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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

8 Things To Do When You Want To Give Up

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8 Things To Do When You Want To Give Up

Like a lot of people, I have felt the urge to give up on something. It’s easy to get to a point where it seems as though the time you’ve invested in a dream or goal and the time of fruition can be very daunting.

There are cycles of excitement, enthusiasm, creativity, and they are followed by despair, discouragement, and the desire to quit.

Why Do We Give Up Easily?

Our brains are wired to giving up easily, it’s normal. Human beings are believed to act upon the “Pleasure Principle,” the instant gratification:[1]

Instant gratification is the desire to experience pleasure or fulfilment without delay or deferment. Basically, it’s when you want it; and you want it now.

Our brains are wired to immediate rewards in return. We’re born to look for instant gratification because in the ancient times, getting immediate benefits was essential for survival. We are very much present-oriented, and so when we’re not getting what we want immediately, we get anxious and want to give up.

Yes, so once in a while, wanting to give up is normal. But giving up is not okay.

Maybe you’re disappointed or tired because you haven’t succeeded yet after lots of trials, or maybe you’re experiencing one of these: Why We Lose Motivation Once in a While and How to Fix It

But don’t you give up yet because nothing worth having comes easy.

The Consequence of Giving Up Too Early

Instant success is a myth, always. Many successful people failed hundreds of times, if they chose to give up instead of working harder to reach their goals, they would never succeed.

For example, Walt Disney had been fired by a newspaper editor before because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” If he gave up imagining and dreaming about big ideas, he wouldn’t have found the successful Disney business.

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And let’s take the famous soccer player David Beckham as another example. He had a down time after he received a red card in the World Cup match against Argentina in 1998. The England team couldn’t make it to the next round and everyone hated him and blamed him for that. If Beckham gave up playing soccer, we wouldn’t see the successful player leading different teams and becoming one of the most legendary players in history.

If you give up now, you’re giving up the very bright future and great results you will get.

Find out in this article why Giving up Is Not an Option.

8 Things To Do When You Feel Like Giving Up

Do what your future self will thank you for, not regret. Here’re 8 things to do when you feel like you want to give up.

1. Remember Why You Started and How Much You Really Wanted It

Think back to the moment that this project, goal, or concept was conceived. Remember the joy and thrill of the adventure ahead? At the beginning, you had a goal in mind; a beautiful picture etched in your mind of the finished task. Beginning was simple; carrying through has become difficult.

Going back to the beginning brings into focus the purpose of your endeavor. The memory of anticipation of the job accomplished is stirred up again when you begin to contemplate the reason you began in the first place. Breathe in deep and recall your purpose.

Use a little help from this Worksheet For Instant Motivation Boost for free and clear your mind. So you can refocus your mind and regain your lost motivation. Grab your free worksheet and keep moving forward!

2. Look Into the Reason Why You Want to Give Up.

The feelings of wanting to quit can be overwhelming. The generalized feeling isn’t clear; look at the reasons why you want to quit. Are you physically tired? Have you been consumed with things and not taken care of yourself in the process? Do you feel little support? Are you lacking ability? Have you come up against some difficulties that you are unprepared for? Do you need to just take a step back before continuing on?

There are many reasons why you may want to quit. Be diligent in figuring out what the real issues are and tackle them specifically. Once you see what is causing the feeling, you can address it.

Try to do an audit of your life and figure out the reason: How to Get Your Life Back on Track When Things Are Out of Control

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3. Picture in Your Mind the Ultimate Result

Keep in your mind the picture of the end result. A visualization of what you want to accomplish will keep you moving forward. I mean, seriously, you don’t want to stop partway through. The feeling of being a quitter isn’t pleasant. You are a winner! Remember the slogan: the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat!

Whenever you want to quit, ask yourself, do you want the thrill of victory? Or would you rather the agony of defeat? Press on; you can do this. This is how you can stay motivated and persevere even during the difficult times.

To learn to always stay motivated even during the difficult times, join the Fast Track Class – Activate Your Motivation for free. It’s a focused 30-minute session that will help you build your own motivation engine and keep yourself motivated. Join the free class here.

4. Make a Plan and Have a Backup

Before you undertake anything, always have an outlined plan of action.

There are various ways this can be done. You can write a list, make a breakout chart, or form a checklist for tasks completed along the way. By having a plan in place, when you feel like giving up you can look at the plan and refocus on the steps needed to reach the goal.

Also, have a backup plan in mind before beginning; this way when you are frustrated and want to give up, you will have an alternative plan to put in action.

Life will knock you down sometimes, but don’t give up!

