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12 Steps To Building The Ideal Lifestyle

12 Steps To Building The Ideal Lifestyle

The ideal lifestyle is possible. Everyone can live the way they want… and in fact, they do. Because the way you live now, regardless of whether you like it or not, is what you chose to live like.

And you realize that mostly when you compare yourself to others, or when you do things you don’t want to do (the job you don’t like, different tasks and commitments). It’s when you see the bigger picture and understand this is not the way you want to live that you become aware of the fact that you can actually live better. So then you ask yourself: “What do I want my life to be like?” and “Who do I want to be in it?”.

And that itself is the first step towards your journey to the ideal lifestyle. It’s not about perfectionism, not at all. It’s about not having to work something we can’t stand, do things we don’t want, miss opportunities, lack time and sleep and so on.

It’s about enjoying life more, doing what you love, becoming someone you can be proud of, doing things for others and actually spending more time with your loved ones, creating things, giving and sharing… and simply being happy and contented with every day of your life.

1. Define the ideal lifestyle

For a start, ask yourself those two questions: “What do I want my life to be like?” and “Who do I want to be in it?”. Answer them in the best and most honest way possible, because this will be your definition of what you want in life and who you want to become, and will eventually become your reality after some time.

An important thing you don’t want to miss is accepting the idea that you need to become someone else in order to live another kind of lifestyle. Many people thing what could they improve in the outer world and tend to forget that many inner changes will happen too that are often more crucial. So be aware of that and embrace the qualities you need to build to become that person.

2. Eliminate the unnecessary

Without doing this, you can’t go any further. Because there are many things in your life right now that are preventing you from moving on. They may be people, thoughts, events, habits and so on. What you need to do is to eliminate them because they don’t have a place in your ideal lifestyle.

I don’t want to repeat myself (I’ve already written about it in a previous post), so here are the things that hold you back.

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3. Find what works best for you

Now that you have eliminated the unnecessary, you can make another step in your personal development. And this is the time to try and fail as much as possible. What I mean is, you need to find what works best for you. And the best way is to try as many different things as you can and preferably fail many times. Because there is no better teacher than experience and once you fail at something, you will know whether or not it’s for you and if it’s worth working on it.

Experiment with everything.

You will eventually find our which is the best sport for you, the foods that give you energy and boost your metabolism, the best time during the day for personal projects or working, the habits you need to establish, how you want to look, talk and behave and so on. You may decide that waking up at 5 a.m. is just not your things and although it’s connected with productivity and most successful people do it, you’re just more productive around lunch, or in the evening. So listen to your instincts in this case and do what’s best for you.

Test different sleep patterns, working hours, behavior, motivation strategies and so on. Find your thing and stick to it.

4. Build a few keystone habits

A keystone habit is a habit that provokes a chain of other activities that are good for you.

Getting up early for me is connected to a morning ritual with a healthy breakfast, a quick workout and a positive start of the day. This usually includes reading affirmations out loud and writing something. Going to the gym every day helps me stay on track. It’s followed by alternating hot and cold showers and staying motivated for the rest of the day. The earlier you build such habits, the better. Once you make them stick], everything else will improve too. So work on them now and concentrate on other things later.

Here are the best habits you can start implementing now:

  • working out;
  • meditating;
  • eating healthy;
  • getting up early;
  • planning your day from the night before;

They are proven to work wonders and it’s very important to stick to them no matter what. Just make them lifelong habits and do the certain thing even if you’re on a vacation, even after you’ve had a bad day, even when everything seems pointless.

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5. Find you passion

This can happen by listening to your inner voice, focusing on the things you enjoy doing, and trying new things.

The point is to not only find it, but also embrace it, get better in this things and make it an essential part of your daily life.

That will brings you such happiness, contentedness and purpose that you’ll never doubt it’s your thing.

6. Make it your job

Here things get a little harder as you’ll need to work on your passion as you’ve probably never worked before in your life. But the difference this time is that you’ll be doing something you love, so you can’t really call it working.

If you want to become a writer, write every single day, whenever you can. Try to improve your writing at the same time and find ways to promote your work.

