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No Matter What You Say, the First Thing People Pay Attention to Is Only How You Say It

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No Matter What You Say, the First Thing People Pay Attention to Is Only How You Say It

Regardless of the communication methods that we use in the modern age, we have a tendency to focus heavily on the words that we use to interact with others.

While words are a seminal part of engaging others, however, successful interpersonal communication relies on a number of additional factors such as body language, facial expressions and the overall context that relates to each message.

If you believe that the content of your message is more important than its delivery, you are misunderstanding interpersonal communication.

In this article, we are going to delve deeper into the numerous types of interpersonal communication that exist, so that you can determine which best suits your personality and outlook as an individual.

We will also be providing you with actionable items that you can follow right away, many of which can be used to influence your interpersonal communications going forward.

There are three main types of interpersonal communication.

The following types of interpersonal communication are what most of us use every day, but we probably aren’t very aware of each of their impact on our everyday interactions.

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1. Verbal Communication: Speaking and Listening

The main and most evolved type of interpersonal communication is verbal, as this combines numerous elements such as message, tone and in some instances nonverbal cues (more on this below).

Verbal communication includes both speaking and listening, both of which contribute towards successful and progressive communications.

We can also communicate verbally across a range of channels, most typically in-person or over the phone.[1] In the digital age, we can also converse through video messaging resources like Facebook and various video messaging apps.

2. Written Communication: Writing and Texting

In many ways, written communication offers a safe haven for those who struggle to express themselves or interact openly with others. While it is possible to communicate both formally or informally in writing, this medium places a stronger emphasis on the message in question and eliminates factors such as tone and body language.

Once again, however, modern technology has created more spontaneous and accessible channels for written communication. From SMS messaging to Twitter microblogs, written communication has gradually become increasingly more diverse and real-time in its delivery.

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3. Nonverbal Communication: Gestures and Body Languages

We have already touched on nonverbal communication, which can occur whenever we interact with others in person (or through video chat). This can manifest itself in a number of different ways during real-time communication, including facial expressions, body language and related hand gestures.

This type of communication is the most difficult to interpret, as it is completely subjective and hard to observe while participating in a verbal conversation. It is also the most fascinating type of interpersonal communication, however, and one that can add context (and in some instances contradict) the words that we use.

Adapt these universal tips to improve your day-to-day communication.

With these points in mind, it is easy to understand the diverse nature of interpersonal communication. Fortunately, there are a number of actionable and universal tips that enable you to improve your interpersonal skills, including the following:

Facts are not the be-all and end-all.

While facts are a central part of any conversation, particularly in the workplace, those with superior interpersonal skills understand that they are not the only consideration. After all, you can you can spend as much time as you like researching the content and the accuracy of your facts, but this means little if you do not deliver them in a convincing and engaging manner that invokes feeling.[2]

The recent election in the U.S. provided a relevant case in point, as while Democratic candidate Hilary Clinton failed to resonate with voters despite her considered approach to interpersonal communication, her rival Donald Trump flourished amid a number of inaccurate claims and fabrications.

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This has much to do with Trump’s emotive and colloquial delivery, which appealed to many voters’s fears, insecurities and partisan biases.

There is a difference between tactile and sugar coating your message.

As anyone who has ever received bad news can testify, there is nothing worse than instances when somebody sugar coats their message. After all, on occasions where individuals are laid off from work or given bad new by doctors, those delivering the message tend to establish the tone with their nonverbal communication long before they begin to talk.

While it is important to deliver any bad news tactfully, you also have a duty to be direct and emphasize the full gravity of your message for the benefit of the listener. This avoids confusion and creates a genuine sense of understanding, while it also ensures that the listener does not feel patronized or as though you are being insincere.

Finally, consider the message, context, noise, feedback and channel when communicating with others.

While all communications start with an underlying message and the words to deliver this, you need to ensure that you consider the other elements that contribute to progressive, interpersonal communication.[3]

The first consideration outside of your message is context, particularly in terms of the the situation that you choose to communicate. This can influence how a particular message is perceived, as especially when there is a conflict between the tone of the communication (which may be formal) and the location in which it takes place (which may be informal).

