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Published on December 18, 2020

What Is Wrong With Me? 3 Ways to Figure Out Life Again

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What Is Wrong With Me? 3 Ways to Figure Out Life Again

If you have felt that the last 8 months felt like living inside an episode of Black Mirror, you are not alone. The year 2020 has felt like getting punched in the face, over and over again. The amount of pressure that each human is under had been magnified in unimaginable ways. Most people might ask, “What is wrong with me?”

While the ongoing pandemic ravages the globe and political turmoil are felt across nations, it’s not hard to see why you may be feeling lost, confused, or out of place in life. The extent to which the Covid-19 Global Pandemic has affected your mental health, emotional stability, and overall confidence cannot be underscored enough. The United States is an excellent case study of the deleterious effects this pandemic has had on the mental health of most people.

From January to September 2020, the United States experienced a consistent uptick in adults reporting feelings of depression and/or anxiety. As a result, the US saw a 62% increase in depression screenings and a 92% increase in anxiety screenings.[1] Unless you have been hiding in a cave without tv or internet and have everyone you love with you, COVID-19 has impacted your daily life in some negative way.

Life has completely changed forever. But that doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. It makes sense that you are trying to figure out a new way to navigate through this uncertain landscape.

Here are the 3 things you need to remember that will help you start figuring out life in this new post-corona reality.

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1. Feeling Lost Is Normal

You’ve lost your way. While it may feel completely overwhelming, it isn’t novel. Millions, perhaps each of the billions of people on the planet, have lost their way at some point during their lifetime. Feeling lost doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you.

Admitting that you do not feel right will help you realize that you are unclear about:

  • what you should do next,
  • if you are on the right track,
  • f you should stay the course,
  • if you made the choices that led you to this moment,
  • and why you want to continue or discontinue this course of action.

When you find that you are questioning yourself about fundamental things in your life, then that is a good indication that something is up, and you should inquire further.

Once you have made this critical admission with yourself, don’t rush to generate answers. Give yourself some time to sit with the question. It’s easier said than done. However, the data that comes from intentional reflection on these important questions is more valuable than gold.

Understand that this process of intentional reflection may take some time. You will have to be very gentle with yourself. Know that there will be times when the process may feel uncomfortable ad hard. Remember to give yourself a lot of grace throughout the process, especially when you feel like giving up.

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The fact that you have lost your way is an indication that you have arrived at an important moment in your life. You are aware that things feel out of alignment, and you want to do something about it. Ultimately, taking the steps to find yourself offers you an opportunity to learn more about yourself.[2]

2. Stop Clinging and Let Go

The chaos of feeling lost can be intoxicating. Escaping its grip is not easy, but the process is simple. Stop clinging to the discomfort, sadness, and uncertainty and let go. In other words, don’t be afraid to surrender. You must let go of the things that you cannot control externally if you are to find yourself again.

Letting go of the things you cannot control is one of the most difficult things a person can do. Each lived experience is not only a memory but is also an archived recollection of your individual perception of an event.

In those moments of awareness that no one has control over external forces, everyone reacts differently. Some internalize it feeling as though they must protect themselves from external forces by trying to control as much as they can. Others detach from it, adopting the mentality that they can only control themselves and their behavior. They may be able to influence external forces, but they accept that they can not control them. The second group has adopted more of a surrender approach.

There can be no freedom without surrender. Regardless of what you believe—whether there’s really something wrong with you or not—we can agree that when you permit yourself to surrender to the “greater plan” or “go with the flow,” it makes your load a little lighter.[3] You worry a little less, you breathe a little deeper, your patience grows a pinch, and you feel more grounded in the knowledge that you have stopped clinging to the hope of an outcome that is out of your control.

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Surrendering can be the most powerful tool you have to find yourself because it will free you from the shackles of other people’s opinions. You will no longer be restrained by the external influences that once forced you to fight against yourself, constantly exhausting yourself energetically. You can embrace the process of learning the truth of who you are right now with compassion and unconditional self-love.

3. Rest Is Essential

The hard work of getting found is exhausting. Rest is essential to your ability to think clearly, face the hard truths you discover, and take really good care of yourself along the way. Whenever you feel like there is something wrong with you, rest is the important medicine you take daily to help you operate at the highest level.

When we think of rest, most of us think of sleep. Whether you nap during the day, occasionally rest your eyes or are very disciplined about getting your 6-8 hours nightly, there is no denying that sleep is one the most effective forms of rest. However, it’s not the only form.