If you are a gym freak, master your performance in the gym. Shape your body. Learn everything in this niche and get a certificate. Become a personal trainer and help others achieve the body you want. This way you’ll communicate only with people willing to improve themselves and will spend most of your days in the gym. Maybe open one of your own one day.

If the only thing you want is to become good in picking up girls, then practice that and master it. Read everything you can. It’s pure psychology so find out what you need to know about human behavior, how the brain works, confidence and so on. Practice it daily by talking to every girl you meet. Become overconfident and able to impress every girl you speak with. Then when you can consider yourself great in doing it, start teaching others how to do it. Make a blog, give ideas, train other shy guys how to get out there. Make videos, share advice. Speak in the 21 Convention one day.

I gave 3 totally random examples because I wanted to show you how absolutely everything in this world can be mastered and turned into something prosperous. Once you find what your passion is, work hard on it, dedicate time, energy and effort, believe in it every single day, you’ll manage to make it your job.

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And this will be a dream job. One that perfectly suits an ideal lifestyle.

7. Decide what time you want to spend working

Arrange things in such a way that you’ll be able to work every second week, a few hours each day, or 4 days in a week. It could be anything.

But this, of course, will be after you’ve worked hard enough and long enough (a year or so) and have turned what you love into a business.

8. Travel often

Traveling is one of the best things you can do in life. It’s important to make it something you’ll do at least once or twice a year. Preferably every 2-3 months. Most people usually travel to get out of reality and forget about their problems. But you’ve build such a lifestyle that has a great reality and you don’t want escape from it. Traveling is just because you don’t want to get stuck, to miss out on the beautiful things the world has to offer. You will refind yourself too while doing it, learn a lot about other cultures and see the beauty of life.

This way your life will never be sedentary and you’ll never get bored.

9. Have hobbies

Find out other things you enjoy doing and dedicate time to them every now and then.

10. Be always on the go

Never miss an opportunity to learn something new. No matter who you are now and what your income is, you always have what to learn.

Don’t neglect your spiritual and mental world. Meditate, read good books and find inspiration.

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11. Always be open for new things

Try to do something new and something you fear a few times a month.

It may be approaching strangers, bungee jumping, public speaking, dancing, visiting new countries, trying new sports, etc.

Each of them will be an amazing experience and will make your life even more exciting.

12. Give and be grateful

Giving is the best investment and can make you way more contented than buying new stuff. So be able to give as much as you can, be it advice, help, encouragement, money, stuff you don’t use and need.  Volunteer or give for charity. Also never forget to be grateful. Each step of this journey should go along with appreciation. Everything you have, even when it’s not more, is amazing and a big reason to feel deeply grateful. Express that feeling everyday towards the things, people, events and stuff in your life.

You see, building the ideal lifestyle may take some time, but it’s not impossible. Actually anyone can have it. They just need a burning desire to achieve all that, willingness to sacrifice, patience and a strong belief.

Eventually, they’ll understand it’s all worth it. And enjoying the journey is one of the things that make the ideal lifestyle such a sweet experience.

Featured photo credit: Slow, Mikael Tigerström via flickr.com

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Last Updated on February 20, 2019

How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home

How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home

Possessing effective communication skills is a powerful tool to have. Effective communication skills are essential to success in many aspects and areas of your life. There are a lot of jobs that require you to be a good communicator.

Strong communication skills help you enjoy better relationships with friends and family. Being an effective communicator will give you advantages in more ways than you can imagine.

Conversely, being poor at communicating will negatively impact your life.

Let’s take a look at how to master effective communication skills at work and home.

What is Effective Communication?

Probably a good place to start is to paint a picture of what clear communication is.

Effective communication is defined as verbal speech or other communication methods to get your point across. Sounds pretty simple, right? It does but there’s more to it than that.

It’s really about how all of us interact and communicate in every aspect of our lives. It’s the ability to say something at the right time; to be able to get multiple people on the same page in a group decision. It’s how that one friend of yours who plans most of the activities is able to get everyone to the same place at the same time.

Non-verbal communication is key to being effective as well. It’s the ability to have your body language say the right thing so the person you’re speaking to knows your listening.

