach that reminded me each day why I was actively pursuing being better.

Now that I’m an adult and don’t have that built-in coach in my life, I find it more challenging to maintain those pushes to be better.

While it is a simple gesture, opening yourself up to the “public” and making a pronouncement of your intentions can serve as a strong motivating tool for you to keep on keeping on.

6. Meet Motivated People

Too often, we make attempts to increase our motivational levels on a day to day basis without examining the people who are influencing our life’s direction.

If you are supposed to be the average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with, where does that leave you?

You should strive to seek out people both in your professional career and in your personal life that are more successful than you are.

If you are lacking motivation in life, try to be in regular contact with friends of yours or peers in the workplace who have the levels of motivation that you desire. Do what you can to learn from them! What empowers them day in and day out to maintain high levels of motivation and accomplish their goals?

7. Develop an Accountability Team

We all have the best intentions when we set out towards any specific goal in our life but, life has that pesky mannerism of getting in our way from time to time which leads to those inevitable collapses in our motivational levels.

This is the time in your journey when a team of friends, family, your significant other (anyone who you’d put in your corner if you were a boxer), need to jump in on your behalf and remind you of what you set out to do originally.

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Sometimes, your accountability team may be a group of strangers that all share a common cause (weight loss groups, group therapy, basketball teammates) and sometimes, they are people with whom you are very intimate.

Whatever it looks like for you, this team to help you maintain your promise to YOU, is so vital to your success when you start coming up on roadblocks to your daily motivational levels.

Keeping this team on speed dial will be a life saver when you have those Monday blues and begin considering the abandonment of a goal. They will be the ones who you can “trust fall” back on and can help pick you back up, inject you with confidence and restore that motivation that you started with!

8. Consider Future Impasses

The prospect of boosting our motivational levels on a day to day basis and maintaining them over the long term is well and good but, you must remember that the road won’t always be silky smooth.

A key aspect of journeying to a better place in your own life and in pursuit of your goals and dreams is considering the direction that you are headed and plan for future successes AND failures.

What obstacles lay ahead of you that you believe you will need to be prepared to face?

Without considering what challenges are to come as you pursue stronger motivation to push forward towards a better life, you will smash into some road blocks that stop you in your tracks.

If you take the time to consider the trajectory of your path through life and mentally set aside the energy and time to consider what pitfalls may come along the way, then when those challenges materialize, you will be more prepared and able to handle them.

Take the time in your pursuits to consider where in your pathway you might come across the flashing hazards signs and know what your game plan to address them will be ahead of time.

The knowing itself is such a huge element that can help you to defeat your proverbial enemies and will allow for your motivation to stay strong!

9. Fuel Your Success

Consider too, not just your mental health a moment to evaluate the fuel you use on a daily basis to give you energy for the day. Are you slamming pizzas in the evening and donuts for breakfast?

Your physical body and how you care for it has a direct and immense impact on your mental state, motivational levels, and energy to get after life in a positive way!

My family has taken steps to discontinue our eating of processed, frozen foods and opted for more whole foods, vegetables, fruits, and grains to fuel our success throughout the week. Instead of snacking on a bag of chips for an afternoon snack, I try to incorporate a cheese stick and some grapes!

Take a look at what it is that you eat on a daily basis and ask yourself if you should make some subtle changes in what you consume to better maintain those energy levels and keep your motivation boosted.

10. Energize Your Pursuit

I’ve got a confession to make and it might sound a bit crazy but here it goes: I love coffee.

Each and every morning, I allow myself a cup to get the day going and on the really tough days when my motivation to get moving for the work day is low, I might even sneak in a second.

I’m amazed at the people who have gone entire lifetimes without utilizing a cup of joe to get their day fired up. I actually question those people’s sanity because who the heck doesn’t like coffee?!

No matter, coffee and/or tea is such a fantastic way to get your body in a routine of fully waking up, activating your awareness and starting the day off on the right foot.

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What better way to boost your daily motivation than to wake up with a fresh injection of caffeine to clear the fog out of the attic? Research from the American Heart Association shows that:[1]

“[Drinking coffee] gives you energy and may help you lose weight and sharpen your mental focus, thanks to the magic of caffeine. Studies have shown that caffeine may improve your mood, help your brain work better and improve performance during exercise.”

That same study did go on to warn readers that while drinking coffee has clear health benefits, the manner in which you take your coffee will play a part in whether it is good for you or not as “fancier drinks” or sugar loaded coffees will end up hurting you more than they help you.

Over consumption of caffeine can be just as bad as well especially if it interrupts your normal sleep cycle.

