Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on June 17, 2020

12 Steps to Building the Ideal Life You Dream of

12 Steps to Building the Ideal Life You Dream of

The ideal lifestyle is possible. Everyone can live the way they want… and in fact, they do. Because the way you live now, regardless of whether you like it or not, is what you chose to live like.

And you realize that mostly when you compare yourself to others, or when you do things you don’t want to do (the job you don’t like, different tasks and commitments). It’s when you see the bigger picture and understand this is not the way you want to live that you become aware of the fact that you can actually live better. So then you ask yourself: “What do I want my life to be like?” and “Who do I want to be in it?”.

And that itself is the first step towards your journey to the ideal life. It’s not about perfectionism, not at all. It’s about not having to work something we can’t stand, do things we don’t want, miss opportunities, lack time and sleep and so on.

It’s about enjoying life more, doing what you love, becoming someone you can be proud of, doing things for others and actually spending more time with your loved ones, creating things, giving and sharing… and simply being happy and contented with every day of your life.

1. Define the Ideal Lifestyle

For a start, ask yourself those two questions:

“What do I want my life to be like?” and “Who do I want to be in it?”

Answer them in the best and most honest way possible, because this will be your definition of what you want in life and who you want to become, and will eventually become your reality after some time.

An important thing you don’t want to miss is accepting the idea that you need to become someone else in order to live another kind of lifestyle. Many people think about what they could improve in the outer world and tend to forget that many inner changes will happen that are often more crucial. So be aware of that and embrace the qualities you need to build to become that person.

Advertising

2. Eliminate the Unnecessary

There are many things in your life right now that are preventing you from moving on. They may be people, thoughts, events, habits and so on. What you need to do is to eliminate them because they don’t have a place in your ideal lifestyle.

These are the things that hold you back from living the life you want: 12 Things You Do That Are Holding You Back From Success

3. Find What Works Best for You

Now that you have eliminated the unnecessary, you can make another step in your personal development. And this is the time to try and fail as much as possible.

What I mean is, you need to find what works best for you. And the best way is to try as many different things as you can and preferably fail many times. Because there is no better teacher than experience. Once you fail at something, you will know whether or not it’s for you and if it’s worth working on it.

Experiment with everything. You will eventually find out which works best for you — whether it’s a hobby, a job, the food you eat, the habits you do etc. Listen to your instincts in this case and do what’s best for you. Find your thing and stick to it.

4. Build a Few Keystone Habits

A keystone habit is a habit that provokes a chain of other activities that are good for you.

Getting up early for me is connected to a morning ritual with a healthy breakfast, a quick workout and a positive start of the day. This usually includes reading affirmations out loud and writing something. Going to the gym every day helps me stay on track. It’s followed by alternating hot and cold showers and staying motivated for the rest of the day.

The earlier you build such habits, the better. Once you make them stick, everything else will improve too. So work on them now and concentrate on other things later.

Advertising

Here are the best habits you can start implementing now:

  • working out
  • meditating
  • eating healthy
  • getting up early
  • planning your day from the night before

They are proven to work wonders and it’s very important to stick to them no matter what. Just make them lifelong habits and do the certain thing even if you’re on a vacation, even after you’ve had a bad day, even when everything seems pointless.

5. Find Your Passion

Listen to your inner voice, focus on the things you enjoy doing.

The point is not to only find it, but also embrace it, get better in it and make it an essential part of your daily life. You will find yourself living a more intentional and fulfilling life.

Learn How to Find Purpose in Life and Make Yourself a Better Person.

6. Make It Your Career

Here things get a little harder as you’ll need to work on your passion. But the difference this time is that you’ll be doing something you love, so you can’t really call it working.

If you want to become a writer, write every single day, whenever you can. Try to improve your writing at the same time and find ways to promote your work.

If you are a gym freak, master your performance in the gym. Keep your body in shape. Learn everything in this niche and get a certificate. Become a personal trainer and help others achieve the fitness goals they want.

Advertising

Absolutely everything in this world can be mastered and turned into something prosperous. Once you find what your passion is, work hard on it, dedicate time, energy and effort in it, and you’ll manage to make it your life’s work — one that perfectly suits your ideal life.

7. Decide What Time You Want to Spend Working

Arrange things in such a way that you’ll be able to work productively. It could be a few hours each day, or 4 days in a week.

Just make sure that you’re dedicating sufficient time and work to turn what you love into a profitable career.

Take a look at these 5 Steps To Turn Your Passion Into A Career.

8. Travel Often

Traveling is one of the best things you can do in life. It’s important to make it something you’ll do at least once or twice a year.

Most people usually travel to get out of reality and forget about their problems. But since you’ve built such a lifestyle that has a great reality and you don’t want to escape from it, traveling actullay offers you the opportunity to see the beauty of the world, and learn about the customs and culture of other countries.

This way your life will never be sedentary and you’ll never get bored.

9. Have Hobbies

Besides your career, what other things do yuo enjoy doing? Have some hobbies that can help you to rest or entertain your mind and body.

Advertising

Take a look at these 20 Productive Hobbies That Will Make You Smarter and Happier.

10. Be Always on the Go

Never miss an opportunity to learn something new. No matter who you are now and what your income is, you always have what to learn.

Don’t neglect your spiritual and mental world. Meditate, read good books and find inspiration. Here’re 10 Ways to Find Learning Motivation (Even After You’ve Graduated).

11. Always Be Open for New Things

Try to do something new and something you fear a few times a month.

It may be approaching strangers, bungee jumping, public speaking, dancing, visiting new countries, trying new sports, etc. Each time you try something new, you challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone and grow. Try these 7 Ways To Push Yourself Out Of Your Comfort Zones.

12. Give and Be Grateful

Giving is the best investment and can make you way more contented than buying new stuff. So be able to give as much as you can, be it advice, encouragement or resources.

Also, never forget to be grateful. Each step of this journey should go along with appreciation. Express your gratitude to everything and everyone you have in life daily.

Final Thoughts

You see, building the ideal life may take some time and effort, but it’s not impossible.You just need a burning desire to achieve it all, and the willingness to work for it. Eventually, you’ll know it’s all worth it to lead the life you truly want.

More Tips About Living the Life You Want

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

More by this author

Lidiya K

Lidiya is the founder of Let's Reach Success, a blog on personal, spiritual and business growth.

12 Steps to Building the Ideal Life You Dream of How To Live a Good Life By Making These 8 Choices 6 Quick Things You Can Do Right Now to Declutter Your Life 6 Quick Things You Can Do Right Now to Declutter Your Life 30 Thoughts to Keep You Positive Why Becoming Self-Employed is The Answer

Trending in Communication

1 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way 2 How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good 3 15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation 4 How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often 5 Feeling Super Stressed? Do This Daily Routine Every Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

Advertising

2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

Advertising

Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

Advertising

12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

Read Next