Effective communicators don’t react to situations with high emotion. It means not having to say something all the time in every situation. You are even being an effective communicator when you show up to pick your daughter up from the mall when you say you will. You are communicating to her that she can rely on you.

Are You a Poor Communicator?

Before we get too deep into how to be a master communicator, let’s take a look at your communication skills.

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If you find yourself agreeing with a lot of these, you might want to sharpen your communication skills.

  • You’re constantly interrupting – Hey, I know, we all want to be listened to. We all want to get our point across. Most importantly, we want to be understood. If you find yourself interrupting all the time you aren’t listening enough.
  • Doing too much – Many of us are master multi-taskers. It’s not good if you are communicating with someone. When you try to do too much while speaking with someone, you aren’t paying attention to what they are saying. Lack of focus is bad.
  • Rambling – I know of several people I work with who do this constantly. I honestly dread having to speak to them. The worst part is even though a lot of words are coming out of their mouths, they really aren’t saying anything. I’m more confused after they answer my question.
  • Not being direct – Nothing wrong with emails or reports. However, if you can convey the same information quickly and directly to someone, it is much more effective. Why write a 2 paragraph email when you can pick up the phone and say the same information in 2 sentences?
  • Always talking about yourself – Everybody likes to relate things to their own experiences. It draws us together and helps us create a feeling of sharing and community. If you are always coloring someone else’s conversation with a similar situation in your life, people will think you are making everything about you. Don’t be that person!
  • Using a lot of qualifiers – Qualifiers are fine for the most part. When you use them as a crutch most of the time when you speak, it’s not helping your communication. Sometimes, we do this to makes things seem “softer”. Saying things like “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but…” or “I know what you’re thinking but…” over and over doesn’t help you communicate.
  • Your ears don’t work – If you don’t listen well, you can’t answer someone correctly. In order to be an effective communicator, you have to understand what someone else is saying to you. If you don’t listen with purpose you will only have part of the picture.
  • Bad body language – The importance of body language is well documented. If you don’t look at someone when they are speaking, it appears that you don’t really care what’s being said. This makes people feel like you don’t care what they are saying and it’s not important to you. Other bad body language examples include always crossing your arms and not looking someone in the eyes.

What Effective Communication Can Do For You

Let’s take a look at how being able to effectively communicate can help you at work and in your personal relationships.

Work

  • Better client relationships – You certainly want a great communicator to be handling your client relationships. Strong communicators represent both the client and your company is the best manner.
  • Higher employee engagement – Pretty critical if you are a leader or a manager of people. An engaging and interactive communicator in a leadership position is wonderful for employees.
  • Getting better buy in from others – This is great whether you are a manager or individual contributor. Strong communicators tend to get people moving and working towards a common goal.
  • Helps mitigate conflict – Good communicators are able to help resolve conflicts quicker and easier. This helps smooth things over and keeps projects and initiatives moving forward.
  • Builds trust – You want to be able to trust who you work for and with. Effective communicators are good at establishing and building trust between people and groups.
  • Solves problems – Problems are solved by people with the ability to communicate clearly between groups and people. Those without good communication skills many times add to the confusion of a problem because they are unable to articulate their thoughts and ideas.

Personal relationships

  • Creates closeness – A good communicator is able to help foster a feeling of closeness with his or her partner.
  • Makes conflict okay – It’s actually better to fight with your partner from time to time instead of never fighting. We all have differences of opinion and points of view. When we don’t express these and bury it inside by not communicating, it just comes out later in a more negative form.
  • Provides support – It’s nice to know that someone cares about you and supports you. A strong communicator will ask how you’re doing and be a good sounding board for what you’re going through.
  • Expressing feelings – People who are not effective communicators tend to be not very good at expressing how they feel. This makes it tough to share your feelings with you partner.
  • Get the loving you want – In order to get the physical, mental, and emotional love you want and need, you have to be able to communicate clearly and appropriately with your spouse or partner. This is done through effective communication.
  • Eliminate mistrust, doubt, faithlessness, and insecurities – Many times these seeds are sown due to a lack of communication. If your partner rarely tells you where he or she is going, you will tend to start coming up with your own ideas. Often these aren’t true but how would you know if you aren’t told?