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Noise and feedback are also key considerations, and you must distinguish between the two when communicating with others. Noise has a special meaning in communication theory, as it relates to anything that can distract listeners or distort the message that is being delivered. This includes complicated language, tone and conflicting body language, and it is important to minimise noise at all times.

Conversely, feedback relates to the messages that are imparted by the listener at different times, and it is crucial that you listen to and follow these as closely as possible. This allows you to determine whether or not your message has been received accurately, and if not it also delvers prompts which help you to adapt your communication style or repeat key pieces of content that may have been missed.

We have the channel that you use to deliver a particular message, as this also has a direct influence on how it is perceived. We have already touched on this when appraising alternative types of interpersonal communication, with written and verbal techniques all leveraging alternative platforms.

Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

Reference

[1] Important India: Types of Interpersonal Communication
[2] Soft Skills – Ask a Wharton MBA: What is Interpersonal Communication – Definition and 3 Myths
[3] Skills You Need: What is Interpersonal Communication?

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Last Updated on October 7, 2021

Are You Addicted to Productivity?

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Are You Addicted to Productivity?

“It’s great to be productive. It really is. But sometimes, we chase productivity so much that it makes us, well, unproductive. It’s easy to read a lot about how to be more productive, but don’t forget that you have to make that time up.”

Matt Cutts wrote that back in 2013,[1]

“Today, search for ‘productivity’ and Google will come back with about 663,000,000 results. If you decide to go down this rabbit hole, you’ll be bombarded by a seemingly endless amount of content. I’m talking about books, blogs, videos, apps, podcasts, scientific studies, and subreddits all dedicated to productivity.”

Like so many other people, I’ve also fallen into this trap. For years I’ve been on the lookout for trends and hacks that will help me work faster and more efficiently — and also trends that help me help others to be faster. I’ve experimented with various strategies and tools . And, while some of these strategies and solutions have been extremely useful — without parsing out what you need quickly — it’s counterproductive.

Sometimes you end up spending more time focusing on how to be productive instead of actually being productive.

“The most productive people I know don’t read these books, they don’t watch these videos, they don’t try a new app every month,” James Bedell wrote in a Medium post.[2] “They are far too busy getting things done to read about Getting Things Done.”

This is my mantra:

I proudly say, “I am addicted to productivity — I want to be addicted to productivity — productivity is my life and my mission — and I also want to find the best way to lead others through productivity to their best selves.

But most of the time productivity means putting your head down and working until the job’s done.” –John Rampton

Addiction to Productivity is Real

Dr. Sandra Chapman, director of the University of Texas at Dallas Center for BrainHealth points out that the brain can get addicted to productivity just as it can to more common sources of addiction, such as drugs, gambling, eating, and shopping.

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“A person might crave the recognition their work gives them or the salary increases they get,” Chapman told the BBC.[3] “The problem is that just like all addictions, over time, a person needs more and more to be satisfied, and then it starts to work against you. Withdrawal symptoms include increased anxiety, depression, and fear.”

Despite the harmful consequences, addiction is considered by some experts as a brain disease that affects the brain’s reward system and ends in compulsive behavior. Regardless, society tends to reward productivity — or at least to treat it positively. As a result, this makes the problem even worse.

“It’s seen like a good thing: the more you work, the better,” adds Chapman. “Many people don’t realize the harm it causes until a divorce occurs and a family is broken apart, or the toll it takes on mental health.”

Because of the occasional negative issues with productivity, it’s no surprise that it is considered a “mixed-blessing addiction.”

“A workaholic might be earning a lot of money, just as an exercise addict is very fit,” explains Dr. Mark Griffiths, distinguished professor of behavioral addiction at Nottingham Trent University. “But the thing about any addiction is that in the long run, the detrimental effects outweigh any short-term benefits.”

“There may be an initial period where the individual who is developing a work addiction is more productive than someone who isn’t addicted to work, but it will get to a point when they are no longer productive, and their health and relationships are affected,” Griffiths writes in Psychology Today.[4] “It could be after one year or more, but if the individual doesn’t do anything about it, they could end up having serious health consequences.”