5. Find Support From Others

Don’t isolate yourself or hide your feelings of frustration, and don’t be afraid to seek support from others. Reach out to family, friends, co-workers or even online forums to find someone that you can talk to and rid yourself of what is dragging you down and causing you to want to quit.

I promise there are so many other people out there that are struggling with feelings of doubt, fear and frustration just like you are. Finding another person who has gone through a similar crisis will strengthen your resolve and help you get back on course.

Here’re more ways to help you feel inspired: How to Feel Inspired When You’ve Lost Motivation

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6. Be Grateful for the Good Things While Struggling.

Yes, you may feel like giving up. Yes, you are struggling. Yes, you are overwhelmed at the moment. I know this may seem like a strange thing to say, but remember to be grateful. This is essential in a resilient mindset.

Whenever you feel like giving up, stop and make a list of the things you are grateful for in your life. You have so much positivity in your life to be thankful for. When you shift your focus to becoming grateful for all things, tasks that seem overwhelming take on a new light. The way you look at the situations around you depends on the attitude with which you view them. Take on an attitude of gratitude and you will be amazed at the difference it makes.

Learn how to be more resilient: 17 Ways for Building Resilience and Staying Tough

7. Celebrate Your Victories, No Matter How Small They Seem

You deserve to acknowledge all the victories that you have made along the way. Instead of feeling overwhelmed at all that you have left to do, write out a list of accomplishments you have already completed, no matter how small they may seem.

By celebrating your progress, you will renew your energy to complete what you are doing. When you see all that you have done, it will excite you to take further action until the finish line.

Don’t give up!

8. Have Motivational Reminders Everywhere

Here’re some of my favorite motivational quotes, make them your wallpaper or just have the quotes stuck on your desk! Just don’t give up! Never, ever give up!

Never give up on something you really want. It’s difficult to wait but more difficult to regret.

    The expert in anything was once a beginner.

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      Everyone must choose one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

        Crawling is acceptable. Falling is acceptable. Pain is acceptable. Quitting is now.

          Don’t give up what you want most in life for something you think you want now.

            More Tips to Keep You Going

            Featured photo credit: Galen Crout via unsplash.com

            Reference

            More by this author

            Charlene Tops

            Charlene is a certified life coach who is passionate about writing, speaking and teaching.

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            Published on September 27, 2021

            What Is Incentive Motivation And Does It Work?

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            What Is Incentive Motivation And Does It Work?

            We’ve all needed a bit of inspiration at some time in our lives. In the past year or two, that need most likely has grown. Who hasn’t been trying to shed those extra pounds we put on during the pandemic? Who hasn’t felt the need to fake a little enthusiasm at joining yet another Zoom call? Who hasn’t been trying to get excited about trekking back into the office for a 9 to 5 (longer if you add in the commute)? Feeling “meh” is a sign of our times. So, too, is incentive motivation, a way to get back our spark, our drive, and our pursuit of the things we say we want most.

            In this article, I’ll talk about what incentive motivation is and how it works.

            What Is Incentive Motivation?

            Incentive motivation is an area of study in psychology focused on human motivation. What is it that gets us to go from couch potato to running a marathon? What spurs us to get the Covid vaccine—or to forgo it? What is it that influences us to think or act in a certain way? Incentive motivation is concerned with the way goals influence behavior.[1] By all accounts, it works if the incentive being used holds significance for the person.

            The Roots of Incentive Motivation

            Incentive motivation’s roots can be traced back to when we were children. I’m sure many of us have similar memories of being told to “eat all our veggies” so that we would “grow up to be big and strong,” and if we did eat those veggies, we would be rewarded with a weekend trip to a carnival or amusement park or playground of choice. The incentive of that outing was something we wanted enough to have it influence our behavior.

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            Growing up, incentive motivation continues to play a major role in what we choose to do. For example, while we may not have relished the idea of spending years studying, getting good grades, pursuing advanced degrees, and graduating with sizeable debt from student loans, a great many of us decided to do just that. Why? Because the end goal of a career, a coveted title, and the associated incentives of financial reward and joy in doing something we love were powerful motivators.

            One researcher who believes in the power of incentive motivation is weight management expert, co-author of the book State of Slim, and co-founder of the transformational weight loss program of the same name, Dr. Holly Wyatt. Her work with her clients has proven time and again that when motivation fizzles, incentives can reignite those motivational fires.

            “Eat more veggies, exercise, keep track of my weight: These things and more DO work, but bottom line, you gotta keep doing them. Setting up rituals and routines to put your efforts on auto-pilot is one way. And along the way, the use of both external and internal motivators helps keep people on track. External motivation sources are those things outside of ourselves that help to motivate us. They’re powerful, like pouring gasoline on a fire. But they may not last very long. Internal motivators are more tied into the reasons WHY we want to reach our goals. In my State of Slim weight loss program, we spend a lot of time on what I call ‘peeling back the onion’ to find the WHY. I think the internal motivators are more powerful, especially for the long-term, but they may take longer to build. They’re the hot coals that keep our motivational fires burning.”