11. Catch Some Z’s!

According to the National Herat, Lung, and Blood Institute,[2]

“Sleep plays a vital role in good health and well-being throughout your life. […] The damage from sleep deficiency can occur in an instant, or it can harm you over time. [Sleep deficiency] can affect how well you think, react, work, learn, and get along with others.”

When I find myself with a strong lack of motivation at work, I often look to examine my most recent week of sleep habits as that can often play a contributing role into my inability to stay on task and motivated.

Sleep gives our body and mind the time to reset, recharge, and repair the damage that we do in our day to day movements through life, which is why it is so crucial to take the time to get proper rest.

The NHLBI recommends 7-8 hours of sleep for Adults aged 18 years or older which is difficult to achieve at times but, so relevant to your quest to boost those daily motivational levels.

Simply put, if you aren’t sleeping enough, you’ll find little success in your pursuit to have more energy for the areas that you really care about being productive in within your life.

12. Making Moves to Materialize Motivation!

Some of the greatest tools for building up your motivation levels are simple yet superbly effective. Exercise is a huge part of contributing towards a healthy mind and body. If you can get out and exercise on a regular basis, your motivation to continue and exercise will actually increase.

According to a study referenced in the Men’s Journal by the University of Copenhagen,[3]

“moderate exercise could increase your motivation to work out and lead to an all-around healthier lifestyle.”

So just by working out 30 minutes a day, research shows that your desire to continue with that positive behavior will increase. Even if you are just walking for 30 minutes each day as your form of exercise, that can be a great way to take strides towards a healthier mind and body.

The better off you are mentally and physically, the stronger your daily motivation to be better overall and pursue a long-term goal, will be.

13. Know Yourself

You know yourself best and you will be most aware of your internal weaknesses, patterns of behaviors, and path to having a decrease in motivation levels towards a specific goal.

Exercise your self-awareness and plan ahead for potential areas of failure that you have encountered in the past. If you work to navigate away from your previous areas of failure that may have led to a decrease in daily motivational levels, then you will obviously have stronger potential for success.

Maintaining a real grasp on our own bad habits and areas of weakness, and ensuring that we disallow those bad habits to kick back in, or weaknesses to re-materialize are so key to maintaining high motivation levels on a day to day basis.

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Changing habits is hard and is a daily pursuit. But if you can first control your thoughts and responses to a situation, then those conditioned responses will eventually convert into new positive habits, which in turn will eventually recondition your personality and behavior.

All of this work and effort will go far in increasing your day to day motivational levels!

14. Overcome Your Fears

The retreat of motivational levels in my opinion is often related to self-doubt or internal fears creeping into your mind.

So often when we are near the peak of a success, we revert to a previous version of ourselves in our mind and allow fear to dictate our ability to continue on instead of reality.

The truth is that internal fear is a mental block that we often allow to enter the equation, and we allow it to bully us out of a pursuit or aspiration.

However I must emphasize that fear is something that you can overcome!

If you work to face your fears, then you will begin to realize that they don’t have any power unless that power is given to those fears by the individual.

Fear is merely an idea and if you overcome it, you will find that there isn’t much of anything holding you back from success!

Motivation levels will continue to grow as you’ve removed yet another obstacle from your internal thought process and allowed more space in your head to build yourself up, implement positive self-talk, and continue to grow in your confidence.

Take a look at this guide written by Mandie Holgate on how to overcome your fears: How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

15. Pool Your Victories

When you’ve been working at a goal for a long time and painstakingly maintained a strong foundation of motivation throughout the pursuit, it’s just as important that you take the appropriate time to marinate in that victory.

Success doesn’t come easy and it never happens over-night.

Your strive to increase your motivation and do so on a day after day basis is not without pitfalls. But in the end, when you work so hard to keep that effort up and see it through, you will experience the benefits of that journey.

Victory never comes easy, so make sure you give yourself some credit and take the time to appreciate your growth through that journey to be more motivated and reach your long term goals!

Revel in your victory! Count your chickens because after all of that time, patience, hunger and internal doubt, you have finally accomplished your goal.

Even if it is a small victory, with each one that you rack up in your life you will grow your confidence in what you are doing and your motivational levels will benefit because of this.

After you get that initial taste of a win, it builds up your desire to see future success and as a direct result, you will see your motivation grow even stronger and more resilient than it has ever been!

