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Extrovert: We Just Love being Around people, Not Attention Seeking!

Extrovert: We Just Love being Around people, Not Attention Seeking!

There is no denying that each person on this planet is unique. It is hard to put such unique individuals into categories, but despite that fact, there are some personality traits that can roughly put people into certain categories. One of the most well-known categorizations says people can be an introvert, extrovert or ambivert.

Introverted people are those who seek solitude and isolation, and rarely participate in social activities. They avoid large groups of people and prefer to spend time with their thought. On the other hand, extroverts are those people who you see in the spotlight of every social event. They are outgoing, like to interact with other people, and are often good leaders. Ambiverts will sometimes display introverted characteristics, and sometimes display extroverted characteristics.

What are extroverts like?

As mentioned, extroverts like to socialize, meet new people and talk to them. So how do you know if someone is extrovert?

Extroverts love to talk

You have probably noticed those people who always break the awkward silence at parties, or spend their time circling around and talking to as many people as they can. Or in a bus, supermarket, or any other public place for that matter, starting conversation with total strangers. They just love to talk. They can talk with anyone about almost anything. They are eager to meet new people and find out everything about them.

Extroverts feel energized when they are around people

Unlike introverts, extroverts don’t enjoy being alone – being around people boosts their energy. If they are given the choice to stay at home on a Friday night, or go out to a pub, for example, they would always choose to be among people, even if they are tired or have had a difficult day. Staying home alone is not how they charge their batteries and find inspiration. Throw them in a large group of people and they will feel as if they have had a large cup of coffee.

Extroverts need to talk about their feelings

Introverts prefer to sort out their feelings in silence, on their own, whereas extroverts feel better if they discuss their problems and feelings with someone. If they have had some problems at work, or in a relationship, what makes them feel better is if they share their concerns with others.

Extroverts have many interests

Extroverts love dynamic surroundings and they tend to constantly seek for new experiences, and thus they develop many new interests. As they love interacting with people and learning about them, they hear a lot of new information and so they get interested in trying new things.

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Extroverts are very open to people

People find extroverts friendly and approachable as they don’t shy away from sharing how they feel or what they think about a certain subject. They don’t tend to think a lot about what they are going to say, or take the time to organize their thoughts before they speak – they just blurt out everything that comes to their mind.

Extroverts enjoy being the center of attention

Extroverts don’t have a problem with speaking in public, actually, they love it! When all eyes are on them – that’s their moment to shine. They are the ones who tell all the best jokes at parties, or gather groups of people around them to admire their stories. They are not afraid to step onto the dance floor and show all their dance moves.

Misconceptions we have for extroverts.

Even though they are outgoing and always try to make people laugh, they also have their share of struggles.

Extroverts are not 100% confident all the time

People tend to perceive extroverts as super confident as they have no problem with speaking to strangers or in front of a large group of strangers. As every other person, extroverts have their self doubts from time to time. They just come off as so confident about their skills that it’s hard for other people to imagine they have insecurities, but they actually do.

Extroverts can be depressed and sad too

Extroverts draw their energy when they are around people and thus always seem to be in a good mood when you see them at social gatherings. However, they also feel sad or depressed if they don’t get their daily dose of interaction with others.

Extroverts are outgoing but they need alone time too

Yes, extroverts also need their alone time. From time to time, they just need to read a book, watch a movie on their own, or put on their headphones, listen to music and not talk to anyone. The thing is that their need to be alone doesn’t last as long as with introverts, for example.

Making friends can be hard for extroverts too

Just because it is easy for extroverts to start a conversation with just about anyone, it doesn’t mean they have tons of friends. Sometimes, other people might find it off-putting when someone talks a lot, so it can be equally hard for extroverts to connect with people as it is for anyone else.

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Extroverts will feel lonely too

Even if extroverts are surrounded by tons of friends, it is not necessarily the case that they are best friends with all of them. They like to be around people, but that doesn’t mean all the people around them really know or understand them. That’s the feeling everybody, even extroverts, can relate to – that some days no one can get what you are going through and you feel so lonely.

Extroverts are not obsessed with themselves

It is true that extroverts like to be the center of attention, but that doesn’t qualify them as narcissists – it’s just their way of expressing themselves. Their need for attention might seem selfish but they are actually trying to make people around them feel better.

What you need to know if you are in love with an extrovert?

1. They love real-life social interactions

Instead of wasting their time in front of screens, extroverts prefer talking to people face to face, so don’t expect them to text a lot. Instead of hanging out in the virtual world, they will expect you to spend time together going to restaurants, cinema or just walking in the park.

2. They love to talk, but they also love to listen

Extroverts enjoy a good talk, but they don’t enjoy one way conversation. They like to interact, which means they will listen to you carefully as they expect your feedback or reaction.

3. Extroverts like to be in the spotlight, but that doesn’t make them egoists

Extroverts love attention and don’t shy away from it. They love when you pamper them, but that doesn’t mean they are selfish. They will also do anything they can to make you feel good.

4. They can get bored easily

If you are in love with an extrovert, you need to be open to trying new things or picking up new hobbies. They are always looking for new things to keep them energized, so you will need to keep up with their pace.

5. Extroverts are not close to everyone

Even though they like interacting with people, they don’t manage to develop close relationships with all of those people. They are sociable, but of course there are people whose company extroverts do not find pleasant.

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6. Extroverts can feel hurt too

Communicating with a lot of people gives extroverts the ability to filter out the unnecessary information, thus making it look like they are insensitive to other people’s emotions. However, as every human being, extroverts can be deeply hurt too, especially by the people they care about.

7. They want instant gratification

Being the people of action, extroverts are impatient when it comes to getting their reward. They would always rather choose to spend their money on something that will make them happy instantly, instead of saving the money for a bigger treat later on.

8. They don’t need to be with their loved ones all the time

Even though they enjoy spending time with their significant other, they love spending time with other people too. If you don’t feel like going out, they won’t feel the need to be clingy and force you to go with them. It’s fine by them if you stay at home, but don’t expect them to stay too. They need to charge their batteries by interacting with other people too.

9. Extroverts read too

There is a misconception that extroverts are shallow as they prefer spending time with people and making small talk. Loving to be around people doesn’t in any way interfere with their desire to read or educate themselves.

10. They are flexible

Extroverts can easily adapt to any changes in plans, and they are also willing to reach a compromise in what activities you should do as a couple.

What you need to know when working with an extrovert?

1. They like to discuss solutions to problems

Extroverts like to brainstorm and discuss how to solve problems at work. Give them space to express their ideas and they might come up with creative solutions.

2. They like to be praised

Extroverts like to receive feedback and they can be more productive if they see their efforts are appreciated. They will feel more stimulated if they are praised for their good work.

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3. They are good at interacting with people

Extroverts are very skilled in communicating with people and they will be highly effective when interacting with clients or presenting in front of a group of people.

4. They understand body language well

Extroverts are good at reading non-verbal clues, so you need to be well aware of your posture or tone of voice when talking with them, as they will notice everything.

5. Be aware of their energy

If extroverts spend some time working alone in the office, they will feel the need to socialize in order to feel energized again. It is important to give them the opportunity to re-energize, such as going on a short coffee break with them.

Oftentimes, people can’t be exactly categorized as extreme introverts or extroverts, as they can display some behavior characteristic to both of these groups. Being an extrovert doesn’t mean you are better than an introvert – no one can say that one personality type is better than the other. Everyone has their good and bad sides. Yet, if you get an understanding as to why people behave in a certain way, you will be able to have better relationships.

Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/ via pixabay.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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