Can You Improve Your Communication Skills?

The short answer is yes, of course you can improve your communication skills.

Improving or changing anything in your life takes some work and effort but it can be done. You have to keep in mind your starting point and your goal.

If you are not a very good communicator now and you want to be able to give a motivating speech to a large graduating class, you’d better get working.

On the other hand, if you get along fairly well in general but want to be able to improve your relationship with your boss or spouse by being able to master effective communication, you may just need some guidance and practice.

Either way, if you want to master effective communication skills at both work and home, it will take a little work and effort. Doing so will benefit you in many ways.

How to Master Effective Communication Skills

In general mastering effective communication skills will help you at both work and home. Let’s look at how to improve verbal, written, and body language communication skills. These will help you create better relationships everywhere you go!

1. Learn how to listen

Speaking is only half of the communication equation. Sharpen your listening skills so you are able to process what the other person is saying. You can then respond it a well-informed manner.

Check out these active listening guidelines to be a better listener.

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2. Make eye contact

Having regular eye contact with someone while you are having a conversation shows you care what they are saying. When you are looking at the floor or out the window it gives the impression that you aren’t paying attention.

Take a look at this advice on how to make engaging eye contact.

3. Ask questions

When you ask someone questions, you are able to clarify what they are saying to ensure you get the whole picture. If you don’t understand it fully, ask questions.

Do you know that it takes some skills to ask questions too? Here’s how to be good at asking questions.

4. Watch body language

Watch both yours and the other persons.

We all know if you have a conversation with your arms crossed the entire time, it gives off a bad vibe. Have open, engaging body language when speaking with someone.

On the flip side, if you see someone’s eyes glazing over while speaking to you, it’s probably a good idea to wrap it up.

Take a look at these top 20 body language indicators to learn more.

5. Speak confidently

Sometimes this is easier said than done. If you communicate in an open, direct, and clear manner, it subtly shows people that you are confident in what you are saying.

It doesn’t mean you always have to be right but delivering your thoughts with confidence helps your case.

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These tips will help you speak more confidently.

6. Keep it simple

You don’t always have to be succinct in your communication. There is a lot of value in being able to tell a great story.

That being said, there are many instances where keeping it simple is very helpful. This is especially true at work in both verbal conversations as well as written like emails.

7. Know your audience

You should have a certain style when communicating with your boss. Another style of communication is better with your spouse and probably others with your kids or friends.

Know your audience to help you communicate the most effectively.

8. Be empathetic and understanding

There is a massive amount of power in being empathetic. And I mean that in a very positive way.

Showing that you are empathetic and understanding to another person goes a long way to creating a great bond with that person. We all want to be understood. It’s that simple.

Think it’s a challenge for you? These 5 tips for empathetic listening will help you.

9. Pause before reacting

There have been a number of times when I’ve read an email that just came in and had an instant reaction to reading it. And I don’t mean a positive reaction. My less effective ways of dealing and communicating has been to send a scathing email back.

When I’ve communicated more appropriately, I’ve waited a while before I responded. This is true in verbal situations as well.

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10. Over communicate

You’d think if you tell someone something that should be the end of it, right? Done deal. Not so fast.

I’m not recommending you tell someone the same thing 10 times in a row. With as many distractions as we all have these days, it’s generally a good idea to follow up on something you’ve communicated a few times if it’s important.

Conclusion

Having effective communication skills at both work and home will help you immensely.

At work, it helps you in your career in many ways.

Communicating well with your boss leads to a solid, symbiotic working relationship. You’re able to clearly articulate what you need to do your job well. You can share your vision and strategy with your boss and others. Good communicators are needed in management roles and leading others. Fostering an environment of effective communication leads to a great work environment.

At home, having effective communication skills will help you achieve the type of relationship you want with your spouse.

You are able to speak freely and openly about your feelings. You can share your wants and needs in a manner that your spouse understands. Your spouse will feel understood and supported by you which is a wonderful feeling to have. And being able to have a disagreement and work through it due to strong communication skills is amazing.

Look at how you can master effective communication skills at work and home to help create more satisfying relationships in all phases of your life.

More Resources About Work Communication

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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