More to Boost Your Motivation

Featured photo credit: Carli Jeen via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] American Heart Association: Is coffee good for you or not?
[2] National Herat, Lung, and Blood Institute: Sleep Deprivation and Deficiency
[3] Men’s Journal: Moderate Exercise Increases Motivation

More by this author

Colton Black

Motivational Coach, Self-Help Blogger, Recording Engineer, Professional Dad

15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation

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Last Updated on November 11, 2019

Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

A dysfunctional family is more than disagreement or constant arguments. Anything from plain neglect, to abuse and even verbal and physical violence is the everyday experience of those who are part of a dysfunctional family.

You know how this looks:

  • Parents constantly comparing children.
  • Siblings in conflict because of tolerated bullying.
  • Domestic violence.
  • Adultery…
  • And many others.

For all the members, this will mean emotional pain and even trauma; which, in case it doesn’t get resolved, will have a detrimental effect on the individual’s personality and development.

Needless to say, the younger members are the most vulnerable, but that doesn’t mean the parents are out of danger, as most commonly the parents play the roles of abuser-codependent, and in some cases, both parts inflicting pain on one another.

Most like to think these problems stem from deep-seated issues, and that therefore it’s pretty much impossible to deal with them.

This is only true for families not willing to do what it takes, for if only a single member is determined and knows how to do it, the whole family can do a lot of progress.

In this article, I’ll break down for you the basic steps of fixing a dysfunctional family. Although it may seem hopeless, it is possible to turn things around.

If you have ever felt in this position, or if you know somebody who is, this article is for you.

How to fix a dysfunctional family

In a few words the solution for a dysfunctional family lies in dropping the ego, focusing on the solution, switching blame for responsibility and doing the work as a unity, for the good of the whole family.

And this will accomplish things you once only saw as a dream.

Dropping the ego? Switching blame for responsibility? Doing the work? What does all this mean?

It’s simple. In a nutshell, it’s that which will allow you to turn a dysfunctional family into a functional one.

Let’s take a look at how exactly this can be done. And near the end we will also talk about what you can do in a dysfunctional family with cynical traits.

Dysfunctional families where not only problems are well-known, but also nobody seems to want a fix or openly decide to perpetuate the harmful behaviors. Such as the case of abuse and physical violence.

There is also a solution for these, it’s just not what you are expecting…

Dysfunctional… Or just average?

Most families are dysfunctional, though at varying degrees of dysfunctionality.

The milder cases, are just marked by “typical” comically-shrouded bullying or lack of interest in other members’ development or wellbeing.

You can know a family is dysfunctional if their interactions are anything different than cooperation, solidarity, care and support. But let’s get more specific…

A dysfunctional family is one in which members directly or indirectly suffer emotional and/or physical harm inflicted by other members of their family. Most commonly, perpetrated by the parents.

Even harmful actions as “passive” as neglect, which is inflicted by inaction rather than action, signifies a dysfunction within the family.

Dysfunctional families have conflicts such as:

  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Lack of interest and time spent together
  • Sexism
  • Utilitarianism
  • Lack of empathy
  • Unequal or unfair treatment
  • Disrespect towards boundaries
  • Control Issues
  • Jealousy
  • Verbal and physical abuse
  • Violence and even sexual misconduct or abuse

You may think a dysfunctional family has very little or nothing to do with personal productivity, but you would be wrong in thinking this way…

If a person is not emotionally well, she will not be able to perform as desired, as the emotional harm that has been inflicted will hinder everyday performance in the way of inability to concentrate, lack of mental clarity and low levels of inspiration, motivation and discipline.

Having a functional family does exactly the opposite: It creates productive members with no emotional baggage.

How to turn it around

When you’re part of a dysfunctional family you know it. You can quickly identify in other members the behaviors and conflicts that create the dysfunction.

But just in case you’re having trouble telling functional from dysfunctional I will tell you the following:

One of the easiest ways you can recognize if you are in a dysfunctional family is to survey your won feelings.

We often overlook this, but have you stopped to ask yourself how you feel?

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As cheesy as it may sound it really sheds a lot of light on the subject.

What behaviors, actions and attitudes in your family you wish were better?

Do you think certain behaviors and actions from your family marked you in the past?

Sadly, we cannot go back to the past to correct it. But we can do a lot in the present…

Correction is possible

In order to fix a dysfunctional family, you must start by putting an end to the behaviors and actions that are affecting you.

Verbalize it.

All members of the dysfunctional family have one issue in common: They don’t put a stop to the harm.

Whenever you feel your boundaries being overstepped there is just one single word you have to remember: STOP.

This is the door to a better, more functional family, because after this, comes the fix.

But first you have to identify and make others know where exactly lies the problem.

