Advertising

Published on December 18, 2020

What Is Wrong With Me? 3 Ways to Figure Out Life Again

What Is Wrong With Me? 3 Ways to Figure Out Life Again
Advertising

If you have felt that the last 8 months felt like living inside an episode of Black Mirror, you are not alone. The year 2020 has felt like getting punched in the face, over and over again. The amount of pressure that each human is under had been magnified in unimaginable ways. Most people might ask, “What is wrong with me?”

While the ongoing pandemic ravages the globe and political turmoil are felt across nations, it’s not hard to see why you may be feeling lost, confused, or out of place in life. The extent to which the Covid-19 Global Pandemic has affected your mental health, emotional stability, and overall confidence cannot be underscored enough. The United States is an excellent case study of the deleterious effects this pandemic has had on the mental health of most people.

From January to September 2020, the United States experienced a consistent uptick in adults reporting feelings of depression and/or anxiety. As a result, the US saw a 62% increase in depression screenings and a 92% increase in anxiety screenings.[1] Unless you have been hiding in a cave without tv or internet and have everyone you love with you, COVID-19 has impacted your daily life in some negative way.

Life has completely changed forever. But that doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. It makes sense that you are trying to figure out a new way to navigate through this uncertain landscape.

Here are the 3 things you need to remember that will help you start figuring out life in this new post-corona reality.

Advertising

1. Feeling Lost Is Normal

You’ve lost your way. While it may feel completely overwhelming, it isn’t novel. Millions, perhaps each of the billions of people on the planet, have lost their way at some point during their lifetime. Feeling lost doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you.

Admitting that you do not feel right will help you realize that you are unclear about:

  • what you should do next,
  • if you are on the right track,
  • f you should stay the course,
  • if you made the choices that led you to this moment,
  • and why you want to continue or discontinue this course of action.

When you find that you are questioning yourself about fundamental things in your life, then that is a good indication that something is up, and you should inquire further.

Once you have made this critical admission with yourself, don’t rush to generate answers. Give yourself some time to sit with the question. It’s easier said than done. However, the data that comes from intentional reflection on these important questions is more valuable than gold.

Understand that this process of intentional reflection may take some time. You will have to be very gentle with yourself. Know that there will be times when the process may feel uncomfortable ad hard. Remember to give yourself a lot of grace throughout the process, especially when you feel like giving up.

Advertising

The fact that you have lost your way is an indication that you have arrived at an important moment in your life. You are aware that things feel out of alignment, and you want to do something about it. Ultimately, taking the steps to find yourself offers you an opportunity to learn more about yourself.[2]

2. Stop Clinging and Let Go

The chaos of feeling lost can be intoxicating. Escaping its grip is not easy, but the process is simple. Stop clinging to the discomfort, sadness, and uncertainty and let go. In other words, don’t be afraid to surrender. You must let go of the things that you cannot control externally if you are to find yourself again.

Letting go of the things you cannot control is one of the most difficult things a person can do. Each lived experience is not only a memory but is also an archived recollection of your individual perception of an event.

In those moments of awareness that no one has control over external forces, everyone reacts differently. Some internalize it feeling as though they must protect themselves from external forces by trying to control as much as they can. Others detach from it, adopting the mentality that they can only control themselves and their behavior. They may be able to influence external forces, but they accept that they can not control them. The second group has adopted more of a surrender approach.

There can be no freedom without surrender. Regardless of what you believe—whether there’s really something wrong with you or not—we can agree that when you permit yourself to surrender to the “greater plan” or “go with the flow,” it makes your load a little lighter.[3] You worry a little less, you breathe a little deeper, your patience grows a pinch, and you feel more grounded in the knowledge that you have stopped clinging to the hope of an outcome that is out of your control.

Advertising

Surrendering can be the most powerful tool you have to find yourself because it will free you from the shackles of other people’s opinions. You will no longer be restrained by the external influences that once forced you to fight against yourself, constantly exhausting yourself energetically. You can embrace the process of learning the truth of who you are right now with compassion and unconditional self-love.

3. Rest Is Essential

The hard work of getting found is exhausting. Rest is essential to your ability to think clearly, face the hard truths you discover, and take really good care of yourself along the way. Whenever you feel like there is something wrong with you, rest is the important medicine you take daily to help you operate at the highest level.