“For instance, I speculated that the consequences of work addiction may be reclassified as something else: If someone ends up dying of a work-related heart attack, it isn’t necessarily seen as having anything to do with an addiction per se – it might be attributed to something like burnout,” he adds.

There Are Three “Distinct Extreme Productivity Types

Cyril Peupion, a Sydney-based productivity expert, has observed extreme productivity among clients at both large and medium-sized companies. “Most people who come to me are high performers and very successful. But often, the word they use to describe their work style is ‘unsustainable,’ and they need help getting it back on track.”

By changing their work habits, Peupion assists teams and individuals improve their performance and ensure that their efforts are aligned with the overarching strategy of the business, rather than focusing on work as a means to an end. He has distinguished three types of extreme productivity in his classification: efficiency obsessive, selfishly productive, and quantity-obsessed.

Efficiency obsessive. “Their desks are super tidy and their pens are probably color-coded. They are the master of ‘inbox zero.’ But they have lost sight of the big picture, and don’t know the difference between efficiency and effectiveness.”

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Selfishly productive. “They are so focused on their own world that if they are asked to do something outside of it, they aren’t interested. They do have the big picture in mind, but the picture is too much about them.”

Quantity-obsessed. “They think; ‘The more emails I respond to, the more meetings I attend, the more tasks I do, the higher my performance.’ As a result, they face a real risk of burnout.”

Peupion believes that “quantity obsessed” individuals are the most common type “because there is a pervasive belief that ‘more’ means ‘better’ at work.”

The Warning Signs of Productivity Addiction

Here are a few questions you should ask yourself if you think you may be succumbing to productivity addiction. After all, most of us aren’t aware of this until it’s too late.

  • Can you tell when you’re “wasting” time? If so, have you ever felt guilty about it?
  • Does technology play a big part in optimizing your time management?
  • Do you talk about how busy you are most of the time? In your opinion, is hustling better than doing less?
  • What is your relationship with your email inbox? Are you constantly checking it or experience phantom notifications?
  • When you only check one item off your list, do you feel guilty?
  • Does stress from work interfere with your sleep?
  • Have you been putting things off, like a vacation or side project, because you’re “too swamped?

The first step toward turning around your productivity obsession is to recognize it. If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, then it’s time to make a plan to overcome your addiction to productivity.

Overcoming Your Productivity Addiction

Thankfully, there are ways to curb your productivity addiction. And, here are 9 such ways to achieve that goal.

1. Set Limits

Just because you’re hooked on productivity doesn’t mean you have to completely abstain from it. Instead, you need to establish boundaries.

For example, there are a lot of amazing productivity podcasts out there. But, that doesn’t mean you have to listen to them all in the course of a day. Instead, you could listen to one or two podcasts, like The Productivity Podcast or Before Breakfast, during your commute. And, that would be your only time of the day to get your productivity fix.

2. Create a Not-to-Do List

Essentially, the idea of a not-to-do list is to eliminate the need to practice self-discipline. Getting rid of low-value tasks and bad habits will allow you to focus on what you really want to do as opposed to weighing the pros and cons or declining time requests. More importantly, this prevents you from feeling guilty about not crossing everything off an unrealistic to-do list.

3. Be Vulnerable

By this, I mean admitting where you could improve. For example, if you’re new to remote work and are struggling with thi s, you would only focus on topics in this area. Suggestions would be how to create a workspace at home, not getting distracted when the kids aren’t in school, or improving remote communication and collaboration with others.

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4. Understand Why You Procrastinate

Often, we procrastinate to minimize negative emotions like boredom or stress. Other times it could be because it’s a learned trait, underestimating how long it takes you to complete something or having a bias towards a task.

Regardless of the exact reason, we end up doing busy work, scrolling social media, or just watching one more episode of our favorite TV series. And, even though we know that it’s not for the best, we do things that make us feel better than the work we should do to restore our mood.[5]

There are a lot of ways to overcome procrastination. But, the first step is to be aware of it so that you can take action. For example, if you’re dreading a difficult task, don’t just watch Netflix. Instead, procrastinate more efficiently,y like returning a phone call or working on a client pitch.

