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Don’t Set Goals This Year: Instead, Make Promises, and Take Action.

Don’t Set Goals This Year: Instead, Make Promises, and Take Action.

Most of us are really great at setting goals and terrible at achieving them—just take a look at the stats from 2012:

45% of people usually set New Years resolutions
54% of people fail with regard to their New Years resolution after 6 months
39% of people in their 20s achieved their New Years resolutions last year
14% of people over the age of 50 achieved their New Years resolutions last year

Right now is goal-setting season, with many of you putting this past year behind you and starting fresh now that we’re in January. Let’s take a quick peek at the most popular resolutions from last year:

1. Lose weight
2. Get organized
3. Spend less, save more
4. Enjoy life to the fullest
5. Stay fit and healthy

Now, raise your hand if you made any of those resolutions last year—hell, you may have even made a few of them.Yeah, I’m right there with ya.

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Before making any resolutions, do this:

Before sitting down to set any resolutions, take time to conduct a yearly review for yourself. What went right last year? What went wrong? What were some of the decisions that you made that led to the good and the bad? Where did you hesitate and miss out on opportunities? Spend some time thinking about this, then take out a notebook and pen and break it down month by month.

I’ve found that taking a look at the things that did not go so well for me over the past year and coming up with strategies to overcome obstacles in the future helps me to prepare for the unexpected.

No more goals—only promises, and action

We’ve become desensitized to goal-setting: most of us have many goals in mind, but we’re so used to not meeting them that it has become okay to let them slide. Instead of setting goals this year, make promises to yourself instead: when it comes to promises, you are more likely to limit the amount that you commit yourself to, more likely to hold yourself accountable, and to set promises that are more realistic.

Better yet, try making promises to someone else. Promise your kids you will lose 20 pounds of fat this year and lower your cholesterol; promise your wife you will quit smoking; promise your best friend that you will exercise four days per week for at least sixty minutes a day. Alternately, if you have the kahunas for it, make promises to everyone via a website such as stickK.

I’m not sure about you, but I have a much easier time letting myself down than disappointing someone else. Making promises to others really commits me to the task at hand and keeps me stay highly motivated.

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Promise yourself this:

Whatever it is you decide to promise yourself this year, make sure to promise yourself to be consistent. Many of us tend to turn to motivation as the answer when we are struggling to meet our goals, but motivation is something that is out of your control. It comes and goes and is often short-lived. Consistency, on the other hand, is something that you can control. You can choose to get up at 6AM every day to write 1,000 words for your book. It is your choice to prepare your healthy meals for the next day so that you can stick to your nutrition plan. You can control the extra work you put in on the weekends to grow a side business.

There is a great quote in author Steve Pressfields book The War of Art:

“Someone once asked Somerset Maughham if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration. “I write only when inspiration strikes,” he replied. “Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.”

Consistency trumps motivation every time, so if you’re looking to guarantee yourself success this year, promise yourself to be consistent in all that you do.

Get specific

Take a look again at the most common resolutions made in 2012—they’re extremely vague. What does living life to the fullest actually mean? When you say you want to be more organized, does that mean at home, at work, in your personal life? If you want to spend less and save more, what do you want to spend less on and how do you plan to save more?

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One reason most resolutions fail is because they fail to be crystal clear. Confusion is the gateway to complacency: the more confused or unclear you are about something, the less likely you are to take action towards achieving it. A great way to clear up confusion and to get clear about what exactly it is you’re trying to achieve can be accomplished through the “by game”:  whatever you promise yourself this year, simply associate the word “by” with it. In this case, “by” is not a measure of time, but instead, a way to clarify things, like this:

“This year I promise to write a book by waking up at 6 AM and writing 1,000 words every day, for the next 3 months.”

Your promise is made clear, delivers actionable steps, and encourages you to hold yourself accountable.

