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Published on March 6, 2020

How to Build Loyalty in Your Relationship

How to Build Loyalty in Your Relationship

The definition of loyal is faithful allegiance. So, what does that mean in relationship?

Knowing you have loyalty in a relationship is knowing that your partner always has your back, and that you can count on them through thick and thin. This provides stability and a strong foundation that’s imperative for any relationship to go the distance.

A great example in how this shows up in a relationship is when after a hectic day at work, your partner provides a sounding board to vent your feelings and emotions from the roller coaster you experienced. This not only enhances interpersonal communication, but provides another crucial layer of vulnerability in your relationship.

Some foundational characteristics of loyalty are respect, communication, affection, intimacy, vulnerability, and compassion.

Loyalty is being dedicated to not only your partner, but to the relationship and each other. To know that you are fully committed to one another, and to realize how any individual decision must be considered in how it impacts your partner and your relationship.

In my relationship, this shows up by not just the ‘big things’ we do for each other every now and again, but in the ‘little things’ we do for each other on a daily basis that adds to our emotional Love Bank Account.

One idea for filling the emotional bank account is to create a jar of things you love about your partner. You can give this to them as a gift and have them draw one item out each day, so they are reminded of why you love them. Reading it out loud will remind you as well.

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Loyalty is a beautiful alchemy of respect and reliability. It’s the maturity in knowing that all relationships have their ebb and flows, the good and not so good times. Are you going to just throw in the towel when things get rough? Or do you roll up your sleeves and figure out how to improve your relationship and truly be there for your partner? The key in reliability is knowing unequivocally that you can always count on having each other’s backs no matter what.

Loyalty is making your partner your best friend. You are 100% committed to them and on their side. You may not always agree, but you don’t hold each other’s hostage by making the other person wrong. This is the person you want to spend most of your time with. While it’s okay to have separate hobbies and interest, your partner is the first person you want to call when you have good news. They are also the first person you want to call when you need help.

Loyalty is the desire to see your partner and your relationship succeed. Everything you do, everything you say, and all that you are is invested in your relationship with your partner. You’re determined to be a successful couple living your fairy tale love story together.

You are your partner’s staunchest advocate and your desire is for them to be the best version of themselves in order to push you to be your very best that ultimately makes you the happiest couple you know!

The Keys to Loyalty in a Relationship

Being Authentic to Yourself and Your Partner

In the beginning of a relationship, if you try to be who your partner wants you to be, they may later feel like there was bait and switch.

My marriage ended in divorce after 13 years. For many of those years, I felt betrayed by my ex who showed up initially in the relationship to woo and court me.  After we were married, those romantic gestures became fewer and farther between. In the end, I felt deceived, as the man I thought I married, was actually very different than the man he was at his core.

So be sure to be true to yourself and your partner.

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Being Monogamous

In romantic relationships, the first thing that comes to mind is fidelity. If you and your partner are loyal in your relationship, you will be monogamous. Sometimes disloyalty comes in the form of an emotional affair which is just as dangerous. Having an emotional bond or connection with someone else is a form of being unfaithful.

How do you know if it’s a relationship to avoid? Some signs are if you have a physical attraction to your friend, whenyou share intimate thoughts or details about your romantic partnership with them. Other signs include If your mate is unaware of your relationship; and if you behave differently around your friend if your mate were present. These are all warning signs that you are involved in an emotional affair or are on the slippery slope of one.

Never Having to Hide Anything From Your Partner

Standing by your partner in both good and bad times even when you may not agree with their actions. It’s standing by them and supporting them even when the going gets tough.

How to Build Loyalty in Your Relationship

While we have gone over some of the common ways to show loyalty in relationship, people are different and have different beliefs and values.

Before you can build trust and loyalty, you need to understand what it means to your partner and be on the same page to build a long-lasting relationship.

1. Keep Promises and Secrets

Be sure to keep your promises and don’t keep secrets from one another.

2. Leave Your Judgement out of It

Be sure to respect each other and your differences without judgement. Although you may not understand why certain things are important to your partner, what is important is that it matters to your partner.

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Communicate, communicate, communicate: How to Improve Communication in Relationships and Increase Intimacy

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Vulnerable

Honesty and vulnerability are keys to building loyalty and trust in relationship. In fact, there’re plenty of benefits for being vulnerable: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

When you live your truth, your partner will be more comfortable living theirs.

4. Be Forgiving

Forgiveness is essential in building and maintaining loyalty. We all make mistakes, and being quick to forgive is important. Don’t hold grudges about past transgressions as this will only erode the relationship.

Letting go of the hurt, accepting the apology, and moving on builds a trust based on truth and love. Knowing that we are human, that we make mistakes and our partner will accept us as we are is key to building trust and loyalty.

5. Be Committed to Working on Yourself

Personal growth and development not only make you a better person, but significantly improve your relationship. It’s important to grow as individuals and to grow together as a couple.

Like they say on the airplanes, place your own oxygen mask on first before helping those around you. If we’re not taking care of ourselves, we certainly can’t be there fully and completely for our partner. This ultimately creates a deeper bond and significantly adds to the Love Bank Account.

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Always remember, you’re either ripe and rotting or green and growing.

Here’re some tips to help you: 30 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself

Final Thoughts

The importance of loyalty and continuing to build upon it are crucial in allowing a relationship to not just survive, but to ultimately thrive.

We all desire the safety and security of a loyal relationship that brings out our best qualities individually as well as those as a couple. It’s this warmth, comfort and deep knowing that our bond and commitment can survive any adversity that comes our way.

More Tips to Enhance Your Relationship

Featured photo credit: Jonathan Borba via unsplash.com

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Dana Lam

Dana is a busy mom of two boys, author and co-founder of the Surprise Date Challenge.

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Last Updated on June 3, 2020

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

What is success?

Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

1. Success is always doing your best.

Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

3. Success is having a place to call home.

Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

5. Success is believing you can.

If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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7. Success is taking care of your needs.

Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

11. Success is overcoming fear.

Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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12. Success is learning something new each day.

Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

14. Success is loving and being loved back.

Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

16. Success is not giving up.

Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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17. Success is celebrating small victories.

Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

The Bottom Line

Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

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Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

Reference

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