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Don’t Set Goals This Year: Instead, Make Promises, and Take Action.

Don’t Set Goals This Year: Instead, Make Promises, and Take Action.

Most of us are really great at setting goals and terrible at achieving them—just take a look at the stats from 2012:

45% of people usually set New Years resolutions
54% of people fail with regard to their New Years resolution after 6 months
39% of people in their 20s achieved their New Years resolutions last year
14% of people over the age of 50 achieved their New Years resolutions last year

Right now is goal-setting season, with many of you putting this past year behind you and starting fresh now that we’re in January. Let’s take a quick peek at the most popular resolutions from last year:

1. Lose weight
2. Get organized
3. Spend less, save more
4. Enjoy life to the fullest
5. Stay fit and healthy

Now, raise your hand if you made any of those resolutions last year—hell, you may have even made a few of them.Yeah, I’m right there with ya.

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Before making any resolutions, do this:

Before sitting down to set any resolutions, take time to conduct a yearly review for yourself. What went right last year? What went wrong? What were some of the decisions that you made that led to the good and the bad? Where did you hesitate and miss out on opportunities? Spend some time thinking about this, then take out a notebook and pen and break it down month by month.

I’ve found that taking a look at the things that did not go so well for me over the past year and coming up with strategies to overcome obstacles in the future helps me to prepare for the unexpected.

No more goals—only promises, and action

We’ve become desensitized to goal-setting: most of us have many goals in mind, but we’re so used to not meeting them that it has become okay to let them slide. Instead of setting goals this year, make promises to yourself instead: when it comes to promises, you are more likely to limit the amount that you commit yourself to, more likely to hold yourself accountable, and to set promises that are more realistic.

Better yet, try making promises to someone else. Promise your kids you will lose 20 pounds of fat this year and lower your cholesterol; promise your wife you will quit smoking; promise your best friend that you will exercise four days per week for at least sixty minutes a day. Alternately, if you have the kahunas for it, make promises to everyone via a website such as stickK.

I’m not sure about you, but I have a much easier time letting myself down than disappointing someone else. Making promises to others really commits me to the task at hand and keeps me stay highly motivated.

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Promise yourself this:

Whatever it is you decide to promise yourself this year, make sure to promise yourself to be consistent. Many of us tend to turn to motivation as the answer when we are struggling to meet our goals, but motivation is something that is out of your control. It comes and goes and is often short-lived. Consistency, on the other hand, is something that you can control. You can choose to get up at 6AM every day to write 1,000 words for your book. It is your choice to prepare your healthy meals for the next day so that you can stick to your nutrition plan. You can control the extra work you put in on the weekends to grow a side business.

There is a great quote in author Steve Pressfields book The War of Art:

“Someone once asked Somerset Maughham if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration. “I write only when inspiration strikes,” he replied. “Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.”

Consistency trumps motivation every time, so if you’re looking to guarantee yourself success this year, promise yourself to be consistent in all that you do.

Get specific

Take a look again at the most common resolutions made in 2012—they’re extremely vague. What does living life to the fullest actually mean? When you say you want to be more organized, does that mean at home, at work, in your personal life? If you want to spend less and save more, what do you want to spend less on and how do you plan to save more?

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One reason most resolutions fail is because they fail to be crystal clear. Confusion is the gateway to complacency: the more confused or unclear you are about something, the less likely you are to take action towards achieving it. A great way to clear up confusion and to get clear about what exactly it is you’re trying to achieve can be accomplished through the “by game”:  whatever you promise yourself this year, simply associate the word “by” with it. In this case, “by” is not a measure of time, but instead, a way to clarify things, like this:

“This year I promise to write a book by waking up at 6 AM and writing 1,000 words every day, for the next 3 months.”

Your promise is made clear, delivers actionable steps, and encourages you to hold yourself accountable.

Reward yourself

Oftentimes, promises can be set that are quite the grind: they may take some time to accomplish, and involve a tremendous amount of energy, consistency, discipline, and struggle. A great way to keep yourself on track is to set up tiny milestones in which you receive rewards for your accomplishments.

In the case of our book example above, you could set up weekly milestones: if you found that you were able to accomplish 1,000 words for all seven days this week, maybe a nice day at the spa would do you some good. How about a glass of red wine and some dark chocolate?

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The cool thing about setting up milestone goals is that they keep you focused on the task at hand. Often when big rewards are set up at the completion of a goal, things can become blurred as to what you are actually working so hard for. The big reward should be the completion of the task itself and the fact that you achieved what you set out to achieve, rather than just a prize at the end.

Make sure it means the world to you

Lastly, if you do decide to make yourself some promises this year, I hope that they really mean something to you. Don’t make promises to yourself simply because it is something you feel you should be doing, someone asked you to do, or that you are pressured into doing.

A great way to clear up any confusion as to whether or not a promise this year is right for you is to look to your emotions. Does your promise make you laugh? Cry? Does it give you goosebumps? Excite you? Get your heart racing?