Reward yourself

Oftentimes, promises can be set that are quite the grind: they may take some time to accomplish, and involve a tremendous amount of energy, consistency, discipline, and struggle. A great way to keep yourself on track is to set up tiny milestones in which you receive rewards for your accomplishments.

In the case of our book example above, you could set up weekly milestones: if you found that you were able to accomplish 1,000 words for all seven days this week, maybe a nice day at the spa would do you some good. How about a glass of red wine and some dark chocolate?

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The cool thing about setting up milestone goals is that they keep you focused on the task at hand. Often when big rewards are set up at the completion of a goal, things can become blurred as to what you are actually working so hard for. The big reward should be the completion of the task itself and the fact that you achieved what you set out to achieve, rather than just a prize at the end.

Make sure it means the world to you

Lastly, if you do decide to make yourself some promises this year, I hope that they really mean something to you. Don’t make promises to yourself simply because it is something you feel you should be doing, someone asked you to do, or that you are pressured into doing.

A great way to clear up any confusion as to whether or not a promise this year is right for you is to look to your emotions. Does your promise make you laugh? Cry? Does it give you goosebumps? Excite you? Get your heart racing?

What will you be promising yourself this year? What is the first step you plan to take in achieving it?

Featured photo credit:  Silhouette of a photographer in the nature via Shutterstock

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Justin Miller

Healthy Lifestyle Architect, a Fitness and Nutrition Coach

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Last Updated on May 23, 2019

Ditch Work Life Balance and Embrace Work Life Harmony

Ditch Work Life Balance and Embrace Work Life Harmony

How do you usually go about your day?

Do you wake up in the morning, get ready for work, and then spend the whole day looking forward to being at home and unwinding?

We often hear about work life balance – having a good balance between work and personal time. Whilst this may sound like a smart idea, it can also imply that we should dedicate at least half of our time to work–and sacrifice time for our “personal life”.

To me, that seems…off balance. Because, the truth is, it’s nearly impossible to split your time equally between the two. And, you may end up stressing out if you’re not able to meet that expectation of balance.

Instead, why not think of having work life harmony instead?

With this mindset, you can actually integrate work into your life in a way that feels more complete. This way, you don’t need to view work and having personal time as separate.

So, how do you achieve work life harmony?

Work Life Harmony Explained

The difference between work life balance and work life harmony is pretty simple. With the former, there is an implication that you have to sacrifice your “life” for work. But, this is the worst way to go about things! How can you truly be at peace in life if you dread 8 hours of your day?

Work life harmony on the other hand, allows your work to be a part of your life. This means that you can choose to be happy both at home, and at work! Work no longer needs to be seen as the ‘bad’ or un-fun activity.

Having work life harmony also ensures you’re truly present in whatever place you find yourself.

Just take a look at Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon for example.

He uses a non traditional approach to work by making time for breakfast every morning with his family, doesn’t set his alarm before going to bed, schedules surprisingly few meetings, and still puts aside a few minutes every day to wash his own dishes.

He believes that all his staff should stop trying to achieve a ‘balance’ in their work and personal lives as that implies a trade off. Instead, he envisions a more holistic relationship between the two.

As the world’s richest man, he must be doing something right!

Rethink Time Management

Now, when we think of striking a balance, we usually associate it with time, don’t we? How much time are we spending at work versus how much time are we spending in our personal lives?Are we taking enough time to be with our loved ones, to do meaningful activities with others or even for ourselves, or are we just dedicating all our time to work?

This is the so-called-balance that many struggle with.

With work life harmony, we learn to rethink time management. By re-assessing how you manage your time, you’ll have a lot more of it. It’s incredible how much time can get wasted over the period of a day–especially when you’re not accurately tracking it.

Unfortunately, unless you’re consciously making an effort, your brain is not always the best at making accurate judgement calls when it comes to prioritizing. It tends to have a bias towards short term benefits and short term costs.

As there are often many more options our brains link to short term benefit; when you’re trying to focus on a task that gives you a long term benefit, that task usually becomes low priority. This is otherwise known as Priority Chaos.

