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Last Updated on December 14, 2020

How to Attract Like-Minded People to Inspire You

How to Attract Like-Minded People to Inspire You

Do you have key people in your life that influence your success? You know, those like-minded people who inspire you to be, do, or have more in your life and career – do you have those?

If you answered no, why is that?

Because the reality is, if you go and talk to any highly successful person, you’ll likely find that they’ve got several people like that in their lives. So, it’s clearly important.

However, although we know it’s important to connect with like-minded people, doing it is a separate issue.

Perhaps you’re not sure where to start or exactly how to do it. I’m going to share with you why connecting with like-minded people is so important, as well as 3 tips on how to do it in fun and effective ways.

Why Is Connecting With Like-Minded People Important?

Tony Robbins frequently talks about how “success leaves clues.”

What he’s referencing in that statement is the fact that if you want to be successful, you should model those who are already where you want to be. And you know what? He’s right.

Success is not an independent journey. We’ve all had to rely on others to get us to where we are, and we will continue to have to lean on others, in some way, shape, or form, to get to where we want to go.

Now, if having role models in life can impact your success, imagine actually having a relationship with them.

As the old African Proverb says,

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“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Connection breeds confidence, and confidence breeds results. Therefore, your ability to surround yourself with people who motivate, inspire, and hold you accountable is important to your success.

We can see this by the growth of the mastermind group concept and people collaborating together. There’s no disputing the importance of connecting with like-minded people.

So, if you’re on the bandwagon and are ready to connect with others who will inspire you, hold you accountable, and push you to higher levels of success, then keep reading.

1. Define Your Values

Think of connecting with others like going to the grocery store. When you go to the store with a list, it’s quick and easy. But, if you don’t have a list, it can be frustrating, time-consuming, and you may walk out feeling like you never want to do it again.

What this example points out is that clarity is key.

One of the reasons so many people get frustrated with traditional networking or connecting, in general, is because they feel like it’s not bearing fruit. They spend all this time meeting people but don’t really connect with them.

Well, part of the reason they run into this issue is that it’s not yet exactly clear for them who they’d like to connect with. And more importantly, they haven’t done so from a value perspective.

There’s nothing worse than getting into a friendship or relationship with someone, only to find out later that the two of you don’t value the same things. That can often signal trouble for the relationship because we often avoid being around people who have different values than us. That’s why Jim Rohn famously said, “you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

It’s critical to define your core values because they are the things that are most important to you. If you want to connect with like-minded people, you have to know what would make them like-minded or not. But to do that, you must define your values first.

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2. Create a Plan

Call me crazy, but I’m a sucker for a good plan. The assurance that comes with knowing that you’ve got a process or map in place helps to alleviate the stress that can come with not knowing what to do. Because, for many, not knowing what to do, or where to start, is a big hurdle to overcome when it comes to connection.

Once you’ve gotten clarity on exactly who you want to connect with, based on your core values, the next step is to create a plan. This will be your roadmap of sorts – it’ll ensure that you’re on track and doing the right things according to your goals.

A few things to keep in mind when it comes to creating your connection plan are:

  • Determine where your like-minded people hang out.
  • Decide which means of connection resonate with you.
  • Figure out how much time you want to dedicate to connecting with them.

Where Are They Hanging Out?

An essential component of connecting with people you want is knowing where to find them.

For example, if you’re someone who values being a family person, you’re not likely to find your tribe of people at a bar or club frequented by singles.

Get clear on where the people you want to connect with are hanging out, so you can then determine which places you want to meet them in.

How Are You Going to Connect?

Once you’ve determined where your like-minded people are hanging out, you then have to decide how and where you’re going to engage with them.

Chances are, there are going to be multiple ways you can connect (i.e. in-person networking events, seminars/live events, mastermind groups, other online forums, etc.), so you can determine which one best suits you.

If you’re an introvert by nature and want to ease into connecting with people, then starting online through groups and forums may be right up your alley.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for that in-person connection around a shared passion, live events and seminars are great options.

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And if you’re a total extrovert and want to connect with people in your local area, networking events are a possibility.

The key is to pick the options that you think will allow you to be comfortable so that you can genuinely connect with people.

How Much Time Will You Spend?

The last thing you want to determine when creating your connection plan is how much time you want to dedicate to it.

Are you going to try to attend a live event a month? Perhaps you have to be present and engage for an hour in some online group.

Regardless, connecting with like-minded people is just like anything else you want to be successful at – it requires action.

