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Extrovert: We Just Love being Around people, Not Attention Seeking!

Extrovert: We Just Love being Around people, Not Attention Seeking!

There is no denying that each person on this planet is unique. It is hard to put such unique individuals into categories, but despite that fact, there are some personality traits that can roughly put people into certain categories. One of the most well-known categorizations says people can be an introvert, extrovert or ambivert.

Introverted people are those who seek solitude and isolation, and rarely participate in social activities. They avoid large groups of people and prefer to spend time with their thought. On the other hand, extroverts are those people who you see in the spotlight of every social event. They are outgoing, like to interact with other people, and are often good leaders. Ambiverts will sometimes display introverted characteristics, and sometimes display extroverted characteristics.

What are extroverts like?

As mentioned, extroverts like to socialize, meet new people and talk to them. So how do you know if someone is extrovert?

Extroverts love to talk

You have probably noticed those people who always break the awkward silence at parties, or spend their time circling around and talking to as many people as they can. Or in a bus, supermarket, or any other public place for that matter, starting conversation with total strangers. They just love to talk. They can talk with anyone about almost anything. They are eager to meet new people and find out everything about them.

Extroverts feel energized when they are around people

Unlike introverts, extroverts don’t enjoy being alone – being around people boosts their energy. If they are given the choice to stay at home on a Friday night, or go out to a pub, for example, they would always choose to be among people, even if they are tired or have had a difficult day. Staying home alone is not how they charge their batteries and find inspiration. Throw them in a large group of people and they will feel as if they have had a large cup of coffee.

Extroverts need to talk about their feelings

Introverts prefer to sort out their feelings in silence, on their own, whereas extroverts feel better if they discuss their problems and feelings with someone. If they have had some problems at work, or in a relationship, what makes them feel better is if they share their concerns with others.

Extroverts have many interests

Extroverts love dynamic surroundings and they tend to constantly seek for new experiences, and thus they develop many new interests. As they love interacting with people and learning about them, they hear a lot of new information and so they get interested in trying new things.

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Extroverts are very open to people

People find extroverts friendly and approachable as they don’t shy away from sharing how they feel or what they think about a certain subject. They don’t tend to think a lot about what they are going to say, or take the time to organize their thoughts before they speak – they just blurt out everything that comes to their mind.

Extroverts enjoy being the center of attention

Extroverts don’t have a problem with speaking in public, actually, they love it! When all eyes are on them – that’s their moment to shine. They are the ones who tell all the best jokes at parties, or gather groups of people around them to admire their stories. They are not afraid to step onto the dance floor and show all their dance moves.

Misconceptions we have for extroverts.

Even though they are outgoing and always try to make people laugh, they also have their share of struggles.

Extroverts are not 100% confident all the time

People tend to perceive extroverts as super confident as they have no problem with speaking to strangers or in front of a large group of strangers. As every other person, extroverts have their self doubts from time to time. They just come off as so confident about their skills that it’s hard for other people to imagine they have insecurities, but they actually do.

Extroverts can be depressed and sad too

Extroverts draw their energy when they are around people and thus always seem to be in a good mood when you see them at social gatherings. However, they also feel sad or depressed if they don’t get their daily dose of interaction with others.

Extroverts are outgoing but they need alone time too

Yes, extroverts also need their alone time. From time to time, they just need to read a book, watch a movie on their own, or put on their headphones, listen to music and not talk to anyone. The thing is that their need to be alone doesn’t last as long as with introverts, for example.

Making friends can be hard for extroverts too

Just because it is easy for extroverts to start a conversation with just about anyone, it doesn’t mean they have tons of friends. Sometimes, other people might find it off-putting when someone talks a lot, so it can be equally hard for extroverts to connect with people as it is for anyone else.

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Extroverts will feel lonely too

Even if extroverts are surrounded by tons of friends, it is not necessarily the case that they are best friends with all of them. They like to be around people, but that doesn’t mean all the people around them really know or understand them. That’s the feeling everybody, even extroverts, can relate to – that some days no one can get what you are going through and you feel so lonely.

Extroverts are not obsessed with themselves

It is true that extroverts like to be the center of attention, but that doesn’t qualify them as narcissists – it’s just their way of expressing themselves. Their need for attention might seem selfish but they are actually trying to make people around them feel better.

What you need to know if you are in love with an extrovert?

1. They love real-life social interactions

Instead of wasting their time in front of screens, extroverts prefer talking to people face to face, so don’t expect them to text a lot. Instead of hanging out in the virtual world, they will expect you to spend time together going to restaurants, cinema or just walking in the park.

2. They love to talk, but they also love to listen

Extroverts enjoy a good talk, but they don’t enjoy one way conversation. They like to interact, which means they will listen to you carefully as they expect your feedback or reaction.

3. Extroverts like to be in the spotlight, but that doesn’t make them egoists

Extroverts love attention and don’t shy away from it. They love when you pamper them, but that doesn’t mean they are selfish. They will also do anything they can to make you feel good.

4. They can get bored easily

If you are in love with an extrovert, you need to be open to trying new things or picking up new hobbies. They are always looking for new things to keep them energized, so you will need to keep up with their pace.

5. Extroverts are not close to everyone

Even though they like interacting with people, they don’t manage to develop close relationships with all of those people. They are sociable, but of course there are people whose company extroverts do not find pleasant.

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6. Extroverts can feel hurt too

Communicating with a lot of people gives extroverts the ability to filter out the unnecessary information, thus making it look like they are insensitive to other people’s emotions. However, as every human being, extroverts can be deeply hurt too, especially by the people they care about.

7. They want instant gratification

Being the people of action, extroverts are impatient when it comes to getting their reward. They would always rather choose to spend their money on something that will make them happy instantly, instead of saving the money for a bigger treat later on.

8. They don’t need to be with their loved ones all the time

Even though they enjoy spending time with their significant other, they love spending time with other people too. If you don’t feel like going out, they won’t feel the need to be clingy and force you to go with them. It’s fine by them if you stay at home, but don’t expect them to stay too. They need to charge their batteries by interacting with other people too.

9. Extroverts read too

There is a misconception that extroverts are shallow as they prefer spending time with people and making small talk. Loving to be around people doesn’t in any way interfere with their desire to read or educate themselves.

10. They are flexible

Extroverts can easily adapt to any changes in plans, and they are also willing to reach a compromise in what activities you should do as a couple.

What you need to know when working with an extrovert?

1. They like to discuss solutions to problems

Extroverts like to brainstorm and discuss how to solve problems at work. Give them space to express their ideas and they might come up with creative solutions.

2. They like to be praised

Extroverts like to receive feedback and they can be more productive if they see their efforts are appreciated. They will feel more stimulated if they are praised for their good work.

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3. They are good at interacting with people

Extroverts are very skilled in communicating with people and they will be highly effective when interacting with clients or presenting in front of a group of people.

4. They understand body language well

Extroverts are good at reading non-verbal clues, so you need to be well aware of your posture or tone of voice when talking with them, as they will notice everything.

5. Be aware of their energy

If extroverts spend some time working alone in the office, they will feel the need to socialize in order to feel energized again. It is important to give them the opportunity to re-energize, such as going on a short coffee break with them.

Oftentimes, people can’t be exactly categorized as extreme introverts or extroverts, as they can display some behavior characteristic to both of these groups. Being an extrovert doesn’t mean you are better than an introvert – no one can say that one personality type is better than the other. Everyone has their good and bad sides. Yet, if you get an understanding as to why people behave in a certain way, you will be able to have better relationships.

Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/ via pixabay.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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