What will you be promising yourself this year? What is the first step you plan to take in achieving it?

Featured photo credit:  Silhouette of a photographer in the nature via Shutterstock

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Justin Miller

Healthy Lifestyle Architect, a Fitness and Nutrition Coach

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

The Power of Ritual: Conquer Procrastination, Time Wasters and Laziness

Life is wasted in the in-between times. The time between when your alarm first rings and when you finally decide to get out of bed. The time between when you sit at your desk and when productive work begins. The time between making a decision and doing something about it.

Slowly, your day is whittled away from all the unused in-between moments. Eventually, time wasters, laziness, and procrastination get the better of you.

The solution to reclaim these lost middle moments is by creating rituals. Every culture on earth uses rituals to transfer information and encode behaviors that are deemed important. Personal rituals can help you build a better pattern for handling everything from how you wake up to how you work.

Unfortunately, when most people see rituals, they see pointless superstitions. Indeed, many rituals are based on a primitive understanding of the world. But by building personal rituals, you get to encode the behaviors you feel are important and cut out the wasted middle moments.

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Program Your Own Algorithms

Another way of viewing rituals is by seeing them as computer algorithms. An algorithm is a set of instructions that is repeated to get a result.

Some algorithms are highly efficient, sorting or searching millions of pieces of data in a few seconds. Other algorithms are bulky and awkward, taking hours to do the same task.

By forming rituals, you are building algorithms for your behavior. Take the delayed and painful pattern of waking up, debating whether to sleep in for another two minutes, hitting the snooze button, repeat until almost late for work. This could be reprogrammed to get out of bed immediately, without debating your decision.

How to Form a Ritual

I’ve set up personal rituals for myself for handling e-mail, waking up each morning, writing articles, and reading books. Far from making me inflexible, these rituals give me a useful default pattern that works best 99% of the time. Whenever my current ritual won’t work, I’m always free to stop using it.

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Forming a ritual isn’t too difficult, and the same principles for changing habits apply:

  1. Write out your sequence of behavior. I suggest starting with a simple ritual of only 3-4 steps maximum. Wait until you’ve established a ritual before you try to add new steps.
  2. Commit to following your ritual for thirty days. This step will take the idea and condition it into your nervous system as a habit.
  3. Define a clear trigger. When does your ritual start? A ritual to wake up is easy—the sound of your alarm clock will work. As for what triggers you to go to the gym, read a book or answer e-mail—you’ll have to decide.
  4. Tweak the Pattern. Your algorithm probably won’t be perfectly efficient the first time. Making a few tweaks after the first 30-day trial can make your ritual more useful.

Ways to Use a Ritual

Based on the above ideas, here are some ways you could implement your own rituals:

1. Waking Up

Set up a morning ritual for when you wake up and the next few things you do immediately afterward. To combat the grogginess after immediately waking up, my solution is to do a few pushups right after getting out of bed. After that, I sneak in ninety minutes of reading before getting ready for morning classes.

2. Web Usage

How often do you answer e-mail, look at Google Reader, or check Facebook each day? I found by taking all my daily internet needs and compressing them into one, highly-efficient ritual, I was able to cut off 75% of my web time without losing any communication.

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3. Reading

How much time do you get to read books? If your library isn’t as large as you’d like, you might want to consider the rituals you use for reading. Programming a few steps to trigger yourself to read instead of watching television or during a break in your day can chew through dozens of books each year.

4. Friendliness

Rituals can also help with communication. Set up a ritual of starting a conversation when you have opportunities to meet people.

5. Working

One of the hardest barriers when overcoming procrastination is building up a concentrated flow. Building those steps into a ritual can allow you to quickly start working or continue working after an interruption.

6. Going to the gym

If exercising is a struggle, encoding a ritual can remove a lot of the difficulty. Set up a quick ritual for going to exercise right after work or when you wake up.

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7. Exercise

Even within your workouts, you can have rituals. Spacing the time between runs or reps with a certain number of breaths can remove the guesswork. Forming a ritual of doing certain exercises in a particular order can save time.

8. Sleeping

Form a calming ritual in the last 30-60 minutes of your day before you go to bed. This will help slow yourself down and make falling asleep much easier. Especially if you plan to get up full of energy in the morning, it will help if you remove insomnia.

8. Weekly Reviews

The weekly review is a big part of the GTD system. By making a simple ritual checklist for my weekly review, I can get the most out of this exercise in less time. Originally, I did holistic reviews where I wrote my thoughts on the week and progress as a whole. Now, I narrow my focus toward specific plans, ideas, and measurements.

Final Thoughts

We all want to be productive. But time wasters, procrastination, and laziness sometimes get the better of us. If you’re facing such difficulties, don’t be afraid to make use of these rituals to help you conquer them.

More Tips to Conquer Time Wasters and Procrastination

 

Featured photo credit: RODOLFO BARRETO via unsplash.com

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