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Extrovert: We Just Love being Around people, Not Attention Seeking!

Extrovert: We Just Love being Around people, Not Attention Seeking!

There is no denying that each person on this planet is unique. It is hard to put such unique individuals into categories, but despite that fact, there are some personality traits that can roughly put people into certain categories. One of the most well-known categorizations says people can be an introvert, extrovert or ambivert.

Introverted people are those who seek solitude and isolation, and rarely participate in social activities. They avoid large groups of people and prefer to spend time with their thought. On the other hand, extroverts are those people who you see in the spotlight of every social event. They are outgoing, like to interact with other people, and are often good leaders. Ambiverts will sometimes display introverted characteristics, and sometimes display extroverted characteristics.

What are extroverts like?

As mentioned, extroverts like to socialize, meet new people and talk to them. So how do you know if someone is extrovert?

Extroverts love to talk

You have probably noticed those people who always break the awkward silence at parties, or spend their time circling around and talking to as many people as they can. Or in a bus, supermarket, or any other public place for that matter, starting conversation with total strangers. They just love to talk. They can talk with anyone about almost anything. They are eager to meet new people and find out everything about them.

Extroverts feel energized when they are around people

Unlike introverts, extroverts don’t enjoy being alone – being around people boosts their energy. If they are given the choice to stay at home on a Friday night, or go out to a pub, for example, they would always choose to be among people, even if they are tired or have had a difficult day. Staying home alone is not how they charge their batteries and find inspiration. Throw them in a large group of people and they will feel as if they have had a large cup of coffee.

Extroverts need to talk about their feelings

Introverts prefer to sort out their feelings in silence, on their own, whereas extroverts feel better if they discuss their problems and feelings with someone. If they have had some problems at work, or in a relationship, what makes them feel better is if they share their concerns with others.

Extroverts have many interests

Extroverts love dynamic surroundings and they tend to constantly seek for new experiences, and thus they develop many new interests. As they love interacting with people and learning about them, they hear a lot of new information and so they get interested in trying new things.

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Extroverts are very open to people

People find extroverts friendly and approachable as they don’t shy away from sharing how they feel or what they think about a certain subject. They don’t tend to think a lot about what they are going to say, or take the time to organize their thoughts before they speak – they just blurt out everything that comes to their mind.

Extroverts enjoy being the center of attention

Extroverts don’t have a problem with speaking in public, actually, they love it! When all eyes are on them – that’s their moment to shine. They are the ones who tell all the best jokes at parties, or gather groups of people around them to admire their stories. They are not afraid to step onto the dance floor and show all their dance moves.

Misconceptions we have for extroverts.

Even though they are outgoing and always try to make people laugh, they also have their share of struggles.

Extroverts are not 100% confident all the time

People tend to perceive extroverts as super confident as they have no problem with speaking to strangers or in front of a large group of strangers. As every other person, extroverts have their self doubts from time to time. They just come off as so confident about their skills that it’s hard for other people to imagine they have insecurities, but they actually do.

Extroverts can be depressed and sad too

Extroverts draw their energy when they are around people and thus always seem to be in a good mood when you see them at social gatherings. However, they also feel sad or depressed if they don’t get their daily dose of interaction with others.

Extroverts are outgoing but they need alone time too

Yes, extroverts also need their alone time. From time to time, they just need to read a book, watch a movie on their own, or put on their headphones, listen to music and not talk to anyone. The thing is that their need to be alone doesn’t last as long as with introverts, for example.

Making friends can be hard for extroverts too

Just because it is easy for extroverts to start a conversation with just about anyone, it doesn’t mean they have tons of friends. Sometimes, other people might find it off-putting when someone talks a lot, so it can be equally hard for extroverts to connect with people as it is for anyone else.

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Extroverts will feel lonely too

Even if extroverts are surrounded by tons of friends, it is not necessarily the case that they are best friends with all of them. They like to be around people, but that doesn’t mean all the people around them really know or understand them. That’s the feeling everybody, even extroverts, can relate to – that some days no one can get what you are going through and you feel so lonely.

Extroverts are not obsessed with themselves

It is true that extroverts like to be the center of attention, but that doesn’t qualify them as narcissists – it’s just their way of expressing themselves. Their need for attention might seem selfish but they are actually trying to make people around them feel better.

What you need to know if you are in love with an extrovert?

1. They love real-life social interactions

Instead of wasting their time in front of screens, extroverts prefer talking to people face to face, so don’t expect them to text a lot. Instead of hanging out in the virtual world, they will expect you to spend time together going to restaurants, cinema or just walking in the park.

2. They love to talk, but they also love to listen

Extroverts enjoy a good talk, but they don’t enjoy one way conversation. They like to interact, which means they will listen to you carefully as they expect your feedback or reaction.

3. Extroverts like to be in the spotlight, but that doesn’t make them egoists

Extroverts love attention and don’t shy away from it. They love when you pamper them, but that doesn’t mean they are selfish. They will also do anything they can to make you feel good.

4. They can get bored easily

If you are in love with an extrovert, you need to be open to trying new things or picking up new hobbies. They are always looking for new things to keep them energized, so you will need to keep up with their pace.

5. Extroverts are not close to everyone

Even though they like interacting with people, they don’t manage to develop close relationships with all of those people. They are sociable, but of course there are people whose company extroverts do not find pleasant.

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6. Extroverts can feel hurt too

Communicating with a lot of people gives extroverts the ability to filter out the unnecessary information, thus making it look like they are insensitive to other people’s emotions. However, as every human being, extroverts can be deeply hurt too, especially by the people they care about.

7. They want instant gratification

Being the people of action, extroverts are impatient when it comes to getting their reward. They would always rather choose to spend their money on something that will make them happy instantly, instead of saving the money for a bigger treat later on.

8. They don’t need to be with their loved ones all the time

Even though they enjoy spending time with their significant other, they love spending time with other people too. If you don’t feel like going out, they won’t feel the need to be clingy and force you to go with them. It’s fine by them if you stay at home, but don’t expect them to stay too. They need to charge their batteries by interacting with other people too.

9. Extroverts read too

There is a misconception that extroverts are shallow as they prefer spending time with people and making small talk. Loving to be around people doesn’t in any way interfere with their desire to read or educate themselves.

10. They are flexible

Extroverts can easily adapt to any changes in plans, and they are also willing to reach a compromise in what activities you should do as a couple.

What you need to know when working with an extrovert?

1. They like to discuss solutions to problems

Extroverts like to brainstorm and discuss how to solve problems at work. Give them space to express their ideas and they might come up with creative solutions.

2. They like to be praised

Extroverts like to receive feedback and they can be more productive if they see their efforts are appreciated. They will feel more stimulated if they are praised for their good work.

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3. They are good at interacting with people

Extroverts are very skilled in communicating with people and they will be highly effective when interacting with clients or presenting in front of a group of people.

4. They understand body language well

Extroverts are good at reading non-verbal clues, so you need to be well aware of your posture or tone of voice when talking with them, as they will notice everything.

5. Be aware of their energy

If extroverts spend some time working alone in the office, they will feel the need to socialize in order to feel energized again. It is important to give them the opportunity to re-energize, such as going on a short coffee break with them.

Oftentimes, people can’t be exactly categorized as extreme introverts or extroverts, as they can display some behavior characteristic to both of these groups. Being an extrovert doesn’t mean you are better than an introvert – no one can say that one personality type is better than the other. Everyone has their good and bad sides. Yet, if you get an understanding as to why people behave in a certain way, you will be able to have better relationships.

Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/ via pixabay.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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