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Published on April 28, 2020

How to Attract Like-Minded People to Inspire You

How to Attract Like-Minded People to Inspire You

Do you have key people in your life that influence your success? You know, those like-minded people who inspire you to be, do, or have more in your life and career – do you have those?

If you answered no, why is that?

Because the reality is, if you go and talk to any highly successful person, you’ll likely find that they’ve got several people like that in their lives. So, it’s clearly important.

However, although we know it’s important to connect with like-minded people, doing it is a separate issue.

Perhaps you’re not sure where to start or exactly how to do it. I’m going to share with you why connecting with like-minded people is so important, as well as 3 tips on how to do it in fun and effective ways.

Why Is Connecting With Like-Minded People Important?

Tony Robbins frequently talks about how “success leaves clues.”

What he’s referencing in that statement is the fact that if you want to be successful, you should model those who are already where you want to be. And you know what? He’s right.

Success is not an independent journey. We’ve all had to rely on others to get us to where we are, and we will continue to have to lean on others, in some way, shape, or form, to get to where we want to go.

Now, if having role models in life can impact your success, imagine actually having a relationship with them.

As the old African Proverb says,

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“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Connection breeds confidence, and confidence breeds results. Therefore, your ability to surround yourself with people who motivate, inspire, and hold you accountable is important to your success.

We can see this by the growth of the mastermind group concept and people collaborating together. There’s no disputing the importance of connecting with like-minded people.

So, if you’re on the bandwagon and are ready to connect with others who will inspire you, hold you accountable, and push you to higher levels of success, then keep reading.

1. Define Your Values

Think of connecting with others like going to the grocery store. When you go to the store with a list, it’s quick and easy. But, if you don’t have a list, it can be frustrating, time-consuming, and you may walk out feeling like you never want to do it again.

What this example points out is that clarity is key.

One of the reasons so many people get frustrated with traditional networking or connecting, in general, is because they feel like it’s not bearing fruit. They spend all this time meeting people but don’t really connect with them.

Well, part of the reason they run into this issue is that it’s not yet exactly clear for them who they’d like to connect with. And more importantly, they haven’t done so from a value perspective.

There’s nothing worse than getting into a friendship or relationship with someone, only to find out later that the two of you don’t value the same things. That can often signal trouble for the relationship because we often avoid being around people who have different values than us. That’s why Jim Rohn famously said, “you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

It’s critical to define your core values because they are the things that are most important to you. If you want to connect with like-minded people, you have to know what would make them like-minded or not. But to do that, you must define your values first.

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2. Create a Plan

Call me crazy, but I’m a sucker for a good plan. The assurance that comes with knowing that you’ve got a process or map in place helps to alleviate the stress that can come with not knowing what to do. Because, for many, not knowing what to do, or where to start, is a big hurdle to overcome when it comes to connection.

Once you’ve gotten clarity on exactly who you want to connect with, based on your core values, the next step is to create a plan. This will be your roadmap of sorts – it’ll ensure that you’re on track and doing the right things according to your goals.

A few things to keep in mind when it comes to creating your connection plan are:

  • Determine where your like-minded people hang out.
  • Decide which means of connection resonate with you.
  • Figure out how much time you want to dedicate to connecting with them.

Where Are They Hanging Out?

An essential component of connecting with people you want is knowing where to find them.

For example, if you’re someone who values being a family person, you’re not likely to find your tribe of people at a bar or club frequented by singles.

Get clear on where the people you want to connect with are hanging out, so you can then determine which places you want to meet them in.

How Are You Going to Connect?

Once you’ve determined where your like-minded people are hanging out, you then have to decide how and where you’re going to engage with them.

Chances are, there are going to be multiple ways you can connect (i.e. in-person networking events, seminars/live events, mastermind groups, other online forums, etc.), so you can determine which one best suits you.

If you’re an introvert by nature and want to ease into connecting with people, then starting online through groups and forums may be right up your alley.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for that in-person connection around a shared passion, live events and seminars are great options.

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And if you’re a total extrovert and want to connect with people in your local area, networking events are a possibility.

The key is to pick the options that you think will allow you to be comfortable so that you can genuinely connect with people.

How Much Time Will You Spend?

The last thing you want to determine when creating your connection plan is how much time you want to dedicate to it.

Are you going to try to attend a live event a month? Perhaps you have to be present and engage for an hour in some online group.

Regardless, connecting with like-minded people is just like anything else you want to be successful at – it requires action.

If you’re serious about really attracting people who inspire you and will allow you to transform your life, then you can’t leave it up to chance. Figure out how much time you want to dedicate to this, and stick to it.

3. Put Yourself Out There

The last step to attracting and connecting with like-minded people is to put yourself out there.

We have this innate fear of judgment, and we hold ourselves back in so many ways from living the life that we desire.

But in the words of Bruce Lee, “courage is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to act in the presence of fear.”

