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How to Be the Most Successful One at Work Even If You’re Not The Smartest

How to Be the Most Successful One at Work Even If You’re Not The Smartest

Working in harmony with other people can be quite challenging at times. Perhaps you find they rub you up the wrong way on a daily basis, seem argumentative, unwilling to compromise and generally difficult to get along with.

While the problem may lie with the other person or people, more often than not, it can be a good idea to look at ourselves and see if we can make any improvements in our interpersonal skills. Improving the way we interact with the people we work with can boost our career success.

We Always Talk about Interpersonal Skills, But What Exactly Are They?

Getting ahead in our career is important and interpersonal skills can be broken down into different areas and skill sets. By tackling these skill sets individually, you can create a well-rounded approach to dealing with others in order to get ahead. These areas include:

  • Communication Skills
  • Team Working Skills
  • Negotiation and Persuasion Skills
  • Conflict Resolution Skills

Communication Skills — Speaking Is Only a Way, Not the Only Way

Active Listening: This can be an overlooked skill when we are too focused on what we want to say and how we want to get it across. But active listening is a good way of securing respect, showing concern, understanding and interest.

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Ways in which you can demonstrate active listening[1] can be: paraphrasing to show understanding, asking open-ended questions, asking questions in order to clarify, eye contact, nodding while listening and expressing brief expressions such as “I see”, “sure”, or “I know” while the other person is talking.

Word Choice: The words you use[2] can be incredibly important and choosing them wisely can allow others to understand you much better and create less confusion.

It can be helpful to practice speaking to others, thinking about how you are conveying your message. Ask for feedback to see if you could have expressed your points more clearly in order to highlight areas in which you could improve.

Non-Verbal Communication: It’s not always about the words we speak. How we come across with our body language[3] can have a massive influence on how we are perceived by others. It can give you away if your body language doesn’t match what you are saying.

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Smiling, eye contact, posture, tone of voice, observing others’ reactions to your statements and leaning in to indicate interest are all ways in which you can convey positive communication. By being conscious of your non-verbal communication, you can come across more friendly, trustworthy and approachable.

Humour: Injecting a touch of humour can make you much more relatable and make people more comfortable in your presence. Reacting positively with laughter or seeing the lighter side of a conversation can allow the conversation to flow more easily. Make sure that you’re not inappropriate or offensive.

Team Working Skills — Make Yourself Pleasant to Work with

Flexibility: Understanding differences of opinion with others and making appropriate adjustments is a core skill to develop. Seeing different perspectives can expand your thinking and make others feel respected.

Responsibility: Take responsibility for your role in any team work. It can be easy to push responsibility onto others or blame others for how things progress negatively. Understanding your responsibility and role in a team effort before taking part is crucial to effective communication and positive progression.

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Stress Control: People react to stressful situations in different ways but learning to deal with stress in a contained way can help you when you face stress in the workplace. Consider mindfulness and meditation techniques that can be used when stressful situations crop up.

Ability To Receive Feedback: React positively to any feedback even if it’s negative. Adopt the mindset that it’s an opportunity to improve yourself rather than a reason to put yourself down.

Positivity: People are more likely to be drawn and react better to positive people. In other words, positivity attracts positivity and the same applies to negativity. This is why remaining cheerful and keeping a positive attitude not only helps with others but also with our self-confidence.

Negotiation And Persuasion Skills — Never Create Any Loser

Look For Win-Win Situations: When negotiating, focus on maintaining a good relationship. In other words, make sure you separate the people from the problem. Make sure you create a variety of options for both parties before deciding on the outcome. This way, you can limit disagreements and hostility.

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Compromise: Don’t head into anything with the intention of getting your way. Be ready to compromise and see other people’s perspectives. This way you are much more likely to be respected and have things go in your favour.

Assertion: Developing good assertion skills[4] means being able to stand up for yourself in a positive and calm way. Get your point across in a non-hostile way that doesn’t lead to others getting upset. Developing this skill will gain respect and will show that you’re not a pushover.

Conflict Resolution Skills — Spot Tensions Before They Turn into Conflicts

Empathy: It’s easy to get very caught up in climbing the career ladder thinking that we need to look out for number one. But being empathetic towards others is a key skill in gaining trust and respect among your colleagues. Understand the different perspective of others and don’t make assumptions or dismiss how they see things. It can help you see problems in a different way and allow you to apply this to many situations.

Social Awareness: Having a degree of sensitivity towards potential conflicts can allow you to identify and fix them before it’s too late. This can save you a lot of time and effort, streamlining the path to your ultimate career goal.

Taking into account each different area of communication can greatly improve your interpersonal skills, develop good working relationships and get you much further in your career. Building trust and respect with others should never be dismissed or considered unnecessary because hard work and the ability to get on with everyone in a variety of situations is the key to success.