            Examples of Incentive Motivation

            In the way of incentive motivation, specific to the external motivators, Dr. Wyatt challenges her clients to commit to changing just one behavior that will help them reach their weight loss goals. Clients must then agree to a “carrot” or a “stick” as either their reward for accomplishing what they say they will do or as their punishment for falling short. Those incentives might be something like enjoying a spa day if they do the thing they said they would do or sweating it out while running up and down the stairwell of their apartment building a certain number of times as punishment for not following through.

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            Whatever they choose, the goal must be something they really want, and the incentive must be something that matters to them enough to influence their behaviors in reaching those goals. Some people are more motivated by some sort of meaningful reward (a carrot) whereas, other people are more motivated by some sort of negative consequence or the taking away of a privilege (the stick).

            Another example of incentive motivation is playing out currently with companies and government entities offering perks to people who get the Covid vaccine. Nationwide, offers are being made in the way of lottery tickets, cash prizes, concert seats, free admission to events and discounts for food, and even free drink at local restaurants and bars. The list of incentives being offered to the public to increase vaccination rates is pretty extensive and quite creative.[2]  These incentives are financial, social, and even hit on moral sensibilities. But is this particular incentive motivation working?

            Remember that a key to incentive motivation working is if the individual puts importance on the reward being received on the ultimate goal. So, not all incentives will motivate people in the same way. According to Stephen L. Franzoi, “The value of an incentive can change over time and in different situations.”[3]

            How Does Incentive Motivation Differ from Other Types of Motivators?

            Incentive motivation is just one type of motivating force that relies on external factors. While rewards are powerful tools in influencing behaviors, a few other options may be more aligned with who you are and what gets you moving toward your goals.

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            Fear Motivation

            In many ways, being motivated by fear is the very opposite of being motivated by incentives. Rather than pursuing some reward, it’s the avoidance of some consequence or painful punishment that sparks someone into action. For example, married couples may “forsake all others” not out of love or commitment but out of a fear that they may be “taken to the cleaners” by their spouses if their infidelities are revealed.

            Another example wherein fear becomes the great motivator is one we’re hearing about more and more as we’re coming out of this pandemic—the fear of being poor. The fear of being poor has kept many people in jobs they hate. It’s only now that we see a reversal as headlines are shining a light on just how many workers are quitting and refusing to go back to the way things were.

            Social Motivation

            Human beings are social creatures. The desire to belong is a powerful motivator. This type of social motivation sparks one’s behavior in ways that, hopefully, result in an individual being accepted by a certain group or other individuals.

            The rise of the Internet and the explosion of social media engagement has been both positive and negative in its power to motivate us to be included among what during our school days would be called “the cool kids” or “cliques” (jocks, nerds, artsy, gamers, etc.). We probably all have experienced at one time or another the feelings associated with “not being chosen”—whether to be on a team to play some game or as the winning candidate for some job or competition. Social rejection can make or break us.

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            Before You Get Up and Go…

            Know that, especially during these challenging times, it’s “normal” and very much “okay” to feel a lack of motivation. Know, too, that external motivators, such as those we’ve talked about in this article, can be great tools to get your spark back. We’ve only touched on a few here. There are many more—both external and internal.

            Remember that these external motivators, such as incentive motivations, are only as powerful as the importance placed on the reward by the individual. It’s also important to note that if there isn’t an aligned internal motivation, the results will more than likely be short-lived.

            For example, losing a certain amount of weight because you want to fit into some outfit you intend to wear at some public event may get you to where you want to be. But will it hold up after your party? Or will those pounds find their way back to you? If you want to be rewarded at work with that trip to the islands because you’ve topped the charts in sales and hustle to make your numbers, will you be motivated again and again for that same incentive? Or will you need more and more to stay motivated?

            Viktor Frankl, the 20th-century psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor, and author of the best-selling book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is quoted as having said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” As important as external motivators like incentives may be in influencing behaviors, the key is always to align them with one’s internal “why”—only then will the results be long-lived.

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            So, how might incentive motivation influence you and your behavior toward goals? Knowing your answer might keep you energized no matter what your journey and help to further your successes.

            Featured photo credit: Atharva Tulsi via unsplash.com

            Reference

            [1] Britannica: Incentive motivation
            [2] National Governors Association: COVID-19 Vaccine Incentives
            [3] verywellmind: The Incentive Theory of Motivation

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