In order to overcome this and be in better control of your time, identify the tasks that need the most focus to get accomplished. If it’s a big task, then it’s good to break it down into smaller bite-sized actions that will provide you with a clearer short term benefit.

When setting up tasks, give yourself a time limit. The brain has a bias towards short term benefits, and your attention span is limited, so if your tasks are going to take ages to complete, you’ll end up losing focus… and wasting time.

Once you have all your tasks written down, it’s time to prioritize them. Since you have a time limit, your focus should be on the top priority tasks. By doing this, you will already be able to get more done in less time at work!

Have Passion for What You Do

Managing your time is important in achieving that work life harmony. But, perhaps of greater importance, is loving what you do in life. One of the most effective ways to achieve a work life harmony is to really enjoy, or find a purpose, in what you do for a living. Even though everyone isn’t always lucky enough to find a position that pays them for pursuing their passion, you can strive to find meaning in what you are already doing, or pursue something new entirely!

For example, say you work at an office that sells paper. While many people wouldn’t consider this a world changing pursuit, I beg to differ. Think of all the individuals in the world that rely on paper. From creative types to quantum physics experts, your role at your workplace brings incredible value to many many people all over the world. You will have, without a doubt, helped bring a new idea into existence. Several new ideas to be precise.

So have a think about what you’re doing now. Is it something that allows you to embrace your passion?

Or perhaps you might not even know what it is that you love or enjoy doing. Why not explore and reflect on what gives you joy and contentment? Is there an area or industry that you could see yourself exploring to experience that fulfillment?

Can you find a deeper purpose in what you’re already doing?

When you’re able to find meaning in your work, you’re that much closer to achieving work life harmony.

Don’t Be Intimidated By Obstacles and Limitations

Creating work life harmony is also about understanding yourself–which includes your limitations and past obstacles–as this allows you to become more resilient.

If you never had to experience struggles, challenges or setbacks, then you would never be forced to adapt and mature. So in theory, having to face obstacles in life is actually quite necessary.

Most of us think of setbacks and obstacles as negative. Though, if you’re able to maintain an optimistic attitude, you’ll almost always have a higher chance of success of overcoming those obstacles to reach your eventual goal.

Your attitude towards setbacks will define the outcome of whether you rise from the challenge or remain stuck in it. So, in order to achieve work life harmony, it’s important to have a resilient attitude as challenges will always come your way–especially when you strive to integrate work into your life, and not a separate or dominant part of life.

Delegate When You Need To

Of course, when you want to increase productivity and minimize the time or effort spent, a great way to do so is to delegate!

If you spend a lot of time doing tasks on your own that could be delegated to others (whether at work or at home) you’re losing a lot of precious free time that could otherwise be spent elsewhere.

At the end of the day, we all have a limited amount of time. So we should all be striving to create a harmonious work and living situation where we can find meaning in all that we do.

While an overall goal may be meaningful, not all of the milestones or tasks needed to get there may be meaningful. That’s because we have our strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Not every task is going to be enjoyable or easy to complete. That’s where delegation comes in.

Delegation simply allows you to leverage time from an external source, thus giving you opportunities to increase your own quality of time. Keep in mind that delegation should be done with deliberate attention, otherwise you may end up over relying on others.

If you find that you’re running into the problem of over delegating, then it may be time to re-evaluate your motivation for doing whatever it is that you’re doing.

Embrace the Circle and Become Happier and More Productive

Living in harmony is about feeling good about the ways in which you spend your time, despite how busy you may be.Your switch from work mode to a more personal mode should be effortless. It’s about integrating your personal life and the things you love into your busy work life!

It all begins with the shift in perspective. Understanding what your passions are, and learning to be resilient, before taking a different approach to the way you manage your time and everyday tasks.

These are steps that you can start taking to move away from balance to harmony. 

Featured photo credit: Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash via unsplash.com

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