Rest can take many other forms. Rest can be meditation, relaxation, going to nature, laying down without sleeping, turning off all TV/radios for a few hours, listening to non-verbal music, taking a day of silence, or going to be in a secluded environment.

It can also be a massage, pedicure, time coloring, or watching your favorite show. Rest allows you to turn your brain off and come back to the center while reconnecting with yourself. Intentionally resting will give you time to reflect on the new information you are learning about yourself as you find yourself.

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If you have some resistance to the idea of rest, that’s understandable. Depending on where in the world you live, rest can either be seen as an essential part of every day like it is in many European countries or as a luxury for the lazy. Regardless of what society tells you, rest is essential to your personal revolution.

Final Thoughts

Feeling lost is par for the course, especially in this ever-changing post-pandemic world we are living in where each day feels more and more like a lost episode of the twilight zone just released from the archives. The quicker you realize that there is nothing wrong with you feeling lost, the quicker you can start to do the work of learning about yourself in the “right now.”

Surrendering to a “higher power” or “the flow” can be really helpful as you move through this challenging work. Clinging to past ideas of who you thought you were or what you thought you had to do will only make the process of learning yourself now—today—more difficult. Letting go will give you the freedom to worry less and be present more for journey of finding yourself.

Finally, rest, rest, rest! Don’t take the intellectual knowing of what this experience should look like for granted. Taking the time to intentionally find yourself is exhausting. Sleep, eat well, be kind and patient with yourself, and protect your energy.

When you are connected with yourself, you are proactively finding yourself daily. Each time you allow yourself to intentionally reflect, you are detached from what you cant control while prioritizing connection with yourself and rest—you win. Its hard to get lost when you are taking the time to really know yourself.

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Remember that there would be no “Amazing Grace” if the composer was not first lost and went on the journey to become found.

More Tips on How To Figure Out Your Life

Featured photo credit: Ben White via unsplash.com

Reference

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Awilda Rivera

Success Coach - Author - Speaker - Yogi - Advisor

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Last Updated on September 16, 2021

Feel That Life Is Meaningless? Here’s How to Find Meaning

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Feel That Life Is Meaningless? Here’s How to Find Meaning

Have you ever felt like you’re unable to feel anything? You know exactly what this feeling is if you’ve been through it. The feeling of a meaningless life is unexplainable.

A meaningless life may not look bad. In fact, there’s likely nothing obviously wrong. You may be living in your dream house with the love of your life. Your well-paid job in the company that you dreamt of is doing great, too. However, you feel like a part of your heart and soul are missing.

If you feel like nothing is right, you may be living a meaningless life. But don’t you worry, because you’re in the right place to find the perfect solution for you and your unique life.

What Is a Meaningless Life?

Let’s start by helping you put a finger on your issue. Is it actually a meaningless life or just a rough slump?

Be clear on one thing: no human’s life is ever truly meaningless. Basically, your life can never lose its meaning and purpose. If you’re living in this world, there is some reason deep down. The only issue is that you have lost the vision to identify it. Your perspective is too blurred to figure out what you are in this world for.

A meaningless life may mean you’re going through an existential crisis. You could be borderline depressed. The feeling of emptiness may prevail all other emotions. However, you can be sure that, despite all of this, there’s still meaning to your existence.

All you have to do is push through to find it.

If you feel that you’re living a meaningless life, negativity will surround you like wildfire. However, you’ve got to keep your head high so that you can look ahead and find an answer. You have to strive to find your life’s meaning to continue to live a life of high motivation.

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Before you move on with the rest of the process, make sure to first imprint this in your mind. Only then will you be able to guide your thought process in the right direction.

Is There Any Meaning to Life?

Life, in its literal term, means to exist and reproduce. The reproduction not only includes the creation of humans like yourself, but also of thoughts, ideologies, and philosophies.

A person who is living a meaningless life has a very different view of what life is supposed to be. That is where the issue arises. To understand the meaning of life without any misconceptions, one should look at the philosophy behind this concept.

Like most branches of research, philosophy has numerous diverging answers to answer what the meaning of life is[1]. Here’s a quick summary of what I consider the most suitable understanding.

It all starts from a human’s expectations and, ultimately, reactions. Every individual expects something from the world and, in return, has to react to the expectations of others. Generally, this idea is surrounded by wanting goodness. To achieve that, a person has to do good deeds as well.