5. Don’t Be a Copycat

Let’s keep this short and sweet. When you find a productivity app or technique that works for you, stick with it.

That’s not to say that you can’t make adjustments along the way or try new tools or hacks. However, the main takeaway should be that just because someone swears by the Pomodoro Technique doesn’t mean it’s a good fit for you.

6. Say Yes to Less

Across the board, your philosophy should be less is more.

That means only download the apps you actually use and want to keep (after you try them out) and uninstall the ones you don’t use. For example, are you currently reading a book on productivity? Don’t buy your next book until you’ve finished the one you’re currently reading (or permit yourself to toss a book that isn’t doing you any good). — and if you really want to finish a book more quickly, listen to the book on your way to work and back.

Already have plans this weekend? Don’t commit to a birthday party. And, if you’re day is booked, decline that last-minute meeting request.

7. Stop Focusing on What’s Next

“In the age when purchasing a thing from overseas is just one click and talking to another person is one swipe right, acquiring new objects or experiences can be addictive like anything else,” writes Patrick Banks for Lifehack .

“That doesn’t need to be you,” he adds. “You can stop your addition to ‘the next thing’ starting today.” After all, “there will always be this next thing if you don’t make a conscious decision to get your life back together and be the one in charge.”

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  • Think about your current lifestyle and the person you’re at this stage to help you identify what you aren’t satisfied with.
  • By setting clear goals for yourself in the future, you will be able to overcome your addiction.
  • Establish realistic goals.
  • To combat addiction, you must be aware of what is going on around you, as well as inside your head, at any given time.
  • Don’t spend time with people who have unhealthy behaviors.
  • Hold yourself accountable.
  • Keep a journal and write out what you want to overcome.
  • Appreciate no longer being addicted to what’s next.

8. Simplify

Each day, pick one priority task. That’s it. As long as you concentrate on one task at a time, you will be less likely to get distracted or overwhelmed by an endless list of tasks. A simple mantra to live by is: work smarter, not harder.

The same is also accurate with productivity hacks and tools. Bullet journaling is a great example. Unfortunately, for many, a bullet journal is way more time-consuming and overwhelming than a traditional planner.

9. Learn How to Relax

“Sure, we need to produce sometimes, especially if we have to pay the bills, but, banning obsession with productivity is unhealthy,” writes Leo Babauta. “When you can’t get yourself to be productive, relax.” Don’t worry about being hyper-efficient. And, don’t beat yourself up about having fun.

“But what if you can’t motivate yourself … ever?” he asks. “Sure, that can be a problem. But if you relax and enjoy yourself, you’ll be happier.”

“And if you work when you get excited, on things you’re excited about, and create amazing things, that’s motivation,” Leo states. “Not forcing yourself to work when you don’t want to, on things you don’t want to work on — motivation is doing things you love when you get excited.”

But, how exactly can you relax? Here are some tips from Leo;

  • Spend 5 minutes walking outside and breathe in the fresh air.
  • Give yourself more time to accomplish things. Less rushing means less stress.
  • If you can, get outside after work to enjoy nature.
  • Play like a child. Even better? Play with your kids. And, have fun at work — maybe give gamification a try .
  • Take the day off, rest, and do something non-work-related.
  • Allow yourself an hour of time off. Try not to be productive during that time. Just relax.
  • You should work with someone who is exciting. Make your project exciting.
  • Don’t work in the evenings. Seriously.
  • Visit a massage therapist.
  • Just breathe.

“Step by step, learn to relax,” he suggests. “Learn that productivity isn’t everything.” For that statement, sorry Leo, I say productivity isn’t everything — it’s the only thing.” However, if you can’t cut loose, relax, do fun things, and do the living part of your life — you’ll crack in a big way — you really will.

It’s great to create and push forward — just remember it doesn’t mean that every minute must be spent working or obsessing over productivity issues. Instead, invest your time in meaningful, high-impact work, get into it, focus, put in big time and then relax.

Are You Addicted to Productivity? was originally published on Calendar by John Rampton.

Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

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Reference

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