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Published on April 28, 2020

How to Attract Like-Minded People to Inspire You

How to Attract Like-Minded People to Inspire You

Do you have key people in your life that influence your success? You know, those like-minded people who inspire you to be, do, or have more in your life and career – do you have those?

If you answered no, why is that?

Because the reality is, if you go and talk to any highly successful person, you’ll likely find that they’ve got several people like that in their lives. So, it’s clearly important.

However, although we know it’s important to connect with like-minded people, doing it is a separate issue.

Perhaps you’re not sure where to start or exactly how to do it. I’m going to share with you why connecting with like-minded people is so important, as well as 3 tips on how to do it in fun and effective ways.

Why Is Connecting With Like-Minded People Important?

Tony Robbins frequently talks about how “success leaves clues.”

What he’s referencing in that statement is the fact that if you want to be successful, you should model those who are already where you want to be. And you know what? He’s right.

Success is not an independent journey. We’ve all had to rely on others to get us to where we are, and we will continue to have to lean on others, in some way, shape, or form, to get to where we want to go.

Now, if having role models in life can impact your success, imagine actually having a relationship with them.

As the old African Proverb says,

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“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Connection breeds confidence, and confidence breeds results. Therefore, your ability to surround yourself with people who motivate, inspire, and hold you accountable is important to your success.

We can see this by the growth of the mastermind group concept and people collaborating together. There’s no disputing the importance of connecting with like-minded people.

So, if you’re on the bandwagon and are ready to connect with others who will inspire you, hold you accountable, and push you to higher levels of success, then keep reading.

1. Define Your Values

Think of connecting with others like going to the grocery store. When you go to the store with a list, it’s quick and easy. But, if you don’t have a list, it can be frustrating, time-consuming, and you may walk out feeling like you never want to do it again.

What this example points out is that clarity is key.

One of the reasons so many people get frustrated with traditional networking or connecting, in general, is because they feel like it’s not bearing fruit. They spend all this time meeting people but don’t really connect with them.

Well, part of the reason they run into this issue is that it’s not yet exactly clear for them who they’d like to connect with. And more importantly, they haven’t done so from a value perspective.

There’s nothing worse than getting into a friendship or relationship with someone, only to find out later that the two of you don’t value the same things. That can often signal trouble for the relationship because we often avoid being around people who have different values than us. That’s why Jim Rohn famously said, “you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

It’s critical to define your core values because they are the things that are most important to you. If you want to connect with like-minded people, you have to know what would make them like-minded or not. But to do that, you must define your values first.

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2. Create a Plan

Call me crazy, but I’m a sucker for a good plan. The assurance that comes with knowing that you’ve got a process or map in place helps to alleviate the stress that can come with not knowing what to do. Because, for many, not knowing what to do, or where to start, is a big hurdle to overcome when it comes to connection.

Once you’ve gotten clarity on exactly who you want to connect with, based on your core values, the next step is to create a plan. This will be your roadmap of sorts – it’ll ensure that you’re on track and doing the right things according to your goals.

A few things to keep in mind when it comes to creating your connection plan are:

  • Determine where your like-minded people hang out.
  • Decide which means of connection resonate with you.
  • Figure out how much time you want to dedicate to connecting with them.

Where Are They Hanging Out?

An essential component of connecting with people you want is knowing where to find them.

For example, if you’re someone who values being a family person, you’re not likely to find your tribe of people at a bar or club frequented by singles.

Get clear on where the people you want to connect with are hanging out, so you can then determine which places you want to meet them in.

How Are You Going to Connect?

Once you’ve determined where your like-minded people are hanging out, you then have to decide how and where you’re going to engage with them.

Chances are, there are going to be multiple ways you can connect (i.e. in-person networking events, seminars/live events, mastermind groups, other online forums, etc.), so you can determine which one best suits you.

If you’re an introvert by nature and want to ease into connecting with people, then starting online through groups and forums may be right up your alley.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for that in-person connection around a shared passion, live events and seminars are great options.

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And if you’re a total extrovert and want to connect with people in your local area, networking events are a possibility.

The key is to pick the options that you think will allow you to be comfortable so that you can genuinely connect with people.

How Much Time Will You Spend?

The last thing you want to determine when creating your connection plan is how much time you want to dedicate to it.

Are you going to try to attend a live event a month? Perhaps you have to be present and engage for an hour in some online group.

Regardless, connecting with like-minded people is just like anything else you want to be successful at – it requires action.

If you’re serious about really attracting people who inspire you and will allow you to transform your life, then you can’t leave it up to chance. Figure out how much time you want to dedicate to this, and stick to it.

3. Put Yourself Out There

The last step to attracting and connecting with like-minded people is to put yourself out there.

We have this innate fear of judgment, and we hold ourselves back in so many ways from living the life that we desire.

But in the words of Bruce Lee, “courage is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to act in the presence of fear.”

For most people, just the thought of connecting with strangers and potentially being judged is enough to stop them in their tracks. But you have to be willing to push forward despite that fear.

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Having connections is essential to a quality life, and it can be transformative to your success. But you have to be willing to face the fear and do it.

Once you’ve done connection tip two, and have created your plan, stick to it. Treat it like it’s a contract that has a stiff penalty if you break it. In fact, you can even come up with some penalties of your own to ensure that you stick to it.

For example, a friend of mine, who is a huge New York Giants football fan, wrote a check for an uncomfortable sum of money to the Dallas Cowboys – the arch-rivals of his beloved team. He then gave his best friend permission to mail that check if he didn’t follow through on building his business.

Accountability works wonders when it comes to creating a result. So, if you’re serious about wanting to attract and connect with like-minded people who inspire you, consider creating an accountability system of your own.

Either way, you have to be willing to get out there and actually connect in order to attract the right people.

You Can Attract Like-Minded People

Making connections can be intimidating if you allow it to be. But, if you do the things I’ve outlined above, it will be a lot easier to do without all of the potential fear and overwhelm.

Remember, start by getting clear on who you want to connect with and attract based on your core values. You have to know what you value to know whether someone actually is “like-minded.”

Secondly, create a plan for connecting. So much of the overwhelming feeling when attracting the right people into our lives is from not knowing where to start or what to do. But like every other thing you want to be successful at, if you create a connection plan, things will be so much clearer for you.

Lastly, you have to take action and put yourself out there. Don’t let the fears of potential judgment or rejection hold you back.

If you do those three things, you’ll have no problem attracting and connecting with like-minded people who inspire you.

More Tips to Help You Connect with Others

Featured photo credit: Alexis Brown via unsplash.com

More by this author

Justin Aldridge

Success Coach, Author, and Speaker helping people wake up to their potential to create lives better than their wildest dreams.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

“Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

1. Make a Gratitude List

In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

2. Write in a Journal

Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

3. Meditate

Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

4. Do Child’s Pose

Yoga Outlet says:

“Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

     

    Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

    5. Try Positive Self-Talk

    Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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    When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

    Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

    When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

    When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

    Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

    6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

    Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

    You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

    It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

    Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

    If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

    7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

    “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

    If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

    You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

    When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

    If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

    Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

    Final Thoughts

    If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

    Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

    You can invest in yourself via self-care.

    You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

    More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

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