This cycle continues. But, of course, it is very complex. A lot of factors contribute to this cycle, such as selfishness, a different point of view of what’s good, emotions, likes and dislikes, etc.

The point of this entire concept in philosophy is that, ultimately, the process of growth and reproduction comes to an end for every human. There’s no escaping that. Therefore, the goal is to live life in a way that, when the individual’s growth comes to an end, something good is still left behind for the cycle to continue.

Where Does the Good Come From?

This is the point where the differences come in. People with different beliefs opt for varying methods to reach the same goal.

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There are four main schools of thought in philosophy in this regard, and they all offer different advice on how to move past living a meaningless life[2].

1. God

One school believes that God is the center of everything we do. Hence, goodness is anything that goes in line with the religion that you believe in.

2. The Soul

The other school of thought centers their actions on the soul. For them, anything that satisfies and calms your inner self is the path you should follow, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks.

3. Objectivists

The objectivists say that everything in the world is defined; the good and bad are certain, so no one should go beyond the set boundaries.

4. Subjectivists

The subjectivists, on the other hand, believe that since every individual’s cognition varies, the meaning of every single thing in the world is different. No two individuals can have a similar thought process.

All in all, life comes down to one thing only: goodness. That is what life should be, and that is what you should leave behind. How you achieve it depends on which school of thought you agree with. Whatever you believe in is ultimately what the meaning of your life is.

How to Stop Living a Meaningless Life

Now you know that there is a meaning to your life, without question. You also have an idea of what this meaning is. You’ve got to figure out what you consider “good” and build your life around it.

Regardless of which school of thought you agree with or what you have decided your life’s meaning to be, the process to implement will be a bit hard. To make it easier, here are some universal tips.

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1. Unlearn What You’ve Been Told All Your Life

Do not be distracted by what you’ve learned in your life until now. The truth is, you could have been told something for 30 years of your life only to find out that it was all baseless.

The only thing in life that is definite is that there are no rules. We didn’t come into this world with a rule book or defined meaning. Every individual was given the ability to make choices in their life. So, take hold of yours, learn your right and wrong from scratch, and make sure nothing is detracting you from the real meaning of your life. Don’t be afraid if you learn something that goes against your lifelong motto if it gets you away from living a meaningless life.

2. Know That You Matter

This has been said a couple of times by now but, honestly, the more you emphasize this fact, the easier it will be for you.

The fact that you’re alive, living in this world, and taking another breath to take means that you matter. Your life purpose is yet to be fulfilled, so you’ve still got to make some impact in this world.

You are the one person that has to change the world, even if it is something as small as changing the life of one tiny creature. Keep this in mind at all times.

3. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

If your life’s meaning was somewhere inside the circle that you stay in, you would’ve found it by now. Isn’t it obvious that what you’re looking for is out of your comfort zone? Then, what’s keeping you from stepping out?

Don’t hesitate to step out. The short-term discomfort will help you find the long-term purpose of life, which will give you a lifetime of relaxation and a constant way out of a meaningless life.

4. Follow Your Heart

Whether you’re choosing which school of thought to follow or opting between what good to go after, never ignore your heart. Your intuition is your heart’s way of guiding you. Don’t let it take over, but also don’t forget to take it into consideration.

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5. Do Not Let Go of Your Passion

You know that one thing in life that you just cannot give up no matter hard you try? Stop trying to get rid of it. You’re passionate about something for a reason. It is a step for you to reach your life’s meaning.

6. Be More Mindful

The big things in life tend to take over the tiny details. These little things are signs to help you decode and find answers. Meditate if you have a hard time focusing, but always try your best to pay attention to the little experiences that you usually don’t notice.

Conclusion

If you’re a person who is going through the dilemma of living a meaningless life, try to use these tips to help you seek out your unique meaning. Although your life seems meaningless, rest assured that it’s not.

The ball is now in your court. You’re the one who has to do the rest of the work. Use the tips to help you find the true meaning of your life, and then stick to it. Get on with step 1 from today without losing any motivation at all.

All the work that you’ll put in the process now will help you achieve a life of happiness and peace worth living.

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Featured photo credit: Frida Aguilar Estrada via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Philosophy Now: What is Life?
[2] Philosophy Now: What is The Meaning Of Life?

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