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How To Let Go Of Anger When You Just Can’t Stop Thinking About It

How To Let Go Of Anger When You Just Can’t Stop Thinking About It

I was falling asleep and suddenly… “BANG BANG BANG”…

Loud noise from neighbourhood…it was 2 am!

It has been a tough day and I just wanted to sleep well!

Why do you have to disturb me? Tell me why…

Filled with anger, I found it even harder to fall asleep…

And I know sometimes anger just makes the situation worse, as there are a lot of consequences…

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Anger is associated with type 2 diabetes

According to an article in the Journal of Medicine and Life in 2010, anger can have a direct impact upon cardiovascular diseases. [1] Not only that, scientists also associated it with the type 2 diabetes and many other diseases that many of us are not aware of. One thing not to forget though is, unhealthy habits like smoking, taking drugs or simply eating too much, resulting in obesity might also be possible when one is too angry that they would like to take a little ‘escape’ for comfort by doing those unhealthy habits or by eating.

Anger makes you have less interaction with others

The reason why anger could lead to obesity lies on the negative effects anger has on our mental health. Anger is linked with, by many scientists in their studies, depression. When being angry, we often want to isolate ourselves from people in which we will then have little interaction, and this in long term can cause depression.

Should I just let it all hang out?

If anger is not good for our health, but why do people say it is good to “Let it All Hang Out?’’, is this even true?

The answer from psychologists is a big NO. This is actually a very dangerous myth that some of us use as an excuse to hurt one another. Research [2] supported those psychologists as it is shown that letting out of our anger, in fact, escalates our anger and aggression.

Instead of being angry at the other, it’s better for you to see how to let go of anger and keep yourself calm and peaceful.

How to let go of anger

Write down your experience on a paper

Study finds that writing down feelings does make us feel better.[3]

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Apart from feelings, it’s good to record every detail. Why? It’s tiring. When you spend so much efforts to narrate the story and record all the details, at first you may be very enthusiastic but gradually you’ll want to end it as soon as possible. This is a very effective way to make yourself move on naturally.

Things to include are:

  • What happened? When? What? Why? Who? Where?
  • Why made you particularly angry?
  • What are both of your reactions?

When you finish, glance at it once, then tear the paper into pieces. It’ll like trashing your anger!

One time I was angry with my mom and I wrote 3 pages. When I finally finished the moment I tore the paper I just laughed (it felt so good!). And my mom looked at me with a puzzled face.

Give yourself 24 hours before you react

When you’re angry, it’s hard not to react immediately.

I know how it feels…You just really want to make a counter argument and get the upper hand again…

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But if the person doesn’t care, it’s nonsense to explain to him/her. If the person cares like they’re your loved ones, when you react at once, quite likely you’ll say something inappropriate. It would become an even bigger disaster then.

One great tip a quora user [4]shared is to give yourself 24 hours before you react.

She said “To remember to give yourself 24 hours before you react. If something bothers you, angers you, hurts you or disturbs you, remember you’re not in a normal frame of mind, being put in an extreme situation. Stay calm, silent and aloof for 24 hours before you voice your opinion/act or react. If it still bothers you after 24 hours, speak about it maturely. 

You’ll be surprised at how many relationships you’ll save by not being impulsive in the heat of the moment. When you can do this, you’re wise enough.”

Really angry now? Set an alarm for yourself and deal with it 24 hours later. Meanwhile make yourself busy with things you’ve been wanting to do for so long but haven’t yet.

How to make yourself less likely to get angry in future

Great books that will make you a calmer person

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The Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love (APA Lifetools)

Instead of telling you how not to get hurt in life, this book teaches you step-by-step the way to learn to forgive about the painful things and awful people that had happened in your life. By learning to forgive will you be able to learn again, how to love and just like the title, create a legacy of love in your life for your familes, your friends and possibly for the world to feel.

Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope

Written by the same author, this book shows you how forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven and introduces you different stages in the forgiving process with examples from children of divorced parents to parents of murdered children. This book might especially be good for those who have tried but failed in forgiving before.

What to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Problems With Anger

Managing our emotions should actually be learned in a younger age in life and this book provides you and your kid the guide to deal with their anger and what to do when one is angry. This is a perfect book for parents who want to but think it is hard to teach their kids the way to deal with their anger and to explain how overcoming problems with anger will not work.

Meditation

Mediation is a great way to calm your emotions including anger. But it takes time to practice before you can master the skills. You can learn more about how to meditate with this article.

Reference

More by this author

Chloe Chong

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Last Updated on August 20, 2018

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

Sometimes it’s easier to focus on what we don’t have, rather than what we do have. It’s important to take time out and remember all of the things to be thankful for that many of us take for granted.

    Here you’ll find 60 very solid things to be thankful for in your everyday life. These are great reminders for you to treasure everything you have.

    1. Good Health

    Even if you’re health isn’t great, it could be worse and you likely still have some working parts to be thankful for.

    2. Money in the Bank

    Having just a few coins makes you richer than most people on Earth.

    3. Good Friends

    Often, it’s the quality of friendships, not the quantity.

