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12 Steps To Building The Ideal Lifestyle

12 Steps To Building The Ideal Lifestyle

The ideal lifestyle is possible. Everyone can live the way they want… and in fact, they do. Because the way you live now, regardless of whether you like it or not, is what you chose to live like.

And you realize that mostly when you compare yourself to others, or when you do things you don’t want to do (the job you don’t like, different tasks and commitments). It’s when you see the bigger picture and understand this is not the way you want to live that you become aware of the fact that you can actually live better. So then you ask yourself: “What do I want my life to be like?” and “Who do I want to be in it?”.

And that itself is the first step towards your journey to the ideal lifestyle. It’s not about perfectionism, not at all. It’s about not having to work something we can’t stand, do things we don’t want, miss opportunities, lack time and sleep and so on.

It’s about enjoying life more, doing what you love, becoming someone you can be proud of, doing things for others and actually spending more time with your loved ones, creating things, giving and sharing… and simply being happy and contented with every day of your life.

1. Define the ideal lifestyle

For a start, ask yourself those two questions: “What do I want my life to be like?” and “Who do I want to be in it?”. Answer them in the best and most honest way possible, because this will be your definition of what you want in life and who you want to become, and will eventually become your reality after some time.

An important thing you don’t want to miss is accepting the idea that you need to become someone else in order to live another kind of lifestyle. Many people thing what could they improve in the outer world and tend to forget that many inner changes will happen too that are often more crucial. So be aware of that and embrace the qualities you need to build to become that person.

2. Eliminate the unnecessary

Without doing this, you can’t go any further. Because there are many things in your life right now that are preventing you from moving on. They may be people, thoughts, events, habits and so on. What you need to do is to eliminate them because they don’t have a place in your ideal lifestyle.

I don’t want to repeat myself (I’ve already written about it in a previous post), so here are the things that hold you back.

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3. Find what works best for you

Now that you have eliminated the unnecessary, you can make another step in your personal development. And this is the time to try and fail as much as possible. What I mean is, you need to find what works best for you. And the best way is to try as many different things as you can and preferably fail many times. Because there is no better teacher than experience and once you fail at something, you will know whether or not it’s for you and if it’s worth working on it.

Experiment with everything.

You will eventually find our which is the best sport for you, the foods that give you energy and boost your metabolism, the best time during the day for personal projects or working, the habits you need to establish, how you want to look, talk and behave and so on. You may decide that waking up at 5 a.m. is just not your things and although it’s connected with productivity and most successful people do it, you’re just more productive around lunch, or in the evening. So listen to your instincts in this case and do what’s best for you.

Test different sleep patterns, working hours, behavior, motivation strategies and so on. Find your thing and stick to it.

4. Build a few keystone habits

A keystone habit is a habit that provokes a chain of other activities that are good for you.

Getting up early for me is connected to a morning ritual with a healthy breakfast, a quick workout and a positive start of the day. This usually includes reading affirmations out loud and writing something. Going to the gym every day helps me stay on track. It’s followed by alternating hot and cold showers and staying motivated for the rest of the day. The earlier you build such habits, the better. Once you make them stick], everything else will improve too. So work on them now and concentrate on other things later.

Here are the best habits you can start implementing now:

  • working out;
  • meditating;
  • eating healthy;
  • getting up early;
  • planning your day from the night before;

They are proven to work wonders and it’s very important to stick to them no matter what. Just make them lifelong habits and do the certain thing even if you’re on a vacation, even after you’ve had a bad day, even when everything seems pointless.

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5. Find you passion

This can happen by listening to your inner voice, focusing on the things you enjoy doing, and trying new things.

The point is to not only find it, but also embrace it, get better in this things and make it an essential part of your daily life.

That will brings you such happiness, contentedness and purpose that you’ll never doubt it’s your thing.

6. Make it your job

Here things get a little harder as you’ll need to work on your passion as you’ve probably never worked before in your life. But the difference this time is that you’ll be doing something you love, so you can’t really call it working.

If you want to become a writer, write every single day, whenever you can. Try to improve your writing at the same time and find ways to promote your work.

If you are a gym freak, master your performance in the gym. Shape your body. Learn everything in this niche and get a certificate. Become a personal trainer and help others achieve the body you want. This way you’ll communicate only with people willing to improve themselves and will spend most of your days in the gym. Maybe open one of your own one day.

If the only thing you want is to become good in picking up girls, then practice that and master it. Read everything you can. It’s pure psychology so find out what you need to know about human behavior, how the brain works, confidence and so on. Practice it daily by talking to every girl you meet. Become overconfident and able to impress every girl you speak with. Then when you can consider yourself great in doing it, start teaching others how to do it. Make a blog, give ideas, train other shy guys how to get out there. Make videos, share advice. Speak in the 21 Convention one day.

I gave 3 totally random examples because I wanted to show you how absolutely everything in this world can be mastered and turned into something prosperous. Once you find what your passion is, work hard on it, dedicate time, energy and effort, believe in it every single day, you’ll manage to make it your job.

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And this will be a dream job. One that perfectly suits an ideal lifestyle.

7. Decide what time you want to spend working

Arrange things in such a way that you’ll be able to work every second week, a few hours each day, or 4 days in a week. It could be anything.

But this, of course, will be after you’ve worked hard enough and long enough (a year or so) and have turned what you love into a business.

8. Travel often

Traveling is one of the best things you can do in life. It’s important to make it something you’ll do at least once or twice a year. Preferably every 2-3 months. Most people usually travel to get out of reality and forget about their problems. But you’ve build such a lifestyle that has a great reality and you don’t want escape from it. Traveling is just because you don’t want to get stuck, to miss out on the beautiful things the world has to offer. You will refind yourself too while doing it, learn a lot about other cultures and see the beauty of life.

This way your life will never be sedentary and you’ll never get bored.

9. Have hobbies

Find out other things you enjoy doing and dedicate time to them every now and then.

10. Be always on the go

Never miss an opportunity to learn something new. No matter who you are now and what your income is, you always have what to learn.

Don’t neglect your spiritual and mental world. Meditate, read good books and find inspiration.

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11. Always be open for new things

Try to do something new and something you fear a few times a month.

It may be approaching strangers, bungee jumping, public speaking, dancing, visiting new countries, trying new sports, etc.

Each of them will be an amazing experience and will make your life even more exciting.

12. Give and be grateful

Giving is the best investment and can make you way more contented than buying new stuff. So be able to give as much as you can, be it advice, help, encouragement, money, stuff you don’t use and need.  Volunteer or give for charity. Also never forget to be grateful. Each step of this journey should go along with appreciation. Everything you have, even when it’s not more, is amazing and a big reason to feel deeply grateful. Express that feeling everyday towards the things, people, events and stuff in your life.

You see, building the ideal lifestyle may take some time, but it’s not impossible. Actually anyone can have it. They just need a burning desire to achieve all that, willingness to sacrifice, patience and a strong belief.

Eventually, they’ll understand it’s all worth it. And enjoying the journey is one of the things that make the ideal lifestyle such a sweet experience.

Featured photo credit: Slow, Mikael Tigerström via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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