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7 Tips to Deal With Anger

7 Tips to Deal With Anger

Anger is an unpredictable thing. It can rise out of nowhere or be the result of a long line of un-addressed annoyances. Everyone feels anger. From a raging teenager to an elderly monk, there’s no escaping the fact that humans get angry.

However, as you may know, anger is not always a fantastic emotion to have. Anger sometimes makes you less appealing as a person; it affects your work, your private life and your sense of well-being. This is particularly true when you feel constantly on the edge of having an emotional breakdown.

Here are seven steps that you can implement to help you rein in your anger demons. Hopefully, this helps you obtain the control you need to be less stressed and avoid a rage-filled day-to-day lifestyle. No promises regarding traffic, however.

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angryman

    Step 1: Just breathe

    When you’re angry beyond belief, there’s nothing more that you can do than just breathe and take back control of your body. Slowly breathe in and out. Simple as that.

    Yoga practitioners use a technique called “the cooling breath.” It involves rolling your tongue, breathing in through your mouth and out through your nose. It certainly cools. But if you can’t roll your tongue, try doing the same in-and-out breaths with your tongue pressed to the back of your teeth instead for instant relief.

    Step 2: Take a break

    If it’s your boss, your co-worker or even a friend who is causing your anger, just go take a break. Chances are if you’re having some anger management issues, you’re going to need a five-minute breather to stop yourself from saying or doing something you’ll regret.

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    Is it a long term solution? No. But it can be a part of one. Breaks are a tool you use when anger and rage are too much at a particular moment in time. Go outside, get a drink, have a smoke or whatever, then go back with clearer eyes and a cooler mind.

    Step 3: Visualize your way to calmness

    “Visualize” doesn’t mean to fantasize taking your rage out on the person who’s causing your angry state. Although that is satisfying, and certainly something everyone indulges in, it’s not the best thing to help you calm down.

    Instead, try this technique that’s often used: Imagine a bath full of boiling, steaming water, and physically visualize yourself cooling the water until it’s nice and warm without being hot. This technique gives your mind something to focus on, and it is an active attempt to calm yourself down that should work.

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    Step 4: Count to 10

    This tried-and-tested technique actually works. When you feel your inner Bruce Banner ready to spring into Hulk mode, go ahead and count to 10.

    The reason behind this technique is simple: It forces you to actively calm your heart rate and inner rage by counting a simple sequence with complete self-awareness. The technique ensures that you’re aware of your own anger, and it makes you more likely to calm down because of it.

    Step 5: Channel your anger into your passion

    Passion is a wonderful thing. It motivates millions, generates projects and creates relationships that make life all the more worthwhile. Anger, while not the same as passion, can be channeled the same way. It is always better to create something rather than destroy it.

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    A 2006 study found that people who are slightly angrier make better cognitive choices. Hence, utilizing that anger might help plow through work and make you more productive, if only for a little bit. So go ahead, and channel your anger into your work.

    Step 6: Be a little aggressive

    This sounds like a counterproductive way to control your anger, but sometimes anger is necessary. Holding your anger in will only make you less psychologically healthy in the long run. Have you ever seen a seemingly normal person suddenly start having a breakdown in the middle of a Starbucks? That’s what holding onto anger can do to you.

    Try to channel your rage in a constructive way. Go take a karate class, do Zumba or play a team sport. Anger itself isn’t dangerous, it’s what you do with it. So if you “need” to destroy something, do some cleaning around your home, and tear up anything you don’t need or want anymore. Just make sure you use your aggression to your advantage, and you’ll soon have a handle on it.

    Step 7: Go forth and help others

    There’s nothing better than helping others without any thought for yourself. When you’re struggling to deal with the little red monster, going out and actively doing something that puts your focus on other peoples’ emotions and circumstances can be the perfect antidote to serious stress.

    You don’t have to run a marathon, but getting coffee or lunch for a busy colleague works wonders for calming you down. A good deed helps to move the focus away from an annoyance, or a trigger that invoked your rage, to something calmer and more positive. Plus, fostering positive relationships with others discourages them from do something that might annoy you in the first place.