So go ahead and fearlessly start with “Stop”, followed by your expression of dissatisfaction.

Putting it to work in real life

In real life it would be something like this:

“OK, stop! Every time you belittle me I feel you don’t care. I need attention and respect, and it is your responsibility as my family to provide them to me”

Or:

“Stop. When you compare me with my cousin it hurts, I feel like I don’t matter and that’s not ok. I ask you to stop doing it.

Or:

“Please stop. When you start yelling all respect is lost and it turns into a battle of who can do it louder. Don’t raise your voice and let’s work this out the way humans do”.

As you can see, here you start by putting a stop to the toxic behavior when it arises. And afterwards you verbalize why it’s wrong and what needs of you need to be fulfilled.

This is what you have to remember:

1-Stop.

2-Why it’s wrong?

3-What you need.

And this will also work well in case you need to do it for another family member.

It’s a family thing

A dysfunctional family cannot be fixed by one member alone.

Yes, a single member can initiate progress and be the leader of the change. But in order to completely become functional all members must contribute to the solution.

In other words, you will need cooperation…

So don’t be afraid of asking for it!

Approach your family member and ask to be listened.

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We sometimes feel our needs are “not that important” or we simply believe they won’t listen. But thinking like this would be like being defeated at an unfought battle.

You will be amazed by how much people listen when you voice your needs, especially if it implies showing yourself open, vulnerable and in need.

It’s not a free-for-all battle

In order to get your family to cooperate, first you must fix your individual relationships with every member of the family. Remember: Relationships are always between two people, and two people only.

No matter how complex, the quality of a multi-member relationship (like a family) will always depend on the quality of the individual relationships.

Once you have straightened the relationship with every member of the dysfunctional family you will be able to better communicate with other members and help in the betterment of their individual relationship.

And this is where we will talk about the fix itself. The one I mentioned in the introduction…

The method

1. Drop the ego

Wherever there is conflict there is ego.

You cannot fix a relationship where there is ego, because the ego will want to win. Always. Yours and the other person.

Ego craves control and satisfaction, and in many cases, to establish dominance.

What does this have to do with a dysfunctional family? Everything. Ego will interfere with every plan you have to fix it.

It will make people suborn and defensive. And it will also make them drop responsibility. This is why, the first step is to drop the ego.

After you make sure you are not going to allow your ego to interfere you must work to make the other person do the same. How? By speaking from the heart…

Tell the other person how important all this is to you.

Tell the other person that it’s not a matter of arguing, but just working things out together.

Point out how it is not possible for you to do it alone.

And ask for sincere attention without any desire of opposition, because what you are doing is by no means in the hopes of harming the other person, but just to better the relationship and stop the damage being dealt to you.

You will have to point out the mistakes you need corrected, that’s for sure. And that leads me to the next point…

2. Not blame, but responsibility

When talking about others’ mistakes we often use an accusatory tone. And that’s natural, it’s what things should be like if ego was not present.

But since we are all creatures of ego, this immediately brings the shields up. And then unsheathes the swords…

When we blame others they automatically enter a defensive state, and this only leads to a failed negotiation.

What you need to do is to shift from blame to responsibility. And even that will have to be done carefully!

Instead of telling them off or demanding change or complaining, calmly point what the problem with their behavior is.

As much as this feels contradictory, also make them feel understood. You know how difficult it is to accept a mistake, so just make them feel it’s no big fuzz… which does not mean it’s ok, but it takes tension off.

You will do something like this:

“Hello dad. Can I talk with you for a minute? I really need to tell you something.

I have been feeling pretty sad lately and I know this is something you do care about.

You see, whenever I talk about my accomplishments you mention something else that makes my achievement pale in comparison.

I know you don’t do this intentionally and I know you might have not realized this until now, but I want to let you know this really brings me down.

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It would mean a lot to me if you could stop doing it, and it would help better our relationship, because this has already forced me to distance myself from you. And I don’t want that, I want a good, healthy relationship with you”

What happened here?

We started off with making it something important, something that needs both time and attention. Then we openly show ourselves vulnerable, just as we are.

We also mention why he should listen, and shove our feelings there again, because they are important.

We describe the issue with no attachment and with no hostile intention. It’s just a description.

And then we take the blame off. Just before we assign responsibility without actually saying it.

You are not blaming him directly, but you are pointing out the inevitable fact that his actions are causing a dysfunctionality. He is now responsible for changing.

This is what “switching blame for responsibility” means. What comes next? Doing the work!