Reference

[1] The Balance: Active Listening Definition, Skills, and Examples
[2] Skills You Need: Interpersonal Skills
[3] The Balance: Nonverbal Communication Skills
[4] Skills You Need: Assertiveness – An Introduction

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on September 23, 2020

Do What You Love and Love What You Do to Achieve More

Do What You Love and Love What You Do to Achieve More

Are you waking up each day looking for that perfect thing, activity, or job that will make your life work? Or, maybe you are looking for that perfect relationship. Once you “get” this new thing that will allow you to do what you love, you are sure that you will be happy forever.

In reality, life doesn’t work like that, and we would probably get bored if it did. There is likely no one thing, experience, or activity that will keep you feeling passionate and engaged all the time. What’s important is staying connected to what you love and continuing to grow in the process.

Here, we’ll talk about how to get started doing what you love and achieving more in life through the motivation it brings. Doing this doesn’t have to take a long time; it just takes determination and energy.

Most People Already Know Their Passion

So many people walk around in life “looking for” their passion. They look for it as if true passion is some mysterious thing that is difficult to find and runs away once you find it. However, the problem is rarely lack of passion.

Most of us already know what we love to do. We know what excites us, even if we haven’t done it for years. Instead, we focus on what we think we “must” do.

For example, maybe you love building model cars or painting pet portraits. Yet, each day you work a completely unrelated job and make no time for the activity you already know you love. The truth is you probably don’t need to find your passion; you just need to start doing what you already know you’re passionate about[1].

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No Activity Is Exciting All the Time

Even people who are living their dream lifestyle or working their dream job don’t love it all the time. Every job or lifestyle has parts of it that we won’t like.

Let’s say your dream is to become an actress, and you succeed. You may not enjoy the process of auditioning and facing rejection. You may experience moments of boredom when you practice your lines over and over again. But the overall experience is totally worth it.

Most of life is like that. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by demanding that life be perfect all the time. If things were perfect and easy, you would ultimately stop learning and growing, and life would begin to lack even more meaning in that case.

Be grateful for both the good and bad moments as they are both entirely necessary if you genuinely want to do what you love and love what you do.

Doing What You Love May Not Be Easy

Living a life you love is unlikely to be easy. If it was, you would not grow very much as a person. And, if you think about a great book or movie, the growth of the main character is what matters most.

What if the challenges you meet along your path to living a life you love were designed to make you grow as a person? You may actually start looking forward to challenges instead of dreading them. An easy life hardly ever makes a compelling story.

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If you struggle to overcome challenges, try writing them down each time you encounter one. Then, write down three ways you could tackle it. Try one, and if it doesn’t work, try another. This way, you’ll learn what does and doesn’t work for you.

How to Do What You Love

There are many small steps you can take to ensure you are making time to do the things you love. Start with these, and you’ll likely find that you’re already on the right track.

1. Choose Your Priorities Wisely

Many people claim they want to do something, yet they don’t do it. The truth is they might not really want to do it in the first place[2].

We all end up following through on what matters most to us. We make decisions moment by moment about what we need to focus on. What we choose to do is what we deem most important in our lives.

If there is something you claim you want to do but you don’t do it, try asking yourself how much you really want it or where it’s currently placed on priority list. Are there other things you want more?

Be honest with yourself: what you currently do each day is a reflection of your priorities. Recognize that you can change your priorities at any time.

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Make a list of your priorities. Really take the time to think this through. Then, ask yourself if what you are doing each day reflects them. For example, if you believe your top priority is spending more time with your family, but you consistently take on extra hours at work, you’re not really prioritizing things in the way you think you are.

If this is happening, it’s time to make a change.

2. Do One Small Thing Each Day

As stated above, doing what you love doesn’t have to mean finding that perfect job that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. If you want to do what you love, start with one small thing each day.

Maybe you love reading a good book. Take ten minutes before bed to read.

Maybe you love swimming. Get a membership at the local YMCA, and go there for thirty minutes after work each day.

Dedicating even a short amount of time to something that brings you joy each day will improve your life overall. You may find that, over time, a career path related to what you love to do pops up. After doing the thing you love each day, you’ll be more than prepared to take it on when the opportunity arises.

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If you need help making time for your passions, check out this article to get started.

3. Prepare to Make Sacrifices

If you are an exceptionally busy person (aren’t we all?), you may have to make sacrifices in order to make space for the things you are passionate about. Maybe you take on less extra hours at the office or take thirty minutes away from another hobby in order to develop another that you enjoy.

Looking at your priority list will help you decide what can get put on the back burner and what can’t. Remember, do this thinking about what will help you feel good about how you’re spending your time. 

For example, if you love writing but rarely make time for it, consider getting up 30 minutes earlier than normal. Or instead of browsing your phone for 30 minutes before bed, you can write instead. There is always a way to find time for what you love.

Final Thoughts

If you love what you do, each day becomes a joyful adventure. If you don’t love what you are doing, life feels like a chore. The best way to achieve success is to design a life you love and live it every day.

Remember, doing something you love doesn’t have to include big gestures or time-consuming projects. Start small and grow from there.

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Featured photo credit: William Recinos via unsplash.com

Reference

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