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Positivity Ratio: If You Have One Negative Emotion, You Need Three Positive Ones to Counter It

Positivity Ratio: If You Have One Negative Emotion, You Need Three Positive Ones to Counter It

Your positive emotions radiate off of you into your environment, affecting the people in that space. People who match you in positive frequency will gravitate towards you. Being positive is the reason why desirable situations in life seem to find you. Opportune situations arise and it just so happens that you’re ready to take advantage of them. Positivity just may be the greatest element of persuasion. Would you ever let anyone who’s angry or doubtful convince you of anything?

It’s important to learn how to harness a surfeit of positive emotions that you can summon at will. We’ve all seen the person who seems to be so happy that their emotions seem disingenuous. You don’t have to be that person, your positivity can be real. You can experience true positive emotions without the air of phoniness.

There’s a positivity ratio inside everyone of us.

If you take the average individual and ask them to give you a list of negative emotions, they’ll probably be able to rattle off at least 5 to 10 different types. The answers will likely range from envy to shame to hatred. What about positive emotions? Wouldn’t it be better to have twice as many positive emotions come to mind?

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As human beings, our minds can drift back to whatever it is we have the most information about. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson refers to this as the positivity ratio.[1] Basically, you need to have more positive emotions to rely on than negative ones. If you make it a point to store lots of information on positive emotions, you’re more likely to experience those things. Information changes experiences.

Negative emotions do not carry as much power as positive ones do.

Two individuals can face the same experience but the one with a wide variety of positive emotions will prevail. Why? Negative emotions do not carry as much power. No matter what the situation is that is being faced, the person who is able to better control their emotions will have the victorious outcome.

Consider that the human brain is not designed to maintain happiness, it is designed to keep us alive. The reticular activating system is meant to let us see potential opportunity and danger. People must take it upon themselves to be very intentional about having multiple degrees of positivity to choose from. Yes, you’ll have to take action in order to live better experiences. But your actions will be meaningless unless you have the proper information.

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Human has 12 different positive emotions, it’s about arousing them.

Dr. Fredrickson, the author of Positivity, emphasizes the importance of being intentional about our emotions. She outlines a basic method of harnessing more positivity without being the cliché, fake happy person.

There are about 12 different positive emotions; gratitude, joy, serenity, interest, pride, hope, amusement, inspiration, love, altruism, relief, and awe.[2]

Fredrickson defines 10 of these 12 emotions in her book, leaving out altruism and relief. These positive emotions allow you to your face challenges with a clear head and operate on higher levels. Positive emotions change both your biochemistry and you’re mindset simultaneously.

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We can trigger certain muscles within your body and arouse positive emotions.

The next time you feel that a smile could do you some good but you’re not particularly in the mood, try this exercise.[3] Lift up the corners of your mouth stretching the corners back towards your ears while raising your eyebrows. Tilt your head upward and hold this expression for 20 seconds or longer if it feels natural.

Emotions such as regret and disappointment can dredge up negative emotions. Regrets can also signify that you have not moved on from the situation. Experience the psychological benefit of writing down what it is that you need to get over, seal it in an envelope and symbolically moving on. The exercise was conducted by associate professor of marketing, Xiuping Liu, at the National University of Singapore Business School. Liu found that those who participated in the exercise felt better and achieved psychological closure.[4] Iris Hung from the National University of Singapore made an incredible discovery about willpower. By simply tensing up your muscles, you can increase the amount of willpower you feel in your body.

The ideal positivity ratio is 3:1.

It’s ideal to have three positive emotions for every one negative emotion that brings you down.

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Completely eliminating negativity is not the goal, it’s not possible or healthy. Broaden your awareness so that you are more capable of seeing all of the good that is around you. By becoming more mindful of your emotions, you teach yourself to value positivity to a greater degree.

Increase your inner awareness by being more observant of your emotions. Track your positivity ratio throughout the day and give greater priority to the activities that bring you happiness. Be curious, this is a positive emotion too. Use your curiosity to remain open to experiencing something new and expecting good to come from it.

Reference

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It

You’ve finally reached that comfortable spot in your relationship. You finish each other’s sentences and know before they order what the other one will have for lunch at your favorite restaurant. But, it’s starting to feel like boredom to you.

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Security Can Lead to Boredom

It is normal to reach this level of security in a relationship. The longer you’re with somebody, the more you get to know them and what to expect from them. This level of familiarity is the cause of relationship boredom.

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Although security is definitely something you want with your significant other, what you don’t want is the boredom. One of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is believing that their predictability makes up for the loss of intimacy or excitement they used to feel together.[1] Why? Because this boredom increases your chances of losing the love between you.

When a couple starts to settle for feeling safe and secure, they believe nothing in the world can tear them apart. And this sense of confidence means they often stop putting effort into their relationship. Instead, their shared life becomes automatic, occurring without too much thought or investment and becoming indifferent. The last thing you want is to be in an indifferent romantic relationship. With indifference comes a whole slew of other feelings like annoyance and irritation, which in turn, prompts arguments.[2]

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Don’t allow this to happen to you and your significant other.

How to Prevent Boredom in Your Relationship

So, what can you do to avoid boredom in your relationship? Here are some great ideas to spark the passion and excitement:

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Try Something New Together

There’s nothing better for breaking up monotony than doing something new together. Do you two love taking pictures? Take a photography class together. Do you usually go hiking on the weekends? Throw a zipline or paragliding session into the mix. Research indicates that trying new activities is a great way to beat boredom.

Make a Plan for the Future

No, you don’t have to plan where you’ll buy your house or how many kids you’ll have if you’re not ready for that sort of conversation. You can, however, plan a weekend getaway or a vacation for a few months down the road. Making a plan gives you something to look forward to, which helps fight boredom. According to life coach Kelly Rogers, making plans for the future gives your relationship a little adrenaline rush, making you feel a sense of appreciation for each other.[3]

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Establish a Date Night

In your everyday, mundane life together, it can be easy to forget to make the two of you a priority. Establishing a mandatory date night is a wonderful way to bring you and your significant other together for some quality time. Melanie Schilling, a relationship psychologist, claims that date nights are actually critical to relationship health.[4] Set something specific to do together as often as your schedule allows. It doesn’t have to be dinner at an expensive restaurant either. You can plan a “no cell phone” night, a walk at the park, or even try to recreate one of your first dates together.

Remember to Say “I Love You”

Don’t forget to remind your partner why you are together, especially when boredom creeps its head between you two. Simple things like saying, “I love you” or letting them know how much you appreciate them can help you keep the romance alive in your relationship. Try to think about the happy memories the two of you have shared; it can be far too easy to dwell on the problems. Remembering why and how much you love your significant other is a great way to forget about any boredom you thought you were feeling.

Reference

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