3. Doing the work

What would any of this mean if, in the end, nothing changes? Exactly, nothing!

This is why you must follow up with every change that needs to be done.

Do so in a manner that is not hostile. Bring it up in a casual manner, and emphasizing how you both reached an agreement and how that is important to the family.

If the person doesn’t follow up don’t hesitate to bring it up again, and tell them you feel disappointed that your honest try at it was not listened.

It may even be a subject in itself, and therefore the need for another conversation.

“When you go back to old habits it shows that you didn’t really care about what I said. But back in real life you just reinforce how much contempt you show towards me and my feelings.

I talk with you because I care. Because although it would be easier for me to just distance myself from you I rather do my part in nurturing this relationship.

But there is just so much I can do, if you refuse to do your part I can do nothing else.”

You need very clear and positive communication in order to make this work.

Love is all you need

You must remember that in order for a dysfunctional family to become functional, all the work needs to stem from love.

That is the single one requirement for all this to work: Love.

And what happens if it simply is not there?

What happens if, nobody is willing to do what it takes?

What happens if a member of the family refuses to change and is happy with the harm he or she is dealing?

There is only one thing you can do:

To break away.

Let’s be honest, people, especially adults, are very difficult to change.

There is a Jewish proverb that I love, which sums it up like this:

“We spend the rest of our lives trying to unlearn what we learned before we were 7”

If you find it very hard to change the very traits that make your family dysfunctional or if it’s simply impossible, you still have a card up your sleeve…

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Although nobody likes to beak away from family members, we must remember we have a responsibility with ourselves as individuals, before any relationship with anyone.

You have the responsibility of making yourself happy and free. Because you matter as an individual, regardless of any relationships you have, be it family, friendship or romantic.

Putting distance

So in case you are dealing with a family member who is simply unwilling to change take both physical and emotional distance.

What do I mean?

Learn, first, to take their damage in a detached manner.

Don’t let it hurt you further. Instead take a deep breath and distance yourself emotionally.

Don’t be attached to feelings such as “Why doesn’t she love me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” or “If he wasn’t like that my life would be perfect”.

Simply refuse to keep participating in the emotional downward spiral and accept, even if it’s painful” that there is nothing you can do. Accept that even without that relationship you are whole, you are worthy of love and respect.

They are their responsibility and you are yours. So decide what is best for you.

Realize it only comes down to two possibilities:

I keep the relationship and therefore accept the abuse. Or…

I choose my peace of mind.

And don’t let your mind fool you. We often think that since we all are imperfect, we must take the good and the bad behaviors of people. And we are especially forgiving towards our family…

Well, guess what? We are also responsible adults who are aware and must own to their acts. Never excuse abuse or violence or transgression towards you or anybody else.

Choose your happiness and if possible, also distance yourself physically, as it will increase your peace of mind tenfold.

How to prevent it

There are two key concepts you must bear in mind in order to prevent the dysfunctionality of a family:

  • To be completely aware of one’s own mistakes and not allow them to impact others and…
  • To make sure our SO’s are also on the same channel before creating a family (i.e. having children)

Dysfunctional families are the product of irresponsible paternity, for the decades-long unresolved emotional conflict ends up surfacing in the family inevitably, and it will for sure harm those who least deserve it: Innocent children.

You may notice we went from talking about family, to talking about individual relationships, to talking about you. We went from “them” to “us” to “me”.

Why? Because in the end you have the power to fix a dysfunctional family. To correct the mistakes you have in yours and to prevent dysfunctionalities if you don’t have a family but plan to create one.

Priorities and clear thought

You may be part of a dysfunctional family, but that does not mean you are powerless or that you have to suffer the consequences.

You learned today how it’s all a matter of priorities and thinking clearly.

You learned that, if love exists, everything is possible. You learned that even when there is no love and no fix for your dysfunctional family, there are still things you can do. It’s a matter of choosing your peace, because you deserve it.

Everything will be better if you apply this knowledge. If you talk to that problematic family member. If you help them see the harm they are doing. If you make sure they do change and treat you the way you need to be treated…

If you choose yourself over that toxic family member. If you refuse to justify the harm that others can do to yourself. If you realize the most important relationship you have is with yourself.

And lastly, that you also have to be aware of your actions and be open to criticism. Because we might be unknowingly harming others. And that would be us creating a dysfunctionality. Don’t allow it to happen.

Dysfunctional families are not impossible to fix. It just takes love, cooperation and responsibility.

But if you tried and those elements are not present, just choose yourself instead.

Featured photo credit: Xavier Mouton Photographie via unsplash.com

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