For most people, just the thought of connecting with strangers and potentially being judged is enough to stop them in their tracks. But you have to be willing to push forward despite that fear.

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Having connections is essential to a quality life, and it can be transformative to your success. But you have to be willing to face the fear and do it.

Once you’ve done connection tip two, and have created your plan, stick to it. Treat it like it’s a contract that has a stiff penalty if you break it. In fact, you can even come up with some penalties of your own to ensure that you stick to it.

For example, a friend of mine, who is a huge New York Giants football fan, wrote a check for an uncomfortable sum of money to the Dallas Cowboys – the arch-rivals of his beloved team. He then gave his best friend permission to mail that check if he didn’t follow through on building his business.

Accountability works wonders when it comes to creating a result. So, if you’re serious about wanting to attract and connect with like-minded people who inspire you, consider creating an accountability system of your own.

Either way, you have to be willing to get out there and actually connect in order to attract the right people.

You Can Attract Like-Minded People

Making connections can be intimidating if you allow it to be. But, if you do the things I’ve outlined above, it will be a lot easier to do without all of the potential fear and overwhelm.

Remember, start by getting clear on who you want to connect with and attract based on your core values. You have to know what you value to know whether someone actually is “like-minded.”

Secondly, create a plan for connecting. So much of the overwhelming feeling when attracting the right people into our lives is from not knowing where to start or what to do. But like every other thing you want to be successful at, if you create a connection plan, things will be so much clearer for you.

Lastly, you have to take action and put yourself out there. Don’t let the fears of potential judgment or rejection hold you back.

If you do those three things, you’ll have no problem attracting and connecting with like-minded people who inspire you.

More Tips to Help You Connect with Others

Featured photo credit: Alexis Brown via unsplash.com

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Justin Aldridge

Success Coach, Author, and Speaker helping people wake up to their potential to create lives better than their wildest dreams.

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Last Updated on August 12, 2020

When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

Learning how to trust your gut, otherwise known as your intuition, can keep you safe. Your gut can guide you and help you build your confidence and resilience. My own gut instinct has saved me on more than one occasion. It has also guided me into making sound career choices and other exciting, big decisions. I’m also aware of the times when I’ve gone against my instincts and really regretted it later, wondering why I didn’t tune in to that valuable internal voice that we all have within us.

In this article, we’re going to explore why and how you should listen to your gut, as well as some concrete tips on how to make sure you’re making the most out of your gut instincts.

How to Listen to Your Gut

The key when making any big decision is to always take a minute to listen well to yourself and your inner compass. If you hear your actual voice saying yes while inside you’re silently screaming no, my advice is to ask for some time to think, or simply take a breath and pause before the yes or no escapes your mouth.

Use that moment to breathe, check in with yourself, and give the answer that feels congruent with who you are and what you want, not the one that always involves following the herd. Trusting your gut means having the courage to not simply go with the majority. It can be about holding your own. Here’s how to hone that skill for yourself and reap the rewards.

1. Tune Into Your Body

Your body gives you clues when you’re faced with a big decision. There are many visible and obvious symptoms that we feel in uncomfortable situations. Our body’s reaction is often something that we might try to hide, for example, blushing, being lost for words, or shaking. There are things we might do to try and hide that physical reaction, whether it’s wearing makeup, having a glass of wine or coffee to perk us up a bit, or learning to control our nerves.

However, paying attention to your body when you experience these feelings of anxiety can teach you so much and help you to make sound choices. Some people will experience an actual “gut” feeling of stomach ache or indigestion in an uncomfortable situation.

Ask yourself what’s really going on here, and explore what is happening behind your body’s response to the situation. What can your reaction or instinct teach you? Understanding that can be a clue and can help you either learn something about yourself, the situation, or other people. The answers are often within us.

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Sometimes we’ll get this “something’s not right here” feeling and cannot quite put our finger on it or explain it. That can still be incredibly useful and really guide us away from danger, even if we don’t know the reason.

In his book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell also argues this, making the point that sometimes our subconscious is better at processing the answer we need, and that we don’t necessarily need to take time to collect hours and hours of information to come to a reliable conclusion[1].

2. Ensure Your Head Is Clear Before Making a Decision

Energy, sleep, and good nutrition are so vital to nourishing our minds, as well as our bodies. There are times when your instinct could lead you astray, and one of these is when you are hungry, “hangry” (angry because you’re hungry!), tired, or anxious. If this is the case–and it may sound obvious–do consider sleeping or eating on it before making an important choice.

There is, in fact, a connection between our gut and our brain[2], which is where terms like “butterflies in the stomach” and “gut-wrenching” originate from. Stress and emotions can cause physical feelings, and ignoring them might do more harm than good.

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Say What You Think and Feel

Listening to your gut and really paying attention to it might involve standing up and being counted, calling something out, or taking a stand. As someone who works for myself, I’ve become used to following the less-travelled road, and that’s given me the chance to strike out on my own in other ways, too.