When we think of rest, most of us think of sleep. Whether you nap during the day, occasionally rest your eyes or are very disciplined about getting your 6-8 hours nightly, there is no denying that sleep is one the most effective forms of rest. However, it’s not the only form.

Rest can take many other forms. Rest can be meditation, relaxation, going to nature, laying down without sleeping, turning off all TV/radios for a few hours, listening to non-verbal music, taking a day of silence, or going to be in a secluded environment.

It can also be a massage, pedicure, time coloring, or watching your favorite show. Rest allows you to turn your brain off and come back to the center while reconnecting with yourself. Intentionally resting will give you time to reflect on the new information you are learning about yourself as you find yourself.

Advertising

If you have some resistance to the idea of rest, that’s understandable. Depending on where in the world you live, rest can either be seen as an essential part of every day like it is in many European countries or as a luxury for the lazy. Regardless of what society tells you, rest is essential to your personal revolution.

Final Thoughts

Feeling lost is par for the course, especially in this ever-changing post-pandemic world we are living in where each day feels more and more like a lost episode of the twilight zone just released from the archives. The quicker you realize that there is nothing wrong with you feeling lost, the quicker you can start to do the work of learning about yourself in the “right now.”

Surrendering to a “higher power” or “the flow” can be really helpful as you move through this challenging work. Clinging to past ideas of who you thought you were or what you thought you had to do will only make the process of learning yourself now—today—more difficult. Letting go will give you the freedom to worry less and be present more for journey of finding yourself.

Finally, rest, rest, rest! Don’t take the intellectual knowing of what this experience should look like for granted. Taking the time to intentionally find yourself is exhausting. Sleep, eat well, be kind and patient with yourself, and protect your energy.

When you are connected with yourself, you are proactively finding yourself daily. Each time you allow yourself to intentionally reflect, you are detached from what you cant control while prioritizing connection with yourself and rest—you win. Its hard to get lost when you are taking the time to really know yourself.

Advertising

Remember that there would be no “Amazing Grace” if the composer was not first lost and went on the journey to become found.

More Tips on How To Figure Out Your Life

Featured photo credit: Ben White via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Awilda Rivera

Success Coach - Author - Speaker - Yogi - Advisor

6 Challenges in Life You Must Overcome to Become a Better Person How To Take Action Towards Your Goals Right Now 4 Types of Negative Self-Talk to Stop Right Now How to Gain Self-Knowledge and Live up to Your Potential What Is Wrong With Me? 3 Ways to Figure Out Life Again

Trending in Meaning of Life

1 20 Invaluable Things Money Can’t Buy 2 Understanding Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: 5 Levels Explained 3 How to Find Purpose in Life and Make Yourself a Better Person 4 The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want 5 How to Effectively Find Your Life’s Purpose

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 21, 2021

20 Invaluable Things Money Can’t Buy

20 Invaluable Things Money Can’t Buy
Advertising

George Lorimer contends,

“It’s good to have money and all the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things money can’t buy.”

In reality, everyone likes money. It has enough power to determine happy or sad moments for some people. This happens partially because money can trigger your emotions. However, there are many invaluable things money can’t buy.

Money will allow you to experience the luxury of things like a Tesla, an estate, or first-class tickets to anywhere in the world. But, money cannot buy you everything. There are aspects of your life, yourself, relationships, and encounters that forever will be priceless.

So, what are 20 invaluable things money can’t buy?

1. Love

You must have seen this one coming because of how much it is preached throughout life.

Love is a genuine action with beautiful emotions that develops between people who know each other to an extent.

People fall in “love” for different reasons. Love is unconditional and keeps people in connection with each other.

Money may earn you attraction and attention, but love? Not at all.

2. True Friends

Everyone likes to have money because there’s almost no way to survive if we didn’t have a cent or two. And it’s only normal for people to associate themselves with people who are making efforts to make the money.

But sometimes, people are only attracted to what you have and what you can give; not who you are.

Advertising

It works just like love. When your money runs low, true friends should remain.

3. Family

We all know that family consists of a father, mother, and children, so let’s consider the individual elements.

A father is only a father as a result of the relationship between him and his child. Can money buy a relationship?

The same concept applies to the mother and child and if a relationship with a father cannot be bought, then neither can one with a mother nor child be bought.

Even if it’s an extended family, you still have to have a relationship with someone who connects you to the other person. It’s not rocket science.