    4. Freedom of Religion

    Being able to worship whomever and however you want is something many people don’t ever experience.

    5. Your Parents

    Even if they’re dysfunctional, they gave you life.

    6. Weekends

    There’s something magical about weekends.

    7.Having a Partner

    Being in a romantic relationship can teach you so much about the world and yourself.

    8. Pets

    Pets offer one of the best examples of unconditional love.

    9. Learning from Mistakes

    If we never made mistakes, we wouldn’t learn much so it is one of those things we should be thankful for.

    10. Opportunity to Get an Education

    The opportunity to attend school is something many people don’t have.

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    11. Having a Home

    Whether you live in an apartment, a mansion, or a tent, having a place to call home is something to be thankful for.

    12. An Ability to Read

    If you’re reading this right now, you have a lot to be thankful for.

    13. Breathing Fresh Air

    Being able to step outside to breathe in fresh air is a good reminder how many little things we should be thankful for.

    14. A Bed to Sleep

    A bed is one of those things that’s easy to take for granted, until you don’t have one.

    15. Laughter

    Without laughter, the world would be a sad place.

    16. Safety and Security

    Being able to wake up without immense fear frees us up to really live life.

    17. Cars

    Without cars, it would take a lot longer to get our activities done.

    18. Sunshine

    The sun’s warmth can brighten any day.

    19. Time

    Although we often don’t think there’s enough of it, time is something we shouldn’t take for granted.

    20. Clean Water

    Many people on earth lack access to clean water.

    21. Cell Phones

    Cell phones make talking to loved ones easy.

    22. Love

    The world sure would be a different place if we lacked the ability to love.

    23. Books

    Books provide an opportunity to enter another world all from the comfort of your own home.

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    24. Kindness of Strangers

    Never take the kindness of a stranger for granted.

    25. Campfires

    The simplicity of a campfire creates lifelong memories.

    26. Pain

    Without pain, it would be difficulty to appreciate life’s joys.

    27. Art

    The world would be less beautiful if art didn’t exist.

    28. Holidays

    Any reason to celebrate is something we should be thankful for.

    29. Freedom of Speech

    Being able to express your thoughts and feelings freely should never be taken for granted.

    30. Rainbows

    The beauty of a rainbow is unmatched.

    31. Tears

    Sometimes when there are no words to say, tears express how we feel for us.

    32. Waking up Today

    Simply waking up today means you have things to be thankful for.

    33. Indoor Plumbing

    Indoor plumbing not only provides convenience, it spares us from disease.

    34. Wisdom that Comes with Age

    Thankfully, we grow smarter over time.

    35. Mountains

    Mountains provide us with beauty and recreation.

    36. Eyesight

    Being able to see allows us to view the world’s beauty.

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    37. Grocery Stores

    Grocery stores mean we don’t have to spend all of our time getting our own food.

    38. Sunsets

    Sunsets are a reminder that we should enjoy the simple things in life.

    39. Entertainment

    Entertainment gives us a way to relax and enjoy life.

    40. Your Mind

    Being able to think, remember, and solve problems sure makes life easier.

    41. Employment

    Even if you don’t like your job, being employed means someone thought you were special enough to hire.

    42. Diversity

    The world would be a boring place without diversity.

    43. Moon and Stars

    The moon and stars encourage us to dream.

    44. Electricity

    Electricity makes most of our chores efficient.

    45. Air Conditioning

    Staying cool on a hot day is something people wouldn’t have dreamed about in past centuries.

    46. Hearing

    Being able to hear your loved one’s voice is something that not everyone gets to do.

    47. Children

    Watching children laugh, grow, and dream can keep things in perspective.

    48. Ability to Learn

    The ability to learn new things means we have endless potential.

    49. People Willing to Teach

    Whether it’s your grandmother teaching you to knit or your plumber showing you how to prevent future problems, be grateful that others are willing to use their time and talents to teach you something new.

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    50. Oceans

    The sea creatures in the ocean almost seem too mystical to be real.

    51. Modern Medicine

    Without advances in modern medicine, many of us wouldn’t be alive.

    52. Music

    Music brings out new emotions.

    53. Entrepreneurs

    Some of life’s best inventions resulted from an entrepreneur who was willing to take a risk.

    54. Warm Clothing

    On a cold day, there’s nothing more important than warm clothing.

    55. Freedom to Vote

    Being able to have a say in the laws should never be taken for granted.

    56. An Internet Connection

    It’s hard to believe how easy it is to take the internet for granted, seeing how none of us had just a couple of decades ago.

    57. Challenges

    Without challenges in life, we wouldn’t be the people we are now.

    58. Hiking Trails

    Hiking trails give us the chance to enjoy mother’s nature beauty.

    59. Vaccines

    Many of us wouldn’t be alive without today’s vaccinations.

    60. Armed Forces

    Our lives would likely be very different if we didn’t have protection from the armed forces.

    Realizing all the things you should be thankful for is the first step, practicing gratitude is what you should start doing:

    6 Ways To Implement More Gratitude In Your Life

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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