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    Last Updated on October 16, 2018

    What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

    What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

    Are you afraid of being alone?  Do you worry about your physical safety or do you fear loneliness? These are strong negative feelings that can impact your health.

    One study found that when older people are socially isolated, there is an increased risk of an earlier death,[1] by as much as 26%.

    If you experience loneliness and are worried about your fear of being alone, study these 6 ways to help you find your comfort zone.

    But first, the good news!

    How many times have you said to yourself, ‘I just can’t wait to be alone’? This might be after a day’s work, an argument with your partner or after a noisy dinner with friends. You need time to be yourself, gather your thoughts, relish the silence and just totally chill out. These are precious moments and are very important for your own peace of mind and mental refreshment.

    But for many people, this feeling is not often present and loneliness takes over. As Joss Whedon once said,

    ‘Loneliness is about the scariest thing out there’.

    Read on and discover how you can exploit being alone to your own advantage and how you can defeat loneliness.

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    1. Embrace loneliness

    When you are alone, it is important to embrace it and enjoy it to the full.

    Wallow in the feeling that you do not have to be accountable for anything you do. Pursue your interests and hobbies. Take up new ones. Learn new skills. Lie on the couch. Leave the kitchen in a mess. The list can go on and on, but finding the right balance is crucial.

    There will be times when being on your own is perfect, but then there will be a creeping feeling that you should not be so isolated.

    When you start to enjoy being alone, these 10 amazing things will happen.

    Once you start feeling loneliness, then it is time to take action.

    2. Facebook is not the answer

    Have you noticed how people seek virtual contacts instead of a live, face-to-face interaction? It is true that social networking can provide an initial contact, but the chances of that becoming a real life personal contact is pretty slim.

    Being wrapped up in a cloud of sharing, liking and commenting (and insulting!) can only increase loneliness.

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    When you really want company, no one on Facebook will phone you to invite you out.

    3. Stop tolerating unhappy relationships

    It is a cruel fact of life that people are so scared of loneliness that they often opt into a relationship with the wrong person.

    There is enormous pressure from peers, family and society in general to get married or to be in a stable, long-term relationship. When this happens, people start making wrong decisions, such as:

    • hanging out with toxic company such as dishonest or untrustworthy people;
    • getting involved with unsuitable partners because of the fear of being alone or lonesome;
    • accepting inappropriate behavior just because of loneliness;
    • seeking a temporary remedy instead of making a long-term decision.

    The main problem is that you need to pause, reflect and get advice. Recognize that your fear of being alone is taking over. A rash decision now could lead to endless unhappiness.

    4. Go out and meet people

    It was the poet John Donne (1572 – 1631) who wrote:

    ‘No man is an island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent’.

    Human contact is essential to surviving in this world. Instead of wallowing in boredom and sadness, you need to get out as much as possible and seek contacts.

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    Being a member of a group, however tenuous, is a great way. So when you are in the gym, at church or simply at a club meeting, exploit these contacts to enlarge your social circle.

    There is no point in staying at home all the time. You will not meet any new people there!

    Social contacts are rather like delicate plants. You have to look after them. That means telephoning, using Skype and being there when needed.

    Take a look at this guide on How to Meet New People and Make Friends with The Best.

    5. Reach out to help someone in need

    A burden shared is a burden halved.

    Dag Hammarskjold was keenly aware of this fact when he said:

    ‘What makes loneliness an anguish is not that I have no one to share my burden but this: I have only my own burden to bear’.

    Simply put, it is a two-way street. Helping others actually helps yourself, here’s why.

    Reach out to help and people will be there when you need them.

    6. Be grateful and count your blessings

    Study after study shows that if people show gratitude, they will reap a bountiful harvest. These include a stronger immune system, better health, more positive energy and most important of all, feeling less lonely and isolated.

    If you do not believe me, watch the video below, ‘What good is gratitude?’  Now here is the path to hope and happiness:

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

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