4. Wisdom

Someone defined wisdom as “the mother of knowledge,” and how does one acquire knowledge? He or she receives it from experience.

So, if you cannot buy experience, then you cannot buy knowledge. And if you cannot buy both, then wisdom is definitely out of your league. You have to study, meet people and just experience life to earn it.

5. Happiness

In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt,

“Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”

    Mrs. Roosevelt even acknowledges things money can’t buy. She emphasizes that money can’t buy happiness.

    Advertising

    Despite all the money a person may have in the bank, he or she still may not have the happiness that we all crave and deserve. Money cannot afford happiness.

    6. Health

    Money can help us afford the best health care services, but health itself? Not exactly.

    We’ve seen millionaires and billionaires lose their lives to a range of diseases that all their money put together could not cure.

    The Dalai Lama said,

    “What surprises me most is ‘man’ because he sacrifices his health to make money then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health.”

      So, besides the fact that it doesn’t buy us health, sometimes the pursuit of it takes good health away from us.

      7. Long life

      During birthdays, we wish people a long, prosperous and healthy life. Money would be the best gift to send to loved ones to buy these things.

      But since you can’t, you wish these individuals the best life has to offer. You may also give them fun and loving experiences without money.

      8. Time

      The universe has been impartial enough to give us all 24 hours to do whatever we want to. But nobody, with all his or her wealth, has been able to purchase an extra hour, not even a second.

      9. Respect

      They say it is reciprocal. In other words, you can only get respect when you give respect and the last time we checked, there was no money for respect.

      Advertising

      So if you can’t give something in any currency, then you can’t receive it in any currency either.

      10. Character

      Character is the sum of a person’s attitude. Attitude has to do with the way you behave and although money can influence a person’s character, it cannot buy a good one.

      11. Confidence

      Any “confidence” built on money really isn’t confidence. It’s a shade of pride and usually ends in sheer show-off. That, dear friend, is not confidence. Confidence is a quality you build with time.

      12. Beauty

      There are countless beauty products in the market and all of them cost money. These beauty products can only enhance beauty by covering up blemishes and some go as far as altering some features of the body.

      But none has been able to change the natural beauty of anybody. If you consider surgery, then you are still altering the natural features, not changing it. You can’t buy good looks from your mother’s womb. It’s just not possible.

      13. Sense of Humor

      Some individuals are born with the gift to make others laugh. Most of the comedians around became wealthy as a result of their sense of humor.

      The humor did not come after the money. Nobody became funny overnight because of a swell in their bank account.

      14. Trust

      Why do you trust people? Because they’ve proved themselves to be trustworthy by character. Their character earned them that trust.

      15. Talent

      Talent is a natural skill that has to be discovered and honed. Just like beauty and every other thing that comes naturally, talent cannot be purchased.

      16. Purpose

      People attend conferences and seminars to help them discover their purpose in life. These conferences may be free or paid but the money did not buy them the purpose.

      They already had the purpose way before realizing that they needed to find it. Lots of poor people discovered their purpose and leveraged it to become rich. This goes on to illustrate that money can come as a result of finding purpose but it cannot get you the purpose.

      Advertising

      17. Satisfaction

      If there’s one thing that money can never buy, it is satisfaction. Even if money finds a way to get any of the other items on this list, it can never afford satisfaction. Money increases our desire for more money. The more the money, the more the hunger.

      18. Empathy

      Never have we ever heard of a man who bought the ability to empathize and never would we ever because empathy is a feeling. Feelings cannot be bought.

      19. Peace

      Why do people employ sophisticated security systems? Because they want to have peace when they go to bed but even with all of that, peace has never been received in exchange for money. It comes as a result of a clear conscience and a good heart.

      Ironically, money may bring enemies which would end up disrupting your peace.

      20. A Good Name

      A proverb says “a good name is better than silver.” This is like comparing two different things: a name and silver (which could be referred to as money).

      What is a “name?” It is a form of identity and how is it received? Your way of life and character helps people to receive you.

      Conclusion

        Overall, these things are invaluable and confidently show that money can’t buy everything.

        While this is the case, money is necessary, so don’t quit your job just because it can’t buy you happiness. And do spend your money and time wisely.

        Also, go out of your way to make people happy. Their money can’t provide this needed emotion. Do not lose or mismanage your health trying to get money.

        More About Happiness

        Featured photo credit: Yingchou Han via unsplash.com

        Advertising

        Read Next