If you’re serious about really attracting people who inspire you and will allow you to transform your life, then you can’t leave it up to chance. Figure out how much time you want to dedicate to this, and stick to it.

3. Put Yourself Out There

The last step to attracting and connecting with like-minded people is to put yourself out there.

We have this innate fear of judgment, and we hold ourselves back in so many ways from living the life that we desire.

But in the words of Bruce Lee, “courage is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to act in the presence of fear.”

For most people, just the thought of connecting with strangers and potentially being judged is enough to stop them in their tracks. But you have to be willing to push forward despite that fear.

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Having connections is essential to a quality life, and it can be transformative to your success. But you have to be willing to face the fear and do it.

Once you’ve done connection tip two, and have created your plan, stick to it. Treat it like it’s a contract that has a stiff penalty if you break it. In fact, you can even come up with some penalties of your own to ensure that you stick to it.

For example, a friend of mine, who is a huge New York Giants football fan, wrote a check for an uncomfortable sum of money to the Dallas Cowboys – the arch-rivals of his beloved team. He then gave his best friend permission to mail that check if he didn’t follow through on building his business.

Accountability works wonders when it comes to creating a result. So, if you’re serious about wanting to attract and connect with like-minded people who inspire you, consider creating an accountability system of your own.

Either way, you have to be willing to get out there and actually connect in order to attract the right people.

You Can Attract Like-Minded People

Making connections can be intimidating if you allow it to be. But, if you do the things I’ve outlined above, it will be a lot easier to do without all of the potential fear and overwhelm.

Remember, start by getting clear on who you want to connect with and attract based on your core values. You have to know what you value to know whether someone actually is “like-minded.”

Secondly, create a plan for connecting. So much of the overwhelming feeling when attracting the right people into our lives is from not knowing where to start or what to do. But like every other thing you want to be successful at, if you create a connection plan, things will be so much clearer for you.

Lastly, you have to take action and put yourself out there. Don’t let the fears of potential judgment or rejection hold you back.

If you do those three things, you’ll have no problem attracting and connecting with like-minded people who inspire you.

More Tips to Help You Connect with Others

Featured photo credit: Alexis Brown via unsplash.com

More by this author

Justin Aldridge

Success Coach, Author, and Speaker helping people wake up to their potential to create lives better than their wildest dreams.

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

4 Signs You Have a Victim Mentality (And How to Break out of It)

4 Signs You Have a Victim Mentality (And How to Break out of It)

Are you someone who has succumbed to the victim mentality trap? Ask yourself, when bad things happen, do you take responsibility for them, or do you blame other people or the world?

If it’s the latter, you likely have a problem with the victim complex. When challenges occur in life, it’s easy to let your emotions get the best of you and assume that the world is out to get you.

It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself occasionally when life gets tough. However, if it gets out of hand, it’s easy to start floundering in victimhood.

It is impossible to be the driver of your life if all you do is play the victim card. In the end, this is the fastest way to lose your power. You have two choices: believe that life is happening for you or to you.

What Is a Victim Mentality?

People who have a victim mentality believe that life happens to them rather than for them. As a result, they are quick to feel victimized when something doesn’t go as planned.

Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others.

At its core, a victim mentality is a form of avoidance. It’s a way of saying, “I refuse to take any responsibility for myself or my life.”

As a result, you may avoid stepping outside of your comfort zone, making difficult decisions, or doing anything to improve the state of your life. In short, you remain stuck and paralyzed by fear. I think we can all agree that this sounds like a bad place to be.

Steve Maraboli said it best:

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“The victim mentality will have you dancing with the devil, then complaining that you’re in hell.”

Unfortunately, there is a huge payoff to adopting this mindset. You are given the space to have a pity party, to ignore messy emotions, and to get sympathy from others. The fact that there are benefits of being a victim makes it difficult to move away from this habit.

It’s only when you are ready to shift your perspective and see the events of your life as fully in your control that you can step into your power.

How Do I Know If I Have a Victim Mentality?

Let’s look at four signs that you have a victim mentality and find ways how to break free from it.

You Catastrophize All Your Problems

Individuals who catastrophize problems are always thinking the worst. Catastrophizing your problems is when you allow yourself to believe that even the smallest inconveniences are the end of the world and can be a sign of victim syndrome.[1]

If you always assume that the worst will happen, the Universe will listen to you and give you precisely what you’re asking for. The next time you catch yourself thinking about how awful something is, work to put your experience into perspective.

Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” This will help remind you that the outcome may not be as bad as you expect it to be.

You Feel Powerless

One of the hardest things to deal with when you live with a victim mentality is feeling helpless. When bad things happen, it’s easy to feel like you have no control over the situation.

When you find yourself in one of these situations, focus on the things that you can change. Finding something that you can control can help you feel like you have some of your power back, and that’s a big step.

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Another way to break free from feeling powerless is to practice saying no. You don’t have to do everything that is expected of you. It is okay to put your own needs first.

You Engage in Negative Self-Talk

Self-doubt is intimately connected to a victim complex. Once someone falls for the victim mentality, they will subconsciously self-sabotage their best efforts so that they are congruent with their conscious mind.[2]

If you believe that you aren’t worthy, you will always feel as if the world is out to get you. Destructive beliefs will nourish victim behavior to the point where putting yourself down becomes the norm.

You Think That the World Is out to Get You

If you feel like the world is constantly trying to hurt you or make you miserable, you know that you have spiraled into victimhood. Life isn’t out to get you. In fact, it’s always trying to work in your favor if you choose to adopt a growth mindset.

Sometimes things will happen in life that are out of your control. It’s your job to decide how you are going to respond to those events. When you start seeing challenges as opportunities for growth, you start noticing that life is forcing you to level up, which is a blessing in disguise.

How to Stop a Victim Mentality

The first step to breaking out of a victim mentality is understanding and accepting that you have one.

The next step is to shift your thoughts from feeling like a victim to realizing that you are a survivor. It’s incredibly freeing when you realize you are no longer a victim of your life circumstances.

If you want to be a true survivor, you’ve got to focus your attention less on safety and security, and more on developing positive self-beliefs.[3]

Survivors know that they are the CEOs of their lives, meaning that they take full responsibility for everything that happens, both good and bad. Also, instead of seeing the world through a black and white lens, survivors are open to new ways of thinking and behaving if it will support their growth and evolution.

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1. Identify and Challenge Limiting Beliefs

Beliefs are conditioned perceptions that are built upon old memories of pain and pleasure. These memories are based on how we have interpreted and emotionalized our experiences over time.[4]

If these beliefs are disempowering in their nature, they lead to self-sabotage and a feeling of helplessness. If you want to stop being a victim, you first have to identify the critical inner voice that created feelings of victimhood and injustice.

When did feelings of self-pity, low self-efficacy, and false blame first take shape in your life?

A victim mentality can usually be traced back to one’s childhood, as a survival mechanism or as a learned behavior that we observed from our parents.

When you start to understand why you feel the way you do, you take responsibility for thoughts and realize that you have the power to change and shift the narrative from one of a victim to a victor.

For this to really work, you’re going to have to build up the courage to take action. For help with this, check out Lifehack’s Free Guide: The Dreamers’ Guide for Taking Action and Making Goals Happen.

2. Take Responsibility for Your Life

When you take responsibility for your life, you take ownership of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You design life on your terms because you know that you have the power to create your reality.

The moment that you stop blaming the world is the moment that you shift from victim to victor. All of a sudden, life starts working in your favor because you chose to show up for yourself.

3. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

A victim mentality is grounded in a feeling of lack, as if there is never enough of something. The opposite of lack is abundance, which is where gratitude comes into play.

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The quickest way to stop being a victim is to adopt an attitude of gratitude. Make a habit of asking yourself, “What am I grateful for today?”

Gratitude is simply the conscious acknowledgment of what brings you joy in the present moment. When you stop obsessing about your own stuff and look at the bigger picture, you start to realize how lucky you really are.

Take a look at these 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

4. Think Positive

A victim complex thrives on negative thoughts. The best way to shift from victim to victor is to change your thinking and take care of your mental health. Instead of looking for the bad in something, find the silver lining amidst every challenge.

Your thoughts create your reality. When you start focusing on the good, you attract more positive things into your life.

That is the moment at which you will open yourself up to live an abundant life of positive growth and change that has the potential to transform your life.[5]

In the words of Martin Seligman,

“Optimism is very valuable for a meaningful life. With a firm belief in a positive future, you can redirect your life towards what’s most important.”

Final Thoughts

If you’re tired of playing the victim, decide that you are ready to become the master of your life and then act on it. You are capable of great things if you believe in yourself and act on your beliefs. Now is the time to take back control of your life and move away from the destructive victim mentality that has been holding you back.

More on Thinking Positive

Featured photo credit: Remy_Loz via unsplash.com

Reference

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