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How to Be the Most Successful One at Work Even If You’re Not The Smartest

How to Be the Most Successful One at Work Even If You’re Not The Smartest

Working in harmony with other people can be quite challenging at times. Perhaps you find they rub you up the wrong way on a daily basis, seem argumentative, unwilling to compromise and generally difficult to get along with.

While the problem may lie with the other person or people, more often than not, it can be a good idea to look at ourselves and see if we can make any improvements in our interpersonal skills. Improving the way we interact with the people we work with can boost our career success.

We Always Talk about Interpersonal Skills, But What Exactly Are They?

Getting ahead in our career is important and interpersonal skills can be broken down into different areas and skill sets. By tackling these skill sets individually, you can create a well-rounded approach to dealing with others in order to get ahead. These areas include:

  • Communication Skills
  • Team Working Skills
  • Negotiation and Persuasion Skills
  • Conflict Resolution Skills

Communication Skills — Speaking Is Only a Way, Not the Only Way

Active Listening: This can be an overlooked skill when we are too focused on what we want to say and how we want to get it across. But active listening is a good way of securing respect, showing concern, understanding and interest.

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Ways in which you can demonstrate active listening[1] can be: paraphrasing to show understanding, asking open-ended questions, asking questions in order to clarify, eye contact, nodding while listening and expressing brief expressions such as “I see”, “sure”, or “I know” while the other person is talking.

Word Choice: The words you use[2] can be incredibly important and choosing them wisely can allow others to understand you much better and create less confusion.

It can be helpful to practice speaking to others, thinking about how you are conveying your message. Ask for feedback to see if you could have expressed your points more clearly in order to highlight areas in which you could improve.

Non-Verbal Communication: It’s not always about the words we speak. How we come across with our body language[3] can have a massive influence on how we are perceived by others. It can give you away if your body language doesn’t match what you are saying.

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Smiling, eye contact, posture, tone of voice, observing others’ reactions to your statements and leaning in to indicate interest are all ways in which you can convey positive communication. By being conscious of your non-verbal communication, you can come across more friendly, trustworthy and approachable.

Humour: Injecting a touch of humour can make you much more relatable and make people more comfortable in your presence. Reacting positively with laughter or seeing the lighter side of a conversation can allow the conversation to flow more easily. Make sure that you’re not inappropriate or offensive.

Team Working Skills — Make Yourself Pleasant to Work with

Flexibility: Understanding differences of opinion with others and making appropriate adjustments is a core skill to develop. Seeing different perspectives can expand your thinking and make others feel respected.

Responsibility: Take responsibility for your role in any team work. It can be easy to push responsibility onto others or blame others for how things progress negatively. Understanding your responsibility and role in a team effort before taking part is crucial to effective communication and positive progression.

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Stress Control: People react to stressful situations in different ways but learning to deal with stress in a contained way can help you when you face stress in the workplace. Consider mindfulness and meditation techniques that can be used when stressful situations crop up.

Ability To Receive Feedback: React positively to any feedback even if it’s negative. Adopt the mindset that it’s an opportunity to improve yourself rather than a reason to put yourself down.

Positivity: People are more likely to be drawn and react better to positive people. In other words, positivity attracts positivity and the same applies to negativity. This is why remaining cheerful and keeping a positive attitude not only helps with others but also with our self-confidence.

Negotiation And Persuasion Skills — Never Create Any Loser

Look For Win-Win Situations: When negotiating, focus on maintaining a good relationship. In other words, make sure you separate the people from the problem. Make sure you create a variety of options for both parties before deciding on the outcome. This way, you can limit disagreements and hostility.

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Compromise: Don’t head into anything with the intention of getting your way. Be ready to compromise and see other people’s perspectives. This way you are much more likely to be respected and have things go in your favour.

Assertion: Developing good assertion skills[4] means being able to stand up for yourself in a positive and calm way. Get your point across in a non-hostile way that doesn’t lead to others getting upset. Developing this skill will gain respect and will show that you’re not a pushover.

Conflict Resolution Skills — Spot Tensions Before They Turn into Conflicts

Empathy: It’s easy to get very caught up in climbing the career ladder thinking that we need to look out for number one. But being empathetic towards others is a key skill in gaining trust and respect among your colleagues. Understand the different perspective of others and don’t make assumptions or dismiss how they see things. It can help you see problems in a different way and allow you to apply this to many situations.

Social Awareness: Having a degree of sensitivity towards potential conflicts can allow you to identify and fix them before it’s too late. This can save you a lot of time and effort, streamlining the path to your ultimate career goal.

Taking into account each different area of communication can greatly improve your interpersonal skills, develop good working relationships and get you much further in your career. Building trust and respect with others should never be dismissed or considered unnecessary because hard work and the ability to get on with everyone in a variety of situations is the key to success.

Reference

[1] The Balance: Active Listening Definition, Skills, and Examples
[2] Skills You Need: Interpersonal Skills
[3] The Balance: Nonverbal Communication Skills
[4] Skills You Need: Assertiveness – An Introduction

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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