As they tell you in the planes, “put your own oxygen mask on first,” and part of that self-reliance is knowing what you really want and like and what is safe and good for you, including what resonates with your personal and business values. Making good decisions with this in mind means making choices that do not go against your own beliefs, even when it may mean taking a stand. This is part of trusting yourself and trusting your instincts.

This does not always mean taking the “safe” option, although keeping ourselves safe is an important part of the process. This is how we learn and grow, by following our own inner compass. When you do take risks, go outside of your comfort zone, or choose the less popular option, spending some time researching the facts can stand us in good stead, too.

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4. Do Your Research If Something Feels Off

As well as listening to our instincts, we can also back up the evidence for our chosen course of action before taking the leap. I had a gut feeling about the need for a learning and development network when I noticed my clients getting stuck with the same problems. I set up and now run such a network, but instead of simply going for it, without evidence, I followed up on my instinct with research.

Having confidence in your gut instinct through these kinds of tests can help to minimize your risks, as well as spur you on. It will encourage you to trust your gut again in the future and trust that you are an expert with foresight and experience. You are!

5. Challenge Your Assumptions

When you look at the assumptions your making, this could be the clue to mistakes you are making.

In order to check that our instincts are wise, we need to ask ourselves what blanks we might be filling in, either consciously or unconsciously. This is true not just when it comes to our own decision-making. It’s also true when we are listening to someone explain a problem or situation, and we’re about to jump in and give some advice. If we can learn to be aware of our own assumptions, we can become better listeners and better decision makers, too.

A useful tool to become more aware of your assumptions before making a final decision is simply to ask yourself, “What assumptions am I making about this situation or person?”

6. Educate Yourself on Unconscious Bias

Unconscious bias is something we all have, and it can trip us up big time!

There is a vital caveat to bear in mind when wondering about whether you can trust your gut and the feelings your body gives you, and that’s having an awareness of your unconscious bias. Understanding your own bias–which is hard to do because it literally does happen in our subconscious–can help you to make stronger, better, decisions instead of re-confirming your view of the world over and over again.

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Bias exists, and it’s part of the human condition. All of us have it, and it colors our decisions and can impact on our performance without us realizing.

Unconscious bias happens at a subconscious level in our brains. Our subconscious brain processes information so much faster than our conscious brain. Quick decisions we make in our subconscious are based on both our societal conditioning and how our families raised us.

Our brains process hundreds of thousands of pieces of information daily. We unconsciously categorize and format that information into patterns that feel familiar to us. Aspects such as gender, disability, class, sexuality, body shape and size, ethnicity, and what someone does for a job can all quickly influence decisions we make about people and the relationships we choose to form. Our unconscious bias can be very subtle and go unnoticed..

We naturally tend to gravitate towards people similar to ourselves, favoring people who we see as belonging to the same “group” as us. Being able to make a quick decision about whether someone is part of your group and distinguish friend from foe was what helped early humans to survive. Conversely, we don’t automatically favor people who we don’t immediately relate to or easily connect with.

The downside of that human instinct to seek out similar people is the potential for prejudice, which seems to be hard-wired into human cognition, no matter how open-minded we believe ourselves to be. And these stereotypes we create can be wrong. If we only spend our time with and employ people similar to ourselves, it can create prejudices, as well as stifle fresh thinking and innovation.

We may feel more natural or comfortable working with other people who share our own background and/or opinions than collaborating with people who don’t look, talk, or think like us. However, diversity is not just morally right; having a mix of different people and perspectives that can be genuinely heard is also a valuable way to counter groupthink. Diversity stretches us to think more critically and creatively.

7. Trust Yourself

It is possible to learn how to truly trust yourself[3]. Like any talent or skill, practicing trusting your gut is the best way to get really good at it. When people talk about having great intuition or being good decision-makers, it’s because they’ve worked at honing those skills, made mistakes, learned from them, and tried again.

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Looking back at decisions you’ve made, what you did, what the outcome was, and what you’ve learned can help you become a stronger decision maker and develop solid self-trust and resilience. Making a mistake does not mean you are not great at decision-making; it’s a chance to grow and learn, and the only mistake is to ignore the lesson in that experience.

If you are in the habit of asking others for their input, then the trick here is to choose your inner circle wisely. Having a sounding board of people who have your best interests at heart is a valuable asset, and, combined with your own excellent instincts, can make you a champion decision maker.

The Bottom Line

The above tips are all actionable and easy to start immediately. It’s simply about switching your thinking around, slowing down, and taking great care of this amazing machine that is your body and mind!

Learning how to trust your gut is one of the most fundamental ways to make decisions that will help you lead the life you want and need. Tune into what your body is telling you and start making good decisions today.

More Tips on How to Trust Your Gut

Featured photo credit: Acy Varlan via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Science of People: Learn to Trust Your Gut Instincts: The Science Behind Thin-slicing
[2] Harvard Health Publishing: The gut-brain connection
[3] Psych Central: 3 Ways to Develop Self-Trust

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